Greetings, comrades! Sorry about the wait! I couldn't come up with a good enough ending in time. I hope you're ready to read, because this is the longest chapter in the whole story. It wasn't intentional, but all the action that happens in here called for it. But, anyway, I hope you love this chapter!
Mr. Krabs was still in the manager's office of The Krusty Towers. As he happily counted his money, he glanced out the window. The glass was so dirty, he could barely see outside. The crab put his dollars away and stepped into the main lobby.
"Mr. Squidward, front and center!" He barked. Squidward, who was sitting at the front desk, sluggishly got up from his seat and walked over to him.
"Squidward, I'd like to spruce up the hotel before me Grandpa Redbeard gets back. I want to show him that we kept his hotel in ship-shape while he was away. So, I want you to tell SpongeBob and Patrick to clean all the windows outside the hotel, starting with the top floor."
"But, Mr. Krabs-" Squidward pleaded.
"No buts, Mr. Squidward. Have SpongeBob and Patrick get on that right away!" He turned and (you guessed it) disappeared into the office. Squidward called the two bellhops over from the employee locker room.
"Mr. Krabs wants you guys to clean all the windows on the outside of the hotel, staring with the top floor." He paused for a minute.
"You know, now that I hear myself say it, I don't think you can do it?" Squidward said with a bored look on his face. SpongeBob laughed.
"Nonsense, Squidward! Patrick and I can do anything you ask us to do!" He replied. Squidward gave in.
"Fine. Here are some sponges and buckets. Now, get up to the top floor and start cleaning!" The pair each grabbed a sponge and bucket from Squidward. In their excitement, they skipped around him, singing.
"We're gonna wash windows! We're gonna wash windows! Washing windows, washing windows, washing wind-"
"Shut your half-wit pieholes! Listen. When you get to the 14th floor, leave that tenant's window alone. Got it?" Squidward asked, pinching their mouths closed.
"Don't worry, Squidward! We won't let you down!" SpongeBob replied, breaking away from Squidward's grasp. Patrick broke free as well and followed SpongeBob to the staircase.
"ESCALATORS!" They screamed with joy. Once they were out of earshot, Squidward groaned.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
On the Roof of the Hotel...
SpongeBob and Patrick tied ropes around their waists and lowered themselves carefully down the side. They started to clean the windows as instructed, and eventually reached the 14th floor. When they reached their guest's window, SpongeBob tapped his friend's shoulder.
"Patrick, Squidward said to avoid this guy's window, remember?" The sponge asked. Patrick squinted at the window in question.
"But SpongeBob, there's a speck on this window! I know what Squidward said, but this is a top-rate hotel, and out our customer deserves top-of-the-line service! I need to rid the glass of that speck!" Patrick dunked his sponge into the bucket of water and scrubbed at the speck. It wouldn't leave.
"Stupid speck! It's on the inside of the window! I'll take care of this!" Patrick placed the sponge back in the bucket and knocked on the glass. Their sleeping guest opened his eyes for a second, then shut them again. Patrick knocked on the window again. This time, Tattletale got up in a rage and opened the window harshly.
"What do you want?" He questioned Patrick angrily. The starfish stared back at him, slightly surprised.
"Well, you have a speck on your window." Patrick said nervously.
"So what? Why would I look out the window, anyway?!" The Strangler responded.
"Umm, so you can look out the window?" The bellhop guessed dumbly.
"AHH!" The fish yelled in frustration and slammed the window shut. He charged into the elevator and rode it all the way down to the lobby. He approached the front desk where Squidward was and worked him over (this time, it was not limited to his face). The Strangler, having released his fury, went back up to the 14th floor (because where else could he go?).
At the 14th Floor...
When Tattletale got back to his room, it was freezing cold. He shivered and approached the radiator. After making an attempt to adjust it, he discovered that the heater was broken. He dialed the lobby (shocking, huh?).
In the Lobby...
Squidward picked up the phone normally, since his efforts to avoid getting hurt the last time had failed. He wasn't surprised to hear Tattletale shouting at him on the other end.
"THE RADIATOR IN MY ROOM IS BROKEN! COME UP AND FIX IT! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES!" With that, the Strangler hung up.
"Five minutes?!" Squidward cried in despair. He glanced around the lobby to make sure he was alone.
"I'll never get to his room in time! And stingy Mr. Krabs won't let employees use the elevator." He looked at the elevator, thinking.
"Well, I might as well try first." Squidward tiptoed to the elevator (he had covered the doors with silver duct tape to cover the damage from before) and pushed the button on the side. When the doors opened, Squidward shouted. There, standing in the elevator, was none other than Mr. Krabs. The crab cleared his throat.
"And what might you be doing, Mr. Squidward?" He asked in a stern tone. Mr. Krabs's employee just stuttered.
"Well, our guest... umm, asked me to fix the... uhh, radiator. He only gave me five minutes to get up there, and... well, it would take too long to climb the stairs, so... can I use the elevator?" Squidward asked, even though he knew what the answer would be.
"No. The elevator is for guests only! No exceptions! Now, get up there! You have a lot of climbing to do!" Mr. Krabs disappeared as the elevator doors shut. Squidward entered the stairwell, defeated. All he saw was a flight of at least a thousand stairs. He sighed. He walked to the first stair, and noticed a button on the wall above the edge of the banister.
"Hmm... what's this?" He pressed the button and gasped as the stairs began to move at a very rapid speed.
"How do I get on this thing-?" He had barely put one foot on a moving stair when he was instantly pulled onto it.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he was whisked all the way to the 14th floor. He was so busy hanging on for dear life that he didn't have any time to make an easy dismount. Once he reached the 14th floor exit, he was flung off the escalator. He crashed through the staircase door and faceplanted on the hallway carpet. He slid to a stop at Tattletale's feet (he had been waiting in the hallway for him). The Strangler pressed a button on the stopwatch he was holding.
"Good job! And with only ten seconds left to spare!" Tattletale exclaimed.
"Great..." Squidward wearily mumbled into the carpet. He got up and followed the green fish into his suite. Squidard examined the radiator.
"Well, let me check the basement." He walked out of the room as the Strangler went back to bed. On his way back to the staircase, SpongeBob and Patrick came over to him.
"Hi, Squidward! Whatcha doin'?" The eager little sponge asked cheerfully.
"I'm fixing that guy's radiator. Did you two finish cleaning those windows?" Squidward replied.
"Yeah!" SpongeBob said excitedly. Squidward peered around them, confused.
"What happened to the sponges and buckets?" The squid inquired. He and SpongeBob turned to Patrick, who let out a loud burp.
"Patrick ate them." SpongeBob answered nervously. Squidward glared at him.
"Well, you didn't say that Patrick couldn't do that!" The bellhop retorted in their defense.
"Whatever. Well, I'm gonna go to the basement now-" Squidward was interrupted by Patrick.
"Wait! I know how to make up for annoying our guest! I'll fix his heater!" He rushed to the stairs. SpongeBob followed.
"Patrick, wait!" The sponge cried. Squidward chased them. He knew that the Stangler will tear him apart if they annoyed him again.
"Morons, don't!" All three of them were running down the escalator to the basement. Patrick got there first. He grabbed a wrench and hit the pipe leading up to Tattletale's room as hard as he could and the noise vibrated upward. Squidward was at the entrance to the basement when he saw Patrick hit the pipe. Realizing the bang was going to wake their guest up, he sprinted up the escalator back up to Tattletale's room, grabbing a handful of pillows from a linen closet on the way. He jumped on top of the radiator with the pillows just as the loud bang reached it. There was only a muffled "thump." Squidward calmed down and let out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, steam spewed out of the radiator, causing a high-pitched whistle. Panicking, Squidward unscrewed the nozzle off the heater; even disconnected, it still whistled. He looked over to the Strangler. He was starting to come out of his slumber. Squidward quickly stuffed the nozzle underneath the pile of pillows until it quieted down. He relaxed. Just then, SpongeBob appeared in the doorway, furious.
"SO, A FINE KETTLE OF FISH! HERE I WORK MYSELF DOWN TO THE SKIN AND BONES TRYING TO KEEP THIS GUY ASLEEP! AND WHAT DO YOU DO?! BLOW WHISTLES! JUST WHEN I GOT THINGS SO QUIET, YOU CAN HEAR A PIN DROP, YOU BUST IN HERE AND YOU BUST OUT WITH A WHISTLE AND YOU SNAFU THE WHOLE WORKS! HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS REASONABLE DO YOU EXPECT A GUY TO GET HIS SLUMBER, WHEN A GOOF LIKE YOU GOES AROUND MAKING NOISES LIKE A ONE-MAN FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION?! HE NEEDS PEACE AND QUIET! IT'S POSITIVELY OUTRAGEOUS!" As SpongeBob ranted, the Strangler woke up completely, even angrier than he had been for his entire stay. His eyes were red with fury. Squidward, who had been trying to shush SpongeBob up, sprinted as fast as he could down to the lobby and rang the bell to call SpongeBob and Patrick over. They arrived promptly.
"Yes, sir!" They saluted.
"For very meritorious service, you are herewith promoted to the position of manager. Take over." Squidward changed uniforms with SpongeBob and shoved him and Patrick behind the counter while he stood next to the desk, now dressed as a bellhop. The Tattletale Strangler came up to the three of them. He seemingly got ready to punch SpongeBob, but turned and punched Squidward instead. He flew through the air and crashed onto the floor. SpongeBob and Patrick were too happy about their promotions to notice.
"Wow! We were promoted to desk clerks in less than five seconds!" SpongeBob said with glee.
"Yeah! Now we get to, uhh..." Patrick fell asleep and drooled. At that moment, Grandpa Redbeard returned from his vacation.
"Ahoy, Grandson!" He called. Mr. Krabs came out of the office.
"Ahoy, Grandpa! Did you enjoy your vacation?" He asked. Grandpa Redbeard chuckled heartily.
"Eugene, me boy! It was the best vacation I've had in a long time! How was everything here at The Krusty Towers?"
"Oh, it went just fine! We didn't have any problems at all, right Mr. Squidward?" Mr. Krabs asked. Squidward only groaned. Tattletale spoke next.
"I believe I'll be checking out now. I've had enough relaxation for a while. If someone could just fetch my bags, I'll be on my way." SpongeBob jumped over Squidward (who was laying on the floor) and took the escalator to get the Strangler's bags (and yes, he shouted "ESCALATORS!" on the way up). He was back in just three minutes. SpongeBob put down the luggage he was carrying and stepped back behind the counter.
"Now, if you could just sign out, Mr-" SpongeBob read the name on the hotel register.
"Tattletale Strangler." He handed the fish a pen, not realizing the name he had just said. After signing the book, Tattletale was picking up his bags when SpongeBob screamed.
"THE TATTLETALE STRANGLER?! AHHHHH!" He ran around in circles, then out the front door. Patrick awoke from the screaming and freaked out (he had managed to hear the name).
"THE TATTLETALE STRANGLER?! I GOT TO TURN MYSELF IN AGAIN!" The starfish busted through the wall next to the front door and went to the Bikini Bottom Jail, where he stuffed himself into an empty cell.
The End
Well, there you have it! If anybody out there thought this sounded like a Classic Looney Tunes episode, then let me just say "Congratulations!" :D This entire story was loosely structured around the episode "A Pest in the House" with Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd. If you've never seen it, look it up online; it's hilarious! XD Also, this is the first story I've done where the chapters got longer each time (I wasn't even trying for that)! Like I promised, Squidward can go to the hospital now for his injuries and everything will return back to normal (just as soon as he recovers and Patrick gets released from jail again). ;) Please favorite and review! Until next time, "That's All, Folks!"