Chapter Two:

I walk back to the bedroom quietly, and there I find Rose still peacefully asleep.

She sleeps wild - her body at an awkward angle, limbs going in every direction. Her hair is completely covering her face, and a few curls fly upward every time she puffs out a breath. She's so beautiful it almost hurts to look at her.

Then it actually hurts when I think about what happened to her.

I sit on the bed next to her, and she immediately turns toward me and rests her hand on my leg.

"I'm going to take care of you." I whisper as I stroke the curls away from her face. "I'll keep you safe, and do my best to make you happy - if you'll let me."

I don't care that she's asleep and doesn't hear me. My promises always carry the same weight.

Rose shifts again and I'm able to fully appreciate her figure.

She's fairly short, but she is ALL curves. Her breasts are round and full, and as she sleeps they're almost pushed up to her chin. Her nipples are hard and mouthwatering as they strain against my t-shirt she's wearing. And that t-shirt (my new all time favorite) has ridden up to her narrow waist, revealing a tiny mole next to her bellybutton as well as a couple of faded stretch marks. Her hips are wide set and they curve into a behind that is gloriously round and a pair of deliciously thick thighs.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, perfect - inside and out.

Rose leans further into my touch until she has her head in my lap and her arms around my torso. I lean down and kiss her head, over and over again. Touching her helps to calm me down, but it doesn't stop the thoughts that run through my head.

I'm going after Distler - that's definite, but I don't know what I'll do when I find him. Will I kill him? Will I make it a quick death or draw it out? Do I tell Rose that I know what happened to her? Do I tell her what I'm going to do?

My grip tightens around her as my unease roots deeper inside me.

"Steve," Rose mumbles against my thigh.

My breath catches.

"I'm here, honey."

Rose's eyes flutter open, and she smiles sleepily.

"Will you lay down with me?"

I nod and maneuver my way under the covers. My bed has never felt so warm and comfortable - not ever. As Rose drapes herself around me like a blanket, I realize that this is exactly what I want, what I've always wanted - a bed shared with a truly good woman. I only want this with her, though. Only with Rose.

She's asleep again after a few heartbeats and I feel myself following her quickly. This is a huge shock because I can never fall asleep easily. I toss and turn for hours on end until I'm eventually too exhausted to keep my eyes open.

...

I thought it would be the best sleep of my life, but I have never been so wrong.

I dream of Rose and Distler. I dream of her fighting, trapped beneath him, screaming for me - but I can't get to her. There are chains holding me back - keeping me helpless to do anything but watch.

I wake in a cold sweat, shaking, and gasping for breath.

Rose is still asleep, basically on top me - completely unaware. I look at the alarm clock on the bedside table and see that it's now 7:24 A.M..

Holy hell! We've slept for more than 12 hours! I can never sleep all the way through the night.

I slowly untangle my body from Rose's, get out of bed, and walk to the kitchen. There is a note lying on the counter.

Distler Defense and Consulting

633 Pike Street, Arlington, VA.

Meet you there at 8.

-B

Bucky's found him and at 8, he'll be in the background - there to help me clean up the mess if I kill Distler, or to guide my next steps if I allow him to live.

I move around the apartment quietly, preparing. I toy with the idea of wearing my uniform to intimidate him, but if I do kill him - I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention while doing it.

I choose a plain tee-shirt, leather jacket, blue jeans, and my black boots. I bring my shield, because it is as much a part of me as my arm.

When I'm ready, I walk back to the bedroom and gently shake Rose awake. She opens her eyes slowly, groaning with displeasure. She's definitely not a morning person.

"Sorry for getting you up so early," I say quietly, rubbing her back. "I've got an errand to run with Buck, and I didn't want you to wake up and be afraid to find me gone. It shouldn't take too long, but you'll get to sleep in. I'll be back in a little while."

I move to get up, but Rose grabs my hand suddenly and pulls me back down.

"Are you okay?" She mumbles, squinting at the light coming in from the hallway.

"Yeah honey, I'm fine."

"You seem a little ... off." Rose looks like she's studying me and that makes me nervous as hell. I'll tell her that I know what happened, of course, but only after I'm done with Distler. And I'm scared to death that if I ambush Rose with all of this, it will scare her and she'll run. I can't lose her. "Are we okay?"

I pull my hand from hers to stroke the hair away from her face and behind her ear, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"We're solid, Rose, I promise. I'm just a little distracted this morning ... Go back to sleep. When I get back, I'll treat you to some seriously good breakfast."

Rose chuckles and turns over, pulling the covers up to her chin.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mr. Rogers."

I laugh on my way out the door, making sure to lock all the bolts behind me. I don't think there's any threat to Rose here, but from now on - I am going to take every precaution with her.

I jog down to the garage of the building and jump on my bike. I'm really not a materialistic guy, but I'm pretty damn proud of my bike. It's restored (just like me, I guess) and I've tuned it to perfection. It glides through the streets faster and easier than you could hope to do in any sports car.

I'm outside of Distler's place in a matter of minutes. His office is huge - almost a skyscraper, and ostentatious with his name plastered on every available space.

Narcissist. Rapist.

The anger that's been growing inside me since last night, comes to a head as I walk through the revolving glass doors.

The receptionists behind the huge, marble desk look like supermodels - the kind of women Howard Stark used to date. I imagine Distler specifically sought that trait out when he was hiring ... I wonder if he's forced himself on them as well.

"Good morning, sir!" Supermodel #1 greets with a megawatt smile. "What can I help you with?"

"I'm here to see Distler."

#1 raises her eyebrows several inches.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," she frantically clicks at her computer, as Supermodel #2 flips through the appointment book in front of her. "I think we've had a scheduling error. Mr. Distler doesn't have any appointments today, and I'm afraid he doesn't see anyone without an appointment scheduled far in advance. If you'd like to set something up, I'd be happy to take down your information now and-"

"I'm Captain Steven Rogers. I don't have an appointment, but if Mr. Distler knows what's best for him - he'll see me."

Both Supermodels audibly gulp.

"I see, Mr. Rogers." #1 stammers, "I'll call Mr. Distler now, and inform him of the situation."

I nod as she hesitantly picks up the phone. She's definitely nervous, but I don't think that's entirely because of me. I'm sure that Distler is the type of man that doesn't tolerate surprises, and I'll bet these girls have been warned to ensure there aren't any.

I really don't pay attention to what she's saying, but after a few moments of anxious explanation, #1 hangs up the phone and nods at #2. Then #2 rises with a smile and leads me into an elevator. She tries to make polite conversation on the ride to the top floor, but I can barely hear her through the ringing in my ears. As the doors open, #2 directs me to Distler's office and I take off in a march.

I push open the large door without bothering to knock. Distler looks up from his laptop with unmasked surprise.

He's sitting down, but I can tell he's big. I'd say he's around 6'3, at least 240 pounds - and he's good looking. He's got tan skin, black hair cut short, and perfect teeth that are disturbingly white. As I'm looking at him, I can see the evil seeping through his exterior.

This is the kind of guy that easily, naturally intimidates people and he definitely uses that to his advantage.

You've got another thing coming if you think you're going to intimidate me, you sick fuck.

I move forward until I'm standing right in front of his desk. He rises from his seat and holds a hand out to me - he has some of the biggest hands I've ever seen.

He held Rose down with those hands - tore at her clothes, probably held one over her mouth to muffle her cries. He hurt my girl and he's going to pay for it.

Distler gives me a confused look, and drops his hand when I don't reach for it.

"It's an honor to meet you, Captain. I'm Thomas Distler," he says, motioning for me to sit down. "I'm incredibly star struck, but even more confused as to this surprise visit. What can I do for you?"

"You can tell the truth for the first time in your miserable life." I say, leaning forward and he cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. "And then I'll decide what to do with you."

"Excuse me?"

I look around the office - taking stock. Three of the walls are thick concrete, but the wall behind his desk is a huge glass window. The double doors have deadbolt locks and they are the only entry and exit point.

"Your office is very secure." I observe, "I'm sure you have the rest of the building bugged, but is this room wired as well?"

A wide smile spreads across his face and a deep laugh bubbles out of his throat.

"No it is not." He leans back in his chair, and crosses his arms over his chest. "We can speak as candidly as you wish. Are you here in regards to the S.H.I.E.L.D. officers I defended?"

"Hydra officers, you mean," I correct him. "But no, that's not why I'm here. You and I both know you're not going to prison, but I will hear you confess to what you've done."

"What I've done?"

"To Rose MacLeod." I grip the edge of his desk, and I hear the wood splintering under my hands. "If you ask who she is, I'm going to throw you from that window right now."

"Ah," Distler nods slowly and when he looks at me, I see a dark glint in his eyes. "What I did to Rose MacLeod. Tell me something - are you asking about my college indiscretions out of a sense of patriotic duty, or is it more personal than that? What exactly is your interest?"

"Rose is mine now, and I want to hear the truth about what you did to her."

He throws his head back and laughs loudly with an incredulous look.

"I'll be damned! Rose is dating Captain America? ... I guess Rosie's really climbing the ladder now, isn't she?"

DON'T FUCKING CALL HER THAT!

I slowly breathe out through my nose - desperately trying to keep calm. I have to hear him confess.

"There isn't a single thing I wouldn't do to eliminate a threat to Rose. Not. One. Thing. You've hurt her once, but you will NEVER do so again."

"I hurt her, did I? Is that what Rose told you?"

"You're going to deny that you pulled her away from a party while she was drunk and raped her?"

"No, I won't deny it. Though I do think rape is a pretty harsh term for what happened." Distler leans back again and heaves a deep sigh. "You want the story, Captain? Here it is - from my sophomore year at Georgetown until commencement, I was president of the Alpha Kappa Psi fraternity. Jesus, we had so many parties they all blurred together after a while. But I remember the party Rose came to explicitly ... I had seen her around campus a handful of times. She was such a shy little thing - never speaking to anyone, but she's not the kind of girl you forget. She's quite beautiful, isn't she? ... Anyway, I was surely interested in her, but not enough to pursue it. If you haven't figured it out yet Rogers, I'm not the kind of man who has to pursue women. They come to me. They always have, with the exception of Rose.

"The night of the party, she showed up alone - already half wasted and looking for more. She downed cup after cup, didn't even care what was handed to her. She was plastered after thirty minutes and after an hour - I'd never seen anyone that drunk and still conscious ... I'm sorry for the bluntness of this, but it is what it is. Girls who go to frat parties and get that drunk, want to get fucked. They're begging for it ... To be honest, I knew Rose was a prude and would make a fuss in the morning. That's why I took her out to the back gardens instead of my room. When I kissed her, she cried. Good lord, all she did was cry, but she didn't push me away ... It wasn't until I got her down on the ground that she started to fight.

"Call me a sick bastard if you want, but being pushed away only made me want it more ... Fuck, she fought like hell. She bit and scratched and pushed and kicked with everything she had. She gave me this scar with one of her fingernails." He points to a subtle scar, scaling the length of his eyebrow and down his temple. "She didn't last until the end though. She quit fighting it after a while, and then she passed out right before I finished. I didn't realize I was her first, until I pulled out and saw the blood. Honestly, that made it even sweeter - knowing I was the first man to be inside her, the first to have my eyes roll back in my head from how tight she was ... In the eyes of the law, yes, I did rape her. I know that, but I also know that as much as Rose loves to have a sob story - she wanted it.

"Captain, I have never claimed to be a good man - I'm not - but for all the wrong I've done, I've never lied. If my lawyer had allowed me to testify when Rose pressed charges, I would have gladly told the judge the same account I just told you ... It's for the best that he didn't allow me to do so, because I'm not a man who would bear prison well ... I hold no ill will toward Rose MacLeod - I wish her every happiness. I hope that puts your mind at ease ... And now, judging from the look in your eye, I imagine you're deciding the best way to kill me. I know you're a hero Captain Rogers, everyone knows that. I know you feel like you have to kill me in order to put the world's scales of justice back in balance, but you're wrong. I have no intention of ever seeing or approaching Rose again, and she surely is taking measures not to see me ... It really astounds me that she's toiled so hard for a law degree, but she has no intention to practice because of the small chance she might run into me in a courtroom.

"You need to understand that I'm a powerful man Captain - significantly less famous than you, but just as powerful. So if you throw me from my window or strangle me or bludgeon me to death with your shield - there will be consequences. The name Captain America will mean nothing, and neither your good deeds nor the Avengers will be able to protect you. If you kill me, the best case scenario is you getting life in prison - forever tarnishing your honorable reputation; the worst case is you being killed. Either option separates you from Rose. And with you out of her life, she'll be all alone again. I know for a fact that, that isn't what you want ... Now you have all the facts and possible outcomes, Rogers. Hopefully they will lead you to a wise decision."

I unstrap my shield holster from my back, and as the metal hits the ground - I launch myself at him.

It's like everything is moving in slow motion and fast forward at once. I hit him over and over, ignoring the fact that there's blood everywhere and my arm is numb and his face is unrecognizable. I keep hitting him.

Girls like that - they want to get fucked. They're begging for it ... I knew she'd make a fuss in the morning ... She quit fighting after awhile ... She didn't last until the end ... I didn't realize I was her first until I pulled out and saw the blood ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... He hurt Rose. He raped her. He has to die.

I can't feel my arm at all now - it's like it's not even connected to my body anymore. The rage is still burning. Now matter how many bits of bone I see flying, the anger isn't fading.

"Steve! Steve, enough!" Buck's voice sounds from above me, like he's on the surface and I'm underwater. "Steve! He's gone! ENOUGH! It's done! Stop! STOP!"

Something like a sledgehammer hits me in the side, and I go flying to the other end of the office. The force of the blow sent me almost all the way through the drywall.

Buck is in front of me, crouched low with his arms outstretched - the way one would approach a wild animal. Maybe that's what I am now - an animal. I don't care. Distler deserves worse.

She wanted it ... She wanted it ...

I get to my feet and Buck braces his body.

"Listen to me, Steve." He says it in a calm voice, trying to talk me down. "Distler is dead, you killed him. You got him to confess, and now he's dead. He won't hurt her again. I cleared the servers and terrified the girls out front - you and I were never here. I'll take care of the body and clean up. Go home, Steve ... Go home to Rose. Go."

"He hurt Rose. He hurt her." I have to make Buck understand what the vermin has done. I have to make him understand.

"I know, I heard." Buck nods, walking me toward the door. "I was on the roof of the building across the street, I heard everything. I came when you tackled him. I've got this, Steve. I disabled the cameras on this floor - go out the fire escape. Go home. I'll meet you there later."

Buck gives me a final shove and closes the door in my face.

I'm in a daze as I walk toward the exit. I've never lost control like this - not with the Nazis, Hydra, Loki's army, S.H.I.E.L.D. - not once. Right now, I'm sure I don't even look like the Steve Rogers I was yesterday.

I need to see Rose. I need to get back to her and tell her what happened. I have to tell her I killed Distler, because I know Rose won't tolerate dishonesty or me hiding things from her, and I can't bear the thought of losing her. She'll be able to help me understand all of this.

I pick up the pace to a sprint and am almost to the apartment when I remember I promised her breakfast.

She needs food and I can't turn up empty handed, so I change my course to the local diner Buck and I always frequent for breakfast.

Lucy's Homemade

The subtle sign is an apt representation of the traditional and classic restaurant inside. Buck and I love it here so much because it reminds us of our time; the main customers are the old timers, the food is great and not too fancy, the atmosphere is relaxed and happy. Lucy - the owner - is well into her seventies, but still incredibly active. She's always fluttering around the place, laughing with customers, and singing along to the radio. She's always sending extra food home with Buck and I because she knows we can't cook, and she worries about us 'going hungry'. It's kind of like having a mother again.

The bell chimes as I walk through the door, and Lucy pokes her head out the kitchen - long, white hair pulled back in a braid.

"Hi, Steve!" She smiles and starts loading plates onto her tray to deliver to the tables. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Bucky couldn't make it this morning?"

"Hey, Luce." I quickly shove my hands in my pockets, suddenly aware of the broken skin and dripping blood. The smile I'm faking feels foreign on my face, but I've got to keep up appearances. "Buck had some um ... work to do this morning. Can I ask a huge favor?"

"Name it, sugar."

"I've got a friend at home who needs some of your famous breakfast."

"A lady friend?" Lucy cocks and eyebrow at me with a grin.

"Yes, mom. It's a lady friend and I promised I'd come home with food. Can you help me out?"

Lucy chuckles and runs back to the kitchen. I grab a seat on a stool at the bar and take a deep breath. Two old guys are sitting in the corner, arguing about chess strategy, and I intently listen to their conversation - doing anything to keep my dark thoughts from taking root in my mind.

After a few minutes and many heated words about the best position for a rook, Lucy returns from the kitchen sporting two large bags filled with to-go boxes.

"Wow, Luce." I whistle, "I thought I told you it was a girl, not an entire army!"

"Listen here, Rogers. You can never be too prepared when it comes to a lady, especially a lady you're trying to impress."

I nod and reach for my wallet.

"No, no." Lucy shoves the bags toward me. "We'll settle up at the end of the week - same as we always do. Now go on back to your girl. And Steve - get some rest. You look real worn, handsome."

I lean over the bar to give her a kiss on the cheek before grabbing the bags and walking out. I keep my pace to a jog because I don't know what Lucy made and I don't want to spill or ruin any of it.

I'm back at the apartment after about ten minutes, and I feel a sudden plight of nerves as I walk through the door. Rose is sitting on the ground in the living room, surrounded by books - some hers, some mine. Her light hair is piled messily on top of her head, and she's wearing a pair of large tortoise framed glasses that keep sliding down her nose.

Stunning.

I stand in the doorway for a minute, just drinking her in. She reads the way a starving man eats; quickly scanning the pages with a joyous look on her face, and then she'll set one book down and grab another. I've never seen someone so perfectly content.

I suddenly become aware that I'm staring at her like a damn stalker, and she must be starving. I shake my head and close the door.

Rose's head snaps up and she looks over her shoulder at me, smiling brilliantly.

"Morning, gorgeous." I wink at her as I set the bags down on the counter.

"Good morning." She replies, a scarlet blush working its way up her throat. "Sorry about the mess. I get pretty manic when I read."

"Don't apologize! I love seeing you here, completely in your zone. What time did you get up?"

"Oh, I guess about an hour or so ago." She's trying to stand which isn't easy considering the mountain of books around her and her injured leg. I immediately move across the room and pick her up, carrying her to the table. "Thanks. I laid in bed for a while, too comfy to move, but then I really wanted to read. I limped my way in here to grab my books, but my leg buckled on the way back to the bedroom. I've been chilling here since then."

WHAT? She's been stranded on the floor for an hour?

"Are you okay? You could've been seriously hurt, Rosie! Are you in pain?"

"I'm fine, Steve, I promise." She says, "I kind of forgot about it, so I wasn't really paying attention. It hurts a little, but I think that's pretty normal."

I grab the Tylenol from the cabinet above the sink and hand her three with a glass of water.

"It's anti-inflammatory so it should help the swelling as well." Rose downs the pills quickly and looks toward the boxes. "I stopped by my favorite food joint to pick up some breakfast. I know the owner pretty well, and she makes the best breakfast. I hope you're hungry."

"Starving."

I grab all of the boxes and the silverware and bring them back to the table. The first box I flip open is biscuits and sausage gravy, with sides of bacon and fresh fruit. Rose squeals and licks her lips and I can tell that this is one of her favorites.

I set the box and a fork in front of her and she digs right in.

"You're a biscuits and gravy fan?" I ask curiously. I want to know every little thing about her.

"I love it," she moans as she takes another bite. "I ate it all the time growing up. Da could never make pancakes, but biscuits and gravy were his specialty."

I open the next box and find Lucy's famous scrambled eggs and sausage links. Perfect.

I feel Rose's eyes on me, and it's making me incredibly nervous. She's so smart, and I know that she can see that something's wrong.

I just need to spit it out. I don't want to start this - whatever this is - with lies. I've invaded her privacy and went behind her back, and I can only hope she'll be able to understand that I did it for her. I hope she forgives me. Oh God, what if she can't? What if she walks away?

"Steve, can you please tell me what's going on?" Rose fidgets in her chair, looking close to tears. "Did I do something?"

With a huge, shaky sigh, I lay my bloody hands on the table in front of her. Her eyes become twice as big and her mouth drops open with a shocked sound.

Huh, I guess they do look pretty bad.

"Oh. My. God. Steve!" Rose shrieks as she leans forward to get a better look, touching gently. "What happened? What did you do?"

Now or never, Rogers.

"I know about Thomas Distler." I say and every ounce of color drops from Rose's face. Her entire body starts to tremble and her shaking is rattling me to my bones. "I don't want to start this ... relationship, I guess ... with lies. So the truth is - there are very few people in my life that I can trust. I've been betrayed and lied to, so many times it doesn't even faze me anymore. I never doubted you for a minute Rose, so please don't think that ... But Bucky reminded me that there have been many people planted in my life by my allies and my enemies. I gave Buck the go-ahead to do a background check on you - just because it would ease his mind. Everything he found on you was clean and perfect, as I knew it would be, but then he found that sealed file ... He told me what Distler did to you, and I couldn't bear it. I am so truly sorry, Rose. I know I invaded your privacy and hid things from you, and I'm sure you would've told me in your own time, but I was just so angry."

Rose has stream after stream of tears running from her eyes, but otherwise her face is completely blank. I can't tell what she's thinking or feeling, and it's driving me insane. I'll do whatever I have to do to fix this - anything. Rose sniffs quietly and gives me a 'go on' motion.

"This morning, I went to Distler's office." Rose's eyes snap between my injured hands and my face and back again, blinking. "I confronted him about what happened, and he told me what he did. What he said ... Rose, I don't have to tell you that the man is a monster ... I think I knew I was going to kill him when I went there, but I've never lost control that way before, I swear to God. I don't want you to think of me as just some mindless killer - I'm not, but I couldn't let him live Rose. I just-"

"You killed him?" Rose interrupts, narrowing her eyes at me. "You killed Distler?"

Slowly, I nod and hold up my hands to show her what I killed him with.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble? You'll go to prison, Steve! ... You don't understand. Distler is best friends with some very, very powerful people. He spends all of his time with congressmen and top ranking officials, and he pays off everyone else! Now that you've killed him, they'll come after you, and being arrested will be the least of your worries."

I shake my hand and her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

"I covered my tracks well, honey." I place one of my hands on top of hers, and to my delight - she doesn't pull away - but she doesn't return my actions, either. "I've never been very good at sneaking around or staying under the radar, but Bucky is an expert. He's taking care of everything now. Nothing is going to happen to either of us, Rose. I promise you - please, trust me.

"Why should I?" She snaps.

God, this is it. She doesn't want anything to do with me now. I've broken her trust, and to her, honesty means everything. Please, PLEASE don't let it be over!

"I deserve that," I pull my hand away. "I lied to you, but you have to understand that it was just a lie of omission. Rose, what I did to Distler-"

"I don't give a fuck about Distler, Steve!" She shouts and I jump at the severity of it. "I'm happy he's dead ... but you have no right to act like you understand all of it. You have NO IDEA what it's like to be taken advantage of like that - to have someone hold you down and use you in the most intimate of ways like you're just an object ... I was so stupid, Steve ... I went to that party because I wanted to get drunk, I wanted to drink until I could forget about the guilt and all the pain and that came along with losing my father. I could have went and gotten booze and came back to my apartment, but I couldn't stomach all the silence ... I'd been thinking about killing myself for a while. I wanted to die, I really did, and I would just sit in my room and think about all the ways I would end it.

"I decided the best way was just to drink until I got alcohol poisoning and then keep drinking. I never thought that someone would use that to their advantage ... I don't remember getting pulled away from the party. My memory starts when he pushed me to the ground and climbed on top of me ... I'd never had sex before, and if there's any silver lining it's that the booze numbed some of the pain ... I passed out and when I woke up, I was in the hospital with a stomach pump, surrounded by police ... the person who found me and took me to the hospital was one Distler's fraternity brothers - Sam O'Callaghan.

"I'd never met Sam before, never even seen him before; but he stayed with me the whole time, just holding my hand to show me I wasn't alone. He didn't owe me anything, and he certainly had no obligation to take care of me, but he did. I've never been so grateful for anyone in my entire life ... I knew I had been raped, I felt it, but I couldn't give the police a name. In my mind, the guy who hurt me was just a big, dark figure and I guess that was another side effect of the alcohol ... Sam was the one who told the police it was Distler - he'd heard him come back inside to the party, boasting about how he got little Rose MacLeod into bed, and how much of a wildcat I was. I scratched his face so deep it left a scar, and Sam was the only one smart enough to realize that something was wrong.

"My doctors performed all the tests and the police asked me if I wanted to press charges - I said yes. They arrested Distler at the frat house, and his daddy had him out on bail within hours ... I was in the hospital for a week and a half, and Sam spent every day with me. He became my best friend, and he told he that he would do whatever he could to help me ... My case didn't go to court for six months, and in that time, Distler made Sam's life a living hell. He'd found out that Sam was the one who identified him as the rapist, and he tormented him for it. Sam lived at the frat house, and Distler set up cameras all over his room. Sam was gay and Distler had hours of recordings of him with his boyfriend - some of it innocent, and some extremely private.

"Distler told Sam he'd send the videos to Sam's father and release them on every public outlook he could - if Sam didn't go to the police and rescind his statement. Sam's father was in the military, a real hard-ass, with zero tolerance for homosexuality. Sam would've been disowned and publicly humiliated - his life would've been over ... When he told me what was happening, I begged him to just go along with Distler's demands. I told him I'd figure out a way to make sure Distler was punished on my own, and that I couldn't bear to see such a wonderful guy torn apart because of me, but Sam was too loyal for his own good. He told me he wouldn't betray me like that, and he wouldn't lie for Distler regardless of the consequences ... Distler released the tapes, and the outcome was so bad, Sam killed himself two weeks later.

"I was so devastated and so guilty. My father died because I wasn't there, and my best friend died because he was trying to help me ... Sam left me a note and told me that he loved me and he didn't regret his choice, but he couldn't bear the way people would whisper and laugh as he would walk to class, and the way his father looked at him as though he were a parasite ... God, Steve. He was the sweetest and most kind person I have ever met. He'd never hurt a fly, and Distler and all of his ugliness just squeezed every ounce of life and happiness from him ... When we finally went to court, Distler's father spared no expense in getting him the best defense attorney in the country.

"They said that I went to party, got drunk and sought Distler out. They essentially called me a dirty whore who begged for it, and then cried rape to try and get a settlement from Distler's family money and attention from the media. That courtroom was a nightmare ... You know how it resulted - I was just happy it was over. When Patrick Distler started making a stramish about sealing the files, I was just fine with it ... Steve, I don't care about Distler or what you did to him. I've tried to move on from what happened, and I've done as best I can.

"I haven't been with anyone since Distler raped me, and I haven't even come close to dating. I have a hard time letting my guard down and trusting people not to take advantage of me. I know you would never push me into something that made me uncomfortable or hurt me intentionally - I know that ... But Steve, I am absolutely crazy about you. You're probably going to think that I'm one of those psycho girls who gets too attached too fast, but I think I might be falling in love with you ... I want to see how this thing will work out between us, but to do that - I have to be able to trust you. I don't mind that you ran a background check on me, I'm really not that interesting of a person, but it hurts me that you didn't ask me about Distler or told me what you were going to do before you left. From now on - you've got to talk to me and let me in, and I'll try to do the same."

Holy Shit! She loves me and she wants to try ... And I want to kill Distler all over again.

"Thank you so much for giving me another chance, Rose." I say as I lift her from her chair to sit on my lap. "I'm sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry for what happened to you and what happened to your friend. You need to know - I'm not going to let anything happen to you. From now on, it's you and me and you've got the protection of everything that comes along with me. I'll take care of you."

Rose leans in and then her lips are on mine. The tears left on her cheeks transfer onto mine as she strains to get closer and closer. She's holding onto me with a death-grip as if she's desperate, and I know I sure as hell am by the way I'm pushing against her.

God, she's writhing on my lap and rocking back and forth and I really can't take it for too much longer. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I set my hands on her shoulders and push her away.

"What?" She pants, her brown eyes glazed over and cheeks flushed bright red. "What's wrong?"

"I'm a man, honey." I look down at my lap and she follows my gaze, her eyes widen and her cheeks turn a shade of deeper red. "We need to slow down or I'm likely to burst into flame. I don't want to rush you into anything - especially not right now."

"No, Steve." Rose growls, her eyes suddenly focused and her mouth set in a thin line. "Don't go there - I'm not going to break because of what Distler did. He took me by force and crossed every boundary I had, but I know the difference between a man like him and a man like you. I know that you would never force me or push me, but Steve, this has to be my choice. Men have tried to get with me since I was raped, and I've said no to all of them - not out of fear, but because I didn't want them. I want you. I trust you enough to give you my body, because I know you won't hurt me. I know you're old fashioned Steve, but don't turn me away. You want me, I know it and I can feel it ... Please."