A/N Hey everybody thanks for reading the first chapter, hope you liked it. The reason I'm writing this story is I couldn't help thinking what would happen if Shay stayed. Just for the record this story is Shay x Hope amd the only reason she wasn't listed is because I couldn't find her in the character list. Of all the Assassin's I killed in Rouge she was the one that had the most emotional impact on me. And the scene at the end... there could have been something there if he stayed. Finally a big shout out to Mariape getting a fav on my first fanfic ment a lot and on the first day too. Any way to the story!

Hope's POV

I was on a trip to New York, checking to see how my gangs were doing. They weren't full-fledged Assassin's but they proved helpful on many occasions so it paid to keep them up to shape. I was making my final stop; a pub that served as a supply front for the Assassins when I saw him. I barely recognized the man. He was filthy with street grim, stank of old sweat and spilled beer. His haphazard hair which Liam and I would mock had devolved into a limp birds nest, hanging over blood shot eyes the only stared dully down at the chipped clay tankard in front of him. "More." The bastard said thrusting the cup at the bartender who dutifully refilled it. Seeing this proud member of our Brotherhood sunk so low sickened me. Shay was supposed to be full of fire and life, energy and wit. This hollow shell held only despair and self- destructiveness. He must have heard the clank of my boots on the creaky floorboards of the empty bar as I stalked over, his dull eyes showing only a tiny spark of recognition. "'Ello Hope," he said in a dead croaky voice "Here to kill me?"

"What?" Had I heard him right? Usually he would have come up some snide comment by now- "Coming to fetch me home Mother?, I'm just having a bit of fun."- something along those lines- but he seemed totally sincere. Worse he seemed almost glad as if he wanted me to say yes. "What did you say?"

"I said are you here to kill me? That's what the Assassins do isn't it? Cut down those who break the oath and kill innocents." He still stared at his cup, thrusting it forward again, but a sharp glare from me and the bartender had the good sense to flee to the back.

But his words, and the note he left with he things before he fled; "May a better man than me use them"; suddendly made sense. He hated himself for what happened. He shouldn't there was no way the earthquake and the artifact were related. "No one blames you for what happened in Lisbon Shay, Liam's been sailing the Morrigan up and down the coast looking for you and even the master seems worried though he won't admit it."

"They shouldn't," he still won't bloody look at me. "I broke the Creed in Lisbon. I need to die."

"There was no way you could have known-"

"Well I should of!" He finally stood and threw his tankard against the wall, shattering the clay into dozens of shards. "They told us all about how dangerous the Pieces were and I still just grabbed it!" He whirled to stare at me with those blood shot eyes and I knew that despite my years of experiance with death I had never seen those eyes before. These weren't like the eyes of many Assassins who weren't afraid of death; these were the eyes of a man who wanted it, yearned for it. "I should have done something and because I didn't the blood of thousands of innocents are on my hands!" He snatched my pistol from it's holster and pressed it into my hand. "Kill me and make it right." He knelt before me and closed his eyes waiting for the bullet that would end his life. Prepared for it. He wasn't prepared for my stiff wristed slap that sent him the rest of the way to the cracked floorboards. "What the hell!" He screamed as he stood up, a hand pressed over his reddened cheek. Finally, there was some of that familiar fire back in his eyes!

"Still got a bloody high opinion of yourself Shay," I taunted. I needed him to snap him out of it; as much as I might deny it I missed his lewd jokes and swagger around the Homestead. Almost everyone did. "It wasn't your fuckin' fault but even if it was, you think your life is enough to make up for all theirs?"

"Well no... but-"

"But nothing bugger! We're willing to let you come back but it's your choice! If you want to redeem yourself in your own mind, you can do it by saving lives." I turned to walk away; he needed to be alone right now. "I'll be back at the Homestead next week. If the what to stay with the Assassin's talk to Achilles. Whatever happens... good luck Shay."

I was already closing the door on the way out when I heard his last words. "... I make my own luck..." Thank God