Class Conflict
"Eveningtide, Big Macintosh! Farest thee well?"
Big Macintosh sat in his usual stargazing spot atop a wooded hillock. As Princess Luna took her place beside him he nodded and said, "Eyup."
An attentive pony who knew Big Macintosh well might have caught the subtle nuances in the way he said his standard reply that he did not in fact fare very well. But subtle nuances were not Princess Shouty Pants' strong suit. She smiled broadly at his answer. It was something she had found herself doing more and more of late.
"Wunderbar!" Princess Luna cried enthusiastically as she gave her sturdy companion a friendly wing buffet that nearly sent him sprawling. He turned and looked at her. His face was as impassive as ever, but one nuance Luna was learning to recognize was the all but invisible signs of amusement there. She held a hoof to her muzzle and looked abashed.
"Prithee, good citizen, accept Our apologies," she said in a more subdued tone. She tried to sound regal but couldn't quite keep the grin off her face. Big Macintosh's smile blossomed in reply and made his good humor plain to see.
"S'alright," he said placidly. "Nice of y'all to come visit again."
"We could hardly pass on the opportunity when Our duties have conspired to bring us anon to Ponyville," she replied with a grand sweep of her hoof. "Though we fear the court is abuzz with rumors after our previous assignations. We found it necessary to concoct a tale of vamponies on the prowl."
She paused for a second, then added, "Fluttershy helped."
Big Macintosh greeted this news with a nod of his head and a calm "Eyup."
"But enough of courtly affairs," Luna continued. "We—I, have prepared a fine evening for tonight's viewing pleasure."
With that the two fell into a companionable silence. Minutes ticked by. The minutes stretched into an hour and then a second hour. Eventually Big Macintosh said, "Y'all made the Plowpony's harness buckle a li'l brighter."
Luna beamed. "Indeed. We have considered the change well these past twelve months and six but still feared We had decided with undue haste."
"Ah think it looks nice," Big Macintosh said. "Draws your eye to the center and makes the whole thing easier to see."
"Our thoughts exactly," Luna said happily. "We have also considered that We might dim the point of the Archer's arrow and brighten both ends of the bow for similar reasons."
Big Macintosh chewed his straw. Luna looked at him anxiously. "Thoughts?"
Big Macintosh chewed meditatively for a bit longer before saying, "Seems to me that would make ponies look at the outsides. What about that one in between?"
Luna looked up and frowned. "The one equidistant betwixt the anchors of the bow, where shaft would cross string?"
"Eyup," Big Macintosh said.
Luna's face turned thoughtful. "Yes... We see the possibilities. It would indeed serve to center the constellation better for the eye."
"Eyup," Big Macintosh said.
"Huzzah!" Luna cried as she wrapped one foreleg around Big Macintosh's neck in a grateful hug. "Once again thine eye hast served us well! Thou hast the patience and perception of an alicorn as well as the proportions! Truly you should have been born a prince."
"Nope," Big Macintosh said as he struggled for air against the princess's ridiculously strong grip. Luna released him with a laugh.
"Equestria's loss was the apple orchard's gain. But We thank you, dear friend, for your wisdom and company both."
"You're welcome," Big Macintosh said as he rubbed his throat. "You're always welcome around these parts." He paused for a moment before adding, "Nice to have a pretty mare around that's not constantly trying to jump mah bones."
Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? Yet again?"
"Eyup," Big Macintosh said. "Crazy boarder AJ took in for Princess Twilight."
Luna chuckled. "Every mare grows a touch crazed when you are about, methinks."
"Maybe," Big Macintosh rumbled. "But most of them don't go telling Apple Bloom tall tales about you and your sister conquering Equestria with an army of clockwork soldiers."
Big Macintosh snickered at that. He missed the look on Luna's face as she froze stockstill.
"Verily?" Luna asked with a nervous chuckle. "How absurd! Wherever could such a story have come from? Pray tell, who is this boarder?"
"Crazy unicorn who took over Ponyville with some magic geegaw last year," Big Macintosh said with a shrug. "Princess Twilight sentenced her to work to make up for it and AJ volunteered the farm." He paused, then added, "Personally Ah think AJ's enjoying putting her through the paces a little too much."
"Is that so?" Luna asked a little too quickly. "Mayhaps we will speak with our peer in Ponyville about the matter." She rose. "But in any case we must needs be going. Fare thee well, Macintosh Apple!"
Big Macintosh started to comment that she was leaving early but Luna cut him off with a peck on the cheek that left him stammering and blushing as she flew off. After she had melted away into the night sky Big Macintosh regarded the spot where she had disappeared thoughtfully. Had he been imagining things or...?
"Nope," he said aloud. There was no way that story had spooked the Princess of the Night.
†
That's her!" Apple Bloom whispered. "That's Diamond Tiara!"
"Excellent," Trixie replied. She smirked as she looked through the spyglass levitating in front of her. "Now to commence phase one."
Apple Bloom wasn't in the habit of using fancy vocabulary or phrasing, but a couple years of crusading had given her a basic grounding in operational planning and terminology. "Ya mean pretending ta bump into her?"
"...Yes Apple Bloom, that is what Trixie meant," Trixie said. She sounded annoyed.
"How is this supposed to help again?" Apple Bloom said skeptically.
Trixie chuckled and patted Apple Bloom in the head. "Just watch and learn, little filly. Watch and learn."
With that Trixie assumed what Apple Bloom was starting to recognize as Trixie's stage posture and strode across the park towards Diamond Tiara. The basket she was levitating bobbed along silently behind her. Apple Bloom watched her go and wondered if she should tell an adult or at least get a head start on calling the ambulance.
"Apple Bloom!"
Apple Bloom turned to see Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo trotting towards her. "Oh hey girls. Didjya talk to Zecora?"
They nodded their heads.
"So what did she say?"
"We tried to ask her about the princesses thing," Scootaloo explained, "but when we mentioned the part about the badgers Zecora's eyes got really big and she said something about 'the legends being true."
"And then she chased us out with a broom," Sweetie Belle chimed in sourly.
"Dang," Apple Bloom said. "And she didn't say anything else?"
"Nah," Scootaloo said. "She just asked who we'd heard about it from."
"What did you tell her?" Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exchanged glances. Apple Bloom sighed. "Just tell me."
"We didn't want to rat Trixie out since we'd promised we'd keep her Great and Powerful secrets," Scootaloo said reluctantly. "So we tried to think of somepony else to say, and—"
"Let Trixie go you oaf!"
Apple Bloom's head whipped around to see Trixie being wrestled to the ground by an elderly earth pony in a butler's uniform. Despite his graying mane and the fact that he was clearly better than twice Trixie's age the old stallion was game. He had already gotten Trixie into a headlock and was rapping his hoof against her horn every few seconds to prevent her from using her magic. A terrified looking Diamond Tiara stood nearby.
"Whelp," Apple Bloom said. "This won't be good."'
†
"So Trixie, lemme get this straight," Applejack said dryly. "You got into a fight while you were in the park offering free candy to little school foals and inviting them to come see your 'amazing show'... And you have no idea why you're in a jail cell right now?"
Trixie tossed her mane back and lifted her nose disdainfully. "Obviously."
Applejack stared at her. "Seriously?"
Trixie shrugged. "It isn't as if this were the first time Trixie has been unjustly persecuted in this way."
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Yer just lucky Apple Bloom was there and she went to Twi and Twi went to me."
Trixie sniffed. "Luck had nothing to do with it. Trixie has always made her own luck."
Applejack looked back and forth around the jail cell before arching an eyebrow. "Ah believe you," she said deadpan. She turned to her companion. "Mayor, thank ya kindly for coming. Can ya let her out now?"
Mayor Mare nodded to the guard. "Of course, Applejack. This all clearly just a—"
"Hold it right there!" a voice cut in from behind them. Everypony turned to see an extremely angry-looking pony flanked by two ponies in suits.
"Filthy?" Applejack said, sounding surprised.
"Rich," Filthy Rich replied tersely. "No time for the usual pleasantries, Applejack."
He turned his attention to Mayor Mare. "Silver Scroll," he said more neutrally. "What's this I hear about letting the vagrant who assaulted my daughter go free?"
"Vagrant?!" Trixie shouted, outraged.
"Assaulted?" Applejack echoed, confused.
Mayor Mare returned his gaze levelly. "Yes, Mister Rich," she said. "Nopony was harmed and it seems the entire thing was a misunderstanding."
"Nopony was harmed?!" Filthy Rich shouted incredulously. "My darling Diamond Tiara was absolutely terrified!"
He nodded to one of the ponies in suits. The pony produced a sheaf of papers and passed them to the Mayor.
"Amnicus motion to hold the accused as a threat to public safety until an independent investigation can be conducted," the law pony explained.
Mayor Mare scanned the papers as he spoke. Applejack replied before she could finish.
"Threat to public safety?" she echoed in a disbelieving tone. "Listen Mister Rich, Trixie may be full of hot air and dumber than a barrel full of mud, but she didn't mean no harm. Yer man just jumped the gun when little Diamond Tiara started hooting and hollering her head off. No harm, no foul."
"Yeah!" Trixie joined in. "...Wait, what?"
Everypony ignored Trixie. Filthy Rich gave Applejack a contemptuous look.
"My little Diamond Tiara was traumatized! Maybe that's nothing to you but I for one intend to protect my family!"
Applejack bristled. "Now wait just an apple-picking minute! You saying Ah don't care about mah family's safety?!"
"I'm saying I will not ignore a threat to my precious daughter's well-being," Filthy Rich shot back. "If you want to let Apple Bloom play with a snake in the grass that's your business, but some of us take our responsibilities seriously."
Applejack took a step forward."Why you lowdown, money-grubbing, carpet bagging—" she began angrily.
"Applejack!" Mayor Mare snapped.
"But Mayor!" Applejack tried to argue.
"Not the time or the place, Applejack," Mayor Mare cut her off. Her voice was strained. Applejack could all but hear the unspoken 'trust me' behind the words. Applejack fell silent.
"Mister Rich," Mayor Mare said coolly. "Do you really want to do this?"
Filthy Rich hesitated for just a second before answering. "Absolutely. Given the tramp's past crimes I have more than enough grounds to demand judicial oversight."
Mayor Mare held his gaze. "Very well then."
She turned her attention to the pony who had passed her the papers. "Deliver the rest of the documentation to my staff."
The law pony nodded once. "Of course."
Mayor Mare turned her attention back to Filthy Rich. "Will that be all?"
Filthy Rich nodded to his other law pony. The law pony produced more papers.
"Motion for you to recuse yourself on the grounds of personal involvement in this case," he said blandly.
Mayor Mare didn't do much as twitch at that, but her voice turned arctic. "Understood."
Filthy Rich maintained eye contact for a few more seconds. "Very well then." He turned to his lawyers. "Sirs, we're leaving." With that Filthy Rich turned and left with his escort trailing a few steps behind.
As soon as they were gone Applejack said, "But Mayor!"
"I know AJ," Mayor Mare replied calmly. "But he is within his rights and he might well have a case."
"Oh come on," Applejack said, exasperated. "Anypony can see this is just more of Trixie being stupid and not seeing how she comes off ta everypony else."
"Trixie knows exactly how she comes off!" Trixie shouted in protest. "Trixie is the smartest and the best!"
Mayor Mare shrugged. "It doesn't matter, AJ," she said, sounding tired. "Filthy Rich's lawyers know their trade and they wouldn't move like this without a case. Your friend may well be liable."
Applejack snorted. "She ain't mah friend!"
"Yeah!" Trixie added helpfully.
Applejack rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored Trixie. "But that don't mean it ain't plain as day she didn't hurt nopony and it ain't right to punish somepony for being dumb."
"Hey!" Trixie shouted indignantly. Everypony continued to ignore her.
"I know," Mayor Mare said. She seemed to deflate as she spoke. "But I'm afraid it doesn't matter."
"Nothing doing," Applejack said angrily. "Ah'm gonna go talk to Twilight."
"Applejack, wait!" Mayor Mare said. The farm pony ignored her as she stormed out. Mayor Mayor stared as the door to Ponyville's tiny jail swung shut behind her before turning to look at Trixie.
"So do you have any idea what you've started?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Trixie has no idea what little hay seeds think," Trixie said. She sounded genuinely confused.
"That's what I thought," Mayor Mare said glumly.