Morality in Question

By: The HamsterofDeath

A/N: We are almost at the end of our journey; only one chapter left. Thank you so much to all of you who took a bit of their time to leave a little comment or piece of advice. It means a lot to me to know that there are people enjoying this story!

Chapter 05

The trip back was a tedious one for Meryl. The events of the day had drained her, her legs felt like two heavy weights that she had to drag, and the conversation she had had with Vash was still replaying in her head. She looked at Knives, who was busy giving a summary to the new recruit. Vash had barely spent any time with his brother ever since he brought him to them -contrary to her-, how could he be so certain that he was still bent on destroying humans? Wasn't he lacking objectivity?

She needed to keep an eye on the twins and find a way to ascertain Knives' motives. She really wanted to believe in him.

Later that day, during a delicious experimental dinner around the campfire, they all listened carefully to Milly's version of the story.

"I don't know what happened to me. I started to feel hot, and I thought it was just the weather, or maybe I was just overdoing it and carried too much at once - but then I got dizzy as well. This never happened before. I thought I would be used as a hostage! But no! I woke up in a warm bed, and a doctor was next to me."

Vash and Knives looked at each other, saying no word, but Meryl could almost hear them fighting against each other mentally.

"He said he cannot tell what was up with me, but whatever it was, it stopped. He said nothing is wrong with me."

One of them must have done it. But who? Vash wouldn't do this, would he? And Knives couldn't have planned it the way it happened.

Mental Knives commented on that. "You are overlooking something. What happened might not have been what either of them planned."

Milly couldn't answer their questions, but she could certainly overpass their expectations concerning the food quality. And she was as happy-go-lucky as ever. She couldn't see the tension, and if she did, she feigned ignorance pretty well.

Even later that day, almost at midnight, Meryl stared into the sky. Would they really go to space? See those lost ships? Use a hole in space to go back in time, reverse everything?

There were five tents set up right next to the shuttle. The new fifth one belonged to the nerdy guy. He didn't use it yet. He was still in the shuttle, using some sound based device for detecting cracks in the hull and fixing them. Meryl had no idea how exactly it worked, but the basic principle was that cracks resonate sound differently than, well, non cracks.

She couldn't help but wonder what Knives might have had to say.

"It's time. Go to him and see what it is."

Meryl stood up, turned towards Knives' tent, bent and opened it without saying a word. He was faced with his back towards her, looking at some papers.

"Come over here." He moved a bit to the left so that Meryl could fit next to him. It took a bit of squeezing herself against Knives. They were side to side, touching on many places much to her embarassement and she was surprised that Knives didn't seem bothered by it. But then she saw what he was doing. There were papers on the ground, filled with numbers and symbols. A simple candle was allowing them to read.

"What is this?" she asked as if Knives was a magician.

"This is my real plan."

"Your... real plan?"

"My memory isn't fuzzy. But I couldn't reveal that too soon."

He browsed through the pages, looking for ones that had some drawings on them.

"Look at this."

There was a page showing a complicated diagram with some stick figures on it. She couldn't help but smile. So there was something even Knives wasn't good at.

"This one is you." He pointed at a significantly smaller stick figure. There were arrows pointing from bubbles representing events to other bubbles representing other events.

Meryl followed the arrows while Knives was watching her eyes. She slowly deconstructed the maze that Knives had created and laid out.

"You know where it is. You remember the trajectory of the remaining ships. You know which one we need to reach. And we have two weeks to finish the work on the shuttle, or we will have to wait another three years. And," this last part surprised her and she turned her head towards him. "it's a one way trip."

Knives seemed to be a bit impressed. Or at least not the tiniest bit disappointed.

"Exactly. We need to reach the ship. If we fail, we are stranded in space. The shuttle would break apart upon reentry. On top, we will be out of fuel and cannot reach any other ship."

So failure wasn't an option.

Meryl began to understand. Knives never gave away specifics. Had Vash known about the exact problems, he could have easily foiled the plan. In this case, a little delay would have been enough to postpone everything for three years. And during those years, he could have found a way to reach the ship by himself and destroy it. Or just build a big laser and shoot it down. He would have had a big advantage.

"Once up there, how are we going to send the message?" Meryl never asked before. But she knew that there had to be a person on the other side, ready to receive a message. Obviously, Knives must have had a plan for that, too.

"The old fashioned way."

Meryl remembered his lecture about quantum communication. At first, it seemed like magic that one particle could influence another, no matter the distance. Then Knives explained that this effect itself could never be used for communication. He let Meryl figure out why, and after some time, she got it.

She had proudly announced the solution to a Knives who was lying on his back under the console. "It is impossible because once the receiver checks for a message, him checking the message changes the state of the particle. He will not know what the sender sent, because just looking at the particle will change its state."

"Excellent! Even if you and I had an entangled particle each, we would not be able to communicate with it. Imagine it as a 6 sided die that gives you a random number each time you look at it, and mine always shows the value of 7-n, meaning the value is mirrored at 3.5. Even if I can control my number and therefore know which number you will see the next time you check, you will not know if you see the number I sent you, or a random number caused by your check."

"But didn't you say it was possible?"

"It became possible by another discovery," he stopped his fiddling momentarily, propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her, "A physicist managed to keep the entanglement up until after the measurement. So, if you measure your particle twice, mine also changes again."

Meryl had to think hard at that point.

"But how does that help? The recipient still cannot tell if the change was random..."

"I will let you think about that for a while. Please give me one of the memory chips."

Meryl eventually figured it out. Knives praised her as if she was a dog who had just performed a new trick flawlessly. She felt strangely flattered as she was patted on her head.

But now was not the time to think about that.

"The old fashioned way? So, there is someone on the other side actively waiting?"

"Yes. A computer. We can contact the other side, and we can use that to send whatever message we want. A scientist will eventually read it, and everything will change from then on. So, we have exactly one message we can send."

"And you already have an idea what that message should be?"

"Well, almost. I need to consider every possible factor."

So there is no way he could just talk to his younger self?

"Why so surprised?" asked mental Knives. "You should have expected that the possibilities are very restricted. This is just an experiment, after all."

Did he really tell the truth?

"I think he did. Given all we know, he only has one try at this, and whatever he does might have huge consequences. Also, he exposed a critical weakness. He shouldn't have done this if he didn't trust you. I dot not see how this could be a ruse."

Meryl had still had a bit of doubt in her, but now, it was gone. Vash was wrong. Knives really had the intention of changing history in a way that would undo his deeds.

"Meryl?"

"Did I space out?"

"Yes, you did. I was talking to you, but you stopped reacting. Is my plan boring?"

"No, no, it's very interesting."

After a few more explanations, and a few more questions from Meryl, Knives said "I would propose to bring you back to your tent like a gentleman, but it is preferable for you to go alone. Better not arouse suspicion."

Meryl didn't know what to answer. She felt a bit like having escaped from her parents' home to visit someone in secret and now was sneaking back into her room, hoping she wouldn't get caught.

She crawled out of the tent, backwards. Knives turned around and watched her while making a comment about how it was a good idea to meet in his tent.

"You would have had to sit on me in yours."

The idea of that gave Meryl shivers and plenty of mental images.

"See you tomorrow, I guess?" She gave him an innocent, awkward smile as a means to start her escape.

"You know, after this, depending on what we do, everything might become completely different. If there is something you want to do, you should do it now. There is still time. Once we start, there is no going back."

Meryl looked at him.

"You mean, whatever happens in this timeline stays in this timeline?"

Meryl's mind browsed through some things she wanted to do, but never did.

"You are free to do whatever you want. That is one way to look at it. It will have no consequences."

"Like throwing a cake into someone's face?"

"Like throwing a cake into someone's face."

"Like telling your annoying neighbor what you think of him."

"Yes," he said with a slight smirk.

"Like confessing your love to someone to check what he responds?"

"Well, yes, that too." He was looking at her intensely, which made her cheeks warm up. "Do you have something in mind you want to do right now?"

"I think... I do."

"Then do it. Enjoy the state of freedom as long as it lasts."

Now her whole face turned red.

"Let's dance."

"I said you can do whatever you want."

She crawled back into the tent, her face close to his, staring into his eyes. He didn't evade her or move back, as if to challenge her.

"Sleep well, genius."

Meryl crawled out once again and went into her tent.

That night, Meryl slept really well.

The next days passed quickly. Vash and Knives were fighting basically all the time despite appearing peaceful, but Merly could see it now. She could see behind what was obvious.

Thanks to their assistant and Meryl's higher morale due to Milly's safe return, the remaining work on the shuttle was being done extremely quickly. Also, now that she was sure that Knives' plan wouldn't include any backstabs or hidden agendas, she could fully focus on it.

'So you held back without realizing it,' commented mental Knives.
'Looks like it.'

It had been two days since Knives invited Meryl into his tent. After that, they barely had non mission related discussions. Knives dug himself into working and micromanaged his second assistant whose name Meryl couldn't pronounce properly.
Unbeknownst to her though, her unusual performance messed up Knives' plans in an unexpected way.

Meryl could see the suns setting through the shuttle's windows, taking away their light source and painting the work-space with red and purplish hues. Knives stopped his programming and proceeded to organize his tools.

"We're done for this week," he said.

The assistant started to whistle, took his stuff and went into his tent. Nobody knew what he did in there, and nobody really cared.

Meryl didn't move.

Knives looked in her direction and raised a blond brow. "What's up? You worked very hard, you deserve a break."

'How can he act as if nothing happened?'

"Meryl?" He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. She startled. She hadn't even seen him move in her direction.

"Oh, I... wanted to talk. That's why I am still here."

"Sure." His voice was not exactly fitting to his facial expression. He looked distracted. His mind seemed to be elsewhere even though he sounded as if he was paying attention.

She waited. Nothing happened.

"Ok, so, let's talk about... mh...that 'do whatever you want' thing."

His eyes immediately focussed on her. His expression changed. "An excellent choice of topic," he said. She could tell that all of a sudden, his interest was caught. Whatever he was thinking about, he was either done or put it on hold.

"It shows a lot about a person, like how they test their potential mates for compatibility. Not only does it reveal the true wishes of someone who doesn't have to think about consequences, it also shows if you are capable of overcoming your own mental limits that are conditioned by a world where every action might have a consequence. It shows if you are able to adapt to a completely new situation where risk does not exist and failure is completely irrelevant."

'He is back to his lecturing self...'

"So, did you do what you wanted to do?"

His question caught her by surprise. Meryl felt a bit stuck. She bit her lips.

"Well, that... I tried, but it didn't really work out as expected."

He gave her a hard look. "In this kind of situation, there is no trying. You either do it, or you don't. You shouldn't waste your time playing games. As long as it doesn't ruin our mission, you should act as if this was the last week of your life. Which it most likely is. Don't let anything hold you back."

"Well, that would be the rational thing to do, but..."

"Let me guess. You are bound by something. Maybe I can help you somehow. What is it that you want to do?"

He couldn't possibly want her to say it out loud, could he?! Meryl opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Or maybe, she thought in slight despair, I was reading too much into it...

Knives looked at her struggle for a momet before breaking the silence. "I had a nice idea. It involves you, and you will most certainly enjoy it. You can consider it some kind of gift from me to you, so to speak. However, I cannot reveal any details now. But I promise it will be the most exciting thing you will ever do."

'What is he…?' She blushed. 'Isn't he overestimating himself a bit? Or did I misunderstand?'

"Most...exciting..." she breathed.

He chuckled and Meryl could see the corner of his lips twitching. "Since it is coming from me, your imagination probably just went completely wild. But that is ok. You won't be disappointed, I promise."

Meryl couldn't believe it. Her face turned into a huge smile and her heart started hammering against her chest with the rise of her adrenaline and endorphin levels. She made a few hesistant steps into Knives' direction. Her body was way smaller than his. She put her hands around his waist and hugged him.

"Ok, genius, I will wait for your surprise."

He put a hand on top of her head and whispered "Yes, you do that."

Two days before the deadline, Milly suggested to have some sort of celebration because of the huge progress they made. And that she shouldn't know about. Meryl froze for a second. It must have been Vash's idea. Did he know about the deadline? If yes, how? She didn't tell him. And what would Knives do?

"Yes, I guess a short pause wouldn't hurt," was his immediate answer. Meryl was confused, but she played along. It was actually a fun evening. Since everybody was there, she was somewhat at ease.

Knives and Vash never let each other out of sight, and they both also watched everyone else.

Milly was busy being the host and forced everybody to play games, until, just before Vash was about to win a match of chess against Knives, the latter commented:

"Looks like my queen is in a dire situation."

"You didn't seem to pay a lot of attention to her."

"I said it looks like it. You were always like this. You are the more capable one of the two of us, but you refuse to use your abilities. You always reject solutions before actually considering them. You explore the part you explore faster and deeper than I can do it, but if I do something you wouldn't, I can always get you by surprise. You do not use your advantage."

"It is true that I am forced to take less elegant ways, but as long as I can make up for it, that is still fine, isn't it? You tried to go the easier way, but you're about to lose the game."

"I will show you what I mean. Meryl, can you get me the memory cube that I didn't install yet?"

Meryl interrupted her discussion with Milly and stared across the campfire.

Vash, not being dumb, offered to accompany Meryl to the shuttle.

"That is where the cube is, right?" asked Vash.

Knives confirmed and had no objection to let him go.

Once out of hearing range, he asked the obligatory question.

"Do you still think he is telling the truth?"

"Yes, I am sure of that."

Vash and Meryl walked next to each other for about a minute.

"Say Vash, aren't you afraid he was planning to lure you away?"

"He can't do anything. Otherwise, he would lose your trust. And for some reason, he absolutely needs you. His plan doesn't work without you. So, the shuttle isn't ready yet because it's not airtight, and a suit is missing, did I get that right?"

"That's how it is." He really is monitoring our progress closely.

They reached the shuttle. Meryl opened the door and went inside.

"I will wait here. If I go inside and something breaks, the blame is on me."

Meryl was about to say that she wouldn't suspect him, but then changed her mind. He was right, better play safe. She checked an open panel in the cockpit. There were 5 memory cubes in total, 4 with green small lights signaling that everything was fine and one with a red light. She pulled it out.

At the very same moment, the entry door closed and the engine started.

She heard Vash hitting against the door, but it stopped a second later as the shuttle started to move. What was happening? A malfunction? Did Knives set this up? She looked outside the window. The shuttle was accelerating upwards, she was already about 20 meters high. Then, a screen switched on and a text message appeared.

"1. Use the suit."

Without reading further, Meryl looked for the suit. Where did she put it? Ah, behind the seat. She slipped into it as fast as she could. Then, she went back to the screen.

"2. I am afraid I cannot hide our progress any longer, so we're starting a bit earlier than planned. I programmed the autopilot to get you where you need to be. It will take between 10 and 12 hours. To be able to do this, I had to be very sloppy on some other things. You should expect the door to fall off at some point, and the windows might break, and air is definitely going to leak out. As you know by now, you'll do everything alone. But do not worry, it's going to work. I will explain everything to you."

She didn't see a reason to put on her helmet yet. The shuttle accelerated slowly. She remembered Knives' lessons about how the drive worked. It was capable of escaping a planet's gravity while constantly but slowly accelerating, contrary to old rockets that were used before.

"3. My ideal plan was for us to go together. But I just wanted to see it happen, I am not really necessary, you are. The instructions will appear once you have reached your destination. Until then, enjoy some music."

The low quality loudspeakers started to play a mix of nice classical music and white noise. Meryl sat in her seat, both afraid and excited as never before.

Meanwhile, back on the surface, Milly and Knives both saw the shuttle lift off.

"Mr. Millions, why did Meryl do that?"

"Well, I suppose since everything we will do now will be undone soon, I can reveal it all to you."