A/N: Some coarse language in this chapter.
The more Jane watched Maura flit around nervously the more she wished last night hadn't happened. Her best friend needed distracting to calm her anxiety over the impending dinner and the Italian detective knew that the best distraction was her sex life.
Jane sucked down a couple mouthfuls of beer before placing the bottle down on the island, rising from the stool and walking around to Maura, placing a hand on each shoulder she spoke calmly, "Hey, it's okay, she's going to love you, stop stressing yeah?"
Maura almost melted under the touch of her best friend and if she hadn't been feeling so anxious she may have had mind to chide herself about it; instead she just appreciated the warmth that emanated from beneath those scarred hands. She looked up into the depths of Jane's dark chocolate eyes and smiled; she couldn't help it. "Thank you for being here, Jane."
Jane nodded slowly, she was about to leave the proverbial door wide open for her friend. "Anything for you, you need only ask." She dropped her hands and returned to her stool and beer, sitting back down gracefully as she swooped up the drink and drank up more of the liquid courage.
Maura's eyes instantly glistened with mischief. "Really, anything?"
A simple nod was all the reply she received.
She moved around the island and sat next to Jane, "Will you tell me about last night?"
Jane groaned, despite knowing what she was doing and that this was coming did not make the idea of the conversation any less awkward. "I'm not gonna go into specifics Maur, but I guess I can tell you a bit about it."
"She must be special…"
"No!" Jane said a little harshly before softening her voice, "That really wasn't me last night; I hope you know that. I don't normally just do that; but the way she looked at me, man it was intense and it bore right through me. It was… it won't be happening again."
Maura furrowed her brow and tilted her head thoughtfully, feeling a sense of relief that it had been a one time only thing, even if that fact was incongruous with the Jane Rizzoli she knew. "So you don't want to see her again?"
Jane chuckled sourly and hung her head shamefully, "I don't even remember her name. Fuck, Maur what the hell did I do last night?" She shook her head in wonderment as she looked up and to the side at her inquisitive, non judgemental friend. "I shouldn't have left you alone at that fundraiser, not for that. Never for that. Forgive me?"
Maura simply smiled and absently ran a hand along Jane's forearm in support. "There is nothing to forgive, I gave you my blessing. While it does seem out of character for you Jane, you're only human and you do have needs, wants, and desires."
Not even knowing why she continued to elaborate Jane said, "Or I was pulled into a finely woven trap; that woman was a total Cougar, not that I ever expected to be the fresh meat."
She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips as she really thought it through, she had met an incredibly attractive older woman who had known exactly what to do to draw her in and it had been a fun evening, an incredibly fun evening, but now she just wanted to forget it had ever happened.
Maura shot her friend a look of mock horror, "Scandalous!"
"Oh don't you even start." Jane replied jovially before standing up, "I should run upstairs and grab a quick shower and change," she glanced down at her work attire which had brand new holes in the knees and elbows thanks to a scuffle with a suspect earlier in the day. "Don't wear out the floor with your pacing, just pour yourself a glass of wine and relax. It's all gonna be fine, ok?"
Maura nodded softly, she felt a lot more relaxed now. "Just go, you don't have too long before Hope is due to arrive."
Maura took some time to think while Jane was in the shower and while she felt some nerves return about the dinner with Hope she found her thoughts getting stuck on her best friend. She had never really considered Jane to be a woman who would seek intimacy with another woman and now that she had that knowledge she found it harder to stay quiet about her own attraction.
The facts were simple, she wanted Jane, she had probably almost always wanted Jane; she was after all an incredibly beautiful woman with her long sleek athletic frame and Mediterranean features. Still what Maura had longed for most was a real friend in her life, someone who cared about her genuinely and that is what Jane had become. Maura had never encountered anyone as genuinely protective of her than her detective and it was for this reason alone she had fought against that physical attraction, helped by the belief that Jane was very much heterosexual.
But now, now she found that she was incredibly jealous of this mystery woman who may have only known Jane for one night, but had experienced the pleasure of her company on the most intimate of levels. It was easy enough to hide the jealousy because she just wanted Jane to be happy; but her resolve was definitely waning.
It was then that it occurred to her that Jane had been rather explicit when she said she would do anything for her, if asked. An almost predatory smile tugged at her lips when she glanced down at her watch, they had ten minutes before Hope was due – plenty of time to ask.
Jane was just buttoning up a deep purple shirt when Maura walked into the bedroom and smiled at her shyly. An inquisitive eyebrow shot up when the smaller woman stepped closer and finished buttoning the shirt for her. "Uh, Maura, what you doin?"
"Buttoning your shirt, what does it look like?" Maura responded matter-of-factly, before straightening the collar and instinctively sliding her hands down to rest on taut, shirt covered, abdominal muscles.
Jane swallowed nervously and started to take a step back, this was feeling a little too intimate and she was dead certain Maura just didn't realise what she was doing and the last thing she wanted was to mess up their friendship. She loved Maura too damn much to admit to her attraction openly; it just wasn't worth the risks involved.
"Don't," Maura commanded softly, "You told me you would do anything for me if only I asked, Jane. So don't retreat, please."
Another nervous swallow but Jane nodded slowly too afraid to speak, unsure if she could actually form a coherent response anyway. She prayed that Maura would step back any moment, because otherwise she was not going to be responsible for her actions. Her body was responding electrically and she feared the consequences, because every damn cell in her body was directing her towards those soft sultry lips that she fought really hard not to stare at.
"I'm going to ask you a question Jane, and I want you to answer honestly. Can you do that?" Maura kept her voice light and airy, not wanting to spook Jane before she could get to the point. She hadn't missed the dilated pupils staring at her lips. She couldn't help the seductive smile that graced her lips once Jane nodded to indicate an honest answer would be forthcoming. "Do you want to kiss me, Jane?"
Do bears shit in woods? God woman, is that not the stupidest question you have ever asked me? Why now? I can't do this after last night, it's wrong on so many levels. You deserve the best Maur, don't you know that? I can't just kiss you the day after a God damned one night stand.
"Jane?" Maura grew concerned at the far away glaze in her friend's eyes and the growing silence.
Snapping back to reality Jane took Maura's hands in her own, mostly to remove them from her body and give her a little more self control. "Yes, but I won't."
"What if I want you to?"
The Italian shook her head and stepped away from her friend, allowing her hands to fall to her side. "Not like this Maur, not after what I did last night."
"I don't care about last night. I care about you."
Jane closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose; she felt a headache coming on. This was everything she had wanted, at least, she thought it was, but she definitely didn't want the shadow of another woman hanging over them. "I do," she growled roughly, "I care about last night. Fuck Maura, you have no idea how important you are to me. I just can't, okay?"
The doorbell saved Jane from having to watch Maura's features crumble as she excused herself quickly to welcome her dinner guest.
Well that went swimmingly didn't it Rizzoli? Good one, moron. Could this night get any worse?
A/N: Why do my stories take on a whole other life of their own? This was meant to be two chapters... but oh well lets have three with this bonus side of angst. Let the real awkwardness begin next chapter. Thanks for all your reads, reviews and follows...