Bumper laid awake, staring at the ceiling. Amy was curled up next to him sleeping soundly, but Bumper was way too wired to sleep. This was the first time Amy had ever spent the night and Bumper was on edge about it. She usually left after their activities, but tonight she laid with him and they talked until she fell asleep. Bumper didn't know whether to nudge and wake her up or if he should let her alone. Amy spending the night wasn't the only thing keeping him awake, however. Bumper realized earlier that night that he was absolutely head over heels in love with the Australian Bella.

They had been at an acapella party where they had a riff-off with a few other groups when the realization dawned on him. It wasn't even that she was doing anything. She had caught his eye from across the room and had given him a small smile. Bumper felt that slight twinge in his chest and his palms began to sweat. No one but Amy ever made him feel that way. Then he sang Tina Turner's "What's Love Got To Do With It" to her and she had not only given him a seductive nod, but she was the only one to clap for him.

Amy had made it clear the last time they were together that they were only fuck buddies, but Bumper wanted more. He had walked up to her during the party, determined to ask her out, but all that could come out of his mouth was "Do you want to have sex later?".

Amy had looked at him in shock, answering, "No!" and then she winked at him.

"Okay, you said no," Bumper leaned closer, his face contorted in confusion, "but you winked... So, that's a no, then?"

She slowly turned to him, her face full of sheer annoyance. "It's a hundred percent no!" Another wink.

Less than an hour later he had her bent over his kitchen table, his body thrusting wildly into hers while she cried out in pleasure. Things had escalated pretty quickly within that hour. Between flirty glances, dirty dancing, and then being caught making out in the bathroom by Jesse, they had decided to come back to Bumper's. They hadn't even had time to remove their clothes. Bumper had pushed her skirt up, moved her panties to the side, and released his dick from the top of his jeans before sliding into her. They eventually moved on to the bedroom where he now lay awake, contemplating their entire relationship.

Bumper didn't know when yet, but he needed to tell Amy how he felt. He could only hope that she was open to the idea. He turned on his side and watched her for a few minutes before feeling sleep overtake him. When he woke in the morning she was gone. It hurt, but then he was struck with an idea. After a quick call to Benji, he had made the perfect plan to wine and dine Amy.

Three nights later, Bumper was waiting impatiently for Amy. He had decorated the gazebo with lights, French music played in the background, and the table was filled with a variety of foods that he hoped she liked. They have been sleeping together for a while, but that didn't mean they talked about their likes and dislikes... Well, unless they were sex related. His mind drifted and he began thinking about Amy in bed and how she really liked it when-

The screeching of the gate cut off his train of thought and he looked up to find Amy walking quite tentatively towards him. He held his hand out for her to take, helping her up the stairs because his mother raised a gentleman, damn it. Albeit, a jackass, but also a gentleman.

"Oh, hand-offs..." Amy commented, shocked. "Classy napkins... Foods other than salsa? This is a little classier than our typical hook-ups."

"Is it?" he asked, smirking before showing her the foods, most excited about the capers. "I didn't know what those were, but they're like salty peas." She walked towards him as he offered her a chair and then he went to sit down across from her. "So," he began. "I don't know if you've seen the news lately, but there's a war... And also, the economy is... dippin' - flowin'-"

"Bumper," Amy said. "What's going on? Now you're kinda creeping me out."

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Okay, I guess I'll just lay it all out there. The reason that I brought you here tonight was because I was thinking that... maybe, perhaps, if you're interested... This is harder than I thought it was gonna be." He was literally shaking, his nerves completely shot. "I wanna date you," he blurted out. "That's what I want. Like, for real. Like, a real couple."

Amy let out a short laugh nervously, but he continued.

"Like where we go out in public and hold hands and ride bikes together or we like go to an orchard and pick apples. Or we like, do one of those, like Build-a-Bear Workshops together and we build bears and you name one "Bumper" and I'll name one "Fat Amy" and yours will be bigger than mine and it will be cute. And we could put them on our bed, that we share..." He watched her face in anticipation, gauging her reaction. "What do ya say?"

Amy was quiet for a moment, looking around everywhere but him before uttering the most dreadful words, "No... I don't wanna do that."

Bumper's smile was fake and frozen on his face. "Yeah, that's cool."

Amy nodded, relief washing over her. "Cool."

"It was - it was a stupid idea anyways," he added.

"Yeah," she agreed and began to stand up when his emotional voice stopped her.

"Obviously, we shouldn't do that. We should just... go back to how things used to be and just... just go at it on top of all this expensive food that I bought!" Tears formed behind his eyes and he tried to hold them back, but was failing miserably.

"Are you crying?" Amy asked.

Bumper squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head back and forth quickly, willing the tears to go away. "Nope... No, I'm not!"

"Bumper!" Amy exclaimed. "Come on, you can't be serious?! I can't be tied down by anything!" She stood up, flailing her arms as if to prove her point further. "I wanna walkabout! I'm a free range pony that can't be tamed!" She emphasized by imitating a horse, trying to lighten the mood, but it just made Bumper even more upset. "You know?"

"Okay," Bumper ground out.

"I'm like a firework! Pow pow! I can't be tied down!" she repeated.

"Okay," he stood up, defeated. "Then that's it. Then I guess that's it, right? Cause I'm not gonna - I'm not gonna keep going on like this."

"Well-"

"Fine!" he interrupted. "Fine, if that's how you feel then I think we're done! I think it's over!"

"That's it?"

"That's it then."

Amy turned to walk away. "So, it's over then."

"It's over," he mumbled, heartbroken.

"Fine then," she said quietly before turning and leaving.

Bumper heard a tuner sound behind him and turned to see Benji and some guys from the Treblemakers on a small boat. "Nope! Too late!" he yelled at them. "You're too late!"

"I figured when we didn't do the serenade then the backup plan should be to play her off?"

"Turn around, go back," he told them, sitting down. "I don't wanna hear another peep!"

The boys began rowing away, Benji quietly singing, "Trebles for life... Trebles-"

"BENJI!"

"Sorry."

Once the gate was closed behind Amy she almost collapsed on the ground. The air had completely left her lungs and emotions were flying through her like crazy. She didn't know why she felt like this. She didn't want to be with Bumper. He was just a good fuck buddy. Amy didn't need or want a relationship. So, why did she feel like utter shit? She walked away from the gazebo, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart and ended up sitting on the ground under a tree just outside the house she shared with her friends. She looked up at the sky, hoping the clear air would calm her down, but soon the image of the moon and the stars became blurry and before Amy knew it, she was crying. She kept wiping at her face and taking deep breaths, but nothing was working. The tears didn't seem to ever stop.

"Pull yourself together, Amy," she told herself. "You don't have feelings for anyone. Love isn't real." She kept repeating this mantra to herself until she stopped crying. She stood up and brushed herself off, putting Bumper and any feeling she may or may not possess for him in the back of her mind.

Fat Amy didn't believe in love. She did not, under any circumstances, love anyone. Especially Bumper Allen.

Author's Note: All right! I switched the last chapter and this one from the way they did it in the movie to make it a little more dramatic. Obviously, the next chapter will be Amy winning Bumper back. I've italicized the dialogue that is actually from the movie to verify that it is in fact not my own writing. Please review!