AN: I tried to go with some angst. hopefully i got it right, but judging by the time (1 in the morning) i will come back to fix this. Hope you enjoy, please Read and Review when done...Mischief Managed

"Rukia, do you know what it's like to be alone?"

"…."

"Rukia?"

"…"

"Guess not…"

Ichigo sighed as he sat in his bed. The moon spilled into his room, illuminating it in a pale silver glow. Tonight was a night that the rain was flooding his being, casting his mind and possibly his inner world in a flood of despair. It had been thirteen months now since he last saw Rukia, thirteen months since he had held her, felt her punches, and heard her voice. He missed her, more than anyone could ever imagine, more than he let on.

"You want to know something?"

He spoke into nothingness, a ritual he would do whenever he couldn't sleep. Which these days were becoming more often. His mind and senses were drowsy but he was determined for the petite shinigami to hear him. After all, she promised to visit him when she could.

"When I met you, it was set up. Created by a madman bent on destruction so that he would end up ruler. But I think differently. I believe meeting you was fate," He smiled at the memory of the first night, "It never felt more right having you in my world, I'll have to admit, after saving you in the soul society, when you chose to stay? A big part of me would miss you. And I did, the rain came back and I couldn't even use my bankai properly." He finished with a dry chuckle.

Sighing he shifted to sit on the edge of his bed rather than against the backboard. Ichigo couldn't stand it; he was on edge himself because of the rain. Through his body a weird feeling emerged. It felt as if lightning were coursing his veins, it wasn't painful but it was extremely uncomfortable. His chest too was closing up on him, making it a whole lot harder to breathe. "It was then when I suspected I may have held feelings greater than friendship for you."

He stood, the feeling in his veins building up so much that sitting down was too much for him to bear. "I never said anything at first, there was no reason too. Ha, we were in a time of war. Well more like the beginning of it but still, where does love belong in war? Nowhere." He chuckled darkly, "Any way's I doubted you would've loved me back. I mean my soul was a complete mess. I'm part Quincy, shinigami, and I host a hollow in me as well. I'm what Aizen would've called perfection, but to the soul society? To what you call home? I'm an abomination." He grimaced.

Breathing in and out he began to get frustrated. The feeling in his veins carried on, his chest grew tighter and he was now pacing. He was glad his family was not in the house, his father being away and out of town for a meeting while the twins deciding to sleep over at friend's houses.

"ARGH" Ichigo growled as he held his chest. He hated this feeling! It made him feel weak! Vulnerable! He is a damned war hero for crying out loud! War heroes do not act like this. "DAMMIT!" he punched the wall near his desk, it caved in with a hollow sound and pain shot through his hand. Slowly, he brought it out of the fist-sized hole in the wall and took notice to the blood trickling down his knuckles.

The rain was getting heavier now. It poured like a waterfall practically. He held his head with widened eyes as every negative and self-destructive thought flashed through his head. A sadistic, familiar laugh rang through his head.

"No, no, please no."

Miss me?

"Go to hell!"

We did remember? It was fun. The voice practically sneered.

Ichigo growled in anger, reaching out he threw everything from his desk onto the floor. Papers, books and a lamp crashed to the floor. Everything was becoming too much, he was losing it. Again his arms were wrapped around his head, he knew what he needed. He needed her; to hear her, see her.

"Rukia…" his voice cracked, "Please, don't let this be some sick joke. I need you…"

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was my choice, but. Falling in love with you was out of my control."

"…" Nothing.

"Rukia…."

Ichigo dropped to his knees and gave a mighty howl of pain and suffering.

Rukia covered her ears as hard as she could. Not caring that she felt like she was crushing her own skull. Anything to not hear him screaming, she hated seeing him like this. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed. Unknowing to Ichigo she was true to her word, tonight she visited him, the night that his rain was the hardest on him. She would give anything for him to acknowledge her, so that she could comfort him in this time of despair.

"Ichigo…" she sobbed. Wishing he could hear her.

She moved closer to him, and hesitantly hugged him. Feeling his warmth shake with every draw of breath, he wouldn't feel it but she could, she hugged him tight as he let out his suffering. Regretting the fact that he gave his power to save the world. She would give anything to see him scowling at her again. "I Love You Too," she sobbed uselessly. Rukia wished she could've told him, to give him an anchor of hope, maybe he wouldn't be like this had she told him, who knows. All she does know, is that she too had fallen hard for the fallen shinigami, and was powerless to help him. If there were a hell on earth, here is where it would reside.