Warning: Severe fabulousness, hairiness, non-existence, glittery-ness, and loss (and then regainance) of evilness in this chapter.
Yes indeed, writers are allowed to make up any words they want. You should try it sometime, it's great fun.
Erestor flung the doors to the Mirkwood palace open. The guards, blood streaming from their noses, cowered away from him.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" came a fabulously loud voice, and Thranduil raised a fabulous eyebrow while fabulously uncrossing his legs from on top of his throne.
Erestor gasped when he saw the pink glitter that covered the entire room. Glorfindel had obviously been here! With another gasp, he rushed across the room, up the throne steps, and punched Thranduil in his fabulous face.
The Elvenking fell back with a fabulous shriek. "Why'd you do that?!"
Erestor whipped out a notebook and pencil and jotted something down. All victims so far show signs of horror and shock when confronted with reality – must go faster and stop Glorfindel from traumatizing everyone!
"Guards!" Thranduil howled, holding his fabulous bleeding nose. "Get him!"
The guards ran at Erestor, and he punched them in the face upon seeing the pink glitter that sprinkled their shoulders. They toppled over with a scream, and Erestor dashed away. At one point, he saw a strange little red-haired hairy hairball with Legolas – and horror of horrors! They had pink glitter all over them!
Erestor punched them in the face, then karate-chopped them across the back of their neck when they doubled over. He wasn't sure it really affected the red-haired hairy hairball, but at least he tried. Then he hurried away to find more of the people Glorfindel had traumatized, and hopefully stop Glorfindel himself!
A few feet away, Erestor found an elf sitting on the floor, glitter surrounding him and a very sad look on his face. He also had a concussion, given to him by Glorfindel, obviously maliciously.
"Good day, Galion," said Erestor, and punched him.
Galion blinked and then carefully dabbed at his bleeding lip. "Thank you."
Erestor scribbled in his notepad again. One innocent victim rescued from the clutches of unreality! Success with this one! Maybe I should aim for the mouth instead of the nose.
Erestor hurried away to find more people. He discovered a nonexistent red-haired elf along with two other random elves and punched the two random elves in the face since they had glitter on them. The red-head didn't have glitter, but he punched her anyway because she didn't help Galion mop.
Then he followed the trail of terrified spiders – they had almost been caught and hugged, but had fortunately gotten away in time – to somewhere with super tall black gates, lots of creepy dark clouds, and were rather cool, actually. They reminded him of Elladan and Elrohir.
He found a massive sign there that said 'Nazgûl Rocks!' right outside. A few feet away there was a group of nine wraiths, sitting around a table made up of smashed instruments. They were playing go-fish, since their mummies didn't allow them to play poker or gamble.
Erestor was shocked to find that these once-fearsome wraiths (they still had their creepy black cloaks on, luckily, and they even matched Erestor's!) were surrounded in heaps of pink glitter. It was horrible! Glorfindel had gone nuts here with his…his…ugh, Erestor shuddered to think of it – his traumatizing hugging!
He dashed over to them and lifted his fist to punch the first one, Fred, if he recalled correctly, in the face.
Fred looked up at him creepily. "No Man can punch me," he said in a raspy smug voice.
Erestor tossed his head. "I am no Man!" he said, and punched Fred in his invisible face.
Fred immediately turned evil. He gasped and looked around. "What are we doing?" he cried. "We're not even evil anymore!" Then he threw go-fish across the dead field and kicked something and stomped away.
The other eight Nazgûl stared at his creepy retreating back.
"Oh well," said one, and was about to return to his game when he was promptly sucker-punched in the face.
"Owwwww!" said the Nazgûl. "Duuuuude! That was mean!" Then he turned evil again too.
"I'm not Dude, you are," Erestor said. He punched the others in the face and then wrote down one sentence in his notebook.
It has even affected the most fearsome of creatures – this Terror Rampage must stop!
Ah, did I...? *looks at former chapter* I did. Ahem. *clears throat awkwardly*
EVERYONE I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS. FORGIVE ME. *bows at the feet of the Dark Lord of All*
THIS STORY WAS INSPIRED BY THIS RANDOM COMMENT: "Hey, what if Erestor went around punching everyone to un-traumatize them because of what Glorfindel did" or something of that ilk (correct me if I'm wrong, o thou mad genius thee) but basically...
THIS STORY WAS INSPIRED BY PIP THE DARK LORD OF ALL. THAT COMMENT WAS HERS. SO IF YOU LIKE THIS STORY, I'M THE ONE WHO WROTE IT. IF YOU DESPISE IT, IT WAS PIP'S IDEA.
Oh, look, I finally did an A/N that's about as long as the story. XD