"You look like shit." Christina said to me as entered the locker room. I sneered at her and laid down on a bench.
George hovered near me, overly concerned as usual. "She's right, Mer. You don't look so great. Are you sick?" I responded with a not-so-subtle leave me alone groan. Sweat stuck all over my body and my face was burning. I knew that if I moved even one inch or simply spoke that I would end up running to the toilet to hurl. I held my stomach in agony.
"She's just hungover." Christina responded for me. "She had a few too many shots last night." I rolled my eyes. Like she didn't have just as many as I did.
Alex entered the room and headed straight for his locker. "We really need to talk about your love for tequila, Mer." He laughed and began changing into his scrubs. "Just wait 'till Bailey sees her."
I groaned again and my stomach turned, sending me running straight to the toilet. I quickly remembered my tequila binge last night as the contents of my stomach emptied into the bowl. I laid my head on the cool porcelain and tried to collect myself. "I can't believe that none of you are as hungover as me. We had the same drinks." I whined to my coworkers.
Christina threw me a towel. "You're just a lightweight."
"Hey, I like that in a woman." Alex laughed from the doorway.
I barely got out the words "You're a pig" before the second round of vomit came. I ran through the previous night in my head. We went to Joe's to blow off steam after a particularly long shift. We started drinking— tequila obviously. I remembered everything from that night and at no point did I feel like I was passing that dreadful hangover limit.
"What the hell is going on here?" I let my head hang when I heard that voice. Bailey stood in the doorway, furiously tapping her foot.
Trying to help, George offered, "Meredith's not feeling well."
"Too many shots." Alex chimed in.
"Thank you Karev. As if I couldn't smell that from the hallway. Yang you're with Shepherd today. Stephens, Karev to the pit. O'Malley the chief wants you on his service today. As for you Grey, you can get your tequila butt attached to a banana bag or go home. Your choice." With that Bailey left with a swift slam of the door.
My friends dispersed to their respective duties and wished me well on their way. I stood up, gaging my ability to work. Headache? No. Dehydration? Nope. Light sensitivity? No. I didn't have the normal hangover symptoms (besides the vomiting). Maybe I was just sick. The nachos from Joe's last night didn't exactly look health inspector approved.
Another thought hit me with a sudden ferocity. Could I be pregnant? Derek and I were always careful. We always used condoms and I always took the pill. I couldn't think of when my last period was. Shit. I stood up and tried to gather myself. Splashing some water on my face, I contemplated the concept of having Derek's baby. It's not like we were some sort of secret. And he would make an amazing father. But I was just starting out in my career and it wasn't the time for a child.
Either way, I knew I had to find out for sure before freaking out too much. I could do a simple blood test but I'd risk the lab tech finding out. Instead, I grabbed my phone and dialed the number for my gynecologist. There was no way to see a doctor in this hospital without it getting out.
"Doctor Cindea's office. How can I direct your call?" the receptions asked.
"This is Meredith Grey. I'm a patient of Dr. Cindea. I need to schedule an appointment as early as possible." I said frantically.
"And what is this appointment in regards to?"
"I think I might be pregnant. I really just need to get in as soon as possible."
The receptionist made a little noise of understanding and began typing on her computer. "It appears Dr. Cindea's 9:00 appointment was canceled. Can you be here then?"
"Absolutely. Thank you so much."
I hung up the phone, grabbed my purse, and sprinted for the door not even bothering to change out of my scrubs. Just as I turned right out of the locker room, I slammed into Derek. I bounced back surprised by the obstacle.
"Meredith?" He questioned, holding my shoulders to steady me. "Are you okay? I heard you were sick."
I gave him a half hearted smile. "Yeah. Totally fine. Just a little hungover. I'm trying to get out of here before I hurl again."
He let go of my shoulders and took a step back. "Good idea." He gave one of his famous Derek Shepherd smiles and said, "My shift ends at 8. I'll be over to check on you as soon as I get out of here." I nodded and he kissed my forehead. I resumed my run out of the hospital, not stopping for anyone. I fumbled with my keys but eventually got the car stated. In the blink of an eye, I was at my doctor's office.
I'd never had a problem with waiting before, but today that wait to see my doctor seemed to take years. Worse, pregnant women were everywhere. They were standing beside me, huddled in groups talking, sitting next to me reading magazines. It was like they could sense the possible pregnancy. Just being around them made me freak out. I wasn't ready to be one of those women. Completely devoted to another person. Hell, I couldn't even commit to Derek.
"Dr. Grey?" I hurriedly followed the nurse who took me to the back. She weighed me, tested my blood pressure, and drew some blood for the pregnancy test. Then she directed me to my room. "Put on the gown please. Dr. Cindea will be with you shortly."
I changed and sat on the table. There was no way I was pregnant. We were so careful. Derek and I weren't ready to bring a child into this world. But there were alternatives to actually raising a child. I could get an abortion and never have to tell anyone about this. I considered that for a moment then ultimately decided it wasn't for me. I had the ability and the means to care for a child. Abortion just didn't seem like the right option for me. Adoption could be a possibility. I could go away for a few months and give the baby to a nice family. I stopped myself. There was no point in figuring this out yet because there probably wasn't a baby to worry about in the first place.
I heard three knocks before the door opened to Dr. Cindea. "Hello Dr. Grey. How are you today?"
"I'm okay."
She gave an understanding smile. "So, your chart says that you think you might be pregnant."
"Yes. I would have done the blood test myself. I just wanted to keep things quiet in case."
"I'm glad you came to me. Your blood work is positive." Shit. "I want to go ahead and do an ultrasound to confirm." I moved to the correct position and she turned on the ultrasound monitor. Within seconds, the picture displayed my greatest fear. The black and white specks showed the tiny baby very obviously growing inside of me. "And that, Meredith, is your baby. I'd say you're just about 7 weeks along. I'm just going to go ahead and print out a picture for you."
I tried to hold them back. I tried to keep them from coming, but the tears fought their way out. "I. Can't. Be. Pregnant." I gasped out between sobs.
Dr. Cindea put a hand on my shoulder. "There are options if you decide that this is something that you really can't do Meredith. But most women come to decide that this is a good thing— even if the child is a surprise. In the mean time, congratulations." She handed me the photograph and everything suddenly became real. This was my baby. I was having a baby. Derek and I were going to be parents.