Two weeks working for Orsk had dragged out like two months for how grueling the work was: hauling cargo, unpacking bulk commodities, cleaning muck and trampled produce from unknown worlds, and she and Hann were once even tasked with butchering cuts of meat from fresh varren carcasses. That was the worst, as far as Dahlia cared. Even with her suit's helmet on, protecting her from the smell and spurts of gore, her stomach turned to find herself wrist deep in the foul beasts. The ordeal was all the worse for working under the glare of the vorcha and Talon guards and enduring Orsk's constant belittling. While Hann had received the brunt of the krogan's abuse, the boss also made his low opinion of Elsai and Dahlia very clear.
Working at the Omega Clinic, however, made the time pass more quickly. The work was no less intense, since lives depended on the staff, yet the challenge was rewarding and fulfilling for Dahlia. Her new responsibilities hybridized her knack for mechanics with her drive to solve problems placed in front of her. She was all the more energized by the reception her work received. The quarian duo were already impressed by her talents, but Dahlia's confidence swelled further when she impressed other staff members working under Dr. Solus, like Dr. Daniel Abrams.
Several pieces of equipment - medical scanners, medi-gel applicators, a cell culture incubator, and other devices - that been written off as irreparable scrap were brought back to life by Dahlia. She was also able to tend to mechs that had worn down due to the combination of infrequent maintenance, constant patrol schedules, and Omega's less-than-ideal conditions. She even brought back online two LOKI mechs that had been all but scrapped when the clinic had to repel a full raid by Eclipse mercenaries. A third mech had also been wrecked in the skirmish, but Dahlia considered it a blessing that she couldn't repair it.
What parts weren't cannibalized from the third LOKI mech to fix the other two, Dahlia set aside for her second attempt at constructing an arc reactor prototype. The cybernetic circuitry even provided most of the palladium she needed to craft the reactor's core. Her attempts to covertly work on the reactor were not as easily concealed as when Dahlia worked for Orsk. Dr. Solus, despite his nearly perpetual work schedule, found time to discover Dahlia's pet project. She explained the device to him, even sharing the omni-tool schematics when the salarian doctor expressed sincere interest in the experimental device. While it was not his forte, Dr. Solus did offer worthwhile suggestions for Dahlia to incorporate. For example, he proposed mounting the reactor in the chestplate of a hardsuit.
"Such extremely high energy output on a small scale. The possibilities are...exciting. Besides repulsors, this reactor could power kinetic barriers, personal mass effect field, biometric interfaces, life support webbing, micro-servos, stimulator conduits, and numerous VI assistance programs."
As the doctor rattled off supplemental ideas, Dahlia realized for the the first time how much she missed talking with someone who spoke her language. Hann and Elsai were nice, but even basic aerodynamics befuddled them. Hann was right: not all quarians were tech whizzes.
Nevertheless, they were hardly useless as Orsk often claimed. The pair also fell into niches around the clinic. They had expected to be relegated to scrubbing down this or washing down that - probably the same menial work they did aboard the Shellen. Quickly, however, they were called upon to serve many functions of orderlies or even nurses. Hann even assisted Dr. Abrams with a few non-life-threatening procedures when none of the other staff were available. Contrary to Dahlia's personal prediction, he did not faint at the sight of blood being drawn. Even though, according to Elsai, Hann held onto childhood dreams of serving with the fleet's marines, he seemed to be taking to medicine quite well. As for Elsai, she did not get called up to help out with much physical medicine. On the contrary, she found herself treating invisible wounds.
It started when she found herself sitting next to the volus who visited the asari in the recovery room when Dahlia first woke up in the clinic. He had become a common sight around the clinic. That particular day, Elsai had been "assisting" Dahlia as she tinkered in a mech's head circuitry, which meant handing her tools or a drink of water when asked. The volus sat on a nearby bench, and Elsai heard him sobbing through his breather. Sensing she was of little real help with the mech, Elsai took a seat next to the small, round man.
Listening in on their conversation, Dahlia learned that the volus - Jin - came to the clinic at least once a day to visit his bondmate, Ryxera. She suffered from a chronic disease, the name of which Dahlia could not hope to pronounce. Dr. Solus had told the couple that the disease is treatable if caught early. Unfortunately, his mate was in the very advanced stages, and the doctor could only make her comfortable until the end. Ryxera remained stoic, but while Jin tried to keep calm during his visits with his mate, he usually broke down afterwards.
"When we first got serious...Ryxie gave me the lifespan talk," Jin told Elsai between sobs and gasps of his breather, "But I didn't care. Ryxie was the best thing...to ever happen to me, and being with her...for the rest of my life would have been...perfect...I just wanted...to make her time with me...something for her to cherish for centuries. It's...it's not supposed to be this way…. I'm not supposed to outlive her. I was not ready..."
Jin's dirge was cut off as his voice was stolen by uncontrollable choking sobs. Elsai gingerly placed her arm around his low, sloping shoulders and encouraged him to let out his sorrow. Dahlia left the hallway at that point. The outpouring of emotion tied her stomach in knots. She was very uncomfortable with intimate situations.
Jin's visits to the clinic didn't stop. After spending hours with Ryxera, he would flag down Elsai to talk to her again. She was even invited to talk with Ryxera since Jin was worried about her mental state. He wanted her to be happy for every last moment she had left.
Elsai became the clinic's unofficial therapist. The patients and visitors found her easy to talk to. Dahlia admitted inwardly that a quarian enviro-suit's faceplate offered a non-judgmental face to confess problems and worries to. Patients with uncertain diagnoses or visitors confronting the possible loss of a loved one found reassurance with Elsai. She also counseled parents regretting that they had to raise children in such a lawless place, young people of various races who came to Omega seeking their fortune but finding only ruin and injury, and the ever-present stress and anxiety about the gangs and mercs who operated across the station with impunity.
Dahlia avoided being near Elsai's impromptu therapy sessions, both to provide privacy and save herself from extreme discomfort, but the common worry about the station's frequent violence prompted her mind into action. As her injuries healed, Dahlia continued to wear the damaged remains of her survival suit as a heavy jacket. She usually wore it over a light top offered to her as a gift by Ryxera, brought from their home by Jin. Perhaps Elsai had mentioned Dahlia to the couple, as the asari offered sympathy for the wayward human woman. Dahlia's gratitude was pushed aside in her heart by the creeping sense of vulnerability she consistently felt. Even though the clinic was protected by the mechs and Dr. Solus, she was always on edge. When working on malfunctioning machinery, she never let her guard down and constantly cast eyes over her shoulders. Downtime with Elsai and Hann eased her anxiety slightly, but never fully. Dahlia was most calm when working on the arc reactor. As it neared completion, Dahlia entertained her first serious thoughts about how to apply the power source.
She was lost in these thoughts working in a storage room in the clinic, inserting the palladium core into the palm-sized reactor, when Elsai surprised her.
"How's it coming?" she asked plainly.
"Fine," Dahlia spat, recovering from her initial jolt of shock, as well as inward anger for being caught unaware. She sighed and tried to recompose herself, to be more personable. "It's almost finished, believe it or not. I was thinking about testing it out tomorrow."
"What will you do with it when it's done?"
"Assuming it works," Dahlia began, "I'm going to incorporate it into a new hardsuit. After my run-in with Orsk's thugs and my discussions with Mordin, I want something with more comprehensive defenses."
"Will it still be able to fly?"
"Of course, but I don't want to be caught with my pants down again. Sorry, human expression," she answered Elsai's curiously tilted head. "I had to explain it to folks on the Helash, too. Anyhow, I was also thinking about including some weapon systems in the suit. They wouldn't be immediate priorities, but I think they're necessary."
"Weapons? What do you want to do with this suit?" Elsai sounded genuinely baffled.
"I don't know. My parents would be appalled by the idea. Especially my mother."
Dahlia sighed at her own understatement. Pepper had also questioned this direction. Although the A.I. had been programmed to replicate her mother's personality, its reaction was a bit more subdued than Dahlia imagined for her real mother.
"Once this suit is finished, you don't know what you want to do with it?" Elsai asked "Will you try to market it? If you're going to include weapons, I imagine that most Council militaries would probably be interested in a battlesuit capable of flight. It might make a good foundation to restart your family's company."
"Honestly, that thought never occurred to me. I never really think that far ahead."
"Well I do. I think about the future all the time," Elsai said with a sigh.
"Thinking about what ship you'd like to serve aboard when you return home? Seeing you in action lately, you might make a good counselor."
"Dahlia, do you really think about returning to the Flotilla? I can't understand why you'd want to when you have the freedom to go anywhere you want, especially after you finish these projects. You'd have your pick of planets anywhere in Alliance and Council space to settle down. That's what I'd want."
Dahlia set down the arc reactor and took a deep breath before speaking.
"A lot of people have been sharing their problems with you, but I get the feeling that there's something big that you want to share with me. Frankly, I'd rather take another hail of gunfire for you. Personal stuff really makes me uncomfortable, but…" she stumbled over this part, "go ahead."
"I don't blame you for being nervous," Elsai said. "I haven't even told Hann about this. The Shellen was very large, being a liveship and all, so I saw many people go away on Pilgrimage when I was young. The ones who never returned always stuck out in my memory. I always assumed that something terrible had happened to them, like pirates or some space monster. When I got older, I overheard relatives and friends talking and learned that a few pilgrims simply decide not to return to the fleet. That discovery changed my outlook on everything."
"So you're saying…" Dahlia began. She knew the truth that Elsai was tip-toeing around, but wanted to let her admit it for herself.
"Dahlia, I don't want to return to the Migrant Fleet. Even when I agreed with Hann when he suggested teaming up for our Pilgrimage, I never actually intended to go back. There's no future there. I want more out of life than scavenging an existence aboard a cobbled together, floating junkyard, drifting from planet to planet and hoping to find enough to survive."
Dahlia understood Elsai's confession and certainly wouldn't fault her for her decision. She was even impressed by the quarian girl's decisiveness, holding strong convictions about what she did and did not want to do with her life. Imani'Barael carried the same spirit when, in their last conversation with Dahlia before parting, she admitted her own reservations about life aboard the Migrant Fleet. While Imani wanted to make something greater out of her life, though, Elsai could only envision finding a new, more fulfilling life elsewhere.
"I know the Admiralty Board and Conclave tend to be pretty conservative," Dahlia replied, "but before I left, I heard some discussion about change. I know the captain of the Idenna has been talking about finding new worlds for the quarians to settle. Even if he's an outlier, there are other captains and admirals putting together serious plans for war against the geth to retake Rannoch."
"It doesn't matter," Elsai declared. "If they try to reclaim the homeworld, they'll all be killed by the geth. And they'll never agree to find a new home. The quarians have no future."
Two things deeply disturbed Dahlia: First, Elsai referred to the Flotilla and the other quarians impersonally, saying "they" rather than "we" or "our." Dahlia couldn't remember meeting anyone else from the fleet who did that. Secondly, and what really sent a shiver down her spine, was how strongly this fatalism conflicted with the support and optimism Elsai passed along to the patients and visitors at the clinic.
For a moment, Dahlia considered finally admitting her exile from the fleet. In the end, she decided that now was not the time.
"Let's move on," she said to Elsai. "I think we need to step things up and test the arc reactor now. Would you mind helping me?"