They arrived back at the Mountain towards the end of supper, and headed straight down to the hall. Balin was seated at a bench just inside the door, and they slid in beside him, keen not to be called up to the honour table.

"Balin," said Sigrid softly, touching him on the back as she sat down.

"Sigrid, my child! Bless my beard! Sit, sit! And Fili! Come, have you not eaten?" Balin looked around to call for food and ale. "Here, eat, eat."

"How was your day, Balin? I hope Tilda behaved herself?"

Balin laughed. "I took her through the toy workshops this afternoon. She's been given so many toys and games and jewellery boxes she'll need a cart to get them back home. We see so few children here, Sigrid, and none so charming."

Sigrid smiled at Balin, and looked around the hall. "She won't want to come back home, by the sound of it. Is she here?"

"Gone off to bed, tired out. Now tomorrow, Dis was hoping to take Tilda down to see the mines. I trust that you would approve? She'll be perfectly safe."

"I know she will." She glanced at Fili. "I confess I was hoping to ask someone to look after Tilda tomorrow, as I'm going to be out all day."

Balin patted her hand. "You're her sister, child, not her mother. You've more than earned some time for yourself." Balin looked at Fili and raised his eyebrows. "Has this lad got something to with it?" he teased.

Sigrid laughed. "Yes. And no. I'll tell you all about it when we get back. But now I need to get to bed, even though I did sleep half the afternoon. It's an early start tomorrow. Good night." She kissed Balin on the cheek, and gave Fili's hand a squeeze. He reluctantly let go of her fingertips as she moved away.

They watched her go, and then Balin turned to Fili. "I'm glad. She's happier than I've seen her this twelvemonth."

"She's been jumping at shadows this twelvemonth, Balin. I don't know how to help her."

Balin drew back and looked at Fili. "It's her battle, lad, not yours. Just stand beside her. She has more courage than she knows, she will work it out."

Fili looked into his tankard and lowered his voice. "Balin. It's more than that. I would have her care for me, if she would."

Balin snorted. "Fili, my lad, do you think I got my first axe yesterday? That's already plain as plain. I doubt either of you need much of a push."

Fili's eyes lit up and he laughed, and he took a sip from his tankard. Then he narrowed his eyes at Balin suspiciously. "You knew what you were doing when you sat her next to me last night, didn't you?"

Balin held up his hands. "I'm usually quite happy to take credit for more wisdom than I have, but I'll confess to you, lad, that it wasn't my doing. I'll not say more than that. Now go on with you."

It was still dark when they rode out for Laketown the next morning. Fili had arranged for sturdy mountain ponies to be saddled for the journey, rather than the sleek pleasure-riding ponies of yesterday, as the day would be a long one. It would be at least midday before they arrived, and long after sunset by the time they returned. Sigrid's resolute conviction of the night before had given way to a silent nervous apprehension that filled Fili with concern, but which didn't prevent her from sticking to her plan nonetheless. Balin was right, she had more courage than she realised.

Just after sunrise Fili finally broke the silence that had surrounded their ride thus far. "Sigrid, you need to talk to me. What do you want to do when we reach Laketown?"

She started twisting her reins in her hands, and he recognised the skittishness that he had seen two nights ago. "I don't know. I haven't really thought out the details."

"Well, let's see. We'll reach the top of the Long Lake around midday. It would be another half hour to ride down to the mouth of the Forest River, if you want to get closer."

"Da told me Thranduil's people helped to build a village of huts there?"

"Yes, on the shore opposite where the town was. We can't walk out to the ruins, the bridges haven't been rebuilt, but if you wanted to, we could get a boat from the village."

"Are the ruins visible from the top of the lake? I'm not sure I want to run into anybody."

"They are, so why don't we start with that."

Sigrid nodded, and lapsed back into her uneasy silence. They rode onward, the tense atmosphere so different to yesterday's easy companionship. Fili said nothing more, mindful of Balin's advice, but when they dismounted mid-morning to water the ponies, he wordlessly pulled her into his arms and held her. The tension in her body gradually eased, and she drew in several deep breaths, before pulling back to look at him.

"I'm fine, Fili. Really I am. I'm just afraid that some horrible memory will surface at any moment, and I'm dreading it. It's almost worse than the memories themselves."

He smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. "I'm right beside you, Sigrid."

"I know you are." She looked at him a long while, a slightly puzzled look on her face. "Why, Fili? You've dropped everything to help me with this, to be here with me. Why?"

He stroked her face with the back of his finger. "Do you truly not know?"

Tears welled in her eyes and he pulled her back into his embrace. "Now, we need to keep going. And you need to keep going, so please eat something. And this time, when we're riding, talk to me."

They continued on their journey, the road sometimes following the riverbank and sometimes taking a more direct route through the scrubby heathland when the river meandered away in its course. From the tension in her body and the way she was twisting the reins, Fili could see that Sigrid was gradually drifting back into her troubled thoughts.

"Sigrid, listen to me. You need to stop thinking about your fears."

The bleak look from yesterday returned to her eyes. "I don't know how to do that. I can't control them, they just happen."

"You need to focus on here and now. Look around, what do you see?"

"The road. The river. You."

"No, I mean really look. Slow down. Breathe. Look at all the colours, the shapes. Look at the details." Sigrid looked at Fili for a moment, then drew in a deep breath, and looked around slowly, silently, a little crease of concentration between her brows. Gradually her eyes widened, and she looked back at Fili.

"I've just realised I never really notice things," she said. "I look at them, but I don't really see them, not like this. All the details, the colours, it's amazing." He was relieved to see the tension in her body starting to ease. "Where did you learn that?"

"My first swordmaster. It's a technique to help you focus. It's no good being distracted in the middle of a fight. Do you want to keep going?"

"What do you mean, keep going?"

"Listen to what's around you. What do you hear?"

She closed her eyes and concentrated. "The wind blowing… birds chirping… there's a bird flapping on the river… the ponies' hooves on the road… squeaks from the tack and the saddlebags…" Fili was impressed – she was a fast learner.

"Very good. Now breathe in. What do you smell?"

Sigrid breathed in, slowly and deeply. She wrinkled her nose. "Mostly horse. There's also leather, dust, and a sort of wet earth smell from the riverbank…" She opened her eyes and regarded him curiously. "You do this in the middle of sword fights?"

Fili laughed. "No, you do it beforehand. It brings your attention to what's going on around you. Then you trust your instincts to do what you were trained to do." He narrowed his eyes and gave Sigrid a teasing look. "Are you planning a change of career?"

She smiled back at him and shook her head. "Just trying to understand."

And as Fili looked at her, he found himself wondering whether it was the technique or himself that she wanted to understand, and he knew which of the two he hoped it was.