Hate
A/N: So I was planning on just doing a one shot but then I got the writing bug and so I made another one. I think I might do a multi-shot. Maybe.
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The hallways of his Tardis is dim, cold and lonely. Just the way he likes it. Not another soul in sight. Just him and his Tardis. Alone. Finger tips brushing again cold surface he strolls through the vacant ship, his face expressionless. Every now and then, he stops and stare at one of the many doors lining his hallways. At some he would turn their knobs and enter briefly before continuing. At some he do not even give a glances. He continues this way till he comes upon a door all the way in the back, at the end, by its lonesome self. The last room. Unlike the other doors engraves with different design, like a rose or a phoenix or a scarf or a veil, this is not. It is just a plain wooden door. He prefers it this way. Turning the knob he push up the door and steps in. Slowly the room lights up and in the distance his ship hums. She is weeping in her own way. She hates it when he gets like this. He ignores her. He places his hands in his pockets and allow his eyes to sweep over the room. There is not much to see; a bed, a dresser and a chair. It is all that he have allow his Tardis to keep of the room owner. The less of her presence there is, the better his world. Strolling calmly to the bed, he takes a seat upon its edge and commends.
"Activate interface."
His Tardis hums again then silences as if giving up. He waits. A few seconds pass before an image emerge from the corner of the room and sits down by him. Neither he nor the hologram speaks. The need not be a sound. It is not why he is here.
"Am sorry." He says not looking at it. If he does he knows emotions best left bury would surface. She deserve better. Yet, he cannot help the way he feels. The emotions she evokes. There are few people in the universe capable of evoking the raw emotions he feels whenever she is around.
"Am sorry." He says again as he reach out with his left hand to touch it. He feels something warm connect with the skin on his fingers tips. The thing –no- she do not say a thing nor does she return his touch. If the interface had been real this is how she would have act. He almost feels like smiling at his Tardis excellent job. Almost.
He breathes in slowly then let it out. Lifting his head, he turns and look at the image before him. Large brown eyes gaze back at him, empty. He made her that way.
"Am so sorry." He repeats bringing his hands up to her face and cup it. She deserve so much better. It is not her fault that he hates her. That every time he interact with her his hate grows. It is not her fault at all. He just hates himself and in a way she reminds him too much of himself. He knows it is not fair. Not to her. However, he cannot help it. The way he cannot help loving Rose Tyler for being different then himself, is the same way he cannot help but hate her for being too much like him. In a way she is his reflection. It is not her fault, it is not, that he hates himself and wish to erase, obliterate, the being that is himself. It is one of the reasons why he race into danger and not away. Not her fault. He just can never love her as she does him.
"Am so sorry." He says again as he places a gentle kiss upon the hologram forehead. A few second later the image dissolve and he lays back down upon the bed, hot tears running down his face. He is so sorry.
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She hates him now. She knows it like she knows her own heartbeats. She hates him. Things she found once cute and noble about him now makes her want to stab him in the eye many times. Like the way his mind can work out a thousand ideas at once and yet fail to see what is right before him. The simple answer and solution. Or the way he refuses to deal with a threat once and for all. Giving evil second chances. What about the dead? Do they get second chances? Things she once found lovely about him just irritates her now to no end. Like the way he always seems so absentminded. So distance. So alien. Or the way he puts himself above humanity as if he is their parent, their leader, their God. Dictating to them what they can and cannot do. Take the case of Harriet Jones. What did she do beside try to protect her kind? Yet in his self-righteousness he ruin her. It is what she hates about him the most. His disgusting self-righteousness. Which is why when she left him she did everything that he hated. A sort of f-you to him. She got a gun and join the military. And when that was not enough she became a bounty hunter. But old habits die hard and his imprint upon her is strong. Every now and then she does thing that she old self did to please him. It is love and hate what she feels for him now. Love and hate. But the hate is growing stronger every day. Soon she will no longer remember the good about him. She guess the honeymoon stage is over.
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A/N: Alright I betting you are all thinking but the Doctor doesn't hate Martha but hear me out. I believe he does because of the way he treated her. It was like he was fighting with himself though out season 3. Because in a way he likes her but at the sames time she reminded him of his younger self -Which is why they made her a student studying to be a doctor- a bit too much. So it was like a tag and pull. Now about Martha. I believe she grow to hate the Doctor after leaving because the way the two of them acting around each other and the things she said to Donna in season 4 makes me go. Hmmm...I sense hate. Though she is trying not to show it since she herself seems conflicted around him. But yeah...I know most likely did not explain this well. Oh well.