I don't own L&O:SVU!
It was finally Barba's first day of work after the Lewis debacle. His alarm went off at 6 am. He didn't have to be at work until 9 but he was eager to greet the day. He took a longer than necessary shower, gussied up, got dressed, made coffee and watched the news as he completed his morning routine. It felt good to have a purpose again. While he did spend most of his free days with Olivia, he still wanted to get back to the daily grind.
Getting out of his cab and walking up to his workplace exhilarated him. He nodded at some of his colleagues that stared at him with mouths open. Yes. That's right. Rafael Barba can survive an encounter with a serial killer and then saunter down the hallway like nothing ever happened. He finally got to his office. He made a point to greet his secretary. They exchanged pleasantries. She turned away from him for a moment to grab something off her desk but he had already escaped into his office.
He plopped down in his chair. As he propped his feet up on his desk and leaned back I his chair, a huge grin appeared on his face. "The real love of my life is definitely this chair." He thought, closing his eyes. Just as he relaxed into his chair, there was a knock at the door. "Come in." He spun towards the door, putting his feet back on the floor. It was his secretary.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. You disappeared before I could give you your mail." She handed him a stack of envelopes.
He nodded his thank you as she walked out. Most of them were business inquiries. Which he just added to the large pile growing on his desk. However, one of them was completely blank. "Odd."
Despite that he opened the letter. Inside of it was a piece of paper folded around something rectangular. His brow furrowed. As he unfolded the paper it revealed a picture. Fear rose up in his chest. It was a picture of him asleep in his home. After the attack with Lewis. So it was recent. On the piece of paper it read:
"You look so peaceful. Despite what was done to you.
Feel better soon.
xoxo"
He dropped the letter and picture as if it was hot. He took a few slow, fearful steps away from his desk never taking his eyes off the letter. He stopped only because of the shelf behind his desk. The fear that was fluttering in his chest turned into an inferno of panic. His lungs constricted and his brain felt like mush. Frantically, his chest heaved for oxygen. As he sunk to the floor, he tightly closed his eyes. Flashes of Lewis came to mind. The horrible Cheshire cat smile lurked in the labyrinths of his brain.
After a few moments of chaos, his breathing finally regulated. He knew he just had a panic attack. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but the thought that he now had anxiety scared him almost more than that letter did.
/ / /
After his panic attack, he went out to question his sectary. He asked her (not as calmly as he would have liked) where it came from and when she got it. There was a hint of fear in her eyes. She told him that all the letters were in his mailbox when she got here this morning. Not getting what he wanted from her, he went back into his office. Without thinking about it, he called Olivia. After it rung once, he quickly hung up. She was still on leave. "Dammit." He swore to himself.
He pulled him Nick's number in his phone and hit call. After a few rings Nick answered, "Amaro."
"Amaro, it's Barba. Uh, could you come to my office? I have a slight problem."
"Barba, I'm really busy. I—"
"Please Nick. I'm not just asking as a colleague, but as a friend who needs your help." Barba cringed internally at how dependent and needed that sounded but he was afraid.
/ / /
Nick got to his office within a half hour. Barba was greeted with Nick's famous half-grin and nod. Under different circumstances Barba would be happy to be greeted by him. But right now, nothing was putting his mind at ease.
"What's wrong Barba?" Nick's worry lines seemed to be deeper than the last time they were face to face. There was a twinge of guilt in Barba's chest. He pushed it aside.
"I received an unnerving letter." He pointed his to desk. He hadn't touched it after he dropped it.
Nick pulled on latex gloves as he made his way to Barba's desk. As he looked at the letter his face changed from stern detective to a look of annoyance. "What the hell, Barba? You called me over here for a blank piece of paper?"
Barba's stomach dropped. Anger swelled in his chest. "What the hell are you talking about? There was—" He grabbed the letter out of his hand but it was indeed blank.
Fear replaced the anger. He dropped the letter, frantically looking for the picture. But it too was gone. He felt all the blood rush out of his face. "I swear. There was a picture of me sleeping right here. And there was writing on his paper. I wouldn't just call you down here for nothing. I—"
Amaro shook his head, holding up his hand. "Barba, I think you need to take some more time off. You aren't ready."
"It came in this blank envelope too!" He help it up.
"Are you sure you weren't just going to compose a letter and thought you saw something?"
Barba opened his mouth to retort but he had nothing. He grimaced.
Nick gave him a strained smile before exiting Barba's office. Rafael slowly sunk down into his chair. He leaned his head on his hand as he stared down at the letter. Well, blank piece of paper now. He was baffled. Had he hallucinated the whole thing? No, he recalled the picture and letter vividly. Where had that picture gone? He was only gone from his office for a few moments. Could someone have come in and taken it? Angrily he scoffed. All of this was making him sound utterly insane.
Suddenly, feeling very exhausted he leaned back in his chair. This is not how he wanted his first day at work to go. Eager to put this behind him, he threw away the letter and envelope. There was no proof that the letter existed. It was probably just Lewis trying to scare him. The only way he could get the incident out of his head was to bury himself in work. So he did just that. He hopped on some paperwork before having to go to court, trying his best to keep it out of mind.
Despite the easiness of the rest of the day, a hint of fear bubbled just below the surface of everything he did.
Hello readers, I am back! I got caught up in the Hannibal fandom for awhile there.
But I reminded myself to come back to SVU and this fic.
Thank you for your patience!
I hope you enjoyed the chapter.
It's a character arc that I'm introducing to Barba.
So I will steer away from the shows plotline slightly, but not too much.
The next chapter will have Olivia, her return, and more of that barson slow burn! ;)