A little boy with messy curls and big brown eyes is wandering in the dirty streets of this world, a world where children with no family are doomed to remain poor and hungry or disappear forever. That's the only world Roland has ever known.
He thinks he had a family once. He knows that someone must have brought him into this world. He must have had a mama and a papa. He remembers nothing about them though. He only knows that children do have families, because he saw Lizzie a while ago crying and crying until she couldn't shed more tears. Her papa had left her near the entrance of their hideout and even though Roland approached her immediately, she didn't raise her head to look at him until the tears had dried on her face.
Since then Roland tries to notice how a mama or a papa are with their children. Whenever he hears a scream or sees a tear stained face, he stands up, ready to take action. There could be another child left alone on the street like Lizzie. They have to take every child in. They have to protect them.
Alfie, an older kid, one of those who give them orders, has scolded him for his behavior more than once.
"Stop trying to bring every helpless creature here. We won't even have space for ourselves if more pathetic kids like you learn about our hideout. Do your job and bring only food and money." He snarls as he takes the food Roland has managed to get during the day and searches in the younger boy's pockets for all the coins he can find.
Alfie's clothes are never torn and his hair is never greasy. He sleeps on a mattress and keeps his head high in every occasion. Most of the children are afraid of him, but Roland isn't. He's afraid that he might end up having no shelter though, so he lets him take everything.
He's certain he's going to starve one of those nights, but Ayla is always there to pass him a bowl of porridge and some water. Her stare to Alfie is reprimanding and Alfie shrugs with a disgusting smirk on his face. Sometimes he pulls Ayla to the mattress with him and caresses her hair, holding her to his chest. Roland has noticed that, so he gladly takes what Ayla offers him. He knows Alfie won't hurt her.
Roland is old enough to understand now. Someone has protected him from the world outside since he was as tiny as those two boys who are the most recent addition to the place they call home. He has a feeling it was Tobin that took him in. He's a kind boy, strict when he has to be, but so very kind. He's always calm and Roland admires the way he uses his bow. Sometimes he watches him in astonishment when he teaches some older boys how to shoot arrows. Roland wants to be just like him when he grows up. He hopes Tobin will choose to teach him as well when he gets older.
Until then he takes his usual place on the street every day, waiting for people to take pity on him and pass him some food or, if he's lucky enough, some coins. It's the only thing he's supposed to do and no matter how it doesn't feel right, he has no other choice. It has already begun getting cold outside and he has to work if he wants to keep his place in the hideout for the winter.
Ayla approaches him with a warm smile on her face.
She places her hand on his shoulder and tells him "Why don't you take a break and go eat something with Lizzie?"
Roland looks at her unsure. "Where is Alfie?" He asks in a small voice, in case Alfie is around and can see what's happening.
"He's sick. He had to stay inside today, so I'm here instead. Come on, go to your friend. But don't be late, okay?" Ayla's reassuring smile doesn't reach her eyes, but Roland takes what he can get. He nods and takes off, running through the narrow streets until he reaches the main roads with shops and taverns on the side. He knows exactly where Lizzie stands every day.
The girl's face breaks into a grin when she sees him. They sit on an empty wooden box beside the road and enjoy the rare occasion of being able to observe the people and the world around them without having to work. They dare looking directly at people's faces, something they're not allowed to do when they're asking them for food or money. Roland has broken that rule more than once though. He's realized that people give him more when he looks into their eyes, when he tries to beg them that way. It's different now; they just observe.
There's a man unloading some barrels from a carriage. He's a few feet away, but Roland can smell his breath from where he sits. He smells like Alfie does some nights, when he's more forceful and threatens to beat any of the younger children who hide food from him. Roland doesn't like looking at this man, so he turns his head away.
There are two kids around Alfie's and Ayla's age, sitting nearby. They're talking with each other and smile. Roland notices something in their expressions he can't comprehend. Could this be what people call happiness?
He averts his eyes again. This time they land on a beautiful light brown horse stopping in front of a tavern. A dark haired woman gets off the horse quickly and a man ties its reins nearby before he follows her inside the tavern. Roland doesn't see much of the man, but a feeling of comfort reaches his heart. His hair is blonde and he carries a bow. He reminds him of Tobin and he fights the urge to run to him into the tavern.
The minutes pass and once Lizzie and Roland finish their bread, a boy around Tobin's age appears on the main road.
"His clothes are strange" Lizzie says and Roland has to agree.
The boy runs into the woman who had been on the brown horse earlier. It looks like they're arguing. The woman pushes the boy towards the tavern's door and walks away. The boy runs after her and calls her 'mom'. Roland can hear them now. The woman says something about another mom of his. Roland's face scrunches up in confusion. How come that boy has two mamas and he has none?
The woman sounds like she doesn't want the boy who calls her mom. Roland is ready to get up and go to him, tell him to come with them to their hideout. But then woman and boy walk away together, even though they're still arguing. Roland follows them with his eyes until they turn in a corner and wonders why the man who reminded him of Tobin didn't go with them. Something in those people stirs his insides and he thinks it's time for him to return to his work.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur and Roland finds himself on the cold floor of the hideout, lying beside Lizzie. His last thoughts before sleep takes him are of the familiar man and the boy who had two mamas.
He wakes up by a blinding light. Have they discovered their hideout? He sits up and it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the daylight. He realizes that it's day outside and the panic he feels is overwhelming. He should already be out in the streets, working. Working until it was night again and Alfie took all his food and coins again leaving him to sleep in his usual cold spot in the hideout. But this is not the hideout.
He looks around hesitantly and feels the fluffy blankets that surround him. He's not in the hideout. He's in his papa's tent. They haven't been living here for a while, but they're back and their tent is still where they've left it. He's here now and the familiar scent of the forest reaches him, comforting like the fluffy blankets.
The entrance of the tent opens and Little John peaks inside. Roland stretches his arms and Little John places him on his lap. Roland's hands circle Little John's neck and he doesn't want to let him go.
"Where is papa?" He asks.
Little John holds him tightly and tells him that his papa will be there soon. He tells him to not be scared.
"I'm not scared" Roland whispers, because he shouldn't be scared. He can't be scared. He remembers a life where he didn't have his papa and now his papa will be here soon. He has to stay strong, but he can't stop the first tears that wet his cheeks.
His papa appears in a cloud of purple smoke along with Regina. Roland lunges forward and his papa lifts him up and squeezes him. They sway together for a moment, just the two of them.
"Papa" Roland says in his papa's ear just to say it, just to make sure it's real.
"My boy" His papa says against his hair and Roland cries again, because he's happy. And he knows it now. He knows what happiness is.
Roland turns his head towards Regina and she has tears in her eyes as well. He extends his hand and she takes it, joining their embrace. She leaves a soft kiss on his hair and one on his damp cheek and then her head falls on his papa's shoulder and one of his papa's arms goes around her.
"When will mama be back?" Roland asks tentatively. His mama hasn't returned to their forest with them yet and he misses her.
He sees his papa and Regina exchanging a look before his papa answers. "Soon, my boy. Now why don't we sit there and have some juice?"
Roland nods and his papa takes him near the fire. Regina disappears for a while and comes back with juice for all of them. He starts sipping from his glass, but stops abruptly, almost spitting a big gulp of the orange liquid out of his mouth.
"It tastes weird." He complains. His papa and Regina exchange a look again.
"That's because it's a special juice. It will make you big and strong." Regina tells him. Regina has always been good to him. She has always played with him, read him stories and let him have ice cream. So, he believes her.
"Big and strong like papa?" He asks and receives a smile from both of them.
"Yes, like papa." Regina answers, caressing his cheek, while his papa rubs soothing circles on his back.
Roland notices that their smiles aren't happy smiles. But grown-ups are sometimes difficult to understand, so he dismisses his worries and takes his glass in his hands again.
The two worlds are separate in his mind now, although he can still feel tired and hopeless from staying out in the street for too long. But his papa and Regina are there to take care of him now and his mama will be there soon. He drinks the rest of the bitter juice with a grimace of disgust.
"Where is Henry?" He asks once he's done with his juice. He hasn't seen the boy a lot of times. Just once when the curse broke –Roland doesn't understand what that meant, but that's what everyone was calling the uncomfortable feeling of remembering too much in only a second– and once the previous night when he strolled into Granny's diner with his papa and Regina and met Henry and the others. He doesn't remember much after that, but he guesses he fell asleep and his papa carried him to their camp.
"Henry is with his other mama." Regina tells him and her hand that doesn't rest on his knee reaches his papa's hand and squeezes it. "But you can see him tomorrow. Okay?"
Roland nods and smiles at her. She leaves soon after to be with Henry, but his papa stays with him until the night comes. He tucks him in the fluffy blankets and lies beside him. He tells him stories about a castle and a little knight and about a beautiful queen who has the good kind of magic.
This time his last thoughts before sleep takes him are about the next day, about the time he'll spend with his papa, Regina and Henry. He almost jolts completely awake from excitement, but his exhaustion is stronger. His eyes droop closed with the comforting feeling of his papa's hand on his own.