Warning: Fluff ahead. And also angst. And not at the same time, if you get my drift.
Changes
{Part 2}
Wade didn't really understand it, but Spider-Man was being very nice to him all of a sudden. The first time he'd seen him this month he not only didn't kick him out of New York, but he actually said hello to him, very politely, before webbing away. The second time, it was just a nod in his direction; in Spidey's defense, he was headed towards a fire. The third time, he bumped into him just as he was webbing away from a crime scene, and the conversation went something like this (his boxes were busy screaming in his ear, and so his memory was a bit hazy at best):
Spidey said, "Hey."
Wade said, "Hey, Spidey, nice save you did there."
And Spider-Man responded by asking him out to dinner. Well, what he literally said was probably something like: "Thanks. I'm starved, do you wanna go grab some tacos?"
So yeah, it wasn't exactly Spidey asking him out to dinner. But it was nighttime, and he did ask to have food with him, and it was outside. They just weren't out-out. Wade took him to his favorite place anyway. They got their take out and picked a roof to sit on within fifteen minutes. Fast food, really.
They didn't really talk much. That is, Wade talked a lot, and Spider-Man was uncharacteristically quiet. But this was new, uncharted territory for both of them. Spider-Man, being seen in public being amicable with Deadpool? Unheard of. But honestly? Wade thought it was nice. The few things Spider-Man actually said were nice-funny, not rude-funny, and he even laughed at some of Wade's jokes. Some of them were even PG-13.
The boxes were loud, but then again, so was Wade. Even with all his insecurities, there wasn't much they could do to him at that moment; he was ecstatic.
See that, there? He's regretting ever coming out with you, the yellow box said.
{Why isn't he saying anything?} wondered the white box.
Spidey is out on a not-date with me, replied Wade.
Spider-Man finished his meal, Wade finished talking, and Spider-Man stood to leave. Wade pushed himself up and off the ledge get it? as well.
"Um," said Deadpool. Senpai, notice me!
"Thanks," said Spider-Man suddenly. "This really was a great place."
Senpai! Gasp!
{You really are like a schoolgirl with a crush}
What an anime cliché
"You're welcome, Baby Boy," Wade replied, trying to ignore his boxes. "It's my favorite place, so I'm glad you liked it. We can do this again, if you'd like. Um. I mean. I don't know. But yeah."
{Shut up}
You're embarrassing yourself
"I think I'd like that," Spider-Man said. He turned to leave, before very dramatically just like in an anime! turning around and saying, "See ya around, Deadpool."
47 missed calls. 52 text messages. Not all, but almost all from Peter. Wade stares at his phone. Wade isn't holding the phone anymore. He chucked it into the fucking river. His coat is long, his fifties style hat is on. He's playing a part; his heart isn't in it, but he's doing his best.
You look like a cartoon character.
{Who cares? It's appropriately tragic and cliché.}
"Shut up," Wade says. He checks seven different pockets before finding his plane tickets. His other cell phone rings. It's a plain, automatic, non-customized, not-pop-culture-related ringtone.
"Sir, your cab is waiting for you."
"Yo, Spidey," said Wade, joining the superhero on their shared roof. "What did you bring this time?"
"Some of my aunt's cooking, actually," Spider-Man confessed. "I didn't mean to, but I mentioned I was going to get takeout and the next thing I know – "
"Familial smothering," Wade said, nodding. "I mean, I can't say I understand, but I've heard of it." Spider-Man looked tense – {you probably made him feel awkward, you idiot} – so Wade added, "Saw you on the news yesterday. What's up with JJJ, anyway? What he got against you?"
Spider-Man was busy handing the food out – lasagna, still warm. Yum – and took his time answering. "I think he's got anger issues," he said finally. "I know this kid, Peter…"
"Wait," said Wade, remembering the cute skinny kid with a camera from a few months back. "Flashback moment. Is he a photographer?"
"Yeah," came the reluctant reply.
"Met him a few months back," Wade remembered. "Saved his life. Had a great ass. Stayed for dinner."
"Right," said Spider-Man, sounding uncomfortable. "Point is, he works for him. Told me some stories. Apparently, one time, Jameson almost had a heart attack in the middle of lecturing him. Actually had to go to the hospital."
Wade roared from laughter. "Best. Story. Ever. Terrible bosses are great, you know?"
"I guess," Spider-Man said, suddenly standing up. "Hear that?"
"No," said Wade, listening intently. "Wait. Yes. Police sirens, about a block away?"
Spider-Man nodded, lowering the edge of his mask. "Gotta go."
"See ya around," Wade said. "I'll get rid of the trash."
It's always sad to see him leave, but we love to watch him go
"Shut up," Wade said. "It's not like that's going anywhere."
I hate airports, Wade thought, as he got trouble yet again for his weapons. What was the point of having a permit if no one let him actually get through?
Well, as it's a fake, be glad nobody's giving you any more trouble
{That's a good point. Technically, you should be k-word-ing your way out of jail}
Really? Is it that bad?
{Do you see how much we're carrying?}
Good point
"Shut up," Wade mumbled, finding making his way to the duty free.
"Wade?"
Shit, shit, this is bad.
There's smoke in Wade's eyes, and there are people screaming, and he's not sure how many people's he's carried to safety. There at least two people he can barely look at without remembering his own face.
Which is never a pleasant experience
{Bet Spidey's face is a pleasant experience, mmm}
Focus, damn it. Remember why we're here.
Because of Spidey's potentially delicious mouth?
Yet another scream. Wade carried the girl out minutes later, asking: "Is everybody out?"
Spider-Man swung out that very moment, carrying a lady and her baby. "That seems to be it." He turned around, maybe intending to help the firefighters, but then wobbles and falls down.
He's out, Wade thought. It felt weirdly familiar to pick him up and take him all the way to his apartment. Throughout the entire time Wade treats Spider-Man's wounds – sure, he's got a healing factor, but not much of one – he left the mask on, no matter what other part of Spidey's outfit he had to take off.
If he stared at Spider-Man's chest a bit after he was done, he didn't really think anyone could blame him.
Wade was cleaning up when he heard a groan coming from the couch Spidey was on; once again, this felt eerily familiar somehow. "You're awake!" Wade cried. "How d'ya feel? You lost a lot of blood, you're probably a bit woozy. Be careful!" Peter tried to get up, but Wade pushed him back down. "Your healing factor has kicked in, but you still aren't one-hundred percent. C'mon, just relax."
"I'm fine," Spider-Man insisted. "I just need – oh, God," he groaned, "shit."
"You're not fine," said Wade. "Just relax a bit more, okay? Let me take care of you."
Spider-Man thought about it for a moment, but eventually lied back down. "Fine, whatever."
Wade smiled, and began humming as he continued cleaning up. There was a lot of blood everywhere, most of it Spider-Man's. He really bled.
"Deadpool."
"Yeah?" Wade said distractedly.
"You took off your mask." There was a bit of a question there, as if Spider-Man was unsure of himself.
"What?" he said, touching his face. He realized he had, and looked away from Spider-Man in apology. "Oh, yeah, sorry. Habit. I'll put it back on."
"No! I mean, it's okay," Spider-Man said quickly. "It's fine. I don't mind it. You don't have to apologize for taking it off."
"Sure you won't throw up when you look at me?"
"I'm sure."
Wade turned back around. Spider-Man was sitting up, half leaning on his hand, half trying to remove his own mask. "Hey, hey, what are you doing? Stop that!"
"I want you to know," Spider-Man insisted. "You've saved my life at least twice just in the past six months. You deserve it."
"I guess I am pretty great – wait, twice?"
"Peter," Wade says coldly. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Just listen to me, please," Peter says.
Shit fuck, he's hot. Why is he so hot?
{Maybe we should forgive him?}
"No," Wade says, talking to his boxes and to Peter. "You listen to me. I'm leaving New York. Do you see these tickets? They're expensive. How the hell did you even get in here? You know what, you probably got a favor from your Avenger friends. Well, you know, I just don't care about what you have to say. You broke my trust, Peter. I don't even know how to look at you."
"Hi," said Peter Parker.
"Holy crap."
Well, that explains a lot
{Random Hottie Photographer Peter and Spider-Great-Ass-Man are one and the same?}
Feels like we should have known
{I think I've read this somewhere before}
"Well, this explains the twice at least," Wade said. "And the whole being awkward about Peter thing. I thought that… well, I thought you might be dating yourself. Fuck."
"Deadpool," sighed Peter.
"Look, I'm good," said Wade. "I'll be good. I'll keep your secret, don't you worry. Just – "
Peter surged forward, stumbling a bit, but landing on Wade. Peter's hands were on his chest, and his face – his lips –
"Shut up," he mumbled, and then he kissed him.
"Oh, will you listen to yourself," Peter cries. "You're pathetic. After you have that crush on me for all those years – "
"You don't get to decide anything about me, do you get that? I'm me – "
" – and I thought I might be able to help you mature so bully for you, you decided that – "
" – I had a life before you and I'll have a life after you, you self-centered – "
" – I was just trying to help and you continued to act like a two year old with a gun – "
"You weren't helping!" Wade yells. "You weren't helping. I decide which jobs I take and which I don't. You knew what I was all along. I never tried to change you, to make you more like me, so why would you try to change me?"
Peter is struck dumb for only a second, but it was a second too long. By the time he raises his voice again, Wade has already turned around and walked away.
Peter's kiss was surprisingly rough, passionate; Wade was being unraveled by the feeling of his lips. He wanted to be devoured. It felt like no time had passed yet the entire universe had gone by before they broke apart.
The thought that Peter was just doing it to thank him for saving his life disappeared the moment he saw how shaken Peter was from the kiss. He didn't look distraught; he looked happy.
"Hi," Peter said again, outstretching his arm. "I'm Peter Parker. It's… It's really nice to meet you."
Wade grinned and grabbed Peter's hand. "I'm Wade Wilson. It's truly a pleasure."
They're still close, but Peter backs up, wobbling a bit. "Whoa," he laughs. "Maybe I should sit down."
Right. He's injured.
You're so inconsiderate
{You forgot he was in pain? The fuck is wrong with you?}
You know what, he thought at them. I just kissed Spider-Man slash Peter Parker, and you were silent the entire time. Shut up, please.
He takes care of Peter the rest of the evening, even making chicken soup for him. By the time Peter feels like new, or at least, by the time he's sick of Wade running around getting him yet another pillow ({Where are you even getting all these pillows from? This seems improbable}), it's in the a.m. hours, and Wade offers that he stay over.
"I'll be a perfect gentleman," he promises. "You can sleep in my bed and everything, and I'll sleep on the couch and…"
"Okay," Peter says. He gets up and kisses Wade's cheek. "Thank you."
He's asleep within five minutes, and Wade is left alone, too confused to sleep.
Sure, if confused is code for aroused.
{It definitely is.}