Chapter Four: Why'd You Bring A Shotgun To The Party?
"Fuckboi Finn is stood outside our apartment and he won't leave so I need you to come home and taser his nuts off for me."
Clarke looked at Lexa after she told Raven she would be there immediately with a curious expression.
"Look Clarke, I'm really sorry but my roommate's ex just showed up as he has done in the past and is outside our apartment so I gotta go over there and kick him out of the building."
Clarke nodded in understanding a mischievous glint in her eyes, "well then my big bad pilot you don't want to leave her alone with him do you?" Lexa shook her head, leaning in to give the blonde a chaste peck on her lips.
"I'll see you soon okay, I just have to sort this out."
"I understand Lex, now go before Raven blows him up or something."
Lexa chuckled softly at Clarke's joke, kissing her one more time before she left to go and deal with Finn.
Clarke watched Lexa drive off with a soft smile on her face and a glint in her eyes. Her mother may have been an asshat about her and Lexa, but Clarke wouldn't give Lexa up so easily, she had only known the pilot for two days but she was already in too deep, she felt too much for the other woman.
Clarke sat down on her couch heavily thoughts swimming through her head at a mile a second, she was loyal to her family and to the country she was to serve, but she was true to her heart. There had been an openly gay British king before, James, and if that was in a time of religious control and the public were relatively accepting of that, could the same not apply here. Britain wasn't as religious, in fact it was nowhere near as bad, and the people were far more accepting. Sure you would always have those few people that spoke against it but that was always going to happen. Clarke had made her mind up, she couldn't reveal her identity to Lexa just yet, she may trust the girl but not that much, she would tell her in time, for now she wanted to be just Clarke and Lexa and not Princess Clarke, heir to the British throne.
Her thoughts were cut off as Octavia and her brother Bellamy walked in to the house.
"Hey princess, what's new?" Bellamy found it amusing that his sister accidentally became best friends to the future queen of England so loved to call Clarke princess as a term of endearment.
"Nothing new Blake, what's with the limp?"
"Ah, Lincoln and I were sparring and I tried to kick the big guy but may have pulled my groin instead."
Octavia burst out laughing at her brother who looked down at his shoes, pink spreading up his face and colouring the tops of his ears.
"I can't believe you did that, you're such an idiot you big oaf!" Octavia exclaimed at her brother who nudged her slightly in response.
"Yeah yeah whatever."
"So chaser of butterflies," Octavia glared at Clarke for the nickname, "how was your night with Raven, loud as you usually are?"
"Oh God it was amazing Clarke that girl sure knows how to use her fingers, if I knew how good mechanics were with their fingers before I would've..."
"Whoa! O, I do not want to hear about my little sister being taken like that!"
"Oh come on Bell, it's not like I'm fully describing it, if you want I could tell you how many fingers she had inside of me," she threw a cheeky grin at her brother who looked scarred for life.
"But Clarke seriously she's amazing, and not just in bed, we talked for ages this morning and she's so funny, and nice, but not too nice where it's kinda creepy, and I just whoa."
Clarke smiled fondly at her best friend and looked at Bellamy who looked happy for his sister, even though he did just get a vivid image of her exploits last night.
"So princess, O tells me you pulled last night."
"I wouldn't say pulled but yeah."
Bellamy, even though he tried to hide it, showed a flash of pain at Clarke's dopy grin. It was no secret that the Blake had been in love with Clarke since he met her, and after she turned him down explaining she loved him as a friend and nothing more he had backed off and become her friend and nothing more.
"Oooh tell Uncle Octavia all about miss hot and broody."
"For starters Lexa is not broody, and Uncle Octavia?"
"But she is hot! And yes Uncle I am thy Uncle your royal highness bow down to my royal uncleness!"
Clarke and Bellamy just shared a look that said 'well she's not mine' before looking back at the younger Blake, "well, she's sweet and understanding, and funny, and she's so cute I can't believe how cute she is, and she's just, she's amazing."
"Wow Griffs, you're whipped."
"Yep you're as whipped as whipped cream."
"Nice try Bell, one day you will be funny if you keep believing."
"Fuck off Octavia." The siblings verbally sparred for a while and Clarke smiled fondly at her friends, wondering how things were going on Lexa's end.
Lexa drove home as fast as she could, breaking a few traffic laws as she went. She finally arrived home and ran up the stairs of the apartment complex as the lift seemed to be permanently broken, Lexa remembers Raven talking about converting the lift shaft into a missile launch pad in case she ever need something to make an extra big boom, panting for breath as she reached her floor.
There he was, Finn Collins, looking as much of a fuckboi as she remembered, his hair floppy as always and he had that stupid puppy dog look he pulled whenever he wanted something.
"Please baby just let me in, I miss you, can we please talk about this."
"Collins! Get the hell away from my door before I make you go through that window!" Lexa threatened.
Finn turned to her with a sneer on his face as he glared at the woman, "this has nothing to do with you, why don't you run along and leave us alone, Lexa."
Lexa hated how he said her name, it made her feel uncomfortable. Raven decided at that moment to open the door and thrust one of her long spanners at Finn, pushing him backwards until he hit the wall behind.
"You heard Lexa get out Finn, we don't want you here, and I made it quite clear when I caught you with your tiny pixie dick inside another girl that I never wanted to see you again, got that, chump?"
Lexa had to hand it to Raven, she sure was scary when she was angry.
"Raven please it wasn't what you thought it was!"
Lexa scoffed at the boy and looked him up and down, "please, I was there the only thing Rae got wrong about that moment was the size of your dick, a pixie would be ashamed to have one as small as that."
"Yeah well what would you know, dyke!"
"Oi! That's my best friend you homophobic twat, why don't you go now, and never come back, and never ever try to talk to me again Finn Collins, I'm done with you, to quote Taylor Swift 'we are never ever ever getting back together' go to hell Finn."
He gave one last look at the two women before he stormed off in a fit, stumbling on the way to the stairs, making him even more furious.
Raven turned to Lexa and burst out laughing, pulling the other woman into a quick hug, before letting go.
"Thanks Lex, as a reward for being my saviour, how's about pizza and that awesome berry cider, my treat."
"You're on, you best start ordering Reyes this girl needs her food."
"You always need your food! Oh I forgot to say, O's coming over here tonight so I'm kicking you out and you're going to Clarke's so you have like til seven to pack your shit and get gone so I can get naked and smothered in chocolate frosting!"
Lexa looked at Raven like she had grown another head, "okay you can't kick me out of my own place, and how does Clarke feel about this?"
"I can, and she won't mind... probably... now get your hot ass in your room and pack a bag make sure you take plenty of lube and condoms."
Before Lexa had a chance to argue or to tell Raven she was female and didn't need condoms and sure as hell didn't need lube she was being pushed into her room and the door was slammed behind her.
Tonight would be... different.
Lexa arrived at Clarke's at 19:17, coming straight over as soon as Octavia came over and Raven barely managed a "go" before she was 'occupied'.
She knocked awkwardly on the door in front of her, only for it to be opened seconds later by the smiling blonde, a bottle of vodka in hand.
She was ushered inside and saw that Clarke had a movie on, Fried Green Tomatoes one of Lexa's favourite films and books, and two shot glasses on the coffee table.
"Since Octavia and Raven are having their own fun I thought we should have ours."
"Well I'm pretty sure they're having a lot more than fun."
Clarke walked over to Lexa slowly, a smirk in place, "well who knows Miss Woods maybe we'll be having more than fun too," she said as he wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck.
Lexa gulped and licked her lips. She could hear her heartbeat and her breathing increase.
"What's wrong flight lieutenant, you feeling alright?"
"You know exactly what I'm feeling right now."
Clarke grinned cheekily and pecked Lexa on the lips quickly, "yep I do, am I seductive enough yet? I'm kind of aiming for you to rip this rather thin old white shirt off me so you can see that I'm not wearing anything underneath except this rather skimpy pair of shorts, is it working?"
That did it for Lexa, she picked the blonde up, who wrapped her legs around the other woman's waist, and carried her over to where Clarke directed her was the bedroom.
The next morning, Clarke was rudely awoken by a banging on her front door. Lexa also started to rise only to wrap her arms tighter around the blonde and pull her closer into her.
"Whoever it is will go away I need more spooning time with my Clarke."
Clarke chuckled at Lexa, who knew the highly trained military woman would be such an adorable softie when she was sleepy.
"Baby, I don't think they're going, come on let me up and we can get rid of them, it's probably just Jasper or Monty."
Lexa groaned quietly but relented as she let the blonde up.
"Boo, you need to get some clothes on too, I can't go to the door on my own who knows what it could be!"
"Bullshit I know what you're doing, if you have to suffer I must suffer too."
The blonde laughed at Lexa, throwing some lounge pants at the brunette's head.
"I'm just a great girlfriend like that boo."
"Girlfriend huh? I wasn't aware I was upgraded but I guess after my skill last night I don't blame you for upgrading me."
"Oh I... well... if you want don't feel like you have to say yes but..."
"Clarke, of course I'll be your girlfriend," they smiled at each other dopily before the moment was ruined by the incessant banging on the front door.
"I swear to god I'm going to kill whoever that is."
Lexa quickly slipped the pants on and a shirt she found on the floor, leaving most of the top buttons undone.
"I got it," she said as she walked out of the bedroom and towards the front door, chuckling as she noticed the various items of clothing scattered across the living room and hallway from last night.
She quickly unlocked the door and opened it only for her mouth to fall open and her eyes to go as wide as dinner plates.
"Lexa I presume?"
Lexa shut her mouth and snapped up to attention automatically, "your majesty!"
"Mum?!"