Close Encounters 27

She woke when Castle shifted her off of him and back to the seat, but she was too tired to protest, simply curled into the nearest thing. It happened to be both hard plastic and fuzzy warmth, and then she felt her son's giggle and his hand at the top of her head, patting.

"Shh. Quiet, James Beckett."

Castle moved away from them; she heard conversation from the driver, her father, her husband, but she was just so tired and the baby was canting his head down to hers and it was kind of nice, being squishy with him.

She dozed like that for a little while, cramped in the seat, crick in her neck, and then Castle crawled back to them and resumed his spot. His arm came under her shoulder and lifted her from the side of the carseat, and it was awkward but she found herself with her head in her husband's lap and the heavy weight of his palm over hear so that she slept.

She gasped awake when the SUV came to a groaning halt; she must have flailed out, because Castle had caught her wrist and was drawing her arms back down. She sucked in a terrified breath and that brought awareness, cold clarity, so that she grunted and sat up, rubbing a hand down her face.

Castle let her go, though she realized he was herding her jerky limbs away from the baby who was asleep in his seat, even through that.

"Where are we?" she husked.

"Just crossed into Mass," he whispered. "Heading for the ferry to take us over into Nantucket. And then we have another boat ride after that."

She blinked at him, nothing quite registering but that one geographic location. "Nantucket."

"Our place is a little south of there," he said quietly. The SUV had stopped for a traffic light at the end of an interstate exit; her father had turned around to give her a tired smile.

"Our place is... Nantucket is one of the most expensive beach properties... Castle," she gaped.

He shrugged.

"Did you - you didn't take from our retirement for this, did you? Because we-"

"No," he grinned. "The portfolio."

When they had been looking to buy their home, they'd gone over their finances together, delegating responsibility for bill-paying and other personal identity things that most people did rather automatically. So much of their money went through the CIA that she didn't always have a clear picture on just how much money they had; she knew it was a lot because hazard pay for the missions they ran was enormous.

Had been anyway. Hadn't been on hazard pay for a while now.

"How much of it-"

"All of it," he said, shrugging again. But he looked anything other than casual. This was a big deal; he'd spent a fortune acquiring the property, though to be fair, he had gotten it from the CIA in the first place, so the price would have been discounted, considering the fact that the government never sold out of the family.

"You liquidated the portfolio," she murmured. "Oh. Your father's portfolio."

Castle's eyes shifted away from hers, his shoulders seemed to hunch. Right before her eyes, his whole demeanor changed.

The portfolio was the massive wealth John Black had acquired through (and for) his MK-ULTRA project: the program. Technically, Castle himself. When Beckett had discovered the money trail and unearthed most of Black's holdings, Castle had been appalled. But they'd used that money for the medical team's new location and upkeep, and he'd had to admit that they'd needed it. She didn't know how much had been left after they rearranged the accounts and established the med team's trust.

But Castle had used it all. She knew he hadn't like having it.

"Hey," she said, catching his hand and bringing it against her chest. "That was extra; the trust is secure and the medical team has what they need. You didn't use any of ours-?"

"No, no," he husked. "Retirement, like you said, we're going to need it."

She nodded, swallowing. The covert nature of their jobs wouldn't end when they retired; not for them. It couldn't. They'd made too many enemies; the regimen was too necessary for their lives. They would need money to keep their identities under wraps for the rest of their lives.

James would need the money.

"It's just the stuff Black set up, long time ago. I took all of it and I bought this place for us because it's secluded and safe and I - you said once you wanted to go to the beach, and I want to take you. I want us to take our son to the beach like normal people."

Kate eased her body back against his, looped her arm at his waist. "I ever tell you, Castle?"

"Tell me what?"

"I never wanted to be normal."

He let out a shaky breath and his chin dropped to the top of her head. "I ever tell you? I always did." His fingers stroked through her hair, and it was a testament to how very soaked in his love she was, how completely solid was their partnership, that his admission didn't even rock her boat.

She just felt sad for that little boy who'd been abandoned by his mother to his father's untender mercies.

Kate pressed herself closer, brushed her lips to his ear. "Then we'll go to the beach, Rick. We'll take our son to the beach and have our vacation and nothing will hurt us there. Nothing can possibly hurt us."

And she believed it.

They made a motley crew disgorging from the SUV and straggling up to the Nantucket Ferry. Colin Hunt was rolled out a wheelchair, though he didn't look happy about it. Reese loaded Hunt's one piece of luggage onto his lap - a bag made up for him by one of their security members back in New York ages ago - and pushed him towards the ramp for priority boarding.

Castle held James on his injured side to hide the wound, though he had a fresh t-shirt and clean pants on, and Kate had changed as well, her body rising up from the backseat like a wave as she'd pulled on shorts and a t-shirt. She had packed dresses, she'd promised him, her mouth at his neck as she'd climbed back over the seat. But what did he need for dresses? Her shorts exposed the long line of her legs and made her knees knobby and touch-able. He was skimming his fingers at the tops of her thigh right now, though she swatted him and moved forward to the kiosk.

Kate had a bag over her shoulder and sunglasses on her head, and she glanced back at him now, winked as she paid for their ferry tickets, counting heads as they passed her to board. Castle hung back, letting all of them go ahead, waiting on Kate.

Six agents, her father, Colin Hunt, himself, James, and Kate last of all, bring up the rear with the dog's leash wrapped around her free hand. Sasha was docile, the wolf had been smoothed out of her by the long car ride, and she kept her nose in the air, scenting, though her ears were natural and her tail wagged from time to time.

James was completely sacked out on Castle's shoulder; Kate was long-limbed elegance beside him as they headed for the interior benches. The security men were attempting to be inconspicuous, but Castle had a feeling that no one was going to go unnoticed in their party. He and Kate and Jim sat alone, Hunt somewhere forward with Reese and another man, while the guys prowled the boat. Castle's best hope here was that they wouldn't be known as the family with the bodyguards, that no one else on the ferry with them would connect their little bunch to the trained men-in-black running around. Hopefully the man in the wheelchair would be associated with the team.

That was the idea anyway. They needed their island to be as unknown and untouched as possible to maintain its shroud of secrecy.

Once they got to Nantucket, it was going to be easier to control the flow of information. The second boat they took would go out of the Harbor under CIA operation, and that eased his mind at least.

Kate was wriggling next to him as if she was trying to get comfortable, and he watched her out of the corner of his eye. When she got situated, he shifted James to the center of his chest to rest more comfortably - and off Castle's bad shoulder - and then he nudged her with his knee.

"Hanging in there?"

"Yeah. Nap in the car helped. Headache is just a dull throb."

"Concussion."

"Mm, maybe. Not sure. Got knocked around, but I never lost consciousness."

"Good," he breathed, but he was going to get her checked the second they got to the island. He and Reese had debated getting medical care in Nantucket itself, but they didn't want to leave a paper trail this close to their final spot.

"How's the wolf?" she murmured. At her feet, Sasha perked her ears up and gave them a look but Kate leaned over, petting her down again. "No, puppy, not you. I know how you are."

"Wolf number two is just fine. Asleep still?"

Kate glanced over and checked, ducking her head to see past the clutching of his elephant. "Yeah. He's not too heavy?"

"Oh, he's heavy," Castle drawled. "But it's just fine." Even if it weren't, Castle wasn't about to let her carry around the baby all evening. She'd been on half days, had been taking naps and going to bed early. This hadn't been a good day for her. To say the least.

Kate sighed and leaned her chin against his shoulder, tilted her head down to kiss the top of his shirt and then curled in next to him. She was warm, damp with sweat from their car ride. The ferry ride wasn't that long, but he hoped she slept, recovered a little while she could.

The ferry's engines started over, churning and groaning, and James stirred on his chest. His body shuddered as if with sleep, but his arms drew in and his head came up.

James blinked, looking around as if checking in. His mother first, then Castle, then widening his scope until he'd seen Jim on the other side of Kate and the dog on the floor, and further out - Colin and Reese and the guards. The boat was new for him, and his eyes were wide.

Castle shifted on the bench seat until James was closer to the window at their backs; the boy leaned out with both hands on the glass, his mouth dropping open at the view of the sound.

"Ocean," Kate said quietly. "All that water. And those are the trees where we were driving in our car."

James turned his head to her in one long, absorbed moment and then he looked back out over the water and the waves, the darkness and the stars.

"You see the moon?" Kate whispered, kissing his cheek. "The moon sees you."

And James laughed for them, clapped his hands together as if he hadn't just experienced a car chase escape from his home and a gun fight.

James was a hit.

The other passengers talked to him and clapped with him, oohing and ahhing over the scenery as James turned and pointed things out. He made his surprised face often, repeatedly drawing people into his vortex of cute and adorable.

Kate kept her cheek against Castle's good shoulder, hiding her laughter into his shirt. He was so frustrated, poor guy; he'd been planning this surreptitious, fly-by-night thing.

"Remember Versailles?" she murmured to him. James was entertaining a group of two grandmothers and three middle-school girls. He had the ladies wrapped around his finger. "Castle, you said the best way to hide was in plain sight."

"Because you're so stunningly gorgeous," he said, sounding affronted. "Not because my son is flirting with girls four times his age."

"He's not even one year old yet, so that would be technically-"

"Fine, women sixty times his age," Castle muttered.

"You love it," she laughed. James heard her and turned his head to include her in his wide-eyed wonder, pointing at the window and dark water beyond, the bobbing reflection of the moon. "I see, wolf. Isn't it so pretty?"

"Mama!"

"The moon."

He didn't try that word either; he hadn't repeated much of their sounds lately and she wasn't sure if that was because of his natural reserve or if he really was having a problem.

And when, in the overwhelming issue of her own damn recovery, had they been able to concentrate solely on their son and whatever issues he might have? The focus needed to swing back to him.

And Castle. Castle had-

"Mama!"

"I see you. It's all so new and pretty."

He strained to reach her, but again Castle wouldn't let him. Her husband put his mouth to James's ear and whispered instructions or remonstrations, and as he spoke, James's struggling ceased. Secret conversations. Castle was always having these little talks with him, like James knew at all what the words meant.

He seemed to get the tone though. Or maybe the thought behind it?

James went back to leaning against the window, watching the waves and the light on the water, and Kate slid her arm through Castle's and found his hand. "What did you tell him?"

"To be more considerate of his mother."

Kate sighed. "I'm really-"

"You still have wood chips in your side, Kate. I can see it on your face when you move too fast. And maybe a concussion. He can stay right here close to you and that will be more than enough."

She stared at the back of her son's head. Her son whose name they carefully weren't using in a public place, her son who had been caught in a car chase with Collective agents, her son who had applauded and grinned at them the whole time.

Her son who was perfectly happy watching the water go by the boat and pointing out the sights to his new friends.

No. She wasn't worried.

They disembarked in stages, Kate taking Sasha's leash, Castle with their son while the security team filtered through the line so that there was always a man ready, alert. Castle was quite pleased with their professionalism, the ease with which they made it happen.

He carried James, the boy still not tired. The nap in the car had probably screwed up his sleep schedule; the baby usually stayed up later with them than most, but he liked his sleep.

That had always reassured Castle. James got good sleep, long stretches of hours and hours, and if he could sleep, then he wasn't all that super. Not like Castle was super anyway. That was always what Castle had told himself.

They were nearly to the stairs that led topside, the two elderly women angling close to coo over James, picking up his hands and touching his cheek. Castle withstood it as best he could, smiling to the women, answering their questions about age and habits and mood with as much vagueness as he could get away with.

"Wait, hang on," Kate said suddenly, slapping the leash into his hand and darting around him. He saw the flash of pain on her face as the wound in her side took her by surprise, but she was still moving. He followed her trajectory and saw her return to their seats, and then she bent down and scooped up elephant.

Hell, if they'd left elephant on the damn boat after all that-

"Here, here," Kate said with a rush, coming back to them. She took the dog's leash back and tucked elephant into James's side; the boy beamed back at her, hugging the stuffed corduroy animal. That elephant had once been Kate's, a gift from him, and Castle was caught off-guard by how much it affected him, thinking they might have lost it.

"Hang on to it," he told James, hearing the sternness in his voice that came from emotion. He couldn't seem to help it. "You have to keep up with the things you love, little wolf."

"Dada?"

"Daddy's fine," Kate murmured, her fingers wrapping around his bicep. "Elephant's fine. We exfiltrated him."

One of the older women turned her smile on Kate with a kind of bewildered innocence, and Castle felt his wife grow rigid beside him. She'd slipped - just a little - using shop talk with their son like they always did.

"Are you ladies okay getting up the stairs?" Castle said hurriedly. "Because here we are. It's rather steep."

The two were immediately enchanted and hastened to reassure him, the moment smoothed over just like that. Kate let out a breath and knocked her forehead into his shoulder in gratitude, but Castle took one hand off James and caught hers with a squeeze.

"Like you said. We're fine; hide in plain sight. People see what they want to see - a cute baby with his parents."

She nodded, but he could see it had checked her - that slip. She wasn't fine. She'd been chased down and shot at, thrown from an exploding vehicle, hunted through the woods, and finally escaped. She was tired but she'd been tired, and this was pushing her too far past her breaking point.

"Reese has two men getting the cars off the ferry," he murmured. "And then we'll drive straight to the private dock and go from there. Maybe two more hours, three tops."

"I can make it," she told him. Her hand came out and tugged James's shirt down over his back, rubbed softly. "And if not, I know you'll carry me. It really will be fine."

He took a deeper breath and gestured her to go ahead of him up the narrow stairs. He had her back in case she fell, but she wouldn't fall. She was close, but she wasn't going to let him down.

Kate Beckett was singular. No one else could ever do what she did.

He followed his wife and their puppy up the stairs and out onto the deck, breathed in the warm, salt air. James snuggled down with his elephant and put his cheek to Castle's injured shoulder.

He didn't even feel it. The wound was healing.

The security team took possession of the water craft at the private dock a full twenty minutes before Castle, Jim, Kate and Hunt even made it there in their car. Hunt looked marginally better - they had Len keeping watch over him - but sitting up looked painful for him.

James had fallen asleep in the car's short ride across Nantucket, the dog at his feet, but he woke again when Castle got him out of his seat.

"Mama?"

"She's right here," Castle murmured, tucking elephant under his arm. The night was heavy and close with humidity, the darkness like a presence. James gave a pitiful noise - it was too far past bedtime for him - and Castle tried his best to soothe him. "Mommy's right here with Sasha. I bet you'd go to bed if Mommy curled up with you, right? Kate?"

She sighed at him. "Castle, I'm-"

"Yeah, I know you are, but he's tired, and you could use the rest too. So - two birds."

She narrowed her eyes at him in the darkness, but she didn't keep arguing with him about it. They followed Reese, who had come up from the dock to meet them, and they boarded the quiet little houseboat together. There were two cabins, fore and aft, and Colin was laid down in one with Len's insistence, while he and Kate and Jim moved into the other. Jim had grabbed the baby's bag, so they were marginally supplied, and the cabin had a narrow bunk against the wall.

"See?" Castle said, nodding. "Right there. Keep him from rolling off the bed."

Her jaw worked, just a brief flash of stubbornness, but she didn't refuse him. She sank down onto the bed and pushed the shoes off her feet, leaning over to rub Sasha's ears. "Fine. Dad? You too. At least sit down."

Jim Beckett had been rather quiet the whole trip, and Castle knew a talk was coming - when Kate fell asleep. That was fine; he deserved it. Jim was her father and his concern was warranted - his fears were warranted. Castle nodded to the older man and headed for the bed with James.

"Castle, you too. Sit with me," Kate told him. "Right here. You don't move."

"Kate, I should-"

"No."

He closed his mouth, regarded her thoughtfully. He was learning; he really was. She needed that security of having everyone she loved in place, near at hand, and he was finally figuring out how to meet her needs.

"Lie down, then," he said, moving to sit as well. He sank to the foot of the bed, lowered James to the mattress beside the wall. He placed elephant close at hand, but the stuffed animal didn't seem to help. The boy whined in his struggle for sleep, drew his knees up under his body as he tried to get comfortable.

Sasha watched from her spot on the floor, ever the attentive mother-wolf, but she dropped her muzzle to the mattress and seemed content. Kate laid on her side with her body curled around James and the baby latched onto her, burrowing into her arms.

The wound was on this side, and Castle reached down, skimmed her shirt up to take a look. She'd been bandaged by Len earlier, and the blood hadn't seeped through the sterile pad, so it was okay for now. Lying on her good side meant that her back was to the room, and he realized that might be part of why she needed him. He could stand guard, and she could come down from high alert.

Castle shifted an arm under her shoulder and pulled her into his lap, her cheek against his thigh. Her eyes closed on a sigh, but her body was loose around James, already dragged down with exhaustion.

Jim settled into the chair at the narrow table, all of the furniture bolted down in the cabin. He laid his hands on the wood finish and watched Kate's back. Sasha finally dropped down to lay on the floor, making that peculiar wolf-yawn as she did.

Castle lowered his hand to his wife's head, smoothed the hair back from her face. Her eyes opened and flicked up to him, a thin and fleeting smile, and then her shoulder dropped and her eyes closed and she drifted off.

He kept his hand carefully still, fingers petting her hair, laid his other hand on James's back, keeping watch. When he was sure that Kate was too far under to rouse again, and James on his way, Castle lifted his head to look at Jim.

"I'm - sorry for this," he said quietly. He'd gotten Jim's attention, and her father raised his eyes, his mouth opening. But Castle had to say it first. "It's not right, and I know that. James should never have been in the middle of this - and I know I keep saying it, but I want Kate clear, I do, only she keeps getting caught in my-"

"Son," Jim said firmly, interrupting. "Don't."

Castle swallowed. "I just want you to know that I know what we're doing is bringing down trouble. I know I keep making these promises and shit keeps following me back to her and-"

"Rick," the man called. "Rick, don't ever apologize for making promises. Not you. You follow through every last time." Jim was standing up now, pushing out of the chair and heading for him. He looked tired too, and it was late for all of them, and yet Castle was the one in a bed.

Jim got to them and reached out his hand - but he laid it on Castle's shoulder and squeezed. "Son, I'd hug you, but I'm afraid I'd wake everyone up. I don't think you quite get just how impossible this seemed five years ago. My daughter has a good man who loves her beyond what seems humanly possible, and you have a son that you both are teaching to follow in those footsteps. Whatever it is you have to do to keep that - the balance of your family - you should never apologize for."

Castle lifted his head, gave Jim a look, his heart in his throat.

Jim sighed and sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed, his hand still squeezing Castle's shoulder. "After my wife was murdered, Kate broke apart in the way only she can - inside, piece by piece, contained. She had - it seemed like she was all sharp, jagged edges. You couldn't - handle her or she'd cut you."

Fuck.

"And then I got drunk and stayed that way. It was a dark time. But we made this deal with each other - I'd sober up and get help, and well, so would she."

"I - heard this," he rasped. "She's told me."

"She never kept her end of it," Jim said clearly. "Not for any length of time. She went door-to-door in that neighborhood once - she tell you that? Door to door in Washington Heights asking the same - same damn questions that got her mother killed."

Of course she had. Of course. She was Kate Beckett.

"And worse, she did worse. I knew it, but I couldn't really call her on it - I'd lost all my credibility with her, long time ago. When she made detective, I thought... here it goes. It starts now. I'll never - never get her back."

"God," Castle whispered.

"I had to come to terms with that a long time ago, Rick. That I was going to lose her - and probably worse, more devastating a way than I'd lost Jo."

Jo. Castle had never heard Kate's mother mentioned in such familiar terms. As a person and not just this crusade, this trauma that had fucked them all up. Hell, it was heartbreaking, and here was his son in his arms and his wife asleep in his lap, and Jo had been Jim's partner just the same.

"All of this feels like a wild and outrageous gift from above," Jim scraped out. "Extra. At any moment..."

"No," Castle said, shaking his head. "We have worked damn hard to be here, Jim, and we are not letting it go. Are we?"

Jim gave a relieved little chuckle, swiping his hand down his face. "Do my best. I just meant to say - you stop apologizing for doing all that damn hard work, son. You hear me?"

Castle nodded, swallowing thickly.

Jim patted his shoulder. "You keep holding on to it, and you will never hear a word sideways from me, Rick. Now fill me in on all this with - your brother?"

It took Castle entirely too long to switch gears.

"Colin Hunt," he said finally. "Hell, I don't even know."

"So. Start talking. Maybe we'll figure it out."

So Castle just started talking.