I do not own L&O: SVU.
As a warning, this chapter is written in first person - Rafael's POV.
I chose that because 1. I wanted to try my hand at first person and 2. I figured it would make the chapter more interesting.
I hope you all enjoy!
All I could remember is pain and darkness. Time didn't exist. I felt like I wasn't in my body, like some kind of voyeur surviving in foggy obscurity. There were visions of blood and an eerie grin beaming through. I kept fighting against this glooming black cloud that was holding me under. Will this ever end?
Temporarily the cloud with the creepy smile let me go. I woke up in more darkness and excruciating pain throughout my entire body. My right hand felt like someone ran it over with a car. There was fire in my chest that burned every time I took in a breath. Where the hell was I?
With all the strength I had, I managed to push myself from my stomach onto my side. A whimper escaped my mouth. Pain surged through my body and darkness threatened to take hold again. Just as darkness reared its ugly head memories came flooding back: Coming to Liv's apartment to reconcile, Olivia tied to the chair, and Lewis appearing from the shadows.
A vague memory floats to the surface: Lewis untying Olivia and heaving her over his shoulder. Everything went dark after that.
"Liv." I muttered, trying to pat my coat pocket for my phone.
Luckily it was in the pocket not on the side I was lying on. Lewis must have left with her in a mad dash and didn't bother taking my phone. Though he certainly had time to beat the shit out of me. I pulled out my phone with a great effort. I was able to press the emergency contact button on the unlock screen before it all went black again.
One moment, I'm trapped in eternal darkness. The next, someone is shining a light in my eyes. There are voices chattering but they sound muffled and far away. I slip further into the darkness. But suddenly, there's a shift in my weight. Pain rips through me. I come back to, groaning in agony. Now I'm on my back with two maybe three paramedics surrounding me. They slip the board under my body and heave me onto a gurney without warning. As they are racing me down the hall, I see Amaro and Rollins. They both have expressions of worry and grief written all over their faces.
In between the lapses of darkness there were glimpses of the ambulance and hospital. Every time the shadows grasped onto me, I had endless vision of Olivia. Most of them were just replaying what had happened with Lewis. A few times, the kiss replayed. Soon, everything went quiet. No visions, no dreams, no pain. Nothing.
/ / /
I had no idea how much time had passed but I finally came to. The sun shining through the window was too bright. I had to squint my eyes. I slowly looked around the hospital room. All I really could make out was that it was a small private room with two large windows that made up most of the wall across from the bed I was in. Grumbling, I pulled the sheet up over my face in attempt to block out that obnoxious sun. The sheet was white and offered no defense against the powerful rays.
"Rafael! You're awake!" I pulled the sheet away from my face. My mother was sitting in the corner of the room in a chair. I hadn't even noticed her because of how illuminated the room was. I felt my heart swell with happiness.
My mind was still foggy but I answered. "Madre." My voice was raspy and low but she still came over to the bedside.
She grasped my hand with both of hers, I squeezed.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!" There were tears in her eyes. "Seeing you so beaten and bruised was so hard. I thought I was going to lose you." Tear drops fell onto my hand.
"I won't leave you yet. I haven't driven you crazy enough yet."
She put her forehead to mine and just held each other. After a few moments, she moved into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.
"What is wrong with me?" She patted my hand.
"You have a concussion, badly bruised ribs, three broken fingers –" She motioned to my other hand that was bandaged. "a black eye, and a broken nose. The doctors said it could be worse. They said you're lucky that your ribs aren't broken and the concussion isn't going to leave any permanent brain damage. I told them that there's nothing lucky about this and to leave."
As she was talking, I began to drift off to sleep. Listening to her was comforting. It was like I was a child again. In my half asleep state, dreams came to me. To begin with they were just episodic flashes of nonsense. Suddenly, Lewis entered into the chaos. He first appeared as a shadow lurking in the corners of my vision. Then without warning he came into view. He had that creepy, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Only he wasn't looking at me. I followed his gaze and there was Olivia curled up in a ball, whimpering. Lewis began laughing.
"Olivia!" I woke up with a start, looking around for her.
I was in still in my hospital room with mom sitting next to me. Her brow furrowed. "Who is Olivia?"
"Lewis has her. Does everyone at the squad know? Are they looking for her?" I attempted to sit up but the entire room spun.
"Rafi." She grabbed my hand again. "They all know. They are doing everything they can to find her. Some of them wanted to stay, but they all knew they needed to put everything they had into finding Olivia. They will find her, my dear. Right now you need to focus on resting. Your abuelita will be here in a few hours." She left his bedside to go back to her chair in the corner. Before she sat down she closed the blinds.
I wanted to know more, but I was too tired to argue. Sleep came easily.
I vaguely remember my grandmother coming to the hospital but the pain medicine they had me on made it difficult to recall everything that happened. No matter how hard I fought it, I needed to sleep. Which is exactly what I did.
/ / /
My third day in the hospital, I was able to stay up for a few hours at a time. I was sitting up and eating. Nick had called earlier letting me know that Lewis was on a killing rampage. He had killed a cop and his lawyer's father. But there was no sign of Liv yet, though they were sure she was alive still. While I was relieved, he fate still was up in the air. I wished him luck in finding her.
/ / /
The fourth day in the early evening, I received a frantic call from Nick. Lewis was beaten within an inch of his life but Olivia wasn't too physically harmed. They were still going to bring her to the hospital. I told them that I'd meet them at whatever room they give her.
After what felt like hours, they finally got her into a room. Luckily it was right now the hall from mine. I managed walking the day before but my head still spun bit. Today I was stronger. Shuffling down the hall, slowly I met up with everyone. The doctors told them only one of them could be in there at a time.
"You've seen better days, Barba." Nick grinned, patting me on the back.
I rolled my eyes but smiled. "I can still give you a verbal lashing. Watch yourself."
Nick held up his hands. "I think Barba should be able to see her first. We all got some time with her in the car. Plus he literally got the shit beat out of him for her."
Everyone nodded. I opened the door. She was curled in a ball on her side, facing away from the door.
"Liv?"
Her body froze. Suddenly, she turned toward me. "Rafael?"
I sat on the edge of her bed. She hugged me tightly. I felt wetness on my chest. "I thought he killed you. He was so angry that you came. Over and over, he kept kicking you and stepping on what he could. I heard bones crunching. It was horrible."
I gently petted her head. "I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me."
What a spectacle we were. Two very broken people crying and holding onto each other as if letting go meant losing the other to the void. The wave of emotions that came over me was so out of character for me. While I had feelings, them overpowering everything was new for me. Though everything with her was foreign. I wasn't sure of the exact amount of time we held each other, it seemed to last long enough for both of us to get us through whatever hell we have to face. We both wished one another happy resting.
I went back out into the hallway. Cassidy had joined them in waiting. I nodded at them, letting them know it was the rest of their turns. I went back down to my room.
After an hour of seeing Olivia, I heard a knock at my door. I told them to come in, not taking my eyes off my phone. I was texting my boss. We were arguing about when I could come back to work. He kept telling me that I needed to rest more. I told him that I couldn't wait around for a few more weeks. I would murder someone just to be arrested and have some action in my life. After I sent the text, I looked up at the doorway. Cassidy was there.
The bewildered yet irritated look on my face must have prompted him to speak. "I hope you're feeling better." He shifted uncomfortably.
"That's not why you're here. You have something else to say. What is it?"
Cassidy's jaw tightened. "I know it was you that kissed Olivia. Or that she kissed you. Whatever. You two kissed each other. I saw the way you two clung to each other in her room. You even got the shit beat out of you for her. What the hell are you two?"
I scoffed. "Are you really being this petty right now? Your girlfriend in in the damn hospital and you're still hung up on one drunk kiss that happened months ago. She chose you, Cassidy. So please, get over your fragile ego and be there for her. Because no matter who she may be involved with, I will stand by her side and support her. Her happiness actually means more to me than my ego. I really hope that you can be man enough to do the same for her. This is not the time for a pissing contest. She belongs to no one. You should know the better than anyone else on the squad."
He sneered at me but thankfully walked out of my room without a word. It still stung that he was the one she chose but no matter who she may be dating, she will always be my soulmate. I can't change that. I just have to live with it.
Despite that whole ordeal, I continued to argue with my boss. Eventually I wore him down. He reluctantly agreed to let come back to work in two weeks. The best news I've heard in a very long time.
I would also like to thank everyone who is reading, faving, following, and reviewing my fanfic. I'd probably still write it, even if I didn't have many fans but each time I see a new review/fave/follow I can't help but beam with happiness. You are all amazing!