DISCLAIMER: I OWN NONE OF THE CHARACTERS

Authors Note: Okay, this chapter is just about Katniss. And I still don't know what to do with this fic. I accept suggestions (or requests in that case) in my mailbox. Just PM me. anyways. ~Enjoy.

home?

I was greeted with deafening silence when I arrived home. Huh, home. It's such an absurd notion to call this four bedroom colonial house a home when no one really lives in it. It's also much too big for its two occupants, my mother and I, who isn't here at the moment. Surprise Surprise Katniss, it's not like you were expecting her to have warm dinner ready when you arrived. I walked to the kitchen, flipping the hallway lights on in the process, to grab yet another frozen dinner. I've been living on lean cuisine and take outs ever since Dad and my sister moved out when I was 11.

Sister. What a foreign concept in my head. Prim was barely four when they left, not old enough to remember my little participation in her life. She looked like a porcelain doll to me when Mom and Dad took her home for the first time, blonde haired and all. I remember her clutching my then tiny fingers and cooing. It was love at first sight with Prim. But Dad took her away all too soon. They moved to New York after the divorce finalized.

Prim and I were caught in a nasty custody battle when our parents decided that they just can't stand each other anymore. Which is quite laughable since they barely see each other. Mom's a surgeon and Dad is a defense attorney. Mom's profession basically requires her to live in the E.R. and Dad was always out of town for some case. Prim and I were left with our nanny, Sae (who still stops by twice a week to make sure I'm still alive and the house isn't in ruins. yet.).

I never missed Dad since I didn't really know him. He was a shadow in the house that comes and goes. Or if he stays at home, he's mostly copped up in his office. But I would sometimes catch myself missing Prim, wondering how she turned out, or how I would turn out if I had someone else to talk to in this godforsaken house.

The telltale ding of the microwave signaled that my meal is ready for the night. I settled by the veranda and reluctantly ate my dinner. Come to think of it, I never really saw my parents together. Except for their wedding video, they never looked happy when they're in the same room. The VHS tape of the Everdeens wedding may be the most watched thing in this household. Mom and Dad looked happy that day. I can't help but smile whenever I remember the way Dad looked at Mom as she walked the aisle, or the way Mom blushed when Dad held her garter up in the air, whooping like a madman. That was love. But my parent's divorce is a longstanding evidence that love eventually fades.

But I want to believe that I will find someone to love me fully. To look at me the way Dad looked at Mom in their wedding video. It's the main reason I have sex with men. It keeps them around, and maybe if they stuck with me long enough then love would spurt out of nowhere. It's a ridiculous idea, but it keeps me grounded.

I thought Finnick would be the one. He was funny, and he talked to me outside the bedroom, but he left, like Gale. Maybe it's Cato. I don't know. Life has a way of fucking you over when you least expect it. All I know right now is that Cato is kind to me. He takes me places. And sex is fantastic so who am I to complain.

Flashing headlights blinded me for a minute before Mom's white Benz came into view. She parked in the driveway and hastily headed inside, effectively ignoring me. So much for saying Hello. I settled deeper into the lounge chair and continued to eat my sorry excuse of a dinner.