Author's note: Mild-to-medium smut alert. Category: pathetic wanking

Every time he closed his eyes, ugly thoughts began to roll around in is mind again, the business of the day taking precedence over resting. He avoided mirrors, but he couldn't ignore his steward telling him his cheeks were hollow, or Aang frowning at the dark circles under his eyes.

Druk's sleep cycle, two days waking and one sleeping, was going to kill him. Not that he'd trade the experience of bonding with a dragon for the world; when the Sun Warriors told him he was the hatchling's guardian, and that the little dragon had imprinted on him when he's touched its egg all those years before, it was one of the most surreal and incredible moments of his life.

But then they'd gotten home, and they had no idea what Druk would eat, or how he was supposed to sleep, or how fast he'd grow. Apparently, all of that varied from dragon to dragon, so they had to figure it out as they went. Worst of all, when the tiny red dragon had finally settled into a sleep cycle, it was the worst possible combination with Zuko's duties as Firelord.

It felt like he never slept anymore. Even when he got the chance, he couldn't sleep. Like now. It was midnight, Druk had settled down for a one-day snooze, and Zuko was staring at his stupid canopy in his stupid bed and he wanted to die a little.

He hadn't been relaxed since that night with Toph. He closed his eyes on the red-and-gold embroidered canopy, trying to summon up an image of her.

...she was small and bright, her eyes like precious jade, deep and shallow at once, looking straight into your soul. She was nearly always smiling sardonically. Unflappable.

But he remembered her licking her lips nervously, her eyelids fluttering closed. The sound of her moan, hesitant and surprised. Her back had arched and her hips had ground against his hand, and he'd felt shivers run through her body. She was steely and undefeatable anywhere else, but in his bed she was soft and vulnerable, and he loved every moment, loved that she trusted him with this side of herself, loved that he had this effect on her, loved that in bed, she was so gentle and he was so harsh.

He grunted and turned onto his stomach. He didn't need to have these kinds of thoughts right now. Flipping over was a mistake; his erection was trapped under him at an odd angle now. He reached between the mattress and his abdomen to adjust himself.

With his eyes closed, it could almost be...

No, it really couldn't. Not with his huge, callused hands and overenthusiasm. He remembered the healers smirking when they told him he'd hyperextended his elbow, back when he was first Firelord, and how much he'd wanted to fucking die at that moment. They knew exactly how he'd gotten that injury, of course. It didn't help that he'd been irregular with his workouts that first year, and only his right arm had maintained its definition until he evened them back out with balanced training later. He groaned into his pillow at the humiliating memory.

At least Toph was kind enough to let him pretend to be cool once in a while, though he was really the one awed by her. It wasn't just how terrifying she was, though Zuko was certainly partial to a woman who could beat him in a fight. It wasn't just her personality, either, though that was what he loved most about her.

...It was that ass. He hadn't wanted to make her uncomfortable the first time they were together, so he'd been as gentle and patient as he could, focusing completely on her with only his hands and his mouth. But damn, he wanted to slam his hips into that round ass over and over again. Her hair was long and luxurious, plenty long enough to wrap around his hand and pull her back, her body arched away from him. His body would be growing hotter as his passion flowed unchecked, fire in his veins; he'd lean forward and...

He growled and flipped onto his back again, so hard it was throbbing against his abdomen, almost painful.

He wanted her so badly, in every way; why was he focusing on the ways that heated his blood? He wanted to talk to her, to hold her, to spar with her out in the training yard, to make adorable little babies with her and raise them to be happy. He wanted her to meet Druk. He wanted to hear her thoughts on everything. He...

He wanted to make her whimper, and moan, and scream his name, his real name.

With a groan, he reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock. Needless to say, his hand knew what to do.

I'm twenty four years old and engaged, he told himself. I'm the Firelord, for fuck's sake. I don't need to jack off in my own stupid bed.

It was too late. He was jacking off in his own stupid bed.

This room probably hadn't seen much of this kind of action, in its time. The Firelord's bedchamber was an ancient room, luxuriously built, and usually occupied by cranky old men. There were at least four passages to other chambers in the wing, too, for the Firelord's wife and concubines. Good thing he'd filled those rooms with his idiot friends and let his fiance just leave.

"Fuck," he groaned, rolling onto his chest. Angling his open fist below his body, he thrust into his hand, squeezing harder than necessary. It had taken a long time for her to take one finger in, and she had even more trouble with two; she was going to be so, so tight. He'd have to be careful until she got used to him. (Not that his size was anything special, but he could pretend.) Closing his eyes tightly, he pictured it, shivering as he-

There was a knock at the door.

"WHAT?" Zuko shrieked, flipping into his back, kicking off the covers, and putting on his robe. Good thing it was huge and not too clingy.

The door cracked open slowly, very slowly. "Heeeey, buddy. Mind if I come in?"

"I can't believe this," he muttered to himself. "Yeah. Come in, Aang."

He slipped in the door and closed it quietly behind him. "Um, did you have someone in here?"

"No," Zuko said, frowning. "Why?"

"So you were the one who screamed like a girl when I knocked on the door?" Aang grinned, flopping into one of the chairs in the sitting area

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt a migraine coming on. "What do you want, Aang?"

His friend sobered quickly. "It's not about me, it's about you. We're all really concerned about the state you're in."

No, no, no. This was his hyperextended elbow all over again. He wanted to die. How could they fucking tell? "Aang, it's no big deal. The wedding is in two months. Toph will be back by then."

"No offense, but...do you think she's going to be much help? She sees through the earth. The fire is going to throw her off."

"Uhhh..." Zuko wished the blood had returned to his brain, already. He was still slow on the uptake, and lack of sleep wasn't helping, either. "That's pretty advanced for a beginner, Aang. I mean, I enjoy adding a little fire to spice th-"

"No, it isn't," Aang interrupted. For a fleeting moment Zuko was alarmed; and then his friend continued, "Druk already breathes some fire, and he'll be flying before you know it. I mean, I'm sure Toph's going to be a great dragon mom, but she can't really keep an eye on him while he's flying."

"Oh, Druk! You...you're talking about Druk. Oh, because I haven't been sleeping, because of...yeah."

There was a long, uncomfortable moment while the friends locked eyes. Zuko looked away first.

"Yeeeeeeeaaaah," Aang said. "Soooooo, about Druk. Katara thinks you should look into finding a keeper for him. You can't be the Firelord and keep up this crazy dragon care schedule."

"I think I'm doing alright," Zuko said weakly.

"Um," said Aang. "No offense, but you're kind of losing your grip on reality. There's nothing wrong with letting people who care about you help you out."

"Yeah," said Zuko, running both hands through his hair. It was past his shoulders now, stringy and tangled after forty hours of being awake. "You're right, Aang. Thanks."

"Katara and I are going to stay until the wedding, so we can watch Druk some of the time. And in the meantime we can find someone you trust to be his handler. Oh yeah! One more thing." Reaching into his orange-and-yellow robes, he withdrew a small rolled piece of paper. "This came in a few minutes ago. That's why I decided to have this talk with you now."

"Uh," said Zuko, unrolling the paper. A set of raised dots, and they were sloppy; that meant Toph. His heart beat hard and fast in his ears as he slowly deciphered the code. "She's going to Yu Dao. She...that must mean she wants me to meet her. Right?"

Aang shrugged "Sounds like it. Are you going to go?"

"She wouldn't ask unless she needs me. If you and Uncle will stay here while I'm gone, of course I'll go see her."

Aang frowned. "Are you sure you can do that without...you know...dying of sleep deprivation? And she didn't actually ask."

"If you give me a ride on Appa, that means we don't have to leave for a couple of weeks," he said, massaging his temples. That migraine. "It'll be the Fire Festival in Yu Dao by then. That gives me enough time to recover."

"Yeah, I guess Appa and I can give you a ride," Aang said, "if you're doing well by then."

"I will be," Zuko said quickly.