My eyes snap open. I look up and see the ash cloud. And something I haven't seen in a while. Bluer sky. It's just beyond the rim! I shake my head in disbelief as I get up and violently shake the ash off of my coat. It was all just a dream. I exhale slowly as my chest falls. Phoenix isn't dead yet, and neither am I. I fling my head up into the air in a howl.
The wind sweeps through my fur as I stumble onwards, relentless. I still had someone to love. They weren't all gone yet. And I need to find him. The wind howls, blowing the ash in a flurry of swirls. I duck my head and flatten my ears. I breathe shallowly, trying to inhale as little as possible. My feet falter from a mix of the gusts and weakness. Instantly, I perk my ears. Water. The sound of it cascading over the land is prominent. I careen towards to the sound. The ash suddenly dips, a small creek lays between. It's running fast enough to clear the rocky particles out of the way, which means it should be relatively clean.… Without a second thought, I dip my head into the crisp water.
The waves tumble down my throat, searing it. But my body quenches for more of it, and I obey. I indulge in the water for as long as I can, until I know it's time to leave. I elevate my head to an even level as I sluggishly cross the creek. My waterlogged stomach slows me down as I walk towards the north. Phoenix, please… please let me find you. I whimper as my stomach rumbles, craving for nutrition and food to fill it. I leave the creek behind as I continue my journey. My life is now dependent on whether or not I find sustainable food—or any at all. I haven't even seen another creature besides wolves and birds. The chances of finding food are slim.
I instantly perk my ears at a howl. Like the dream. My eyes widen as I bound forwards through the snow, creating circles several whinxes apart. I race by a voice. I screech to a halt. Phoenix? I wheel around.
"Bandit—" I hear a bark before the rest of the words become muffled as the wolf leaps on me. It backs away. It is Phoenix. He looks bedraggled, but doubtlessly no worse than what I must look like.
"Phoenix," I say with a smile. I lean forward to give him a kiss, but he raises a paw.
"Ash," he says in a crusty voice. But I don't care. We have been separated for hours, and that's too long… Phoenix laughs as I try again, but he leaps away. Unawares, the ash disappears and grass and flowers sprout from the ground. I chase Phoenix through the tall, lush grass and poppies. Bumblebees float in the air clumsily, their fat bodies swaying with the gentle breeze. I trip and everything turns back to reality. Ash, ash, and more ash. I get up, the grey powder settling on my back just in time to get shaken off. Phoenix chuckles. It's probably bad for us to laugh in this predicament, but who cares? We're together, and that's all I've longed for for an eternity. Or so it feels.
"Come on, Bandit. When we became disunited, I found a herd of elk. I killed one, but there are still at least three. You look like you haven't eaten at all."
"That's because I haven't," I state. Phoenix shakes his head, a smile fiddling with his lips. "What?"
"Nothing. C'mon, hurry!" I take great leaps, making sure to do anything but procrastinate. If Phoenix can find the herd, than I can get a meal. Which means that the odds will lean into my favor. Then he stops. I turn around, confused. "Where's Shadow," his words are solicitous. I choke back the tears. Just as I was forgetting everything else bad that had ever happened to me, Phoenix has to bring this up. I let out an asphyxiated sigh. I can feel the tribulation strangling me from the inside out. "Bandit?" Phoenix questions. I shift my weight on my feet, and angle my head away from my mate.
"He's—Shadow… he um…" I stop and let a few drops of salty water come from my eyes. I take a breath in. I have to tell him, whether he had figured it out or not. "He's… gone."
"Gone?" Phoenix asks slowly. Then his face changes. He understands now, but I'm already screaming the words at him. It would be almost funny to think about how much emotions can twist your life around—if it weren't for the fact that it's true.
"HE'S DEAD!" I wail. Once more, hatred towards myself flows through my veins. I wish that the dream I had when my mother died was real. I wish I had jumped off of that cliff with her. But I hadn't even been there, so why bother wishing?
Phoenix dips his head. I look away, ashamed at myself for my loss of control yet again. But I yet again don't know what there is to live for, now that Phoenix probably think I'm grihl again. I wish I hadn't found him. We both were better off alone.
The sound of an elk pulls me viciously away from my thoughts. Good riddance. Phoenix signals me to stay put as he charges the elk, his teeth tearing into its rump. The old, weakened elk falls on the ground, a flurry of ashes springing up high into the sky as it lands. Phoenix bites its throat again and again until it lays there, motionless. Like Shadow. I warily bend closer to it, my nose sniffing its weathered body. I take a bite and immediately reach its ribs. So nothing else out here is in any better shape than Phoenix and I are.
I feast on the tough meat, my teeth tearing into it mercilessly. The blood trickles down my throat, warming it. I smile as I look at Phoenix. He grins back.
"Sorry," I say for the millionth time.
"It's okay, Bandit." Phoenix licks my head softly, his tongue caressing my fur.
I get up and we continue our journey through the barren wasteland. Northward, towards the bluer sky. Towards hope.
A/N: Haha, please don't get to angry about me letting you all think Bandit died. Well, at least she's not dead, right? Count your blessings, because I decided to make this story shorter than I was going to. If I had made it longer, there would be more deaths, so let's all hope that I don't change my mind again and decide to make it longer by writing an aftermath!
Please review!