Calenmiriel stood on a balcony overlooking the main part of Rivendell. It was now October, and she had been there for a month. She had spent the time getting to know the trees and the animals of the forest, and had climbed the rocks by the waterfall. More than that, she had met and become the friend of many of the Elves of Rivendell. Arwen had befriended her, and they had talked of many things. Elrond was very wise and knowing, much like Thranduil, and he would sometimes let her look at his collection of ancient scrolls and texts, if she was in the mood. There was also Erestor, one of Elrond's advisors, who would willingly talk with her about news of the world and things that had happened long ago. She had been taught these things before, but Erestor almost always had a different view of the events, and it was enlightening to hear his account.

And then there were Elrond's twin sons, Elladan and Elrohir. More often than not they were in the mountains surrounding Rivendell, hunting goblins to avenge their mother. She had been traveling in the mountains when a group of goblins had attacked her and wounded her with a poisoned arrow. All of Elrond's healing had not been able to save her, and so she had had to sail across the sea to Valinor to avoid dying. The twins had never been able to forget their mother's injury at the hands of goblins, and so they hunted them down and killed them.

Calenmiriel had asked many times to accompany them on their hunts, but each time was refused, either by the twins themselves or by Elrond. The last time she had asked, Elrond had said, "Do not be eager to fight and take the lives of others on a whim, young one. That can only lead to evil and misery. My sons have reason to fight the goblins. You do not. I know you only wish to prove yourself in battle, but do not rush the fight. Your time will come, sooner than you think, and then you will have no choice but to fight. Be patient, and do not look for trouble where there is none."

As she thought of Elrond's words, she couldn't help but notice that his last ones were the same as the last words her father had given to her. And so she had stopped asking to go on the hunts, and had instead watched as the twins came and went. When she had first met them, she had found them near impossible to tell apart; she always had trouble knowing which was Elladan and which was Elrohir. But then as she watched them, she noticed little things about their behavior: even though they both carried both bows and swords, Elladan would lead an attack with his bow and then Elrohir would come from the back with his sword; rarely did they ever reverse the attack.

When Elladan wasn't fighting the goblins, he would spend time in the library reading the scrolls, or he would sit in the Hall of Fire and sing quietly to himself or just sit and think. Elrohir, on the other hand, preferred roaming the valley, climbing the trees and rocks, and hunting deer and boar when a large feast was to be had. As with Arwen, Calenmiriel tried to spend time with them, getting to know them and becoming their friend. She also began to notice small differences in their appearances, such as the scars that Elladan had on his arm and face, and that Elrohir's eyes were a light blue whereas Elladan's were gray like his sister's and father's.

Once, Calenmiriel was sitting with Arwen on one of the balconies, talking about anything that came to mind, when the twins returned once again from hunting goblins. This time, though, something was different: one of them was supporting the other, as if he had been injured. From the balcony, she was too far away to tell which one was injured, but she felt a pang of worry in her heart for whomever it was. "Look," she said to Arwen, who had been examining a flower at her feet. "Your brothers return, and one is injured." Arwen looked up quickly, said, "It's Elladan," and then rose to go to them. Calenmiriel followed her.

Elrond reached his sons before the two women reached them, and had already assessed Elladan's wound to find any poisons or enchantments. There were none, and so he was wrapping the injured thigh with bandages when Calenmiriel and Arwen arrived. Arwen aided her father, and Calenmiriel took the weight of Elladan as he leaned on her, giving Elrohir a rest. Then once the wound was bandaged, she and Elrohir took Elladan up to his room to lie down on his bed and rest. Arwen stayed with her brother to tend to anything he needed, while Elrohir, Elrond, and Calenmiriel went to Elrond's rooms to talk of what had happened on this last hunt.

"They ambushed us," Elrohir began after taking a draught of faelnirv, an Elvish liquor. "They knew we were coming again, and so when we began our usual attack, more came from behind Elladan and attacked him. At the same time, more came from behind me, but I sensed then their trickery and was able to avoid any major injury. Needless to say, Elladan was not as lucky."

"Did you kill all of them?" Elrond asked. "After they ambushed you?"

"Yes, we killed all of them. I made sure of that." He set the glass down, gently. If Calenmiriel hadn't been paying close attention to his body language, she would have missed the extreme effort it seemed to take him to set the glass down without breaking it. As it was, he clenched his now-empty fist so tightly that his knuckles were white. Elrond also noticed it, and said, "I think it would be best if you were alone for a while." Elrohir nodded curtly and left the room.

Elrond sighed. "Sometimes I fear my sons lose sight of why they fight, Elladan especially. They run into danger for no good reason."

"Do they not fight for vengeance," I asked. "To have justice for their mother? Is that not a noble reason?"

"Noble enough when they go out in search of the orc that sped the arrow on its way. Not so noble when the orc is dead and still they fight."

"They fight to protect their people now. They do not wish the same fate upon their sister, or their father."

"And that too is noble. But I fear that is not their real reasoning. That is only an excuse they have readied if questioned."

"If not that, then what do you believe is their reason for fighting?"

Elrond shook his head and turned to the window. Then he said, "I do not know about Elrohir, but I fear Elladan wishes too much to be reunited with his mother."

He paused. She spoke hesitantly into the silence. "What do you mean?"

"You know of what I speak. Today, I am sure Elladan must have sensed the orcs coming from behind him. If I were to ask Elrohir, he would confirm my suspicions."

"You are saying that Elladan is trying to be killed?"

"I am saying that he is trying very hard to become mortally wounded, so as to make the trip over the seas. It would be ignoble for him to injure himself. He would be seen as a coward and weak. Therefore he goes into small battles against orcs and lets them ambush him, hoping that he will be seriously injured. But there is no need to fight these battles. The border is safe. He fights unnecessarily and this is what happens." He clenched his hand and placed it on the windowsill. "I worry about him. Would you talk to him, Calenmiriel? You may be able to discover what is in his mind and what his thoughts are. It may be he would more freely talk to you, his friend, than to me, his father."

She nodded. "I will do this for you. You are not the only one to worry for Elladan." She placed her hand on his, briefly, then left.

Calenmiriel entered Elladan's room after checking that he was awake and alone. "How are you?" she asked as she walked to the foot of his bed.

"Better," he answered. "I was lucky that the blade was not poisoned."

"Your father still would have been able to heal you. He has great skill."

"Yes, great skill. But it still was not enough to save Mother."

She looked at him sadly. "Do you still pine for her?"

"Do not my brother and sister and father still pine for her?"

"Not as much as you, I fear."

"You fear?" He frowned. "What is there to fear from sorrow?"

"Many things." She looked down at her hands, then back up, locking gazes with him. "They still pine, but they do not let their longing for her determine their actions."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that perhaps your longing for her has grown so much as to lead you to risk your life when it is unnecessary to do so."

"I fight to protect the people of Rivendell!" he interrupted angrily. "I would not have the same harm come to them that came to her."

"No, you wouldn't," she replied, allowing a little of her own anger to creep into her voice. "You would have that harm come to you, so that you may join your mother in the Undying Lands." He was shocked into silence. "You say you fight for your people, that your reasons for fighting are selfless and pure, but I see through your lies. You fight for yourself. You fight hoping that you will be mortally wounded, that even your father's skill in healing could not help you. Then you would be forced to take a ship to Valinor, with great sorrow of course, but in your heart you would be rejoicing. You would be with your mother again."

"You do not know of what you speak," he said through clenched teeth, gripping the bedsheet with fists. "You have never felt sorrow at the death of a loved one, sorrow that fills you with so much anger as to believe that you would die of it. I tried to let go of the anger, I tried. I found the orc that shot the arrow, and I killed him with Elrohir. And the anger left, but emptiness took its place. I had no purpose after killing it. I had no meaning."

"Then you should have told someone! You have a brother, a sister, and a father still. They would have listened. They would have given you purpose. You wish to die to see the one who is dead because she makes you feel alive. But those who are living see you wandering in search of the dead, and to them you are dying already. Do not die for the dead. Live for the living."

"I will not be told what to do by one with so little experience of the world." Elladan turned his head from her. "If she would be heard, she should find those who are foolish enough to listen to her premature wisdom." Calenmiriel suppressed the shout she felt building inside her and turned away, striding quickly from the room. She nearly collided with Elrohir, who had heard raised voices and was coming to investigate.

"How is my brother?" he asked, taking her by the hand.

"He will be well when he decides to start living for what is to come instead of dying for what has once been."

"What do you mean?"

She just shook her hand and gripped his hand tightly with both of hers. "Run with me."

"But Elladan-"

"Needs his rest. Come." She tugged on his hand more, and he looked away from his brother's room into her eyes. "Run with me." He nodded, and then they ran. She led him to the waterfall, stopping only once they reached the pool of water that formed at the foot of the falls. Calenmiriel laughed, then, and said, "Now I will give whatever answers you would have of me."

"First," said Elrohir. "Let me show you something." She nodded, and he began to jump across the pool on stones just visible beneath the surface of the water. She followed him, the water cool against her bare feet that had become a little raw after running across grass and leaf. They passed under the waterfall itself, and Elrohir paused beneath it, letting the water run over his head and shoulders. Calenmiriel did the same, and laughed again. Then he led the way into a cave behind the falls.

The cave was illuminated by the sunlight that shone through a hole towards the roof, and there was a circle tall pillars that reached to the roof, twined around with flowering vines. In the center of the pillars was a shrine with a statue of an Elf-woman as its centerpiece. At the statue's feet lay a silver-gray dress and a book. "My mother brought me to this place when I was young," Elrohir said, standing before the shrine. "When she died, I brought the dress, which was my favorite to see her in, and the book, which was the one she always read to me. On days I miss her especially, I come here and sit at her feet like I used to and read our book. I can feel her presence here, like a warmth that fills the cavern and wraps around me like her arms did."

"I'm honored that you would bring me to see it," said Calenmiriel. She moved to pick up the book, then looked to him for permission; he nodded his assent.

"It is a nice place for conversation when you don't want others overhearing." He backed away from the statue and sat on the ground, leaning against a pillar. "Now tell me. What were you and Elladan arguing about? Your voices were loud for a friendly conversation."

She set the book back down in its spot gently, then sat down against the pillar next to his. "I confronted him about his actions and the motivation for those actions. I believe I must not have been too far from the mark with my accusations, otherwise he would not have become as angry as he did."

"What motivation are you referring to? What did you accuse him of?"

"I believe that Elladan is taking risks where none are necessary, and I believe this recklessness is driven by sorrow and longing for your mother. He runs into danger needlessly in the hopes of being so wounded that he must leave Middle Earth and journey to the Undying Lands where he will be reunited with his mother."

"What proof do you have of this?"

"His anger is proof enough, but if you require more, answer me this: shouldn't Elladan have sensed the orcs coming from behind him? Never has an orc crept up on an Elf without being noticed. Lord Elrond also realized this. It was he who brought the matter to my attention, and it was he who asked me to talk to Elladan in the belief that Elladan would respond to my questions with more candor because I am his friend. We both know that did not go as planned."

Elrohir looked away, his face troubled. Then he looked back at her, brow furrowed. "You are right. The orcs should never have been able to ambush him. In truth I have long suspected his reckless bravery was something more dangerous, but I did not say anything for fear of losing a brother and a friend. Now that I know that I am not the only one who sees that in him, I am ready to speak to him about it. But I do not know how we can help him."

Calenmiriel looked around. "Does he know about this place?"

"No. Mother never showed him because he always preferred staying indoors and reading to roaming the outdoors."

"You should bring him here. Maybe he will find peace if he knows where to find her when he needs her."

He nodded. "I will bring him. Thank you, for being honest with me about my brother, and for caring enough to try to help." He stood then, and held out his hand to help her to her feet. "There's one last thing I want to show you before we return to the company of others." He did not relinquish her hand as he led her to the far wall of the cave. What appeared to be merely a shadow was in fact a large crack in the cave wall, wide enough to allow them to slip through into the dark beyond. Then he let go of her hand and said, "Now you will have to climb. There are ledges and crevices enough, but be careful. It is a long fall and a hard landing even when you have gone only a fourth of the way up."

They climbed up the wall of the crack, the light below them getting smaller and smaller, the light above growing brighter and brighter. Then Elrohir swung his body through the hole at the top, and reached down to help Calenmiriel the rest of the way up. When her eyes had adjusted to the sunlight again, she saw that they were on a wide ledge next to the waterfall, overlooking the pool beneath. He had hold of her hand again as he said, "I discovered this ledge by myself. On warm evenings such as this I like to jump into the pool from here. The feeling as you fall towards the water is like nothing I've ever experienced before." He looked at her, a huge smile transforming his usually somber features into ones of joy. "Would you like to try it?"

She couldn't contain her own smile as she peered over the edge. Then she looked back at him and nodded. "Together?" she asked, raising her arm to show their joined hands. He nodded, and backed up from the edge.

"We have to get a running start first," he said. "To get out far enough from the wall that we don't hit it as we fall. Follow my lead." She matched him step for step as they ran the short distance to the edge. They jumped at exactly the same moment, their movements matching perfectly, as though they had practiced it a thousand times. Calenmiriel laughed as she fell, the feeling of weightlessness making her giddy. She felt as though she were flying. Then they hit the water, and the deep pool cushioned their landing. Breaking the surface, they swam to the shore and pulled themselves out of the water. She laughed again as they stood on the shore, wringing most of the water from their clothes and hair. Then a clear bell tone rang through the air, and Elrohir said, "Time for dinner. I hope we won't be late."

"We won't be if we race," Calenmiriel replied, a challenge in her eyes.

"I would most certainly win. I know the short-cuts better than anyone."

"I would most certainly win, for though you have short-cuts on your side, I have speed on mine."

"We will see who the winner is when we reach the end."

"Will you accept the courtyard before the Hall of Fire as the finish point?"

"I will." They nodded and he counted down to zero. On zero, they began to run. Their paths diverged soon after, and Calenmiriel hastened to the courtyard. When she neared the finish point, she saw Elrohir sitting on a bench, reading. As she approached him, she noticed he was also already changed from the wet clothes he had been wearing before. She slowed to a stop before him and looked at him in wonder. "There is some hidden trickery at work here," she said. "How else could you already be changed and ready for dinner?"

"As I said," Elrohir said with a smile as he looked up from his book. "I know the short-cuts better than anyone."

"Well, perhaps someday you will be kind enough to show me these short-cuts."

"Perhaps."

"Excuse me. I must change for dinner."

"I'll come with you part of the way. My brother's room is on the way to yours, and I want to stop in to see if he will be coming to dinner." She nodded, and together they walked the paths of Rivendell.

The next week, when Elladan's wound was fully healed, he and Elrohir made plans to go far afield, hunting orcs and gathering information from the Rangers and the beasts of the wild. Elrohir assured Elrond, Arwen, and Calenmiriel that they were not just going to hunt orcs; they had a purpose to their journey besides fighting. "I will watch over him," he said. "I will not let him be reckless." Their day of departure arrived and the five of them stood near the arch that marked the way to the wild. The twins stood side by side, each holding the reins to their own horse. Elrond said a few words of parting, wishing them safe travels and a quick return. Arwen hugged each of them and bade them be safe as they traveled.

Then Calenmiriel stepped forward and took Elladan's free hand in both of her own. Gripping his hand tightly, she said, "Be safe. Do not run heedless into danger when there is no need." His mouth tightened into a hard line but he nodded, and she kissed his cheek lightly. Then she turned to Elrohir and took his hand as well, looking into his eyes. "Be safe. Take care to watch over those who are closest to you, and remember home when you are far away under strange stars." He nodded and kissed the back of her hand; she gave him a kiss on his cheek. Then she drew away and the twins mounted their horses. Elrond, Arwen, and Calenmiriel stood silently as they watched the two brothers ride away, waiting until they were only specks in the distance before turning away.

Calenmiriel left the company of the other two at the courtyard before the Hall of Fire and ran to the cave behind the waterfall. She would spend much time there while the twins were away, reading the book that belonged to their mother many times over, until they returned towards the end of October, with news that would change her life.