With a bit of inspiration from Budgielover's "Leavetaking", I present this... this thing that jumped into my head like the evil, Wild-Fang-shaped plot bunny that it is and refused to settle down. Describes fairly accurately what is happening with this story right now, unfortunately...

Imagine Juniper, arms folded and looking rather stressed, trying to organise Wild Fang into some sort of order so that they can get on with their story...

Ramble On

"Alright, Team Wild Fang, listen up! This is your author talking so would you please pay attention for once? No, thank you, Kyouya, I don't need you to yell at them too – yes I know they're your team, but... what? Nile's gone? Where to? Oh, that's alright then. I'm glad he remembered to do that before we left. I trust him to get back pretty soon.

"Of course I trust you as well, Benkei, it's just that Nile's a bit more responsible than you. Yes, I know – what? That was him? He swore that was Demure. I'll have to have a talk with him when he gets back.

"What is it, Demure? Yes, go on. It's not as if we're going to come across any convenient villages with running water for the next little while, so could you all make sure you've taken care of... of that business, please. Oh, so you all have to go. Except Kyouya. Why am I not surprised?

"Yes, Benkei, I know he's your Kyouya-buddy. Now go on, or we'll leave without you.

"Kyouya, is there a reason why you're – no, don't do that, Kyouya, that's not helpful. I know exactly what you're doing – it's right in the middle of the path. It was pretty obvious, if I'm honest. So fill it back in again... no, it's not my job – you dug it, you can fill it in.

"Ah, there you are Nile. Can you help Kyouya fill in the Plot Hole he's just made? Thank you.

"No, I've no idea how he made it. That's a good point, though – maybe I should look into it. There must be some sort of scientific basis to it – I mean, the Plot Bunnies have to live somewhere after all. It would be logical, I guess...

"Demure? Now you're back, can you scramble up here and take a look around at the terrain and see if you can spot anything? Oh, just anything... er, interesting. You've got the best eyes here, so you should be able to make something out.

"Kyouya, if you say a word about that Hobbits to Isengard video, I will gag you, tie you up and drag you along behind Benkei. Because I can, that's why. And because you've already got that song in my head once this trip and I spent days getting it out.

"Never mind that now. We're supposed to be getting off to the next chapter, so if you could form an orderly line of... well, three, I guess because Benkei's not here yet, I'd be very gratef- oh, there you are, Benkei. Get in line, please, we've got a long way to go yet.

"No, I haven't lost the Plot, thank you Demure. I know exactly where we are. We're in the middle of a desert.

"Of course I know which desert. No, it's not the place where I abandon Plot Bunnies, Kyouya, that's very rude. No, it's just a big... um... Desert of Ideas. There's ideas here somewhere, I just have to find them. Sometimes they're really big and obvious, sometimes they're just a mirage off in the distance, and sometimes I walk right past them without realising because they look like a tree.

"What was that, Kyouya? No, ideas don't grow on trees. Some of them just look like trees. I know it's confusing. Now, has everyone got their blades? No-one's left them in their rooms? Or under a tree? Benkei, are you going to be Benkei or Caped Cow for the next chapter?

"Huh? What's so funny, Demure? Oh shut up, you know what I meant. Masked Bull, CapedCow, what's the difference? Everyone knows it's Benkei anyway. Nile, behave yourself or I'll accidentally-on-purpose direct you into Fangirl City. Yes, I know how to get there – I live there sometimes, so...

"No, you can't do that, Kyouya. I'm your author, you're not allowed to trash my house. Yes. Even if it's in Fangirl City. Especially if it's in Fangirl City because have you got any idea how difficult it is to get a house on Nonyaoi Boulevard? I spent a lot of time finding that house so don't you dare touch it.

"Can we just get on, please? Kyouya, have you got the map? Well, I gave it to you so you'd be the one with – back in the first village, of course. I – what do you mean lost it? Kyouya, can't you do anything right?

"No, no, no, Benkei, that wasn't a slight at your Kyouya-buddy... well, okay, it was, but that's because he's the one who causes most of the problems in this group. Yeah, I know you don't think so, but I'm the author and what I say goes. Yes, you are all acting according to my instructions, but that's really not the point, Demure.

"Right, what else was on the packing list? Blade, menacing clock, extra hambur... wait, what? Who wrote this? Kyo – Nile! Honestly, I know I proof-read everything twice before I let it out of my sight, but that's just ridiculous. I am not allowing you to bring a clock of any description, menacing or otherwise. You already have a menacing cloak. Yes, you do, because I gave you one. No, not that one – that one. Thank you. And Benkei, how did you get hold of my packing list as well? Nile. I should have guessed. Because you're the only one who eats hamburgers, that's how.

"What? Really? Oh, excellent! Are you sure it's an Idea, Demure? Yeah, I think you're right! Let's go and get it, quick, before it runs away!

"Pardon, Kyouya? Oh, sort of like a tortoise with jet engines. No, not rabbit-shaped. Don't ask about the engines, I don't know. All I know is that we need to get a move on or it'll vanish into the sunset. So let's get going.

"Thank you. Maybe this time it won't be a false alarm. I hope.

"By the way, Nile, Benkei said something rather interesting about what happened last Saturday... oi! Nile, come back! I can't get to the next chapter without you! Nile! NILE!"

My sincere apologies for this. I have no idea where it came from, and it scared away all my other Wild-Fang-related plot bunnies. I am still waiting for them to come back...