As Appa landed in the palace courtyard, Toph realized, to her own surprise, that she was glad to be back. She had no intention of staying in the palace for the entirety of her life, but it didn't feel like the annoying prison she expected.
The gang was all there, and they had to have a group hug, of course. Aang and Katara wouldn't let the other four escape without that. Zuko's steward and a few other people weren't far behind.
"You've gotta tell me everything," Katara said.
"You're still here?" Toph asked, punching her lightly in the shoulder. "Get a life."
"With the earthquake and everything, we were staying in the Fire Nation for a while, anyway. And by the time Zuko left to get you, it seemed like might as well stay until the wedding. We have to start getting ready," Katara reminded her.
"You're the big sister I never wanted," said Toph. "You know that?"
"My lord!" The steward had hurried over, and, out of breath, now bowed to Zuko. "Would you care for your briefing now, or later?"
"Now," said Zuko. "But first tell me where Druk and my mother are."
"The Lady Ursa has not arrived yet," he said, "and Druk has just fallen asleep."
Zuko nodded, and from the shift in his weight, Toph guessed he was looking at her. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I know," she said. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming, but so many people were watching them, and that made it weird. She rolled her shoulders back, one at a time, and made a face, brows sky-high. "I'll see you later."
He hesitated, then took a half-step towards her and kissed her forehead. It was possibly the most awkward thing that could have happened.
All the officials left with Zuko, and Toph was left with their friends.
"Well, that was weird," said Sokka.
"Oh, shut up. First you're bitching that we're 'oogie,' and now you're bitching that we're 'weird.'" Toph made a shooing motion with her hands. "Let's all go get some food; I'm starving. And then we need to get this wedding on the road so you can all fuck off and go home."
—
She would never admit it to anyone, but there was one thing about palace life that Toph enjoyed, and that was having her hair washed. On the road it was impossible to do anything but ignore it, and even when she had the chance to wash it herself, it was simply not easy to do it without eyesight. Her hair hung down to the base of her spine, thick and unruly, and while her parents' servants had cooed over it, they'd done so with pity. Their little blind mistress, of course, would stay secluded from the world and no one would ever be able to appreciate her beautiful hair.
Well, they were half right. It was doubtful that anyone appreciated it when she kept it wrapped into a bun and covered in dust most of the time.
After they ate, Katara had led her to the rooms that traditionally belonged to the Firelord's wife. Iroh had had them prepared while she was gone, it seemed, and they were a sprawling collection of chambers that included rooms for servants and children. It all seemed like a pain in the ass, but there was a fountain to wash hair in, and two servants who were ready to tackle combing it out for her, and…well, she liked it.
"Toph, it's really pretty," said Katara.
"That means a lot to me," Toph said dryly. "I'll remember how beautiful it is every time I see it."
"I'm not Sokka. I'm not going to fall for that."
Toph laughed.
"I meant that you can be confident that it's really pretty for Zuko." Katara still got that annoying big sister smugness in her voice every time she referred to their relationship, and that was happening more and more often as the wedding drew nearer.
"Seems mean," said Toph, crossing her legs at the ankles. "I'm too good for him when I'm covered in dirt, what's this going to make him think?"
She felt her maids' hands falter, and Katara smacked her on the shoulder. "You're making Rei and Ai uncomfortable. Don't be an ass."
Toph laughed. "Sorry, but everyone's going to have to get used to me talking shit about the Firelord. I tease, that's what I do. It doesn't mean I don't…"
She felt Katara's gaze keenly. It made goosebumps rise on her skin.
"…care about him."
Katara made an exasperated noise, but didn't elaborate; Rei and Ai were nudging Toph to sit up, and they dried and braided her hair at alarming speed.
"Which one of you is Rei, and which is Ai?" Toph asked.
"This is Rei, my lady."
"And I'm Ai, my lady."
Their voices were, mercifully, slightly different. Rei also seemed taller. "Did Iroh hire you?"
There was a pause, and she felt the girls' weight shift as they looked at each other. "It's not really a job you get hired for, my lady," said Ai. "We live at court, and General Iroh thought we'd be suited to be your handmaidens."
"I trust his judgement," Toph said cautiously, "but don't feel tied down to this job. If you ever want another post, just let me know. And cut out all this 'my lady' shit. What'd you guys do before this, anyway?"
"I'm the one of the Firelord's steward's apprentices," said Ai. "He has three, so he could spare one, and I know how to do everything he does."
"That's handy. What about you, Rei?"
"I'm a Yuyan archer, my la–um." Having broken off her sentence in the middle of the honorific, Rei struggled to find her train of thought again; Ai picked it up.
"She's General Verai's daughter. Not the best orator, though." Toph could hear that Ai was grinning, and she felt Rei shift from foot to foot self-consciously, though she didn't seem very upset.
"Holy shit, a Yuyan archer is one of my ladies in waiting? Uncle Iroh doesn't fuck around," Toph grinned.
Katara bopped her shoulder. "These are court ladies, Toph. You're blistering their ears."
Toph ignored her. "If either of you prefer not to work for me, just let me know. No hard feelings. General Verai really doesn't like me, if I remember correctly."
"It's nothing personal," Rei hurried to explain. "I don't live there anymore, either, so Father can be as irritated or feel as honored as he likes."
"And to be quite honest, I outgrew my job a long time ago," Ai said dryly. "In contrast, you seem like the type of person who will keep me on my toes."
"If that's what you want, I can find work for you," Toph shrugged. "Come to think of it, Sokka came up with this idea for me to read a few months ago, and if you could pick up the technique and transcribe a few things for me…"
Rei and Ai both left with as much work as they felt comfortable with, and Toph felt pretty good about it. She'd been bossing her students around for years, but it was nice to have people who actually wanted to do her bidding, and who were actually good at it.
"I guess all I'm missing now is a firebender to command," she said, tilting her head from side to side to feel her heavy braid swing like a pendulum.
"Um," said Katara. "I think you're forgetting someone very obvious, here."
"Oh, right." Toph laughed. "So have we reached the part of the evening where you ride my ass for not showing my affection as openly as you and Aang do?"
"For your information, it's not evening yet," said Katara. Somehow, Toph had the impression that Katara was shaking her finger at her, though she couldn't be sure. "And this is the part of the evening where we finally get to have girl talk."
"Do I look exasperated?" Toph asked. "Because I'm trying. How about now?" She pointed to her face, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, stop it." Katara bopped her again. "I'm really happy that you guys are together. I worried a lot about both of you, you know."
"Really?" Toph stood up, slamming one heel into the ground to get an idea of where to head next. She seemed to have her own sitting room a couple of doors down, so she began to lead the way at a leisurely pace. "I'm not the one staying mysteriously in one place for months at a time. People are still rebuilding after the earthquake, but they don't need the Avatar and a waterbending healer for that anymore. What's the real deal?"
They entered the sitting room, and Katara shut the door behind them, sighing. "I'm pregnant."
"Hey, that's awesome. You've been trying for a while, right?" Toph flopped into a chair, lazily keeping the toes of one foot in contact with the ground.
Katara's anxiety spiked.
"Are you okay?" Toph frowned.
"We have been trying for a while," said Katara, settling into a chair next to hers. "I've had a couple of miscarriages."
"Oh." What was the right thing to say? "I'm sorry. So you decided to take it easy?"
Katara nodded, which usually irritated Toph, but she could feel the movement just enough to know what was happening. "We kept traveling like usual the last times I was pregnant, so Aang and I thought that maybe if we rested this time, things would go more smoothly."
"That's a good idea. How pregnant are you, exactly? Are you going to have it here?"
"Here or in Yu Dao, I think," Katara said. Toph could hear a hesitant smile in her tone, and knew that she was trying hard to be brave. "Five months. I've never gotten this far before."
"Have it here," Toph said, with a purposefully careless grin. "I bet Iroh would love having a baby around so much, he'd stick around the capital for ages, and you wouldn't have to do a damned thing."
Katara laughed quietly.
"You got names picked out?"
She could feel Katara's hesitation through the earth. "We've been afraid to."
Toph leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. "Don't be, Katara. No matter what, you're gonna have some babies eventually, so you should pick some names."
It was strange to feel the change in the atmosphere between them, as though the friendship that bound them had changed its shape a little. Toph saw herself as an unchanging constant in a sea of wishy-washy bastards, but she began to doubt that, just a little, when she realized that she actually cared about Katara's feelings. She might not have a few months ago.
"If you're right, and it's a girl," Katara began slowly, "I thought we might name her after my mom."
"That's nice. I bet Sokka would love it, too. What about your other kids? I'm sure Aang wants like a hundred."
Katara laughed. It was a weak laugh, but she sounded better than she had. "Aang keeps throwing Air Nomad names into the mix. I kind of like the sound of them. Maybe Kunchen? Tashi?"
Toph pulled a face. "Tashi is alright, I guess."
"If it's a boy, and not an airbender, and born here, I think we might name him Iknik," Katara went on. "It means 'fire.'"
"He could be a waterbender born in the Fire Nation," Toph pointed out, amused. "That'd be weird as fuck."
Katara stayed for a couple more hours, boring Toph by asking her about her trip and throwing wedding questions in, as if Toph wouldn't notice. She kept a count of the number of times Katara asked about colors: fifteen. Fifteen times. She was forgetting Toph was blind almost as often as Sokka did.
Toph was able to avoid mentioning her meeting with her parents by focusing about the Viper Bats more. "We got the situation under control fast," she explained, "but Aang should be there."
"They're building an air temple in the bay," Katara said. "On an island. Aangwants to spend a lot of time there to keep an eye on the city. I'm sure he can tackle the mob problem."
"Maybe," Toph shrugged. "But it's not a one-time thing. It's just a type of crime that's going to flourish anywhere as fast-paced as Yu Dao. I don't think he can get rid of mobs for good any more than he could get rid of theft or murder, you know? It's going to happen. We just need to control it."
When she finally sent her friend to sleep, she was relieved to find that her bed was huge and comfortable, with cotton pajamas laid out on it. She changed clothes and sprawled out on top of the covers, expecting to be cut off from the ground, and was surprised; the mattress seemed to have sand spread throughout it, and the frame of the bed was stone. The vibrations were dampened, but she could still sense her surroundings. If she laid her hand against the bedpost, she could actually trace the familiar beat of Zuko's heart as he slept a few rooms away.
Before she had a chance to play with it more, she was asleep. It had been a long day.
—
Toph had mixed feelings towards Ursa. Zuko loved her without reserve, and she'd certainly been dealt a shitty hand in life, but Toph couldn't quite get over aspects of her personality that sat ill with her; mostly that she had allowed her children to be abused and manipulated by Ozai.
Allowed might not be the right word, Toph admitted to herself. That would be like saying that the Earth Kingdom allowed Ozai to scorch a huge portion of it. And Ursa had come to court naive and inexperienced, with her parents held hostage against her obedience. It was easy to say she could have done this or that, in hindsight. It was probably much harder at the time.
But Ursa also didn't have any fight in her, and that was where Toph could not find any common ground with her.
She kept her thoughts to herself the next morning, when Ai came to tell her that Ursa had arrived during the night. Zuko wanted them all to eat together in his dining room.
"Help me out for a second," she said, gesturing to the wooden wardrobe in the corner of her room. "I don't know what the fuck any of these things are."
Ai stepped in and opened the wardrobe doors. "These are all the things you ordered before you left the capital. I had them arranged by type and color. We can sort them out later, but how about I just pick something for you now?"
She ended up wearing a comfortable ao dai that Ai assured her was red, white, and gold, with embroidery that vaguely reminded one of badgermoles up and down the side. It all meant jack shit to Toph. She thanked Ai and slammed her heel into the ground, getting a rudimentary mental map of the palace wing. One room definitely had a child running around in it; that was probably the right area. She headed off in that direction, and one of the Kyoshi Warriors opened the door for her when she got there.
"Toph!" Zuko stood up quickly, half-running to the door. It felt like it took way too long for him to get to her; she extended her hand to clasp his. She would have preferred to reach for his face, drawing it down to hers with a featherlight touch, but she was paralyzed by the fact that they weren't alone. Again. Kiyi and Ikem seemed to be in the next room over with Iroh, but Ursa was here, staring at them.
"You've met my mother before, right?"
"Kind of," Toph said, "at a distance. It's nice to meet you directly," she said. It was the most polite thing she could think of.
"My dear, I am so glad to see you," Ursa said. Her voice was rich. It had all the smooth sweetness of honey, whereas Toph's was about as serene as two blocks of wood being mashed together. "I thought my son would be alone forever."
"Mother," Zuko said, exasperated.
"Yeah, we all did," said Toph. "I guess you can never tell."
"Are your parents here for the wedding, too?" Ursa asked.
There was a brief, awkward pause, a half beat where no one knew what to say.
"Nah, I doubt it." Toph shrugged. "It's a long story, but I'm not on the best terms with them." Your son may have threatened them a little, no big deal. "I hope someday we can patch it up."
"I hope so," Ursa said. "Family is so important."
How did she always find the most awkward thing to say? Toph could feel Zuko's discomfort through the earth and through their clasped hands. Was he thinking of Azula and Ozai? Lao and Poppy?
"That's true," Toph admitted, "but not all families are blood related. The Avatar will be there, and everyone we fought alongside in the war."
They were saved from continuing in that vein by Kiyi bursting through the door in a huff.
"My hair is awful," she mourned. "The comb Uncle Iroh gave me is already broken," she said, wrinkling her nose and collapsing onto the floor next to her mother. "I was just trying to get my hair under control and I snapped the teeth! Zuko, can you fix it?" She held the pieces up to him.
"I can fix it," said Toph. "My hair's awful too." It was silver. She let go of Zuko's hand and knelt down, taking the pieces from Kiyi's hands and melding them back together.
"Thanks!" said Kiyi. "I've never seen earthbending before, except when the Avatar fights."
"The Avatar's not great at earthbending," Toph said. "He still has a lot to learn."
"Can he metalbend?"
Toph liked Kiyi already. "He can't," she said smugly. "He hasn't really bothered to learn. Maybe we can harass him about it together."
"Sure!" said Kiyi.
"I don't think it would be appropriate for you to harass the Avatar," Ursa told her daughter.
Naturally, that rubbed Toph the wrong way. She bit back her feelings on appropriateness, instead focusing on Zuko's anxiety. The poor guy thought she had no filter at all, and he was almost right.
"Okay," said Kiyi.
"You can always ask your Mom if you can watch the metalbenders practice, though," Toph said. "My school is in Yu Dao, in the old Earth Nation colonies that rule themselves now, but I bring my students here to train with the army."
She felt Kiyi's balance shift, presumably as she looked up at her mom. "Would that be alright, Mom?"
Ursa sighed. It was too quiet to notice, but Toph could feel it. "I suppose so, as long as you take someone with you. I don't want you wandering around here alone, sweetie."
Toph reminded herself that Ursa's concern came from a loving place, not a shamed one. It was a different situation, she told herself firmly. And yet those words still set her teeth on edge.
Iroh and Ikem stepped into the room, sliding the door shut behind them.
"Two of my three favorite nieces in the room at the same time," Iroh gushed. "What a treat!"
"Azula's one of your favorite nieces now?" Toph arched a brow.
"She's come a long way," he laughed.
"Ikem," Zuko said respectfully, "this is my future wife, Toph." She could hear the undercurrent of pride in his voice when he called her his future wife, and it made the corners of her mouth twitch upwards as she bowed to Ikem.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Ikem said, and he sounded like he meant it. "I'm sure this place could use a little happiness."
"Yeah," Toph agreed. "I'm the first willing bride here in, what, fifty years? A hundred?"
There was an awkward silence.
"That's all in the past," Zuko broke in quickly. "We're returning to the traditional ways of the Fire Nation as much as possible now, and that means overturning the way we've done things for the last century. This wedding is a little non-traditional," he admitted, "but since we're uniting Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom tr–"
"The Firelord is allowed to bend the rules a little," Iroh chuckled, slapping his nephew on the back. "Especially for the greatest earthbender in the world."
They sat down to eat, and Toph tried to stay so busy eating that she couldn't put her foot in her mouth again.