Kate was still reeling from the effects of Christmas vacation with Maxine Caulfield. Still high from the euphoria and she didn't plan on coming down any time soon. And she thought that if there was a drug that could make her feel this way, then maybe drugs weren't so bad.

Ok...not really.

But when she was with Max, it just made Her feel so full. There was nothing like watching the light and life that left a person begin to seep its way back in. And no, maybe it wasn't like drugs, but Kate didn't really care and decided she would use whatever descriptive license she wanted.

Their week and a half in Minnesota had been full of laughter and joy and countless late night talks and stories of childhood and all the things that come with really learning a person. Kate had paid attention to every story Max told with all the attentiveness and wonder of a child.

Because she wanted to know everything about Max. Every knee scrape and broken heart and dead pet and all the things that make a person a person. And if there was a word for that, then Kate didn't know.

Uh yeah, maybe it's-

So, Kate had also become pretty good at ignoring that little voice inside her. Not that it was a bad voice it was just- she always thought about things. A lot. Too much. And with Max, she didn't want to think. Or rather, overthink. Max was a bit like a roller coaster to Kate, and she kept her eyes shut, pretending she wasn't afraid of heights while it slowly clicked upwards.

That's all you had to do right? Pretend it wasn't there long enough until the drop and then boom -weightlessness

Uh..Pretend what isn't there?

Max learned things as well on their trip. Probably more than Kate had intended. Because-yeah, she told her stories of the days of tangled hair and Sunday school fights and getting caught with her hand literally in the cookie jar. And they were good and helpful and important. But then her sisters came along with stories that maybe Kate thought were definitely not necessary. And then her dad. And then mom (she really didn't appreciate those stories).

Kate had tried keeping track of how many times her face turned bright red that week, but stopped counting at 32. And decided instead to make casual remarks of dehydration, nodding to herself that of course that was the reason.

Those stories weren't even the worst of it. The worst came halfway through the week when she woke up to the smell of breakfast and came down to Max humming in the kitchen. She was in pajamas and had bedraggled hair and somehow she made that look effortlessly cute. The brunette looked up, flashed a smile and said

'morning Katie'

Katie.

..Katie? Kate Marsh was not Katie.

She had made sure of it when she moved to Washington. Stopped her parents from signing it on letters, wore headphones during Skype sessions, and would protest it the second anyone from school got any funny ideas. As much as Kate could protest something, which involved politely requesting. But she had to, she was Kate and an adult and not some-some child named Katie.

Until Max said it.

Blue eyes holding a playfully mischievous look, and a smile noting the girl was way too proud of herself. She had the nerve to say Katie, and-

And it melted Katie.

Kate!- It melted Kate.

A nervous hand reached up to her collarbone and a smile broke through and she was certain her cheeks were the brightest color of red. Sisters giggled off somewhere Kate couldn't see and Max chuckled to herself and-

Ooh the nerve of that girl.

'uhm..I'm sorry-your sisters said it would be funny'

'no, max, it's totally ok'

'But you're bright red. Do you hate it that much?'

'I'm just dehydrated and-'

Max made a point of rolling her eyes, and Kate continued

'I don't hate it, it's just-it's'

'what?'

'embarrassing'

'embarrassing?'

'yeah. Katie is-well it's a name for a little girl. And I-The whole point of coming to Blackwell was to be a new person and..I'm not Katie'

'oh...well I thought it was kind of cute'

And seriously? If it was possible, Kate turned an even deeper color of red and Max thankfully pretended not to notice that her face now looked like it had been pulled straight from a Saturday-morning cartoon. She only pressed a freshly poured cup of tea into the Kate's hand and beamed another quick smile

'Come on Rapunzel, we got stuff to do today'

'Oh come on Max, Rapunzel?'

'Nicknames are kinda my thing'

'But Rapunzel?'

'The hair'

'It's not that long! And it's in a bun!'

'Call me skeptical. How bout you let it down and we can see'

Kate paused

'Rapunzel! Rapunzel, let down your-'

'Katie is fine'

And a far too pleased Max locked arms with Kate and ushered her out of the room.

'Then onward Katie. There's adventures to be had and-oh! Waffles are ready!'

And yeah, it was that. That was their vacation. A scrapbook of countless little moments like those and Kate learned that Max was really good at making little moments special. She was good at making a lot of things special.

Of course, not all were happy moments. Max was still..well, recovering. She would be bright and sunny one moment, cold and despondent the next. But they learned to deal with it and Kate enjoyed Max on even the darker moments. And no matter what, she always thought of the bright ones.

So if there was a slight spring in her step throughout the first few weeks of being back at school, maybe she had a good reason. And if people noticed, maybe she didn't care.

Because they did notice. Who wouldn't?

Max and Katie-Kate did everything together. As much as they could at least. All of their free time was spent with each other. Tea dates and music dates and food dates and

And it sounds like a lot of dates-

Kate specifically loved long walks in Arcadia Bay. Along the coast and in the pine forests and it was the best thing to do on a lazy Sunday. Long walks let their minds wander, and after a time Max would inevitably find something to take a picture of. Kate loved that. Anything to get the girl lost in a bit of her passion.

Plus long walks are kind of-

Max's favorite thing was watching cheesy romantic movies with Kate. Which, for Kate, was a great source of humor. Max never seemed like she would be the type to enjoy those movies, and she admittedly wasn't. She only started to watch one after Kate had begged and pleaded with her for days (because what's not to love about cheesy and romantic?)

By the end of the movie, Max was angrily prodding Kate because she had fallen asleep and missed the final scene. Kate teasingly mentioned something about noticing a tear in the girls eye and Max said no. Said if anything, it was a tear out of boredom. Kate just knowingly smiled and said Max wasn't very good at lying, after which she was promptly met with a pillow to the face. She decided not to mention it again.

The next night they watched another. When Kate questioned her, Max had said it was cathartic. The movies were simple and heartfelt, and if there was any sadness, by the end of 90 minutes everything was wrapped up in a simple and happy bow. And Max admitted maybe she kind of needed simple and happy. When Kate asked 'what about the bow?' Max just kind of stared at her in a way that made her feel dizzy and like her body would cave in on itself.

So this was how they spent their winter, January seemed to move past them at light speed. Movies and long walks and late nights and tea dates every week. They even studied for classes and did homework together.

Well, 'study' was probably a term to be used lightly. Kate studied. Probably enough for the both of them. Max would start to study and quickly lose interest and doodle or begin talking about anything while Kate worked. Kate never minded, that was what she wanted Max here for anyways. A comforting presence that motivated Katie to-

Motivated Kate to finish work quickly so she could look at Max instead of all these numbers and letters on a page.

Look?

Talk. Talk to Max. Whatever. The point was that they studied together. And if Max didn't do homework now, it was more due to procrastination than grief. Like an 80/20 split.

Probably the craziest thing to note of their time together was social interactions. Max finally had them. Like, legitimately. No zombie-Max. Living-Max social time.

It had started with a small dinner at a simple restaurant in town (not the two whales...not yet) with Stella and Alyssa in attendance. And then a fire on the beach. Complete with marshmallow roasting and instrument playing. Kate hadn't seen Max sneak her violin on the trip and she wanted to chide the girl for practically coercing her to play but, well at the same time it maybe made her feel wanted.

Of course, just because there was no zombie-max did not mean there was a lack of totally awkward and severely regrettable social interactions.

The drive-in movie with Warren and Brooke had been a terrible idea. Awful. And Max would never let her live it down. She should have said no, but- well Kate had just been a bit blinded by the thought of a drive in movie with Max. What could possibly be bad about that?

A lot, she found out. Maybe not a lot, maybe if it had just been her and Max. But the level of awkwardness that day made it feel like a lot. Because the whole thing was basically just a 60 mile excuse for Brooke and Warren to make out, so why had they invited Kate and Max? And if that wasn't bad enough, any time she wasn't engaged in a fierce sucker-fish battle with Warren, Brooke threw some serious shade at Max. And Kate. But especially Max.

The two girls had decided that they were better off outside the car, and spent the rest of the movie huddled together in the cold, watching silent images play across the screen. Or Max did. Kate watched silent light dance along Max's face. She actually loved this part. In the absence of sound, Max filled in for the actors, providing her own dialogue and accents and it was nerdy in the best of ways.

And in the absence of heat they had to resort to nearly cuddling to keep each other warm. At one point Max noticed Kate's hands were red and shaking slightly and decided to hold them in her own trembling hands, completely ignoring the movie and staring at Kate with a concerned look and-Kate didn't know what to think. Couldn't know what to think other than that the rest of the world seemed to melt away from her vision then, save for Maxine Caulfield. And if she could choose a moment in which to spend eternity, it was that one.

So, maybe the drive-in hadn't actually been terrible for the two. As a social outing for Max, it was still technically bad. But any time Max harassed Kate over that trip, she would stare at her feet and smile, right hand reaching up to tough her collarbone. Because that moment would always be worth any level of awkwardness to Katie.

Kate.

Max was an expert at making bunches and bunches of little moments special, and before Kate even realized it, it was February. And she was full to the brim with memories of them and feelings of happiness.

So why? Why now did her heart fall into her stomach as she stood with Max in her dorm room, flyer in hand.

'Hey what's that?'

'oh..uh..some flyer they were handing out on my way here' she said as nonchalantly as she could manage. Which, maybe wasn't a whole lot.

'what's it for?'

'I think some kind of party' she muttered like she didn't know. Like she hadn't been reading it over and over in her own room for the past 30 minutes. Like she hadn't been thinking way too hard about showing it to Max or not.

'A party? Wait-a school party? Does that mean?' She plucked the flyer from Max's hands

'oh my- are you fucking cereal? I thought the vortex club got shut down'

'yeah' Kate reached a hand to the back of her neck 'I guess it got new funding'

'Great, so a few months after all the-the fucked up stuff that happened and the administration is now totally for parent-funded drinking on campus again? Like what could possibly go wrong this time?'

'Well, I mean it's better on campus than off right? At least people can watch out for you-'

'Katie...you- you don't actually want to go to this do you?'

Kate felt like a child now. Staring down at her feet like she could burn holes through them

'well..'

'well what?'

'I mean-'

'Oh Dog please tell me you don't want to go to this..'

'I mean...it is Valentine's Day' she gulped

'Kate-' not Katie? 'the last time you were at one of these, you got drugged-'

that stung

'I know'

'And they posted videos of you onli-'

'I know'

'and Jefferson took you to the-'

'I KNOW!' And its out of her mouth like an explosion. Her face shot up to meet Max's own glare and she attempted, failed, to fight back the tears as her voice poured out of her almost quicker than she could think

'I know I got drugged and they took the videos and-and the pictures... I know. Trust me. And I get-I get that I should definitely not want to go to this party but..Jefferson is gone and Nathan's gone and I-' she was trembling npw

'I just thought that-uhm'

'thought what'

'maybe it would be fun if-if we...well' she shook her head

'never mind, it was-it was a dumb idea and-'

'Kate..'

'I-I think I'm gonna go'

'Katie don't..'

She turned around and tried to block out the rest of Max's voice. Briskly walking to her own room and shutting the door and burying her face in her pillow to let out a frustrated scream.

She was stupid and her idea was stupid and everything was stupid. And her thoughts continued on that path for a while until sleep finally came.

Kate woke up some time later to near darkness in her room. The evening had advanced far quicker than she had expected it to, and a quick glance of her phone noted the time, 8pm. She also saw that there were twenty missed text messages from Maxine Caulfield. These she did not check. She was sure they were warnings not to go to the party. Sure that Max was disappointed with her for even considering a vortex club party.

It was ridiculous. Of course it was. The last party she had attended well...everyone knew how that went. Kate especially. But who was to say that this party would end up that way.

And that wasn't the point. Kate didn't care if it was a Vortex club party or any other type of party. It could have even been like, a senior party. Like old people seniors. Maybe she just wanted to take Max to a party. To a Valentine's party. Because Max for sure didn't care about that sappy stuff, but maybe Kate did.

Goodness she felt stupid. Of course Max wouldn't want to go to a Vortex party, to a Valentine's party with Kate. She was surprised she had believed the girl might want to. Max was...amazing and special and talented and beautiful and Kate was...Kate.

The self righteous girl who was too nice for anyone to believe and they were probably right. Maybe she was not nearly as good as she pretended to be, and she was certainly not nearly as special as Max made her feel. And in that moment, she decided to pull her desk back to reach for the bottle of wine she had stashed away what seemed like forever ago. Because if there was anything Kate was good at, it was making sound decisions while depressed...

She poured herself a glass. Took a drink. Almost grimaced from the bitterness, but it quickly turned to a smile from the sensation of warmth in her belly and she decided if she was as bad a person as she felt right now, she should just go to the party on her own. The flyer had said something about the lonely hearts party, and Kate certainly felt like a lonely heart.

By the time she was finished with her second glass of wine, it was just about set in stone. She was going. Without Max because Kate was too stupid and who cared right now, she just needed to get out of the room.

The Vortex Club party was like any typical vortex party before it, though Kate only knew one. And that she barely remembered, but she knew enough. They always gave off an atmosphere of...something more than a high school party should be. Not that she would know, but she had to assume high school parties didn't have hired DJ's, or professional lighting, or readily available alcohol. At least not when they were held on the school's grounds. The students had thought that with the arrest of Nathan Prescott, they would never see the old days of grandiose vortex parties. But their great savior Queen Victoria stepped in. Or, her parents did. It was their money, and this party looked every bit the real deal.

Loud House music and flashing lights and smoke and bodies everywhere. People dancing and puking and passing out and making out and Kate would have thought that, yeah. Maybe this would have been a terrible place to take Max to. Would have thought several things, if not for her brain feeling so fuzzy and the music feeling so...enticing. Now she only thought that she felt like dancing.

Before long she was interrupted by bumping into someone behind her, and turned to see Victoria Chase's rather confused face.

'K-Kate? What in the world are you doing here?'

Kate only smiled and wrapped her arms around the girl. Somewhere in the back of her mind a voice questioned the action, but it was subdued beneath layers of fuzziness.

'Victoria! So good to see you! And I'm dancing, what else would I be doing?'

'I-I'm just surprised to see you here. And without Max attached to your hip and-uhm...Kate are you'

'ooooh she's not here' Kate giggled 'she uhm- hates..vortex clubs parties'

Victoria's eyes narrowed

'...Kate. You're drunk'

'mmmm no I'm not'

'...how much have you had to drink?'

'Nothing..'

'Kate'

'just a glass of wine'

'...kate'

'two glasses'

'Kate'

'uhm, and maybe someone gave me a shot here...or two...I can't remember. I didn't like it, it burned my throat' she giggled again and nearly lost her balance, Victoria had to grab her shoulders to keep her steady.

'Ok Kate I think it's time we get you out of here'

'but I wanna stay'

'That is definitely out of the question' and Victoria put an arm around the girl and started to walk her out of the building. Kate would have protested, or at least considered it. But her brain was sluggish and her eyes were heavy and it felt kind of easy to be lead around. Even if it was by the queen bitch herself.

Their walk back was quiet, and Victoria never took her arm from Kate's shoulders. And Kate would question that but right now she didn't really question anything. Just enjoyed the company and the warmth she felt and loved- loved the sudden feeling of being let down on her bed. She didn't know how her room had been opened but it didn't matter, her bed was soft and comfortable and she felt like waves were crashing softly on her, pushing her deeper and deeper into the mattress.

'Seriously Kate, you need to stay away from the liquor' Victoria muttered as she pat the girl's head.

'But I definitely can't sit here and take care of you, so I gotta' go find someone'

Kate didn't move as the girl left the room. She wasn't sure if she could anyways, the bed was seriously be the pinnacle of human luxury. And she didn't remember it feeling like this before, maybe it had been switched out or something.

'...so I obviously wouldn't do this for anyone else, but I felt like I maybe...owed her after what happened last time'

'you mean after you took the video. And posted it online?'

'Whatever Caulfield, I was just trying to help Kate, so you can go fuck yourself'

Kate heard a door slam and angry feet shuffle down the hallways. And then she giggled because 'angry feet' sounded really funny. How could feet be angry?

'...Katie?'

'Max!' Her reply came and she tried to get off the bed to meet the girl, only to be held down by a hand and Max either had some incredible reserve of strength, or Kate was a little bit more tipsy than she thought because she was held firmly on the mattress.

'I take it you went to the party'

'...maybe'

Max sat down on the bed and cradled Kate's head in her lap, staring down at the blonde with that look of concern Kate had come to love.

'and you drank?'

A pause

'...maybe'

'Katie..'

'ok...yes'

'why?'

Kate sighed 'I-I uhm..was upset'

'with me?'

'yeah'

'because I didn't want to go to the vortex party?'

'because you didn't want to go to the vortex party with me'

'Kate, you know I hate parties and...and being around people is still tough and-'

'I-I know its just. I thought that-well..its uhm. It was a Valentine's party'

'..yeah'

'yeah and well...I thought that..maybe-maybe it would be fun if we went together. And you could-or we could'

'wait..what? Are you saying?-'

'I know it's dumb but-'

'You wanted me to be your Valentine's..date...or whatever?'

And Kate felt stupid. More stupid maybe than she has ever felt because she was a child. It's a dumb holiday and it's ridiculous and only a kid would get upset about it. And maybe she is Katie.

And then Max laughed. Actually laughed. Out loud. And Kate buried her now scarlet-face in her hands.

'Kate, you should have talked to me. Or asked me or-or said anything' she took Kate's hand in her own 'we are friends Katie. I'll be your Valentine's-I'll be whatever you want me to be'

Wait- friends? Friends. Kate sat up and met the girls gaze.

'That's it Max. I don't-I don't think I want to be friends'

'what?'

'I think. I think that-uhm. I..uh'

'Kate, what are you saying'

'I think that I love you'

'...what'

'I-I love you Max'

'You're-you'tr drunk Kate'

'I love you'

And Max just stared at Kate speechless. Which made Kate feel uncomfortable and nervous and she had to do anything. Anything to break the silence. So she put a hand behind Max's neck and pulled the girl in closer and kissed her. And oh.

There it is. The weightlessness. The drop of the roller coaster, the loss of gravity. Kate closed her eyes.

The blonde changed her mind. Instantly. If there was a moment she wanted to live in forever, it was this one. Because Max was soft and her lips were warm and she let out the quietest moan as Kate kissed her and Kate thought that this must be what heaven tasted like. And she couldn't hear whatever her conscience had to say over the the sound of her own blood pumping but she thought maybe it would agree.

And maybe the kiss lasted a few seconds or maybe it lasted an eternity, Kate couldn't tell. All she knew was that when Max finally pulled away, it hadn't nearly been long enough.

She had a look of surprise and was breathing heavily and her cheeks were hot red and Kate had to imagine her own face looked much the same.

'K-Kate uhm'

'You don't know how long I've wanted to do that Max'

'Kate I- I think you drank a little too much'

'what? No I-'

'I-uhm...I should go'

'Max don't-'

'We-uh, we'll talk in the morning' and Max disappeared out of Kate's door. And that was not at all how Kate had imagined it because, let's be honest, she had been imagining it since long before now.

She collapsed on the bed and hugged knees to her chest because now she felt more foolish than she ever had. She had been silly enough to do that and silly enough to think Max would return her affection and seriously?

Kind of terrible timing Kate..you do remember all the crap she's dealing with, yeah?

And Kate felt stupid and silly and childish and- and anything. Felt a mix of mostly terrible things. But she did not-could not regret the kiss. And if Max never wanted to speak to her again it would still almost be worth it. Maybe.

Max's heart was racing. And her hands were trembling and head spinning and maybe her nose was bleeding a bit, so she sat on her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. And she absentmindedly wondered if being tipsy was something you could catch from someone, like a cold. Or the flu. Because she certainly felt drunk. Or high. If this was what drugs felt like, maybe they weren't all so bad.

Because Kate had- she said that- and then she...

It was too much for Max to process. Her heart felt like it was simultaneously soaring in the clouds and burying itself in her stomach at the same time.

Because Kate loved her. Katie loved her. Maybe. And kissed her and maybe she had wanted to, but Max couldn't be sure. Couldn't be sure if the kiss and the confession had come more from Kate or the alcohol. And it wasn't fair to take advantage of that.

And now she kind of felt bad for rewinding three times. But it was too late to do anything about it. She knew this because she tried rewinding a fourth time after she came into her room. Because Kate had kissed her and that was worth experiencing more than once. And Kate loved her.

Maybe.

And what about Chloe? You know, the love of your life. Who you were devastated over like..a second ago? So quick to forget her huh?

No! She didn't forget Chloe. It was just...Kate was just.

Sure.

Unbidden tears fell from Max's eyes as she laid her head on a pillow. She didn't know much, but she was pretty certain things just got a bit more complicated for her. And she felt awful, like she was abandoning Chloe all over again. And she still felt warm from the kiss.

Because no matter how much her heart sank, she couldn't make herself regret the kiss.