okay so I got it out in one week. Pretty inpressive for me actually. I mean besides this summer where I popped a chapter out every week and sometimes multiple times a week, I don't tend to do that. Anyway, enjoy and tell me if I managed to keep everyone in character.

"I'm telling you Spock, the admiralty is trying to piss me off. Do you realize how little information they tend to give us about these missions? I mean they tell us to go check out a mining colony and we find out there is an ancient sentient silicon based being that oozes acid. Do you know how many shirts I have to replace each month because we never know what we're dealing with?" Kirk stabbed at his mashed potatoes with his fork, barely looking up at Spock or McCoy. He had been up all night talking his way out of how he didn't directly violate the prime directive, and at the end received vague details of their next mission. It pretty much went, there was something wrong with the planet, go find out what it is and try to fix it.

"Captain, I am certain that if Starfleet had more information, they would inform us. Not doing so is unproductive, essentially dangerous, and illogical."

"Ignore him Spock; he's just cranky from not sleeping." McCoy sent Jim a smirk. "Tell me Jim, when's the last time you slept."

The captain grumbled, turning his aggression onto his chicken. "3 hours before we went down to the planet."

Bones smirk quickly turned into a frown. "Jesus Jim, that was over 50 hours ago."

"52.37 hours to be exact."

Bones sent Spock a glare. "Jim, you need to get some sleep."

"I will after my shift, Bones. It's only another 4 hours."

Bones raised a skeptical eyebrow. "At least eat your lunch. You missed breakfast again."

"Yes mom." Jim rolled his eyes and finally took his first bite of his meal.

Spock rose from his seat, having already finished his salad and plomeek soup. "If you will excuse me Captain, Doctor, I have a few experiments to oversee before I must return to the bridge."

Kirk watched the back of his friend from the table unconsciously stabbing his food again.

"Jim, those potatoes are already mashed and have done you no harm."

"Sorry." He forced himself to let go of his fork. "But you see what I mean right? He said 'a few' not a specific number."

"Yeah, I'm starting to see." Bones reached over, stealing a carrot from Jim's plate, not that the captain minded when his vegetables disappeared. "Seems to me like he's making a good old fashioned human excuse to me."

A quiet sigh escaped him. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing."

"Don't let it get to you Jim."

He glanced up at his friend, a tired smile pulling at his lips. "I won't. "

Jim finished his meal quickly, forcing it down even though he wasn't hungry. Satisfied that his friend was finally eating, Bones left as well, returning to his sickbay.

The captain remained, observing the lively atmosphere created by his crew: the laughing, the talking, and the occasional drama. Since becoming captain of the Enterprise, it had always been him, Bones, and Spock. Bones was always nagging him and calling him crazy for one reason or another, but Jim had grown used to it since they had roomed together at the academy. Having Bones as his CMO was like having a bit of home with him. Spock on the other hand wasn't so easy to get along with at first, and it was difficult being around him so often while adjusting to their new roles as captain and first officer. Spock would question him on everything as he was a stickler for regulations and often disagreed with him for one reason or another, but there had always been some sort of understanding between them after the Narada. No matter how bad their fights got, no matter what might have been said at the time, they would put it behind them after they both settled down without apologies. Soon enough they were enjoying each other's company off duty during meals and playing chess three times a week.

Both men ended up having important roles in his life as a captain. Bones was his voice of passion, the one who always wanted to do the right thing, save as many lives as possible, hurt no one, and tell him whenever his head was up his ass. Spock was his voice of reason, the one who would quote him regulations and tell him the consequences of their actions, and keep him acting somewhat like a proper captain. The two of them balanced him out, allowing his decisions to find ground somewhere in the middle.

While McCoy was a great friend and a better drinking buddy, Spock was different—Jim wouldn't be able to tell anyone why, but it was true. He was a friend, a good one at that. He was witty and sarcastic, smart and . . . kind. Very kind. It was a shame that no one seemed to try to see past the Vulcan exterior.

Now that Spock was distancing himself, it seemed like something was missing. Spock was the only one he could match wits against, both in chess and conversation, the only one who he could talk about all aspects of work to, and recently, Spock had been teaching him Vulcan. Being with Spock was relaxing yet stimulating and peaceful. Perhaps McCoy should worry about his title of best friend being stolen. Jim chuckled to himself at that. It wouldn't matter much if Spock continued to keep to himself. He would have to change that.

Deciding on what to do, Jim got up and deposited his tray. He would have to corner Spock, and he knew just how to do it.

The moment Spock's relief came onto the bridge, the captain was out of his chair and charging towards the turbolift before Spock could escape him. He just managed to squeeze through as the doors closed. Spock merely looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Thought you could escape me Mr. Spock?" He grinned, proud that he managed to catch the Vulcan before he could hide out in one of the labs for the rest of the night.

"Not at all Captain as I was not trying to 'escape' from you." The calm tone in his voice was enough to grate on Kirk's nerves. Reaching past his first officer, he pushed the emergency stop, jamming it hard with his thumb, his eyes glued to Spock's. "Captain?"

"Why are you avoiding me Spock?" The intensity in his blue eyes dared Spock to contradict him.

"Captain, this is the only turbo lift from the bridge, and I am certain that the other crew members would like to utilize it very soon." Spock leaned forward to release the emergency stop, but Jim side stepped to make it inaccessible to the Vulcan. It also brought Jim into his friend's personal space as a result. Exasperation flittered across Spock's brown eyes, his body very rigid. "Captain."

"It's Jim, Spock. Duty ended five minutes ago, and you know it. What the hell is going on with you? We've been getting along great for several months now, we only fight about regulations every other day now instead of every other minute, and if anyone asked, I would say you were one of my closest friends." The hardness in his gaze softened. "So why does it seem like you can barely stay in the same room as me these days."

Spock took a step back, getting as much distance between his captain and himself as the limited space in the turbolift would allow. His face betrayed no emotion except the fact that he stared straight ahead and spared no glance at Jim. "I cannot say I reciprocate the sentiment Captain."

A frown tugged at the corners of his lips. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Until I am able to meditate and better control my shields, I cannot allow myself to interact with you as I have in the past." If he had been anyone else, Jim would not have notice the hesitation in his words, but it still stung to hear them spoken aloud.

"Why not?"

Spock's eyes glanced at him for a split second and for a moment, it seemed like he wanted to fidget until his Vulcan controls suppressed the urge. "My meditations have been inadequate as of late as you are well aware. It is best to avoid situations that strain my controls and invoke emotional responses from me."

"You're avoiding me . . . because I invoke emotional responses in you."

Spock gave him curt nod, not adding anything else.

Disbelief was the first thing Kirk felt run through him, then anger. His fist clenched at his side, shaking. Closing his eyes, he let out a breath before turning his gaze back up to the Vulcan. "That's not necessarily a bad thing Spock. I know Vulcans are all about restraint on their emotions, but your part human too. Maybe letting a little emotion through when you're with a friend is just what you need to help get your mind centered."

"That will be impossible Jim for I don't think of you as a friend."

Jim could only stare, emotions racing across his face in an instant; hurt being the most obvious one. When he opened his mouth, the turbolift jerked to life, starting it's decent. An engineer must have overrided the emergency stop. Jim stepped away from the control panel and took his spot at Spock's side, keeping his eyes forward. In a carefully controlled tone that would make a Vulcan proud, Jim spoke. "Alright Mr. Spock. If that's what you want, I'll keep things strictly professional between us. I don't want to cause my First Officer any additional discomfort."

"Jim. . . I—" But it was too late. The doors to the lift opened, and Jim walked out with a quick and crisp, "Commander."

Jim marched straight into sickbay, heading right for the liquor cabinet hidden behind McCoy's desk not sparing a look at his best friend. He must have looked pissed off because everyone seemed to hurry out of his way and the medbay cleared out the moment he walked in for the exception of one engineer who McCoy was looking over. Judging by the nervous glances the ensign was giving him, he was ready to bolt as well.

With a slight scowl, covering Bones' concern, he gave the young man a pat on the back, allowing him to leave. "Jim, mind telling me why you are scaring off all my patients?" Jim had taken the desk chair, so McCoy pulled up another, sitting opposite of him. His question wasn't answered however, causing the scowl to disappear and more concern to shine through.

Jim continued to sit tight lipped, pouring himself a large glass of the very illegal Romulan ale. Seeing that he was not ready to talk, the doctor busied himself with cleaning up his desk, organizing the PADDs, hypos, and samples crowding the surface. He knew that when Jim was like this, there was no use trying to pry it out of him. He would talk when he was ready. He had found that out the hard way in the past and never planned to repeat that mistake.

Kirk watched him move about as he sipped his ale, not muttering a word, and Bones let him. Once he finished tidying up, he got to work on his reports. Bones had forgotten that Jim was still in the room when he finally spoke, completely engrossed in his reports. "I confronted him. In the turbolift. He told me that he was avoiding me because I cause him to feel emotion and that he doesn't think of me as a friend."

"Jim he's Vulcan. He's supposed to say those things."

"You weren't there Bones. He tried to keep as much space between us as possible. Barely looked me in the eye the entire time. It was like if he touched me everything would fall apart," he replied angrily, staring at the blue liquid. His knuckles were white from grasping the glass so hard that McCoy could hear the glass strain against the pressure.

Diligently, McCoy wrestled the cup away from his tight grip, before the glass could break. "So what if he's not your friend Jim. You didn't care when you first got on board the Enterprise."

The psychology degree was coming out, Jim could already tell even in his intoxicated state. It was one of the things he loved about Bones. While Jim could dodge any question a psychologist threw at him, he couldn't help but confide in Bones as friend, and he trusted the doctor to keep it between them without him blabbing to Starfleet about every little issue. He couldn't say that about the actual ship psychologist. "I don't know. It's just that . . .," he paused, thinking about what he really wanted to say. "Is it so bad to have emotion? You and I know that Spock feels even if he suppresses them. We can't see it, but we know it's there, but he insists that he doesn't have them, that he's not supposed to have them. Cold logic isn't the way to go either. They think that emotions can cause savagery? What about cold unrelenting logic?! It can be even worse!" His voice gradually grew louder until he was standing, trying to convey his point almost desperate to do so.

Bones just sat calmly, staring at Jim with understanding eyes. "You're not talking about Spock anymore, are you?"

Guilt at being caught crossed his features. Slowly, he sat down, nodding grimly. "No . . . I'm not."

"Jim," McCoy leaned forward, taking the bottle of liquor when Jim kept eyeing it. "That happened a long time ago."

"I know. I know." Jim ran his fingers through his hair, still glancing at the confiscated bottle. "I'm just tired. Some sleep, and I'll be good as new." He rose from the desk, his eyes cast down to the floor.

"Jim, you haven't been having those nightmares recently right? If you are—"

"I'm fine, Bones. Honest. I haven't had those dreams since that class. I'm good." He did his best to smile. "I think I'll head to bed now. We'll be at our destination in a couple days, and I have sleep to catch up on."

"Alright Jim. If you need to talk, I'm here. Now get some sleep, doctor's orders," McCoy said in his heavy southern accent, giving his friend a smirk.

Jim moved around the desk, making his exit, but at the door he paused and said, "Thanks Bones. For listening."

"No problem, Jim."

Kirk stood front and center of briefing room A. His eyes gazed over each senior officer in the room. There were only 2 hours away from the planet, and it was time to decide how they were going to handle the situation on Brekka V. However, the meeting couldn't start until Spock arrived. It was unusual for him not to be 10 minutes early for meeting like this, but for him to be the last to arrive was downright unheard off.

"I apologize for being late Captain." All eyes turned to Spock as he entered.

"Not at all Commander. You had a minute to spare." The captain didn't meet his first officer's eyes, keeping them looking straight ahead. Spock took his place beside Kirk though with slightly more room between them than usual.

The crew had noticed the giant shift in their relationship. Instead of eating in the mess with Spock, Jim took his meals in his room or Doctor McCoy's office, conversation between the two was kept completely duty related, and all interaction between the two officers outside of the bridge stopped completely. Even their normal arguments on the bridge had stopped, like they couldn't bother to acknowledge each other's existence.

Leonard McCoy knew better though. He was the first to admit that he didn't like Spock the moment he laid eyes on him. His constant talk of logic and the occasional slight against humans irritated him to no end. However, constant life and death missions with the Vulcan changed his view slowly but surely. The insulting nicknames he had come up for Spock turned into friendly banter. Sure, he was often irritated with the hobgoblin. He was often irritated with a lot of people, but now he was also better at reading what Spock tried not to show. That's why he was the only one to notice that Spock absolutely did not like this current development.

Over the past two days, McCoy had watched the two idiots. While Jim was avoiding Spock like the plague, he would miss the moments Spock tried to reach out. Four separate times, Spock tried to gain his captain's attention. Each time Jim was out the door before he had a chance to continue. With the additional glances in Jim's direction, it didn't take long for him to figure out that the distance was really bothering him.

Normally, he would stay out of their arguments, but this one had been worse than their usual squabbles. Which was why he had confronted Spock just before this meeting.

"I am here as you requested Doctor. You said this was urgent." Spock walked into McCoy's quarters, his appearance as immaculate as always, and his expression carefully hidden away behind his mask.

"Sit down Spock." The elder man gestured to a seat at his desk.

Dark eyes briefly stared at the piece of furniture. "The mission debriefing will begin in 30 minutes. I do not have time for—"

"Shut up you stupid hobgoblin and sit down."

Spock raised an eyebrow but never the less complied with the request.

"Now you listen here. I normally don't go and get myself involved in you two's arguments, but when it starts affecting the crew's moral and affecting the teamwork of the command team, I got to interfere."

"Our teamwork has not been affected, and I do not believe that your involvement is—"

"Don't give me that you green-blooded computer. No matter the problem, you two have never acted like this." Spock opened his mouth to say something, but McCoy sent him a death glare, daring him to interrupt him. "What the hell were you thinking, telling Jim that you didn't think of him as a friend?"

"I was merely telling the truth. I do not see the captain as a friend."

"Then how do you see him? You two have been inseparable since the Narada incident, so you have to feel something for him."

Spock became unnaturally still even for a Vulcan and his eyes looked just to the right avoiding the doctor's gaze. "I do not believe that is your concern Doctor McCoy." His voice was cold; Spock's way of telling him to drop the subject.

Then it dawned on him. The doctor's eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly. The over protectiveness Spock tended to exhibit towards Jim, the slips of emotion he showed towards him, the convenient interruption Spock seemed to always make whenever Jim was with a woman on a mission. No, Spock had not lied. He truly did not see Jim as a friend. "You—"

"If it is acceptable to you, Doctor, I would find it most amicable if you kept your new found discovery to yourself. I do not wish for him to know nor do I ever plan on act on it." Words seemed to elude McCoy even as Spock stood up. "If you excuse me, I wish to meditate before the debriefing." Spock walked out before McCoy could say anything.

The revelation on Spock's true feelings had stunned him so much, that it took a good five minutes to wrap around the information. Now, sitting at the conference table and watching the strained interaction between his commanding officers, he wondered if he should tell Jim the truth.

"Alright listen up. " Jim placed his hands on the table. "Mr. Spock, tell them what the planetary situation was before we lost contact."

Spock stepped forward, bringing up the report onto the screen. "Before contact was lost, the planet was undergoing diplomatic relations between the colonist and the native inhabitants. From reports, the natives are peace dwelling and live off the land. Formal diplomatic negotiations were in process to make the inhabitants a member of the Federation. From all reports that have been received, there have been no disagreements recorded nor have there been any confrontations between the two groups."

Jim nodded. "Due to the relative peace between the colonists and natives, we are not certain what to expect on the planet. Our current mission is to assess the situation and resolve it if we can on Brekka V. The only information we have of the current situation is that there is no communication channels open on the planet, that the planet's defensive field is still active, and that no one has come or gone from that planet in two months. Our only option is to send a landing party down onto the planet via shuttle to deactivate the field stopping transporter capabilities and try to get communications back up.

"We will need to be prepared for anything. The landing party will consist of myself, Doctor McCoy, Lieutenant Uhura, and 3 security officers." Jim turned his eyes to Giotto. "I'll leave the assignment of the officers up to you. I'll trust your judgment on who will be most suitable for the positions."

Spock stepped forward. "Captain, if I may interject, I would prefer to be in the landing party."

"That will not be necessary, Mr. Spock. As you often state, both of us in the landing party is not only illogic but against regulations." He would not meet Spock's eyes as he spoke. Doing so, he saw the surprise on the crew's faces at his comment. No one had ever quoted regulation back at Spock before because no one knew regulations better than him.

"Captain, I insist on being part of the landing party. Having an additional science officer in the landing party has proved to be quite beneficial in the past and has gotten us out of many improbable situations. Keeping me on the bridge will lower our chances of success by thirty-nine percent."

Everyone's eyes were on Captain Kirk, awaiting his decision. He knew he couldn't win. All impossible situations Jim had faced in the past were because Spock had been there. As angry as he was, he could not chance failure because he decided to leave him behind. "All right Mr. Spock, you have made your point. You will join the landing, party. Scotty, that leaves you in charge of my ship. Don't get a scratch on her."

"Aye, sir. Ye can count on me to keep her purring like a kitten." The Scott grinned like a madman and Jim couldn't help but grin back.

"Alright, you have your assignments, landing party I want you ready to depart in exactly 2 hours from now. Giotto, forward me your choices to my PADD, so I can approve them. Everyone, dismissed."

So yeah, I'm impatient. I proofread and waiting ony beta, but I wanted to get this out ASAP cause I really new to focus on my project for school. Can't do that until I post. Was going to make it longer, but I thought this was good right here. Hope you leave a comment. Tell me if you think someone is out of character. I will be posting finished product on ks archive and AO3.