As Thorin leaned over to speak to Fili, Sigrid was watching Kili and Tauriel whirling in each other's arms around the floor, their deft movements making all the other dancers seem awkward by comparison. Sigrid feared she'd look the clumsiest of the lot if she ventured out there, but when Balin approached her and claimed a dance, she decided it didn't matter, it was more important not to disappoint him, and followed him out onto the floor. As they followed the other dancers around the floor, Sigrid adjusted her stride and energy to his, limited as they were by his injury, so as not to let the discrepancy spoil the dance. She looked up as Kili and Tauriel came spiralling past, and Kili gave her a broad smile and a wink. Tauriel rolled her eyes at his antics, and Sigrid laughed. She glanced back at the honour table, and saw that Fili was still discussing last minute preparations for the coming feast with Thorin, though his eyes were on the dancers. She thought she caught the last glimpse of a flicker in Fili's eyes as he gave his attention back to Thorin.
"Ah, my dear, it's a pleasure indeed to match steps with you, but you know my leg's not the best, and I need a rest," puffed Balin. Sigrid's attention returned to her dancing partner, and she escorted him off the dance floor to a bench and a tankard, and saw him comfortably settled. She turned around and she was met with Fili's blue eyes and outstretched hand.
"My lady," he said with a bow. She looked at him a moment, drew in a breath, then placed her hand in his. He led her back to the dance floor, and took her in his arms to dance.
Sigrid was so light Fili didn't know how she didn't float right out of his arms. Standing face to face, her slanting grey-blue eyes weren't more than a handspan above his, a far cry from Tauriel's good head and shoulders over Kili, and her waist felt tiny under his hands. Kili and his lady came dancing past them, and Kili grinned at his brother. "Need me to cut in?"
Fili's hands tightened around Sigrid's waist, and he spun her away from Kili. "Stay where you are, Kili. I've got this." Kili grinned again and raised his eyebrows at his brother, and with another wink to Sigrid he danced Tauriel away in a whirl of green gown and auburn hair.
Sigrid watched them for a moment, then turned back to Fili. "Can we sit down for a minute? My feet are starting to hurt."
"Of course, my lady." Fili led her to an empty bench and hunted up two goblets of water.
"Thank you." Sigrid sipped appreciatively. Fili watched as she stretched her legs and circled her ankles. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired, I guess."
Fili sat down beside her. "There's no need to apologise. It's been a long year, for all of us."
Sigrid looked around the hall at the people, some dancing, some drinking at the tables and talking animatedly. Fili thought she seemed removed from them, somehow.
"It's so strange. Sometimes it doesn't feel as if it could be real."
"What doesn't?"
She gestured out in front of her. "All of this. Me. I'm supposed to be leading my people, and sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing."
"I feel the same sometimes. I'd never known this life before we set out to reclaim the Mountain. Yet here we are." He clinked his goblet to hers and sipped.
Sigrid looked sideways at him. "I didn't realise that. Everything seems to go like clockwork here, whereas I always seem to be struggling. If it wasn't for Balin's advice this past year, I don't know what I would have done. He's been so kind. He always finds time to talk with me whenever he comes out to Dale."
Fili grinned at her, all dimples and blue eyes. "Balin is a wise dwarf, my Lady."
Sigrid smiled at the compliment and looked into her goblet. Then she placed it back on the table and looked again at the noise and commotion of the throng of people, and her eyes turned dark. "Please, it's just Sigrid. All these people, calling us 'lord' this and 'lady' that… feasting, dancing… and seeing your brother so, so…" She looked into his eyes, and he could see they were filled with pain and confusion. "I don't understand it. How do they all just go on like nothing happened?"
She put her face in her hands and Fili was stricken to the heart. Clearly Sigrid was struggling with something, and whatever it was, being amongst the crowd was causing her distress. He needed to get her out of the hall, away from the noise, the people, and judgmental eyes. He took her hand in one of his, and lifted her chin with the other until she looked at him.
"Sigrid, do you trust me?"
Her answer was absolute. "Yes."
"Then come with me. We're leaving."
"But Tilda…"
"My mother and Tauriel will look after Tilda. Come on."
Fili had grabbed a lantern and was leading Sigrid by the hand through seemingly endless corridors and flight after flight of stone stairs. She was feeling ashamed of her moment of weakness, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. "Where are we going?" she asked. Fili looked back at her and grinned.
"You'll see."
They emerged at last on the parapet above the great front gate, fully rebuilt from the destruction of the battle a year ago. Sigrid let go of Fili's hand, stepped slowly out into the night, and looked up in wonder. A myriad of stars sprinkled the clear sky. Far below, a faint glow came from a few open windows in the great gate, and were reflected in the dancing water of the falls. Below in the valley, she could see the tiny lights of Dale, a promise of home and warmth in the night. She guessed that in the daytime the view would be clear for miles, but now, in the night, with the cool late autumn air, the stars, the faint sound of rushing water and the occasional hooting of an owl in the trees below, it was utterly entrancing.
"Oh Fili," she breathed. "It's beautiful!"
He was smiling at her, and only took his eyes off her to walk past, swing up onto the parapet, and seat himself on the edge. He turned and held out his hand back towards her. "It's even better from here. Come on."
Sigrid froze. "Er, no, thanks all the same, I'm good, it all looks pretty good from back here…"
"Sigrid. I won't let you fall. Come on, it will take your mind off whatever's troubling you." He tilted his head and gave her a half-beseeching, half-teasing look. "You did say you trusted me?"
The look in his eyes was irresistible, and despite her fear she stepped forward and took his hand. He settled her next to him on the edge of the parapet, keeping hold of her hand all the while.
Without any stone in front of her, she could feel a cool breeze in her hair as it wafted straight up the wall, and she saw it gently ruffling Fili's blond braids. Holding tight to his hand, she trusted that Fili would never let her fall, but she still didn't want to look straight down. Her eyes followed Fili's other hand as he pointed out towards Dale.
"See the lights over there? Those houses are full of people who are sitting safe inside tonight, maybe with their families, or friends, or a sweetheart, and the night around them is peaceful. I think that is something to celebrate, don't you?"
She didn't answer, but kept gazing out into the night.
"We enjoy our food and drink, and song and dance, whenever we can, Sigrid, because peace is purchased dearly, and it doesn't last forever."
He turned towards her.
"I suspect you've not given yourself time to stop, and relax, and enjoy the peace we have won, have you?" he asked finally. "Balin's long been telling me how hard you work for your people. There's no shame in asking for help, Sigrid, if you've been bearing too much for too long."
A tear began to fall down her cheek, and Fili lifted his free hand and wiped it away gently with his thumb.
"I have an idea. Come out with me tomorrow, just to take a moment and relax. We have plenty of staff to take care of your duties for a day, and I'm sure Kili and Tauriel will look after Tilda. What do you think?" He squeezed her hand.
Sigrid took a deep breath, and finally spoke. "I don't know what to think. All I know is that a minute ago I was in the hall, nothing made any sense, and I was afraid I was about to fall apart, and now I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff, everything makes sense, and I don't feel afraid at all." Finally she turned and looked at his face. "And it's because of you."
Fili grinned at her. "I'm taking that for a 'yes.' Now, let me take you back to your chamber so you can get a good night's sleep, and I'll come find you in the morning."
She smiled back at him, his blue eyes and dimples irresistibly infectious. He stood up on the parapet, and effortlessly lifted Sigrid into his arms. She let out a squeak, reminded of the sheer drop just inches away, and hid her face in his neck. As he lightly jumped down from the ledge he whispered, "Sigrid, breathe. You're safe with me."
She lifted her head and looked at him. "I know."