"You have to let me go!" I shrieked at Kate who had her arms tied around my waist, stopping me from getting to Carlisle. "You have to let go!" I clawed at her, desperate to get away.
"Esme, you can't help him now, okay? You need to stay here with me," she reasoned calmly. She hugged me, pulling me closer to her and moving her arms up.
I dissolved into her, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Shh, it's okay," she rubbed my back and pushed my hair off my face. "How's your head?"
"Okay," I whimpered, wishing it was me in Carlisle's position. "He should have just let me get hit."
"Either way he would be a mess," she told me gently.
I watched helplessly as the others scrambled to help my husband. There was so much blood I was dizzy; both Garrett and Eleazar were drenched in it.
All of sudden Edward stood in front of me, blocking me so I couldn't see what was happening.
"EDWARD MOVE!" I screamed at him. I probably would have lashed out if it wasn't for Kate.
"No, Esme, you don't need to see this," he told me. His voice shook.
I growled at him anyway and struggled against Kate. The only thing I was thinking about was Carlisle and I didn't care who I had to hurt to get to him.
"Esme," she pleaded, trying to get a better grip on me.
I snapped at her, threatening to bite if she didn't let go. When I moved to sink my teeth into her, she released me.

I managed to rush forward a few feet, only to collide with Garrett. He wrapped his arms around me, holding down my arms so there was no chance of escape.
"Let go," I snarled, furious.
"I can't do that; it would upset Carlisle too much."
I knew he said it to purposefully disarm my rage but it worked and I started to lose conviction. "Can I at least see him?" I begged, whimpering.
He gave me a tight smile and shook his head, rubbing my back when I started sobbing. "He'll be alright," he tried to assure me but it wasn't convincing. "You both have to go to hospital though."
"Why do I have to go?" I asked hotly, my temper flaring.
"Because you hit your head and your husband will literally kill me if you don't go."
"I'll go with him," I tried, hoping he would cave.
"No, you'll go with Kate."
"I don't want to go with Kate!" I yelled at him, louder than appropriate. "You can't keep me away from my mate!" I started struggling, desperate to get my arms out from underneath his. "GARRETT GET OFF ME!"
"Esme-"
I sunk my teeth into his arm and he yelped, not expecting it. I seized the moment and twisted out of his arms, finally reaching Carlisle.

He was so pale and looked so vulnerable, almost angelic against the black of the tarseal if he hadn't of been cover in red.
"Carlisle," I cried quietly, pushing his hair off his face. "You have to wake up sweetie."
He was terrifyingly still and very, very cold.
I didn't know how to touch him without hurting him. "Please," I begged him. "You should have just let me get hit and then you wouldn't be in this mess…" It was pointless; I knew he could hear me, but it was somehow comforting being able to talk to him, like maybe if I said enough he might wake up. "You need to wake up - I can't run a coven- I can't do anything without you- you have to wake up- I'm sorry I should have looked it was my fault I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," I repeated myself over and over again, becoming more and more frantic. I tried to wipe the tears off my face but they were quickly replaced. "I love you…"
I started sobbing when I realised this was the first time I had said that and he hadn't said it back. I tried to force the thought from my mind but I couldn't: What if he never said it again?

"It's not working…" Eleazar whispered to Tanya.
I knew I was supposed to hear but I couldn't stop myself. "It has to work- what's not working?"
They ignored me.
"I know," she whispered back, quickly wiping a few tears off her own face.

My vision got hot and I couldn't see.

We were going to lose him.

We couldn't.

Not Carlisle.

Not my Carlisle.

I couldn't breathe; it felt like someone had crushed all the air out of my body, squeezing my lungs. That was wrong. Squeezing my heart. My chest hurt that much from sobbing it was as though it had burst anyway.
Bile rushed up my throat. I rushed away from him to be sick. Someone was hugging me but I didn't know who; the world was under some thick haze. My ears rang to the point I couldn't hear.
He couldn't die. I needed him more than anything. Our coven needed him. In a way, everyone did.

I was shaking so badly I could hardly stumble back to him and collapse at his side.
"You can't die Carlisle," I whispered through my tears. "You can't-" I glanced up and realised everyone was still, no longer rushing around trying to help. That was good, right? That meant he was stable. That he would live.

Realisation hit me when I glanced up at Tanya's face. The other coven leader, the other one I had never seen cry before, had tears running down her face, knowing something I didn't.
They weren't standing back because he was okay.
They were standing back because they had given up; they couldn't do anymore.

Time stood still and I went numb.

I refused to let go of his hand when the paramedics tried to pull me away. I couldn't leave him. Not if this was going to be the last time I would see him.
"Esme you have to let go," Garrett whispered. The air was so still his words cut like a knife; not even the birds were singing. He was crying too, taking my hand and slowly making me uncurl my fingers. "You need to let go…"
Suddenly I realised he wasn't talking about his hand. He was talking about Carlisle in general.
"NO!" I screamed at him, rushing back to hold onto my husband as if by some miracle I could make him wake up again.

"Sorry sweetheart," a gruff voice said. A paramedic. He grabbed my wrist.
At first I thought he was talking about Carlisle but then he injected me with something. The world went black.

A/N: Just so you know this isn't the end…