Stage Three: The Show and Tell

'Magnus, stop.'

'What?'

'Stop staring at Alec Lightwood's crotch so very blatantly,' I clarified, clearing my throat. 'You're very sparkly, and it draws attention towards your crotch-staring.'

Magnus turned to me, a hand on his hip. 'I was admiring art,' he said, sniffing and then snatching my Starbucks cup, taking a long drink.

I eyed him clutching the cup, daring me to take it back. 'Why don't you just piss around it? That'll seem less possessive,' I mused, stretching my legs over the bleachers and crossing them at the ankles and leaning back on my hands. They day was especially pleasant, like it might rain any time soon.

Magnus sat with his legs crossed and a math book open on his lap. He waved a highlighter around. 'What is this?' he asked no one, scowling at the text.

'Well…' I started, 'if you paid attention in class, you'd know.'

He raised one of his fingers towards me. The not-nice one. 'Math and I are on a break from each other,' he explained slowly, like I was daft. 'We decided it was for the best, what with her ex lurking around.'

I nodded. 'I see what you did there.'

We sat there for a while, Magnus occasionally grunting and pulling his hair in frustration. Something lingered at the back of my mind and I looked around. No one was around anymore, so I thought now was a good time as any. 'Magnus.'

'Hmm?' he hummed distractedly, squinting at the book.

'What would you say if I had a crush on someone?' I asked, pulling up my knees to my chest.

He looked up. 'I know I'm hot, but I don't swing that way,' he joked and I slapped him on his arm.

'No, he's straight. I think,' I informed him and he shut his book.

'I think your choice in men lately has crashed and burnt. Multiple times,' he said, and then amended, 'sorry, boys. Your choice in boys. Because they all are way too pansy-assed to be called men.'

I looked at him and scrunched up my nose. 'True, true. Though this guy might be different, right? Fifth time's the charm?' I thought I might have sounded a bit pleading. I needed confirmation from someone else that it was time I put myself back on the dating scene after my last relationship ended badly.

Magnus looked at me sympathetically, like he wanted to say no, but didn't want to hurt my feelings. 'Okay, do you have pictures of him?' he relented and I smiled broadly.

'Need you ask? Yes, of course I do.' I dug around in my bag for my phone and then grinned when I opened up the gallery. Yes, I'd taken screenshots of his pictures. So?

I held it out towards Magnus who instantly grabbed it. 'I hate it when people do that, Magnus. When I show you something on my phone, you must have etiquette and admire it rather than snatching my phone,' I huffed out.

Magnus smirked. 'I think we've already established I'm inhuman.'

'Yes. An ape.'

He flicked through the photos in the folder titled 'Homework Assignments' because hello, I did not need people knowing I went full on stalker on a guy I barely knew. And no one would open that folder because of the repulsive name.

Magnus made a sound of appreciation. 'Well, damn. If he were gay, I'd be all. Over. That.' He said each of the last three words with finger snaps.

'Right?' I was relieved. 'So, what do you think? Is he a good enough person?'

Magnus looked up. 'I can't determine that by a couple of Instagram pictures, Clary. I need solid material. What does your gut say?'

I looked at him incredulously. 'My gut is slamming its head against the wall and spinning around drunk. We know where my gut has led me the last couple of times. Bad gut.'

Magnus smiled a little. 'I'm sorry I wasn't around to kick the asshole's ass,' he said, and then scoffed. 'Asshole's ass. The ass of the asshole…what is that, even? Like…the butt of a butt. A double butt.'

I laughed at that. 'We're so immature.'

'Though…from what I've heard about him, Jace is a good guy. I don't know much about his personality.'

'I've barely said anything to him since he moved here, Magnus. I was a complete bitch a couple of years ago, and I couldn't even welcome him like a normal person would. I was cold and just downright ignorant of anyone who tried to be friends with me,' I said, remembering the way being with Sebastian had kind of manipulated my way of seeing things. I was kind of impressionable and vulnerable and Sebastian was the sexy senior who'd show me a whole new side of things.

Only, that whole new side ended up changing me. It wasn't something I was proud of, and I saw just how much I'd changed when we'd broken up before his graduation. I could only thank God that Magnus wasn't around that year to see me that way. He knows the basics, but not all.

I guess I was looking a little wistful because Magnus was waving his hand before my face. 'Hello, human.'

I smacked his hand away and then looked at my phone's screen. 'I'll bet he's a real hottie under those baggy sweatshirts.'

'Oh my God, yes. Your children will be genetically perfect. I will plan your wedding,' Magnus fanned his face and I loved how he could divert my attention like that.

'That's taking it to a whole new level, my apprentice stalker,' I chided.

A/N: Hello. I know I'm a couple weeks but what can I say? Been busy, sick, then busy again. So. It's two thirty in the morning here. I don't think my brain is even functioning properly, so...

Guest: Maybe for a oneshot, yes, but barely for a chapter. Thank you :D

Ava: Thank you. Put off by nerdy Jace? Aw shucks.

Katie: Thanks, here's your update :)

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