There will be a flashback next time to explain of what happened before this scene! Thank you very much for your patience and I hope you enjoy it.

You Are My Heart

Byakuya… Renji thought as he continued to run. He had no idea why he was running, only feeling the cold icy hold of fear as his breaths continued to come in rasping gasps. Byakuya… His thoughts were only focused on the blurring scenes, mindless of the fact that his comrades were shouting for him to Stop! Please, Renji! Stop!

They were there.

The memories haunting in his mind.

Kuchiki-taichou…Byakuya…standing in the rain, blood on his zanpakutou as the silver tears ran down his face. So young and so afraid… Renji had watched in horror as Byakuya's memories drowned him. I…never thought that…I would ever taste the actual emotion of grief. The young Shinigami with his vice-captain badge proudly on his shoulder, the kanji for six and the camellia – "Surely you know the symbol of our division, Renji." – almost shining in the cold world of Hueco Mudno beside his grandfather. The horror had only occurred moments later, the bloodshed in its wake enough to make Renji feel sick. It was literally a world of blood as Hollows suddenly ambushed the sixth division. The red-haired Shinigami watched motionlessly as horrific screams haunted his ears, the members of the sixth division's blood soaking the ground as their lives were crushed from their eyes. Byakuya… He could see the younger version of his taichou killing numerous Hollows, his dark gray eyes observing the carnage as the officers screamed. Only Renji, knowing Byakuya so well from being his vice-captain, knew of how close the present vice-captain was breaking. His body was tense, his eyes slightly dilated, and his hands…slightly shaking.

The Hollows advanced as the then-vice captain of the sixth division attacked, the Hollows screaming as they met their end from the lethal blade of Senbonzakura. It was too late though. All of the officers were dead, their reiatsu disappeared. Renji watched with bated breath as a film came over his captain's eyes, and then hardened as he turned.

"Jiisama!" Byakuya's grandfather was fighting a monstrous Hollow, a trickle of blood streaming on his temple. The aged Shinigami's eyes met his grandson's for a moment, noting of the bloodstained sand behind him and of the officers who had lost their lives – and souls, Renji thought, remembering the horror as he witnessed Shinigami having their souls eaten as the dark liquid coming from their wounds trickled onto the sand. The red-haired Shinigami had told himself that it was only a memory, that it was only a memory and that everything was alright now, and it would have worked if he had not seen the brief horror and despair on Byakuya's face as the officer screamed and screamed until his entire existence faded away. His father… Renji thought with cold fear as he witnessed the vice-captain kill as many Hollows with a viciousness he had only seen after As Nodt, met the same end. No body… Renji thought as he remembered of what Yoruichi had said that night when he woken from a nightmare. Only a broken zanpakutou. "I had never seen him cry since that night, Renji. Even with his brother, Byakuya was lost. A lost and broken little boy." Renji watched as Byakuya's grandfather's blood dripped onto the ground, a wound on his side as the aged Shinigami was losing a lost battle against a Hollow that was too strong.

"Jiisama!" Renji could only breathe as he witnessed Byakuya running, the sand causing a haze of sand particles to fly through the air. Two Hollows, that he had yet to defeat, were running as well, the younger Shinigami too intent on saving his captain to notice the dense malice surrounding them. Byakuya held his zanpakutou in the air, his breathing almost nonsexist as his grandfather fell on his knees.

"Jiisama!"

Byakuya's grandfather knew what his grandson meant to do. His eyes widened, and he attempted to stand, his scream haunting Renji's ears.

"Don't do it, Byakuya! There will too much strain on your body! Don't do it!"

At that moment, the Hollow's claw embedded itself in Kuchiki Ginrei's stomach, and a dark pool of horror came to Renji's stomach as he heard the scream that haunted his nightmares.

"AHHH!" Where… Renji thought as he heard Byakuya screaming as his heart thudded in his chest. Where have I…heard it before? Where...? Suddenly his eyes widened impossibly wide as he remembered the battle that had almost cost Byakuya his life. Almost…exactly the same… he thought, the shout coming from his taichou from that day before his own zanpakutou had been used against him. But why…was he screaming then? It was impossible to forget the day when his taichou's blood had been all that he could see. The blades of Senbonzakura Kageyoshi piercing his entire body, seeing only a sea of pink and red. I remember pleading…for it to stop. To stop… The blades that Renji knew that Byakuya had worked so hard for shielding him for his own attack. I just wanted it to stop! I couldn't breathe! I couldn't do anything! His beloved…his captain…falling and getting cut because he had defended Renji. The blood rolling down his face. I just…wanted… Renji had thought after he had woken with bandages around his entire body, the last time he had seen Kuchiki Byakuya flashing in his mind. To protect you… Renji had told no one of how he had cried after he was informed that his captain had survived. I don't know what would happen to me…if he hadn't lived. Now Renji witnessed as Byakuya unleased his bankai, the despair and rage and pain evident as he shouted the name of his bankai to save a person precious to him.

Renji could only remember vaguely as the Hollows were killed. Now his eyes stared at the limp forms of grandfather and grandson, captain and vice-captain, and mentor and student as Byakuya crouched beside his dying grandfather.

"Jiisama…I am sorry."

Kuchiki Ginrei looked up at his grandson, blood trickling down his throat as he stared at the broken form of the young Shinigami. There was an audible shatter of the zanpakutou beside them.

No… Renji thought desperately. No…this can't be real. This can't be real. It was real. The captain of the sixth division stared at his vice-captain, staring into his grandson's dark gray eyes.

"Do you remember what I told you, Byakuya?"

"Yes."

Somehow, Renji didn't know how it could be possible, but it started to rain. The rain started softly, barely a sprinkle until it began to soak the sand. Byakuya's hair became wet, his dark strands plastered against his forehead, and the Shinigami wear heavy against his body.

"You were only a child at the time." Byakuya's breath hitched slightly, and despite himself, Renji felt rage boil inside him as he remembered the memory of a tiny Byakuya, newly grieving from the death of his father, his face wet with tears as his grandfather told him that it was his duty to discard his emotions as he was to be the head of the Kuchiki clan. He said that to Ichigo when they fought…that he had never had emotions and that family members do not matter in the rule of the law. Hearing the words again from Byakuya's own lips made Renji realize of how utterly wrong he was about his captain. It seemed to him that Byakuya meant the opposite of what he said…all that he said. Seeing the Shinigami struggling to hold onto to his sanity made Renji realize of how broken and alone his captain had been. I thought that when he told me to lower my blade when we fought…he was mocking me for thinking I could defeat him. He watched as pain clouded in Byakuya's eyes, his hands clutching his sides in agony as the extent of using his bankai became known. When he told me about using my bankai…telling me that it took ten years to fully control it…I had no idea what he was talking about, did I? Blood slowly trickled from Byakuya's mouth, his face pale as he faced his grandfather.

Byakuya…

"I have never told you of how proud I am of you, Kuchiki Byakuya." The aged Shinigami sighed, staring at the vice-captain. "I have silenced my words and have observed as you have overcome your struggles. You know of what I speak, Byakuya, and I am now telling you what has always been in my heart." Kuchiki Ginrei closed his eyes, opening them again to find his grandson's face pale and still as stone. "You are my pride…and you are my heart."

"Your…" Byakuya's eyes widened, and his voice rasped before he could control it. "Your…heart…?"

"When one's heart completes another," Kuchiki Ginrei whispered. "When one's existence completes another…" There was a pause. "I am sorry about Hisana, Byakuya. Your existence was completed with her own, and I….will be gone as well now." Naked grief drowned in Byakuya's eyes. "I know that she would have enjoyed hearing those words from you…and I hope that someday you will tell someone those words."

Byakuya's head was bowed, and Renji didn't have to see to know that his hands were shaking. "Byakuya's mother wore the same material of the heirloom of the Kuchiki clan in her hair." Yoruichi's words echoed in Renji's head as the rain continued to pour in the memory. "It was given to her by her husband, Byakuya's father. A symbol of their love for each other." Now Renji remembered as a saddened gaze that echoed across Yoruichi's face as she spoke to Renji directly. "I know that Byakuya covered you with his scarf after your battle Renji. In fact, I considered teasing him about it for weeks on end until I realized what it meant." Her eyes had bored into his own. "It was his confession, Renji. Telling you that he loved you." Renji still remembered of how his mouth had refused to stay closed as the statement echoed in his mind. It had been before they had found Byakuya, his older brother holding him by his throat as the living nightmare again invaded Renji's mind. So much blood… He could barely see Byakuya's face there was so much of it. He had not expected that his entire body would freeze as Byakuya's brother released the Shinigami, causing the bleeding Kuchiki to fall on the ground.

"Byakuya!" Renji remembered screaming. He was only able to stand still as he watched with bated breath as Byakuya stood, his chest barely moving and splatters of blood falling onto the ground. "Byakuya!" The Shinigami's head was bowed as blood continued to pool on the ground, thinking of the living nightmare he was in as he saw the brother lift his hand, remembering Byakuya falling…remembering that his taichou's name was on his lips as he fell into unconscious after attempting to attack As Nodt. Kuchiki…taichou… Somehow Renji had found himself running towards Byakuya, knowing that it was a trap as his name fell on deaf ears from his comrades. He didn't remember what happened next. He couldn't. Now his only reality was experiencing Byakuya's memories, trying to desperately find Byakuya as the Shinigami went inside his inner world.

"Are you crying, Byakuya?"

Renji whipped his head around to see Byakuya shaking, the rain now soaked through him as his grandfather closed his eyes and whispered his last words to him.

"No…Jiisama." There was no other sound expect for the sound of the rain. "It is…only the rain."

"Only…the rain." Renji closed his mouth to stop a scream from forcing from his throat as he heard Byakuya's screams of grief and saw his tears.

Another memory.

"Nii-sama…" Byakuya whispered as his eyes drifted to the blood dripping onto the floor. "Why are you doing this?"

"It should be simple, otouto." The brother's smile was unlike any smile that Renji had yet to see. The façade of kindness and gentleness. "The elders chose you…as the clan head after our grandfather's passing. That is why I am doing this."

"Nii-sama." Now the mask that Renji recognized echoed across Byakuya's face. "You did not have to follow extreme measures to exploit your displeasure."

"Displeasure?" Kuchiki Akiya asked in a dangerously calm voice. His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. "Displeasure?" The heads rolled to the ground. "This is not displeasure, Byakuya!" There was a sneer in the tone as he shouted his younger twin's name. "This…is my justice!"

"Justice?" Byakuya stared at his twin, his eyes barely concealing the shock on his face. "What…justice?"

Renji held his breath as he witnessed Akiya screaming. The world seemed to blur as Byakuya was still as he heard the screams and cold words coming from his brother's mouth. "It was mine! It was supposed to be mine!" Akiya flash stepping away, Byakuya so still that Renji thought that perhaps he could even touch the very memory. A meeting between the surviving elders and Byakuya, a shouting match between the elders as their clan leader stood eerily still as both sides shouted for Akiya to die. Oh…Byakuya… Renji thought as he heard the young leader's protests, his mask falling further and further as the elders continued to push for Byakuya to kill his brother for what he had done. How…? Renji thought as he witnessed Byakuya finally confirming his assent and bowing to the elders for "their guidance." He saw of how a faint tremor traveled through his captain's body he stood beside the door, breathing heavily before he closed his eyes and walked slowly to prepare…for the living nightmare. Renji saw of how his taichou stared at his zanpakutou for hours on end in his bedroom, his eyes vacant as he finally sheathed Senbonzakura and walked outside, closing the screen behind him.

The red-haired Shinigami saw of how the brothers fought. Akiya screaming abuse at his brother, shouting that he was the one who should have been chosen – that their father had been weak, their mother had been weak, and their grandfather had been the weakest of all, a fool who was blinded by his pride of the Kuchiki clan. Renji had been stunned to find that Byakuya was holding back, not using his zanpakutou as he parried Akiya's attacks, his breathing rapid and sweat slowly sliding down his face as Akiya wounded him, blood dripping onto the ground. Byakuya's mind become ravaged by memories, the sweet and idyllic memories of his beloved older brother invading and poisoning him as his blood continue to pour from his wounds. Always…together… Renji thought as the memories echoed in his mind, vomit building in his throat. Byakuya's first memory had been sleeping by Akiya, watching with fascination as the infant's hands curled in sleep and the same dark hair on his head as the infant suddenly burrowed his face into his brother's shoulder. His first word. Akiya… Sounding almost like a bell, a beautiful bell that rang in Renji's ears as Byakuya grew with his brother always by his side. Training together in secret in the rain, the brothers laughing and smiling side by side, Byakuya's horror as his twin started to cough blood when he tried to attack Norinaga for saying that the only accomplishment their father had done was sticking…his part into his wife. "Not that truly mattered anyway," the teen Kuchiki sneered as tears started to gather in Byakuya's eyes as Akiya's former concerned expression became enraged. "That woman died, and the only one who is of actually of use and promise is only a sniveling brat." Renji had wanted to kill him. Kill him with his bare hands, but Akiya got there first, trying to attack Norinaga before he fell hard on the ground, the pressure too much for his lungs as he started to cough blood. Akiya holding his twin as he cried as children, the same young man now laughing with happiness as his brother married Hisana. The grief and tears as Byakuya told him that their grandfather had died along with the sixth division.

Renji felt the pure agony and despair as Byakuya's memories consumed him, feeling a sob on the back at his throat as he felt the very despair and heartbreaking reality that Byakuya was in as his brother continued to scream hatred. Please… he thought. Please, he thought again as he watched a large wound begin to bleed on Byakuya's side. This pain, Byakuya…

"I hate you!" Akiya screamed. His mouth came into a snarl and his eyes were wild with rage. "I hate you!" Blood continued to fall onto the ground.

Byakuya… Renji thought as he watched as his future taichou managed to speak, a weak whisper on his lips as his brother's forehead brushed against his. Something changed when Akiya with whatever the older twin whispered against his brother's face. Renji watched without breath as he watched Byakuya's broken emotion disappear into the cold and emotionless façade that Renji knew. His voice shouted into the air, and Renji swallowed as the final form of Senbonzakura showed itself to Kuchiki Akiya. There was a blinding scene of blood and scattered sakura petals, a scream that pierced Renji's heart so deeply he thought it would stop. Byakuya stood before the body of his brother, his eyes empty and vacant as the wounds on his body continued to bleed. He didn't seem to be aware of them. He didn't seem to be aware of anything or anyone. Suddenly, Byakuya fell onto the ground, Senbonzakura falling from his hands. Renji stared, his heartbeat hard against his chest as the memory faded.

Renji was running again, feeling the damaged memories as the scene of Byakuya's inner world came into his mind. The world was surrounded by sakura trees, the petals falling to the ground and dancing in the wind. He could see a small pond with lotus flowers floating on his left, the soft grass against his ankles as he continued to run, shouting Byakuya's name now. It's…always me, isn't it? Renji thought as he desperately shouted for Byakuya. Always me…why? Renji could now accept what he had seen when Akiya had held up his hand. It was an illusion, one so real Renji almost stepped back. He could hear the sharp gasp from Rukia as she and the others stared at the illusion that was Abarai Renji.

It was when he had just joined the sixth division. He did not have as many tattoos as he did now, and his hair was shorter then. The vice-captain badge, which he only wore on his first day, was there. But his eyes… His eyes were different. Renji had looked never looked at someone that way before. The peace and pure love easing out of his eyes and expression was enough to stop Renji from thinking.

"Taichou…" The very word caused Byakuya to stiffen, and Renji tried to control his breathing as he saw his captain begin to shake. "Taichou…" The illusion-Renji smiled, a true smile that Renji had yet to smile since his days in Rokungai. There was so much love in his expression, so much love that Renji had never thought existed.

"Kill him," Akiya stated. The words echoed, stilling Renji's heart as he looked at the cold blackness in Akiya's eyes. "Kill him, otouto. Kill him as you did to me…your other half."

He heard a sharp strangled cry from Byakuya as the illusion-Renji continued to smile. "There's always someone that even the strongest Shinigami cannot kill," the red-haired Shinigami remembered learning from the Academy. How could I not see…? Renji thought as he saw Akiya start to cup his brother's face, frozen and swallowing vomit as he looked toward the illusion. How could I not see that it was me…that he could not kill?

"He definitely could have killed you, Renji." The vice-captain's breath hitched as he remembered Ichigo's words as the captain of the eighth division stared at the Shinigami staring blankly at the Hueco Mundo night sky with nightmares still on his mind. "I remember when I fought him, and of how I shit myself at the sight of that bankai. The final form." A frown formed on the former substitute Shinigami's face as he ran his hands through his orange hair. "It was so frightening…and I remember when he told me that I was the second one to see it. If you truly had meant to kill you, Renji, he could have easily used that technique. But no." Ichigo's brown eyes observed Renji's shocked face. "It wasn't because he thought you weren't worthy of seeing that form. Hell, he called me a disgrace of whatever for having a bankai as he stated that he had defeated a captain-level Shinigami."

"He was talking about you, Renji." Renji looked at Rukia, who was half-smiling at him. Sadness appeared in her eyes, and Renji had no idea why until she said, "I never heard him say such a compliment to anyone before I was almost executed…and I'm starting to understand what Yoruichi-san said."

"It's just that…" Ichigo sighed and turned to both Renji and Rukia. "Back when you said that you kissed, Renji, I was skeptical. He tried to kill you…at least that's what I thought until I remembered about his answer to my questions."

"What question?" Renji asked.

"I asked him of how he could kill his own sister," Ichigo replied with a gentle look at Rukia. "And he told me that as head of one of the four noble houses of Soul Society, emotions had no meaning. The laws ruled over everything. Family did not matter. He couldn't kill you, Renji, even though you fought him and likely would have been tried for treason." Renji swallowed, Ichigo's gaze never leaving his as the memories of their fight echoed in his mind again. "He was almost able to kill Rukia, his sister, who he knew for fifty years, and yet…he did not kill you. His vice-captain who had only been in his division for only a little while. And then there's the scarf thing." Ichigo sighed and almost grinned at Renji's stunned expression. "It makes sense."

It's always me, isn't it? Renji thought as he shouted, remembering of how a strangled scream had broken from Byakuya's mouth as Akiya threatened him to kill the illusion that was too lifelike for Renji's liking. Byakuya had closed his eyes, small gasps coming out from his mouth when Renji suddenly felt a pull – being drawn into a cold black hole, drowning. Then came the memories. Byakuya's memories that Byakuya would rather see and withdraw in his own inner world than to kill an illusion of Renji.

Tears pricked Renji's eyes at the thought of the love Byakuya had for him. Love… he thought, remembering of holding his taichou as they kissed. The whispers and confessions that echoed through his mind. Of thinking, as his taichou stared at the moon, of how beautiful he was. Love…which I never thought existed. All I know, Renji thought, his breath catching in his throat as he saw a familiar figure, lying beneath a cherry blossom tree, running as fast as he could. All I know is that I cannot bear to see this kind of pain on your face again. Your pain…is mine.

We complete each other, Byakuya, I know that now. Renji crouched down beside a sleeping Byakuya, quite certain he had never seen such beauty. Byakuya's raven hair was slightly across his eyes, and his breathing was slow and peaceful. His hands were by his sides, one slightly on his abdomen. He was wearing a pure white kimono, and the sakura petals falling on his face almost made Renji want to weep from happiness.

"Byakuya." Renji whispered, his hand slightly stroking Byakuya's hair. So beautiful…like all of you, Renji thought as he stroked the raven hair. "Byakuya, wake up. It's me." A small smile echoed across Renji's face as he saw Byakuya's eyes start to open. "It's…Renji."

"…Renji?" Byakuya's shocked gaze echoed through Renji's smiling eyes. "Renji…is that…?"

"Byakuya," Renji sighed. Before he could stop himself, the Shinigami planted a tender kiss on the Kuchiki's forehead. "It is me, Byakuya." He swallowed to prevent tears from trailing across his cheeks. "Your…heart."

"My heart…" Byakuya whispered, his hand reaching across to Renji's and placing it above. Their hands entwined, and the two stared into each other's eyes before Renji lowered his head and kissed Byakuya on the lips.