Dear Karen,

I still have the bottle you gave me from that night. I don't know why I'm telling you that, I don't know why I kept the bottle. No, I do, I kept it for the same reason that I kept your balloon. I keep things that remind me of you, something to look to when everything seems so dark. It helps when I can't see you for some reason.

The night you gave me that bottle, it was a day to remember wasn't it? So many emotions, but you still let me in. You had every right to slam that door in my face, but you didn't. You let me in, even though I had kept you out for so long. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you hadn't opened the door. What would I have done? Would I have stayed there, would I have waited? Or would I have given up on one of the most important things in my life, one of the people who gives purpose to me and the things that I do.

When you let me in, it had suddenly hit me that I had never actually been inside your apartment. I knew where you lived, I had followed you home before on the rooftops to make sure nothing happened a handful of times, but I never wanted to spy on you, or to invade your privacy. You deserved better. I remember the scents that hit me immediately, I smelled chocolate ice cream, and I smelled the scotch, but the familiar worn in scent of you permeated everything else, vanilla and jasmine. It made me smile despite myself. You lived in a very quiet apartment, all I could hear was the sound of soft music coming from your laptop. You walked over and immediately paused the song, I didn't understand why until later.

"So," you said as you came back to the kitchen, bottle in hand, after pausing the song. You didn't say anything else while you grabbed two glasses from your cupboard. Your heart was calmer, but it was still faster than its normal rhythm. You didn't know what to say, neither did I. "What brings you to this part of the Kitchen?"

It was such a bland question; it seemed so normal, like I had just popped in to say hi, that it took me off guard. I chuckled, you giggled. Things were better already.

"Well," I said, after downing the glass you had poured for me. "There is this really sweet, really pretty girl I work with, and I upset her. I was looking to apologize," you looked at me then, and you smiled before looking down again, "and to also answer any questions she might have."

There was a long stretch of silence before you said anything.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Foggy found me half dead in my apartment one night, so he does. My priest, Father Lantom knows, and there is a nurse, her name is Claire, she patches me up when I get hurt. And, now you know."

"So that's why you and Foggy didn't want to see each other a while back." It was a statement of fact the way you said it, not a question. I always loved how smart you were Karen, how you fit the pieces together so quickly.

"If you're blind, how can you, you know," You then mimed out punching, I don't think you even realized you did, "do what you do?"

"When I was blinded, some stuff got in my eyes and it heightened all my other sense. I can hear for blocks around me, I can smell like a bloodhound, I can read newspapers because I can feel the differences between where there is ink and where there isn't. When you put all of it together, I kind of get an image in my head of where things are, kind of like sonar."

"But how can you fight, and how often do you get hurt?" You were concerned. I had just laid out for you how I had lied to you, how I had tricked you, and you were concerned about me. I didn't deserve someone like you.

"I was trained by a man who was blind like me, his name is Stick."

"A blind man trained you?"

"Yeah, I know it sounds goofy but it's the truth."

There was a silence again. Your heart rate kept spiking every few moments, you wanted to ask me something.

"You can ask me whatever you want Karen. I'll answer you honestly," I grabbed your hand then, and you didn't pull away, but you didn't accept it either.

"How do you know I want to ask you something?"

"I can hear people's heart rates. It's also how I knew you weren't lying when I first met you."

"You can-" you pulled your hand away and walked out of the kitchen. I followed after you.

"I know this is a lot to take in Karen. I'm sorry."

"Why did you pretend to be blind this entire time?"

"Because I am, I just have other abilities that make up for it. And, I can't just go around explaining to everyone what happened to me."

Then you asked what you had been wanting to this entire time. You got it out of your system. You yelled, you practically had to get rid of how you felt. And I deserved it, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

"Then why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me talk about how I didn't think the man in the mask was a terrorist when you were standing right there? How could you save my life, twice, and then come back to work and look at me in the face and pretend like you did nothing? Was it nothing to you? Have you gotten so used to dodging bullets and saving people that you didn't even bat an eye when you saved me?"

"No, when I saved you, it was different."

"Why, how?"

"Because it's you Karen." I said, it didn't explain anything, but it made perfect sense to me almost.

You sat down on your couch, exasperated, and held your head in your hands. "What does that even mean Matt?"

I knew what you wanted to hear. I knew what you had to hear. But I wasn't ready to tell you yet, I didn't want to tell you like this. So, I did the best I could. I told you the truth, like I promised. But I left out part of it for later.

"Karen," I sat down next to you, and I put my hand on your back. I wanted to hold you, but I hadn't earned that privilege back yet. "It means that you are special. It means that, you're one of the few people that I let in. And when it comes to it, you're the only person who actually makes me feel like I'm worth a damn when I'm around them. You're everything to me Karen. I'm just sorry you had to hear it like this."

You stayed still for a little bit. I didn't move my hand from your back; it made me feel better to have contact with you. When you finally did move, you're eyes were watery. I thought I had messed up, that I had made you sad or mad again.

"Do you really mean that Matt?"

"Yes, that's why I called you first last night Karen. It's strange how being near death kind of clears some stuff up for you." I made a joke out of it, but it was true. And it says a lot about a person that they have to almost die to finally tell someone how they feel about them. You smiled, and you laid your head on my shoulder. I don't know why you did that really. Maybe it was because you just wanted to hear me say that, or maybe you were just exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I had put you on? I didn't care, I just loved holding you. I don't know how long we stayed that way, but you fell asleep after a while. I couldn't sleep, and it wasn't just because of the noise I could hear all around the city. Honestly, I didn't even notice the outside noise, and smells at night. I just noticed you, how you fit so perfectly against me, how small but important you felt in my arms. How perfect you were. I listened to how normal and wonderful your breathing was. And your heart, I swear Karen, it beat at the same speed mine did that night. It's rare that I'm perfectly happy, where the world seems wonderful and there is nothing bad. This night, I didn't think about Fisk, or about going out on patrol to stop a mugger or some other criminal. It was just you and me. And it was wonderful.

Eventually, I fell asleep too, lulled into dream by the sound of your breathing and the scent of jasmine and vanilla. We woke up at the same time, both in our normal clothes, both stiff from how we felt, and both the happiest we had been for a long time. If only we had known what was coming in the future Karen, would we have still been so happy? You made two omelets. I tried to help. I was never much of a cook, but my pathetic attempt at helping make breakfast at least made you giggle a few times. And the domestic way we worked together, it was so strange, but it felt so right. Eventually, we sat down on the couch again, and we ate. You leaned against me, and it all seemed like paradise to me.

"You know, there is still a lot we need to talk about." You said, after you had put your plate down on the coffee table and was nursing your cup of tea.

"I know," I said. We were skirting around such complicated issues, but I didn't care. I didn't care because I was holding you, in your apartment, the day after I slept there with you in my arms. "But I'd rather take you to dinner and talk about it after we eat."

"Mathew Murdock, did you just actually ask me out on an official date?" You sounded mockingly shocked. It just made me hold you tighter.

"Yes, Karen. I would love to take you on a date."

"Ok, but on two conditions ok?" I became worried, but I agreed, "One, you take this home with you and finish it off. Think of it as a thank you for hunting me down last night." You held up the bottle of scotch that we drank from last night that we left on the coffee table. I chuckled and naturally agreed. "And second, don't wear red, ok? And by that I mean, nothing red with horns on it too." Again, this made me laugh, and again, I quickly agreed to it. It would be nice to forget about being Daredevil for a night, to just enjoy my city with you, instead of protecting it. You watched the sun go up, until it must have been about ten in the morning. You told me you had to get ready for work, and that I should to. I agreed, I grabbed the bottle of scotch, and I began to make my way out when you called back to me.

"Hey, when is our date anyway?" I could hear the smile in your words. You were teasing me. Not a few hours ago you learned I was a blind vigilante who beat up thugs with his bare hands and now you were teasing me. You were incredible.

"Oh, yeah" I said, rubbing the back of my head with my hand, "we never agreed on that did we?" I was flustered; I didn't know when would be a good time. "How about tomorrow night?"

"Sounds good to me." Again, you smiled, and again, even as a blind man; my world became a little brighter.

"I'll pick you up at seven." I turned to finally leave, but something stopped me. I turned around again, and I don't know why I said what I said, but I felt like I had to say it. "And Karen, I want to make this work. And I'll do anything to make sure it does."

You smiled, and you said very quietly, "Thank you Matt." And that was it. I left. I had never felt so at peace, but still so excited before. But then I realized two things that broke me from my paradise.

I had to prepare to go on a date with you. That alone was terrifying to me. I hadn't been on a date in some time, and my history with women wasn't very good. I wanted everything to be perfect, and I had only given myself one day to prepare. But the second realization was even scarier than the first.

I had to tell Foggy about all of this.

Love,

Matt