Close Encounters 27

"Quiet, wolf," he murmured, carrying James into the living room. "Mommy's sleeping."

Jim had been keeping the boy occupied all afternoon to give Kate a chance to sleep, and she was still asleep now, curled on the couch. She had barely moved and now the afternoon sunlight was drawing gold and red across her face.

Castle knelt down beside the couch, kept James from reaching out. "See? Here she is. But she's asleep."

"Mm, awake."

He laughed softly and watched as Kate slowly opened her eyes, lips pulling in, tongue catching her bottom lip. She didn't move her spot, she just traced her gaze over them.

"Hey," he said softly. "Thought you'd want to get in on bath time."

"Oh, I do. It's that late?"

"It's that late," he whispered.

"Is the water running?"

"Your dad went up to start his bath."

She hummed something and her eyes closed again.

"Mama." James leaned out for her, but Castle caught him again, kept the boy against his chest.

"Wait, James Beckett. Wait a minute and let Mommy wake up."

"Will you crawl in with me?" she said instead, eyes flickering.

"Yeah, of course," Castle said, ducking in to kiss her forehead. "Here, take him with you and I'll get us adjusted."

With his help, Kate shifted a little more upright, James spilling onto the couch with a giggle and crawling into her lap. Castle got his body behind hers, the wide cushions making an ideal spot. They should have slept here last night instead of on the floor.

Castle got her situated with her head at his stomach and her torso over his thigh, James in the cradle made by his other leg. His own head hit the arm of the couch, but when he tried to pull her up to rest on his chest, she waved him off.

"You good like that?" he murmured.

"Mm, yeah. Don't move me."

"Okay," he said easily, laying his hand at the back of her head. She had one of her arms hooked around James and it didn't take long for her to rouse, lift her hand from James's belly.

"Is he - sticky? What is this?"

Castle laughed, so hard that she lifted her head from his hip and watched him with a raised eyebrow. "I forgot," he admitted. "That was dinner. I made chicken alfredo and the wolf really liked it. Right, Jay?"

James gave his mother that shy smile and Kate laughed, a tired sound but at least happy. She shifted then, crawled up to lie down at his chest; Castle got to put his arms around her and drop his chin to the top of her head, James left to giggle as he climbed their tangled legs.

"What was that about?" he murmured. But he was happy to have her up here with him; he wasn't complaining.

"Just couldn't make it before," she sighed.

"You gonna make it down the hall to our room for his bath?"

"Yeah. You know how it is. Oh, never mind, you don't. For the rest of us, first few minutes you wake up-"

He growled and pinched her skinny hip; she jerked and laughed, drawing her legs up to avoid the baby.

"Oh, don't make me laugh. That's exhausting," she gasped.

"Hey, I was thinking."

"Uh-oh."

He rolled his eyes, scratched his fingers at her scalp. "Thinking maybe we should call Logan and see if he can't make us another infusion."

Kate stiffened. "But that's - from James," she said.

"It is," he said slowly. "But it's better than giving you supplements, babe."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" he growled. "Kate-"

"Better than the supplements, yes, fine. But I don't like - I don't like taking from James."

"He took from you," Castle frowned.

"But he's supposed to. I'm his mother. I'm-"

"Okay," he said quickly. "Okay. It was a thought."

"Give me a day to at least - to have a chance to do this without resorting to taking from our kid."

"You're right. A day, a week, however long it takes. That's not what I was trying to - I just want you to feel better."

She gripped his shirt and gave a shuddering breath out, her nose pressing hard into his chest. "I didn't mean to freak you out. In the cottage. I just - hit a wall and-"

"No, no, love. I know. You didn't freak me out. You're allowed to hit a wall and fall apart and whatever you gotta do. What I'm here for."

James started crawling up their legs with that winning smile, heading for his mother's arms. Kate opened up to him, embraced him - sticky alfredo sauce and all, and Castle watched her love on their son.

She was okay; she was going to be fine. He couldn't jump off a cliff every time she needed to take twelve hours off and sleep the day away. She was still recovering and yesterday she had completely gone above and beyond.

He gripped the knot of her hair at her neck and touched his lips to her forehead as she cuddled with James. "Hey. Kate?"

"Yeah."

"You showed up yesterday, had my back and kept our family safe even though, damn, it's taken its toll."

"I just-"

"It's fine; it's our life. I wanted you to know that I see it - what you're doing for us, how you manage to be everything we need."

Kate sucked in a breath and turned her cheek to the top of James's head, her eyes meeting his. "I hope so."

"I know so," he said firmly. "You're an amazing woman - wife, mother, partner, secret spy." He grinned and she shared the flickering smile, something in her look that reminded him of James when he was shy. He touched his fingers to her lips, wanting to feel their shape. "No one should be able to do all that and yet you keep doing it. You never let me down. How do you manage to do that?'

She bit her bottom lip, her eyes filling, but she wasn't crying. Her smile was watery but there was so much joy in it.

"I love you," she whispered. "That's all. I just love you."

Kate slowly worked the shirt off over James's head, being careful of his neck. Her nine month old baby was beginning to be such a little boy, and even now as he gave her a shy smile and reached for the teething ring - rescued from the sand and washed clean by Reese - he was rolling over and scooting away.

"Castle," she laughed. "Get him."

Castle came back through to the bedroom and grabbed James before he could get to his feet and run off. He picked up James and made the boy laugh, rubbing his beard against James's bare stomach, the kid gripping fistfuls of Castle's hair and gasping.

Kate threw the shirt into the pile of dirty clothes in the corner, smiling at her boys. Castle put James back on the floor, setting his feet to the bare wood, and the boy rocked forward, made a lurching run for the dog, who withstood the embrace.

Sasha licked his cheeks of alfredo sauce and James giggled.

Kate glanced at the pile of clothes. "Hey, Rick. How much stuff do we have here for him?"

"We got one of his bags. Mostly clothes. But we're running short on the cloth diapers."

Kate winced. "I should do-"

"Not you. I've already got a load in the washing machine. Your dad is going to put them in the dryer. We'll do them as fast as he goes through them."

Kate grimaced and lifted her eyes to her husband, but Castle shook his head at her. She knew what he wanted to say without him having to say it. This was just life.

"We should probably take an inventory."

He nodded. "Yeah, I just haven't had the time."

Her father came out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his jeans. He scooped up James and did the same trick, tickling the boy on his bare belly. When James had slumped into exhausted delight in his arms, Jim grinned over at her.

"You're feeling better?"

"Yeah," she promised. Still sitting on the floor without the will to move, but better.

"Bath's ready for you guys. Do you need me...?"

"No, no," Castle said. "You're off-duty. Feel free to explore."

"I'll take Sasha with me, if you don't mind. Give her a chance to get out too."

"Oh, thank you, Dad," Kate murmured, staring longingly at her puppy. And the outdoors, and not being this damn tired. "That's a huge help. Castle, a hand?"

He came to her and practically did all the work lifting her to her feet. She followed him to her father and kissed Jim's cheek, hugging him even as Castle took James from his arms.

"Go have fun, Dad."

"You're so jealous," he chuckled. James chuckled in imitation of him and they laughed.

"I am jealous," she admitted. "But I'll get my turn. After I sleep for days. Come on, my guys, time for bath."

Castle nudged her forward into the bathroom and she went ahead of them, sinking down to the floor beside the tub, her elbow propped on the jacuzzi side. The water smelled like her son, that mix of baby soap and the lavender night time mix they added to the bath. It was a massive tub too, and she would never reach James like this. Bath time was work.

Damn it.

Castle came in then with a naked little boy, dropping the used diaper on top of the toilet lid. James was trying to reach out for her, but Castle kept him, lowered him into the bath, and then sank down to his ass in the bath water.

"What are you doing?" she laughed, staring at him.

"No bath seat," he shrugged. "And he's strong, but this tub is huge."

"Yeah," she sighed, eyeing the water. She wanted in.

"You want in?" he said, eyebrows dancing.

She bit her lip and then lifted up from the tub, stripped off her shirt. "I want in."

"Can you make the climb?"

"There are stairs," she protested, laughing at him.

"Do you need help undressing, because I could be persuaded-"

"Let me just striptease for you instead," she grinned, slowly pushing off the tub to get to her feet. Not sexy really, but there was a kid in the room.

Castle moved his hand in front of James's eyes, and she laughed again, bubbling with it, her husband in his soaked shorts and bare chest, and herself so damn tired it wasn't even happening.

But she slipped her thumbs into the waistband of her boxer shorts, worked her hips side to side as she slid them down her legs.

"Fucking hell, Kate," he growled. "I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be doing that around him."

She laughed, caught-breath surprise, beamed at him. "And you're very sweet." She stepped slowly out of her shorts, slowly enough to be sure that she wouldn't fucking trip over them and ruin the whole thing.

Castle rubbed his hand back over James's head, dampening his hair as he did, spiking it up. "I'm not really kidding."

She was in panties and a bra and she felt about as attractive as a limp dish rag, but still Castle was shifting in the water and looking uncomfortable, avoiding making eye contact.

She got a foot on the step leading up to the jacuzzi tub and eased herself over the side, letting out a soft breath when the warm water washed over her. James gave her his surprised face, rounded mouth and wide eyes, and then he clapped his hands, clearly impressed.

She cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him for it. "Oh, Daddy has been talking to you again, hasn't he? My boys are so encouraging."

Castle grunted as she lifted up again. Kate lengthened her leg and nudged him with a toe, his body filling the rest of the space. He shook his head and started running his wet fingers through James's hair, the boy's head tugging back as he played with the measuring cups someone had found for bath toys.

Kate pushed a floating 1/4 cup towards him and James beamed at her, slapped the 1/2 cup in his hand into the water so that it sprayed up and doused her.

James's mouth dropped open in a round O, his eyes wide.

Kate laughed, lashes wet, and it made James laugh too, and then Castle was leaning forward, the boy braced against his leg. She went very still, waited while her husband slowly drew his thumb under her eyes, wiping away the bath water.

She had to remind herself to take a breath.

When she opened her eyes, it was all over his face. How much he loved her, what he would do for her, how amazed he was.

She bit the corner of her lip and automatically opened her arms to her son who was trying to crawl into her lap. But her eyes were pinned to her husband's. She wanted so badly to not be this tired, to be able to do something about how much love was welling up.

"Castle."

"Yeah?" he gruffed.

"Will you write me more of the artist's story?" she asked. Because it did something to settle her, reading the words that poured out of him, but even more than that-

Even more than that. The writing did something for him too, reconciled the broken parts of him, made him okay with whatever trauma they'd been doused in.

"For you, Kate, anything."

For him too.

When James woke at eight, as bright-eyed as he ever was, Castle softly carried him out of the living room and got him changed and dressed in the empty bedroom, letting Kate sleep. (They'd claimed the couch last night.) This morning, the baby wanted to snuggle for the most part, kept trying to dip back down against Castle's chest as he wrestled the kid into a shirt and shorts, and he figured it was the best time to get a few things done.

"We'll make breakfast at Uncle Colin's," he whispered, kissing James's cheek as he carried him out. Jim was in the kitchen with coffee, but Castle declined. "I'm gonna head over to talk with Colin Hunt. He's - well, I guess he's family whether we like it or not, so we're going to get a few things straight."

"You're taking James?"

"Yeah. Keep it - civil," Castle said, shrugging his shoulders.

Jim stood up and hugged him. "Be nice, son." Castle laughed, surprised by the admonition, but Jim only shrugged back. "Kate would say it. So I figured I could be your stand-in Beckett."

"She would definitely," he admitted. "It's gonna be tough love, but it's necessary. He's lied to our faces more than once, and Kate's bound and determined to forgive him for it. So."

Jim winced. "Kate doesn't easily trust, but once she's made that deicison, she doesn't back down."

"Exactly that," Castle sighed. "I'll make it clear to him."

"Well, then, I approve." Jim gave him a tired smile. "This is a little off-topic, but how long do you think we need to stay out here?"

"Shit, I'm sorry. It's been-"

"I don't mind, son. Not one bit. I've got a few projects on my plate, but they're not time sensitive. I'm retired," he grinned. "I'm flexible. Just like to know how it's shaping up out there."

"We're still gathering intel on this group, the Collective. With one of their top members gone, dead, it's going to cause a shake up," Castle admitted. James was falling asleep again, so he jostled the boy awake. "We'll ride out the storm here. I'd say a few weeks, for sure, but the real question is - do we need to get you moved to a new place in the city? That's going to be answered in the next few days, as we find out what they know, how much they trusted her information to be accurate, that kind of thing."

"Sounds pretty open-ended," Jim said, rubbing his jaw. "Well, then I propose this: let me head to the mainland for a few days. I'll get supplies and start shipping stuff back here. You send a guy with me who knows how to do that covertly, obviously I can't deliver a mattress to your front door, but Kate needs a bed."

"Yes, sir," he said, feeling chastened. "That's a good idea. You don't mind being our personal shopper?"

"Not a bit. And Kate can pick out what she wants online, I'll be in-store to get it seen to."

"You're a lifesaver," Castle sighed, then went ahead and gave Jim a side hug, so damn relieved he couldn't help himself. "That takes care of so much."

"Whenever you have someone you can spare, I'll go."

"I'll send Reese out with you," Castle said firmly. Reese was the most experienced with being a personal bodyguard, plus the guy had been in the service. Reese was the one he trusted the most. "We'll get that done today."

Jim nodded, looking pretty pleased with himself, and Castle made a note to include the man in his plans more often. He was her father; he'd been taking care of business for longer than Castle had - and he'd taken care of James like another parent.

"I appreciate this," Castle roughed. "There are so many things to get done, and I keep having to put this on the back burner."

Jim winked at a sleepy-eyed James, patted the boy on the back. "I'll round up Reese and tell him the plan. We'll get going."

Castle nodded. "And I'll get breakfast going over at the guest house. If Kate wakes-"

"I'll tell her."

"Thanks." He gripped Jim's shoulder and then left the man to his mission.

It was scrambled eggs and toast again, but at least Colin looked like he wasn't going to pass out just from sitting up in bed.

Castle set the tray on the mattress at Colin's left side and then he sank down into the empty chair with James in his lap, and a plate of their own.

"Really?" Colin said, eyeing the boy. "You bring your kid along for every interrogation?"

"Only to yours," Castle said cheerfully. "Since, you know, you say it's a vicious feedback loop."

"My headache isn't going to get you what you want to know."

"Don't need to know a thing, Colin." Castle held out his palm to James and let the boy pick out pieces of scrambled eggs from his hand. He couldn't be trusted with the plate, not with his motor skills, but a messy hand was worth it if he could sit right here with Hunt and look him in the eye.

"Then what's this about?" Colin said finally. But he did take a slice of toast.

James garbled something around his hand, shoved deep in his mouth with egg, and Castle settled his free hand over the boy's head, smoothing his hair down where sleep had mohawked it.

"We're just gonna have a talk," Castle said. "Brother to brother."

"Oh, really."

"With Black for a father - or no father at all - you and I are probably a lot alike. Same defensive mechanisms, same coping skills. One of my coping skills - taught to me by my training, drilled into me at every opportunity - was how to get what I needed no matter the cost."

"What is this about, Castle?"

"It's about Kate," he answered quietly.

Hunt closed his mouth.

"I won't say I'm perfect, or that I've learned everything there is to know about being a good man for her, but I do know a few things. And one of those is that you can't lie to Kate."

"I wasn't lying. I just didn't say everything I knew-"

"This isn't time for a defense," Castle interrupted. "You've had your judgment day. You're lucky Kate's merciful, because I'm not. What I'm trying to make you understand is that the thing about Beckett? Once she's decided you're with her, you are with her."

Colin stared into his plate.

"She doesn't let you go. She won't leave you behind to die; she won't let go. And yes, that means she'll take it if you abuse her trust. She'll take it every time. But you do not get to abuse her just because she'll take it."

"You're not-"

"This isn't about me. This is about Kate. I had to learn - I got to learn - by being with her. By trial and error. She taught me how to keep from mangling her heart."

"Would you just shut the fuck up?"

"I know. I know it's cruel to rub your nose in it, but here's the thing, Colin. Looks like you're going to be in our lives. We can't escape it. She wouldn't let us anyway. So if you really do love her, if you love her and you don't want to just fuck her over," -fuck, it was so damn difficult to say that- "then you better fucking act like it."

Colin put the toast back on the plate and didn't say anything, didn't touch the food.

"You have got to stop betraying her. You can't lie and act like she won't come through for you, act like she won't be fucking loyal to you, because I am telling you now, she will never let go."

"She won't let go," Colin echoed, voice scratching.

"She isn't built to let people go." Castle sucked in a breath, let it out again. "And I want you to fucking feel it. From me. How it feels. To have you fucking wound her, wound her. So I brought James in with me. Give you a nice feedback loop for breakfast."

"Bloody hell," Hunt whispered.

"It's not because she's my wife. It is only because she's Kate. No one ever taught me that what I was doing to people was wrong. That it wounded them, my betrayal. It was for the job, it was just the job. And then all of life was the job, so then I was lying and cheating and stabbing people in the back like it was breathing. But Kate taught me differently. And now I'm teaching you. I'm telling you. Brothers."

Colin closed his eyes. Castle shut up and sank back into the seat and let James pick at his scrambled eggs, and hopefully all this fucking awful feeling - knowing Kate hurt - hopefully that got to him.

Because Colin couldn't do that to Kate.

"Dad?" she muttered, confused by her father hovering above her.

"Hey, sorry to wake you, honey, but I'm headed to the mainland. Wanted to say good bye."

Kate grunted and tried to sit up, tangled in the blankets on the couch, practically falling into him. Jim caught her with a rumbling laugh and patted her back, and she found her feet and stood, launching herself into his arms.

He gruffed something and clutched her back, a faint desperation to it that made her heart speed up. "Dad. Why? Why are you leaving?"

"Hey, what's all this?" he said, patting her back again. She wriggled closer, her father, her dad, the man who had patiently tucked her into bed every night because her mother was still working, still at the office, his voice gentle and never begrudging, answering any and every question she lobbed his way just so she could prolong her bedtime.

"Are you - leaving us?" she mumbled.

"I'm doing a supply run with Reese," he said fiercely.

"It's not - is it safe?"

"Of course, honey. It's safe. One of the guys is ferrying us to Nantucket and we'll get what we can there, send it back with the boat. Then Reese and I will take the ferry to the mainland and pick up stuff for you all here. It's quite safe."

"But she was heading for you. She was trying to get to you and I-"

"No, no, Katie. Stop this. None of this. I'm superfluous right now and I want to do what I can to help."

"No, you're not," she cried out, clutching him where she hadn't loosened her embrace. She heard herself, how she was starting to fall apart, and she didn't know why; she had no idea why. "You're my dad; I always want you here."

And then he kissed her cheek fast, gripped her by the shoulders and pulled away. "Rick knows how best to keep you. Not me anymore, shouldn't be me. But this? I can do this."

"Daddy," she whined, sinking back into him like her son did when he was overtired.

"Pouting is beneath you, Katie. Chin up." He chucked his hand under her chin just like he used to do when she was eight and failing miserably at ice skating. Every damn time she fell, he picked her up and said try again.

She still sucked at ice skating; she had yet to stay up longer than five minutes, but he was right. She got back up.

She straightened her spine. "Dad, you still are needed. Don't go because you think Castle is the only thing I see. You're a constant help with James and my kid really adores you. He goes to you for comfort, you know."

"Oh, honey, I know you see - you see too much. But Rick really is the only one allowed to see you back. No, don't look at me like that. It's just fine, it's how it has to be. You're so vibrant around him. I'm grateful. I'm more grateful than I have words to say. Now let me do what I can to be part of it."

Her father kissed her forehead and then turned around and left her alone in the living room.

She blinked and glanced around at the blank space, the empty walls, and then out the broad windows to the verdant lawn and the painfully blue sky.

She wanted to be - to get back up off her ass and keep trying, even if she was abjectly miserable at it.

Kate scraped her hands through her hair.

She wanted Colin Hunt not to matter, his betrayal to mean nothing. More than that, she wanted to go home.

Where was Castle? Where was her son?