AN: Hope you enjoy. As for my announced projects such as Armadillo Fever II and Kill Your Lover, they are still in progress. Thanks for the reviews on my past works.

Chapter One: Rhapsodic Memory

It was cold and dark when Leon woke up. His senses immediately jumped into the conclusion that he was knocked unconscious by something, but the touch of starchy fabric underneath his bare body and the quiet roars of car engines outside reminded him that he was back in civilization; far away from the terrors of the fallen cities infested with zombies. Never did he welcome the sound of motors running and cars honking at each other.

Leon was in a dirty motel room. The only light source came from cheap blinds that barely hid the occasional cars drifting past the streets outside. He didn't know which street they were on. His partner and he went bar hopping and ended up in the poor side of the town. A faint smell of marijuana entered his nostrils. He wanted to clear his throat and fan the smell away with his hand but, he remained still. His eyes slowly trailed to his partner's bare back. Did she know that he was awake?

Helena sat on the edge of the bed. She had her bare body carelessly covered up with the thin sheet of blanket that was provided. Her eyes were locked on the ground, blankly staring into the dirty, carpeted floor. She tried to distract herself by staring into the thick strands of the carpet from the inevitable confrontation she will have to endure. When she heard Leon sitting upright behind her, her heart thumped. She felt her skin flush red. She felt hot in the cold room.

They both felt regret. It was clear to both of them that this shouldn't have happen. They were out celebrating their last mission in Arizona. Not only did they take out their supposed target, they also traced him back to his headquarters and shut it down. Because of their contribution, the southern eastern part of Arizona was confirmed to be a safe haven from the infected. The BSAA rewarded Helena and Leon 3 days of vacation and the first night was spent getting drunk out of their minds. Even being awarded 1 day of vacation was a great deal, especially when they were living in a world where 74% of the land were taken by the infected and terrorists. Threats poured in the hundreds of safe zones that the BSAA agents tirelessly fought to keep from the terrorists and the ever-growing population of the infected. The government received 1,500 crime reports daily but could only take on at most 300 per day. Things were too chaotic in this world; and 3 days of vacation to a BSAA agent was a prize more worthy than money and fame.

Leon and Helena wanted to make their vacation days last and had planned on spending one day together and the rest on their own. But their one night together spiraled out of control; Leon and Helena retreated to a broken down motel room in the corner of the city. They asked for two beds but ended up sleeping on one. It was Helena who initiated it first, grabbing Leon and pressing her lips against his as soon as he closed the suite door behind him. Leon knew she was drunk and he was too; but he couldn't bring himself to break free. He grabbed her body and pulled her close till there was no space nor clothing left between them. He threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her quickly, afraid of wasting a single second. She scratched him and bit his shoulder as he thrust all of his repressed lust into her. Her moans blocked out all his trained senses and sent him into a hole of euphoria. It felt like a dream. He thought it was a dream.

It was 6am when Leon woke up. Realizing that he was on vacation, he briefly dozed back to sleep until a sharp pain inside his head reminded him of the hours before. He felt guilt and shame. He had taken advantage of Helena when she was drunk. His bottled up feelings for this partner took advantage of her drunk state. He tried to think of a way to start his apology. He felt fear from the thought of Helena never wanting to speak to him ever again. She was his partner and his close friend, and he betrayed her trust. He would lose a large part of his life if she decided to leave; and he didn't want it. But after what he had done, he was expecting it and mentally tried to come into terms with it.

He loved Helena. After spending so many years together, he grew attracted to his tough, hard-headed partner. At first, he thought the trauma they experienced was what made him crave her, but it wasn't. Helena would be in his thoughts when they parted to cover more ground while on duty; she would come out in his dreams, posing as his lover and caused Leon to oversleep multiple times; and while they were together, he would make sure he was prepared for anything, to protect his partner.

Before Leon could speak, Helena broke the silence first. Under her breath, she softly murmured,

"This is my first."

Leon silently stared into the small television across from them, where a weather man forecasted a heavy storm coming. From the corner of his eye, he saw Helena clutch the blanket closer to her. He wanted to say something but didn't know what. His heart beat quickened and he felt his body got chills as he inhaled softly. What could he say to her? What should he say? He had taken her virginity when they were drunk. Was there any combination of words in this world that can ease Leon's guilt and undo the damage he had done to Helena? Leon continued to sit in silence, hoping that Helena would break the silence once more.

Eventually Helena slipped out of the covers to pick up her discarded shirt on the floor. She silently cursed when her eye located her underwear in the corner of the room, sitting on a chair's armrest. Leon took notice and wore his boxers, which were thankfully on his side of the bed. He then stood up and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He could hear Helena stand up and walk over to the chair. Her steps on the weak, wooden floor made creaks with each step. Leon knew Helena wanted nothing more than to get out of this place they were in. He silently stood beside the door and listened as Helena strode around the room, picking up her belongings.

It was when he heard the doorknob turn, he opened the bathroom door and caught her trying to leave. Helena wore a startled face and Leon tried to say something to prevent her from leaving. But his throat closed up and all he could muster out weakly was, "Don't go."

Helena diverted from his gaze. An uneasy feeling from her stomach crept up to her head, giving her a slight headache. She was hoping to leave before Leon could find her. She needed a long time alone to figure out what she was feeling.

Her eyes went back to Leon when she saw his lips moving from the corner of her eye.

"What I did to you…is wrong…There's no words I can think of to describe my shame." It was Leon's turn to divert his eyes to the floor. "I can't believe I did this to you…I…I raped you, Helena."

Helena wore a discomforted face at the word 'rape'. She knew what they were doing. Even if she was drunk, she had full control of her body. She just finally got liquid courage to help her do what she always wanted to do. Her eyes slowly went back to Leon, whose face was twisted into disgust. She wanted to say that it wasn't rape. That she wanted this all along. But how can she? Leon viewed her as his partner. If she were to tell him that she loved him, then what would happen to them? Leon was in love with Ada Wong, the Chinese American terrorist that evaded the BSAA longer than any other terrorists. They had a twisted relationship, but Helena could feel the love and care they had for each other. And she couldn't allow herself to be the strain on their relationship. What Leon felt from what happened was not the same as her. He felt regret.

"No…" Helena started. She hesitated for a second, then rested her hand on top of Leon's shaking hand. Leon gazed her at softly then resumed his gaze back on the floor. "This was both our faults, Leon."

Leon felt a pang of pain from her words. The night they were the closest to each other might be the one that drives them apart. His sting of pain was soothed by Helena's sudden touch on his hand. Her hands were rough from firing guns all day but they were warm, and Leon felt a home sickening comfort from them. Helena gave him a weak smile and put her hand underneath his hand so that she was holding onto his one hand, gently.

"Let's never speak of this night ever again," Helena said, almost painfully. Leon heard a faint quivering between her words and felt even more guilt. Without saying anything, he nodded and stepped aside for Helena to step out. He stood silently as Helena closed the door behind her with a soft click. He remained at the doorstep, listening to Helena's steps slowly fade away. Once he couldn't hear her presence anymore, Leon walked to the bed tirelessly and collapsed onto the creaky bed. With his face pressed onto the cheap fabric of the bed, he could smell sweat and cheap detergent that had a faint smell of oranges. Normally, Leon would have pulled himself up from the disgusting smell but, all he could think about was his partner and how he betrayed her.

And how he lost the chance to tell her.