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Eve decided two days into their vacation that the only people that could truly handle James were M and Christina.

Disneyland Paris. Should be simple enough. But James hated lines. She found that out every time they had to stand in a line: for ice cream, for a ride, for a balloon. He complained about people standing too close to him. He shot death glares at anyone who came into his personal space. He snapped at the ride attendants.

She knew it had to be hard for him. He was trained to constantly be on the look out for danger. He wasn't exactly trained to be a good daddy on vacation with his family. He was trying. She could see he was trying to experience everything through Christina's eyes. They never talked about, but she knew they were both trying to give her a better childhood than they had had.

Christina handled him perfectly. She begged for ice creams and pink hats. She got them. She got tired and was promptly picked up and carried.

Eve just wanted to watch. She watched every moment James spent with their daughter, soaking it up, storing it away. She watched them walk hand in hand everywhere. She watched him read fairy tales to her. She watched Christina fall asleep in his lap.

She wasn't sure the exact moment she believed. She quit watching and worrying. She started living in the moment. Being a family. Believing it. Wanting it.

They were a family. A real family.

People would say things like "You're daughter is beautiful." Women would smile at James, then drop their eyes when Eve would glare at them. She could almost pretend that her (boyfriend?) wasn't a spy, that they were married, that Christina was growing up in a two parent home.

They were embracing the normalcy. Or maybe the normalcy was an escape in itself.

Christina had some princess tea party to attend on their second day. They dropped her off, waving goodbye and blowing kisses. Then James grabbed Eve's hand and practically dragged her back to their hotel room.

The had sex in the way that parents stealing a moment alone do: hurried, frantic, crazy. His hands were everywhere, all over her body. She was sweaty and clutching bits of his hair as he plunged inside of her. It was perfect. An hour later, they were perfectly dressed and smiling as they picked up Christina.

Eve was happy. Too happy.

Maybe that's why it happened.

That night, Christina fell asleep in James' lap. Eve gently picked her up and laid her in the bed, covering her with her yellow blanket. "She's out," she whispered, sweeping a lock of hair out of Christina's face.

"Come to bed."

"I have to shower first," she said, standing up.

"Forget that. Shower in the morning. Come to bed," he insisted.

"I'm all dirty. I need a shower," she laughed.

"Vesper-,"

He stopped short, his face ashen.

Eve stood still, her heart floundering about in her chest. Vesper. She knew who that was. She knew, without him ever telling her, how much Vesper had meant to him. She stared at him, unsure of what to say.

The pleasant, easy, charming smile was back on his face. His facade. His mask. "I mean, Eve. Just come to bed."

She walked off and locked herself in the bathroom. She took a long shower. She thought and she thought.

Why would he call me that? Is he still in love with her? Why hasn't he told me anything? Anything! Anything about his life. He doesn't say he loves me. Her thoughts whirled around and around.

When she finally came to bed, he moved so that he was holding her. He smelled her skin and she could feel his smile. "Vanilla."

Any other night, she would smile and flirt back. But she laid there stiffly, her face buried in her pillow.

He was quiet a minute. "What's wrong?"

"Why did you call me that?"

He sighed. "It was just a mistake, Eve. No big deal."

"It IS a big deal, James. It's a big deal to me. Do you still love her?"

"She's dead."

"That's not what I asked. I asked if you still love her."

"No." His voice was as sharp as glass.

"But you still think about her."

"Every now and then. It's been a long time, Eve."

"Do you care about me?"

"I don't know how you can even question that."

"You never say it, James!"

"Look around you, Eve. I'm here. And you think I don't care about you?"

"I think you love Christina."

"Christina isn't the only person I can love."

Eve closed her eyes and savored the words.