Scattered trees succeeded the scrubby heath as they approached the northern edge of the lake, marking the outer edges of the Mirkwood forest. Soon after midday they made their way through thicker stands of trees, and came out suddenly onto a grassy flat, which in spring would be covered with wildflowers, but was now yellow and withered, leading down to a rocky shore, and the Long Lake was in front of them. To their left, they could see the point where the river merged slowly into the lake, with heathland beyond, while the shore leading away down to their right was thickly wooded with plantations, giving way to some cultivated fields and livestock pastures, and they could make out a village of huts nestled along the edge, with the denser forest of Mirkwood behind. Fishing boats were lined up along the shore, and in the water, its blackened stumps jutting out like the grasping fingers of a burned hand, were the ruins of Laketown.

They dismounted. Fili took the reins of her pony, and Sigrid slowly walked across the grass to the shore of the lake. There it was, the place that had once been her home, and that now haunted her dreams. Or what was left of it. She felt Fili come to stand beside her.

Eventually she spoke. "I half-expected to see it still smoking."

"Breathe, love. That's the past. Come back to the present, like we practised. Look. There's no fire, no orcs, no dragon."

She dragged in a shuddering breath. "No, there's not. There's nothing. Nothing at all." She felt stunned, empty. Was this all it was? This quiet place, these old burned stumps, was this the place that had haunted her all this time?

Finally she looked down and shook her head, and tears scattered over the grass. "I should be over this."

"You're too hard on yourself. Just give it time. You faced down orc blades and dragon fire that night, through no fault of your own, completely unprepared." He lifted her chin, cupped her face in his palms and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "Trained warriors have quailed at less, Sigrid. But not you. You had such courage."

Sigrid laughed bitterly. "Me? Courage? I was scared the whole time. I'm still scared."

"You may have felt scared, but you didn't hesitate to help us, you didn't hesitate to look after Tilda, you didn't hesitate to help me with Kili. You never faltered."

She shook her head again, shaking off his hands, and looked away.

He gripped her arm. "Sigrid, listen to me. Courage isn't the lack of fear. Do you think I wasn't scared that night? Kili was dying in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to save him. I was terrified."

Sigrid swung around to look at him, eyes widened in disbelief. "That's not possible. You… you rushed at that orc, without a weapon… you got us out of the fire…"

"I'm a trained fighter, Sigrid. Those things were easy for me. But seeing Kili like that…" He let her go and brushed a hand over his face. Then he gripped her arms again, and his face turned hard. "If anything, the blame is mine. For all of it. I made so many mistakes. It was me and my kin that led the orcs to your house that night. And the dragon, if only I had gone with Thorin, maybe I could have stopped him from rousing it, somehow. Then I could have spared you all this pain. I could have spared everybody." He looked at her and there was anguish in his eyes.

Sigrid was suddenly furious. She grabbed the front of his jacket and shook it, pummelling his chest, though for all the good it did she may as well have tried to shake a mountain. "No, Fili, don't you dare," she shouted. "Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened. You were the only thing that made any sense to me that night. None of it was your fault, but your kindness, and loyalty, and courage – you couldn't have done anything better. You did everything right. Don't you ever, ever doubt that." She looked desperately into his face. "It's the only memory of that night that I want to hold on to, you, and I have loved you ever since. You were everything. You are everything. You are everything to me." She pulled him towards her and kissed him fiercely.

She could not have imagined that he would meet her with such a response. He crushed her body to him, and deepened her kiss wildly. She moaned and he immediately broke the kiss and loosened his grip. She pulled him back to her. "No, don't let me go. I want this, I want you," she mouthed under his lips, and he groaned and gripped her tighter. They fell to the ground, and he effortlessly lifted her around to lay beside him. She tugged off his coat and ran her hands under his shirt up the smooth warm skin of his back. He pulled off her jacket and opened her blouse to expose her stays, exploring her skin with his hands before using his lips to devour her neck and shoulders. Without pausing he reached down to his boot and pulled out a knife, and she gave a gasp as he used it to slice through the laces of her stays, freeing her breasts. He wrenched the garment out from around her and threw it and the knife aside, and then fell on her breasts, kissing and tugging at each in turn. She moaned again, bringing her hands forward to entwine her fingers through the braids of his hair. He returned to her mouth for another savage searching kiss, and she matched each thrust of his tongue with one of her own. She could feel his shaft pressing against her hip, and she reached down to fumble with the drawstring of his breeches and take him in her hands. He groaned and leaned his forehead on hers, momentarily stilled by her fingers on him, then he reached down her legs. She shivered to feel the cool air on her skin as he wrenched off her boots and pulled down her riding breeches, and then his searching fingers found their mark, and all was heat. She gasped and arched her back, rocking against his hand, his fingers sliding in and out of her core, then spreading her wetness along her folds to circle around her nub. He was relentless, and when she felt her climax swell and burst over her, his mouth swallowed her cry. Still trembling, she grasped him tightly and guided him into her centre. His eyes were locked on hers as he slid inside her, and she could see they were dark and intense with desire. He began to move, increasing speed and thrusting into her desperately, wildly, as if by doing so he could undo the past and dispel all their pain. She held on to him as tightly as she could, repeating his name, then with a great shudder he spent himself inside her, with his forehead pressed into her shoulder and her name on his lips.

They lay entwined on the grass where they had fallen, in a jumble of half-discarded clothing and dishevelled hair, with her head resting on his shoulder. Fili had pulled his coat over them for a blanket.

He kissed her hair. "You have such faith in me. I don't deserve it."

"Yes, you do. And you've already told me I'm as stubborn as a dwarf, so don't argue with me."

He laughed quietly and held her close, and she lay enveloped in his warmth, his strength, and the delicious masculine scent of him.

She heard him whisper. "I'm sorry, love. That wasn't how I wanted our first time to be."

"You're sorry?" She pulled back to look at his face.

"No, love, I'm not sorry it happened, I'm sorry it was a bit… frantic. I'd hoped for something more… romantic. Something more befitting you." He cupped her face with one hand.

She laughed a low laugh and snuggled back into his shoulder, one hand idly fiddling with his braids. "On the contrary, Fili my love, I thought you befitted me very well."

He pulled her closer and kissed her hair again. "Next time will be gentler, I promise. Ah, Sigrid mine. You are truly mine now, as I am yours." He paused, and his voice lowered again to a whisper. "Marry me?"

Sigrid rose on one elbow to look at Fili's face. "You can take this for a 'yes,'" she said, and she leaned down and pressed her lips to his.

She felt Fili's hand slide into her hair to cup her head, and he held her to him and deepened the kiss. When he released her, she could see his eyes were dark with emotion. He settled her back into his shoulder, and she nuzzled her lips into his neck.

A few minutes later, Sigrid broke their beautiful silence. "Fili, when you said you'd hoped for something more romantic," she began.

"Yes?"

She grinned. "Are you admitting that you were thinking about it?"

She felt his laugh rumble in his chest beside her. "Of course I was. Since our dance at supper the other night. And you slept two hours in my arms yesterday. Dwarves love stone, but we're not made of it, you know." He kissed her hair again, and his voice turned soft. "Have you really loved me since Laketown?"

She ran her fingers through the hair on his chest. "Of course I have. Why do you think I was so nervous at supper the other night?"

He pulled his head back to look at her in mock dismay. "You made me believe it was the crowd."

"It was, a bit. But it was mostly you."

He nestled her closer. "Well, I am yours now, and you are mine, and that's all that matters. And as much as I want to stay here forever, we need to get ourselves together before someone sees us."

"You'd better find my corset then," she said with a smile. "Where did you throw it?"

They sat up and started to help each other reassemble their disordered clothing, laughing as they found pieces here and there. Sigrid had just found one of her riding boots behind a tuft of grass when she looked up and saw Fili gazing at her. "Sigrid, amrâlimê. Come here to me."

She walked towards him and he gestured for her to sit in front of him. He knelt behind her and she felt a frisson down her spine as she felt his hands gently start to unbind her hair. He had pulled a comb from one of the many pockets of his coat, and she sat spellbound as he painstakingly cleared every tangle from the dishevelled mess, occasionally caressing her neck and shoulders and murmuring in Dwarvish, and then slowly weaved it into an elaborate braided love knot.

"There." She turned and saw him sitting back on his heels, a satisfied smile on his face. She smiled back at him, and softly patted the intricate weave to try to get a sense of the design.

"Fili, it is beautiful. Thank you." He gazed at her for a moment longer, then reluctantly he stood and offered his hand to help her up.

"Come on, now we really do need to get going."

She had almost forgotten that they were miles from home, and in a place that had held memories she had dreaded to think about. She looked out across the lake towards the ruins, source of the fears that had haunted her these many months, and it was like looking at a completely different place, although the change was not in the view, but in her. She looked back at Fili, his eyes glowing with love and his hand patiently outstretched to her. As she took his hand she knew that, though not healed, she was on the path to healing, and that this place would hold no terrors for her again.