So not a four months wait, but still quite some time. In my defense, I have been working on this chapter for 3 weeks. It was just slow going. On another note, I'm totally going to see Video Games Live in Richmond. If you've never seen it and you love video games and its music. BUY A DAMN TICKET! (I will also be signing autographs, and taking questions. Juts kidding. Maybe if I became an accomplished writer). Also I'm trying to save up to study abroad. Anyone have an idea how I might get money for that, let me know. (Please be aware that I do have a job and my GPA makes me cry).
"You need to stop doing that mind voodoo shit without his permission."
Spock stilled at the sudden voice in the darkness. Languidly, he withdrew his hand, resting it at his side. He peered at McCoy then casually stood up and returned to his spot where he was previously trying to meditate, keeping his eyes down the entire time.
"If you have something to say hobgoblin then say it." McCoy turned in his makeshift bed, propping his head up on one hand, facing Spock expectantly. He had his usual scowl, but sleep had softened it. When Spock didn't say anything, he considered letting it go. It was late and the previous day's journey had him aching everywhere not to mention the bone deep fatigue, but he knew if he didn't get it out of the Vulcan now, it was never going to come up. "Well? I don't have all night."
Spock kept his steady gaze on a boulder in front of him. It didn't seem like he was going to budge when Uhura spoke up from her small bed, "It's okay, Spock. We're here to help."
Spock glanced at his former girlfriend. She had sat up and was staring at him with a patience she hadn't quite shown to that extent during their courtship. If anything, the kind gaze had him looking away from her as he answered, "I do not know how else to help him." Those simple words had even McCoy dropping his scowl.
"I'm worried about him too," the doctor admitted in a low, almost inaudible voice. He turned his attention to Jim who still slept peacefully. If not for the meld, the captain would probably have woken to their voices already. Jim was a notoriously light sleeper, like if he didn't awaken to the slightest sound it would cost him his life. In hindsight, that was probably exactly why.
"I suggest, Doctor, that you rest while it is permissible. It is highly likely that tomorrow's activities will be as physically intensive as today.
McCoy's scowl retuned, and he grumbled under his breath about bossy Vulcans which Spock politely ignored, settling into preparation for meditation. Spock closed his eyes, attempting to breach the first layer of meditation when a soft slender hand touched his shoulder.
He took reassurance from the small gesture, one she did not make often in respect to his Vulcan heritage. But in this case, there were no words that could adequately reassure him.
Uhura sat next to him as he meditated, falling asleep against him at some part in the night. Spock didn't notice as he finally fell into a light sleep, thinking of Jim.
The captain woke to the sunlight streaming through the cave entrance. His eyes fluttered open, a soft smile on his lips until he started to recall where he was. The smile fell. It was peculiar. He was almost certain that he would have suffered some sort of nightmare. It was why he was never eager to sleep, despite his body feeling exhausted from their journey. He had mentally steeled himself for it too, planning to ignore the hurt and fear it brought until he could deal with it in a more convenient time.
Instead, he dreamt of his ship, his shenanigans on Earth, and of shore leaves, and for a moment, he had forgotten about the danger that awaited him when he woke, of the people he was responsible for. That was dangerous. He couldn't let that happen again.
Carefully, he untangled himself from Luca who was still sound asleep and gripping onto him for dear life. Jim expertly removed those hands without waking him, and made his way to the entrance of the cave.
These set of caves were located at the bottom of a dried river bed that now formed a canyon. The cave system was deep and complex running through the plateaus for miles. The reason Jim thought to bring everyone here and knew it would be relatively safe was because the natives used to live in these caves. Despite the breakdown of the colony, the colonist still felt guilt over what happened. Maybe not consciously, but they wouldn't go out of their way to see the dead bodies that had been rotting out in the sun to remind them of that.
Spock and Jim had gone on ahead the previous day to scout out the area. As Jim had suspected, nothing had been touched since the massacre. Getting to work, they moved the bodies out of the cave they now inhabited and cleared the way before their companions joined them. Despite Spock's quiet protest, they did not bury the bodies. Two hours before their small company joined up again, they burned half the bodies, using the cliffs to hide most of the smoke.
The other half, they spread around the perimeter. The corpses were half rotten; some even had small animals living in the rib cages. It was a health hazard to not bury or burn them, but the reminder was needed to be there to ward off intruders. They were placed far away enough not to fill the air of their dwelling with the putrid smell of death, though it did linger throughout the night.
McCoy did mention the lingering smell, asking what had died in his usual gruff voice. When Jim didn't answer with a sarcastic remark and saw the remains of the civilization that used to live there, the doctor put two and two together. He didn't make another remark about the smell again.
They had moved into a previous living unit, equipped with a hole in the rocky ceiling to ventilate smoke, a cloth door, animal skins covering the floor, and a few cave paintings drawn on the wall. The natives lived a simple life, similar to the ways of the Native Americans back on Earth, even though they had their own written language, government, and had even figured out space travel. They were knowledgeable about the universe, about other alien species, but chose to live off the land and stay on planet.
The natives were a kind race and were more than willing to share what they had with the colonists. Jim couldn't help the macabre thought that he bet the locals regretted that decision now. If there were any left that was.
Jim stepped through the cloth door, taking in the early morning light. Thankfully, they were upwind, so there was nothing but sweet, fresh, crisp air. It was a little chilly, but the sun's rays were quickly warming the rocks. Jim let a small smile grace his lips and stretched, letting his shirt rise. For now, he would enjoy this second. Just this second, then he'd return to reality.
"I take it you slept well, Captain."
Jim's smile stretched a little wider at the low, smooth voice behind him. "Best sleep I've gotten since we landed here. If I knew all this would have happened, I would have slept before we left." He turned to face Spock.
A strange look was on Spock's face, one he didn't recognize and his smile dropped and became one of worry. "Are you okay?"
"I am adequate, Jim," his voice sounded deeper. "I am gratified that you slept undisturbed."
He chuckled, turning his eyes away, back to the scenic view. "I'm just glad you look like you got some sleep. Was worried you were going to pass out on me."
Spock only raised an eyebrow, causing Jim to laugh even though he wasn't directly looking at him. "Seriously though, I'm glad. I was worried." He chuckled again. "Though not as worried as McCoy is. I think he draped a blanket over me last night. Talk about mother henning right?"
Another strange look crossed Spock's face. "What?"
"Nothing Jim. I am just contemplating our options."
"Right . . . of course." Jim cast his eyes down to his feet. "So what have you come up with?"
"We have two options, Captain. We can attempt to stay in this location, allowing a rescue team to have fewer difficulties in retrieving us, should they stage a rescue mission, or we can continue traveling. I do not have the experience you have in this situation, so I am unable to offer any valid advice at this moment."
The captain unconsciously chewed on his bottom lip as he thought. Staying here gave them shelter, a point to return to if they were ever separated, and most importantly, stability. However, the longer they stayed, the more traces they would leave, showing that there were people heading this way often back to the ravine anytime they left to scout for supplies, and there was no guarantee the guilt would keep the few survivors away for much longer. It had already been a couple weeks at the least. The more dire the circumstances became, there would be no such thing as guilt. Only survival. But continuous travel could wear them down. In the long run, it could save them. It was harder to be tracked, and it helped knowing just what was out there and if there was a better place to set up camp for a while. While this place was nice, too many people knew about it.
"We'll stay here for a few days. We'll see about the situation then." He finally said, letting a small irritated sound escape him as he exhaled. "We'll need to look for food though. Luca and I will do that once night hits. Until then, I guess we can search around and see what's available."
"Yes, Captain."
"Great," he replied half heartedly. "I'll get breakfast started."
Spock watched the human go back into their shelter. Perhaps he should not have grabbed the man's attention. When Spock had followed Jim outside, he had meant to ascertain his health. So he called out to him. That train of thought left as did any other thought when he turned around. The human's hair practically glowed under the early dawn light, his blue eyes that had been clouded, clear and bright, and for a moment, all the Vulcan could do was appreciate how aesthetically pleasing he was.
When Jim's smile turned into a frown, he snapped out of his trance. To see Jim almost back to normal erased most of the guilt he felt for intruding on his thoughts to influence his dreams. Jim's laugh and his easy going personality, Spock found he missed and craved it the past few days.
It didn't last. With Spock's vague reply, he implied the problem at hand, and Jim fell back into his shell, out of reach from Spock's grasp. Jim closed himself off from the world again, the worry setting back into his features as he thought about their next step.
Logically, Spock knew the topic could not be avoided. It was Jim's duty to worry and take charge of the situation. Added to the fact that Jim had the most experience about their current situation, it was logical to let Jim take the lead throughout the mission. And yet, he wanted to spare Jim the pain of reliving his worst nightmare again.
The scent of death was still in the air. Spock could smell it, and his telepathy picked up the ghosts that lingered. The hatred, the pain, the fear from both colonists and natives alike who died on the land they now took shelter in. Being a strong telepath was trying at times, and the miasma of misfortune that had befallen the land had proved difficult to ignore. He could only be grateful that he was only a touch telepath and nothing more. He was not certain if he would be able to keep his Vulcan principles if that were not the case.
Quietly, he ducked back into their shelter. Jim was already digging through the bags, deciding on how to ration their food, and what should be eaten immediately. He didn't glance up at Spock's entrance, though he was aware that the Vulcan had come back inside.
McCoy had awoken as well, rubbing his eyes with one hand as he yawned, looking around blurrily. Uhura was also awake, sitting next to Luca and talking amongst themselves quietly. Besides Jim, Luca was only semi comfortable with Uhura. Given Jim's words from before, Spock had an idea why the child would prefer Uhura's company to the doctor's and his. He could not however understand why anyone would harm a child, even with the current conditions.
"Hey, Jim!" Luca bounded over to the captain. "We going out today?"
Jim looked up, his troubled look easing at the sight of the boy. "Yeah," he said gently. "Just some recon."
"I know the nearby area. My parents used to come to talk to the guys who used to live here…" the child's words faltered, and his eyes glazed over at the memory of his parents.
"Would you like to come with me?" Jim asked as if he hadn't noticed. Spock watched Luca give Jim a shy smile then sit next to the man. Jim picked the child up, placing him on his lap. "Good. Know how to make a sailor's knot?" At the shake of Luca's head, Jim began showing him different types of knots, using a piece of rope he had found lying around.
Spock sat to the side watching them. Jim was so at ease with Luca. He wasn't loud and cocky like he generally liked to give off. With Luca, he was more reserved, calm, and patient. The same way Jim was during their chess games after a particularly difficult mission. The same way Jim had acted during their last chess game.
"If you keep looking like that, someone might mistake you for being jealous," McCoy said, sitting next to Spock. With Spock's silence, McCoy actually laughed softly, gaining the Vulcan's attention. The middle aged doctor looked tired, despite sleeping most of the night. Already, dark bags were forming underneath his eyes, and his usual gruff demeanor was lacking. "Still, never thought I'd see the kid, act like a dad."
"Luca's presence is fortunate. Jim has been more agreeable by 26.85 percent since he has joined our party."
"But it's not you he's relyin' on, so you're jealous."
Spock's lips thinned.
"Don't give me that, you irritating hobgoblin. Just admit you're jealous 'cause Jim hasn't been leaning only on you these past couple of days."
"It is illogical to be envious of a small child who has suffered misfortune and seeks comfort with the only being who can relate to his experience." Spock said quietly, watching as Luca showed Jim his knot.
"Well emotions ain't logical, and you didn't deny it."
Spock raised an eyebrow.
"He's right you know." Uhura said quietly, sitting on Spock's left. "It's only natural you'd be jealous. Kirk's always been by your side since Nero. It only took a month into our mission before you two were joined at the hip."
"Jim and I are and have never been fused together," Spock said matter of factly.
McCoy just rolled his eyes. "I can never tell if your serious or not. You'd think with a human mother, you'd have heard about metaphors."
"My mother rarely used such exaggeration or comparisons you are so fond of doctor. She was a sensible woman." Spock replied stiffly.
Uhura sighed. Only Jim was ever allowed to talk to Spock about his mother. Ironic since Jim was the only one to use her name to insult Spock, but just like everything else, he managed to coerce Spock into talking to about her somehow. The reason she knew was because a few days before their breakup, she had overheard the end conversation of her two commanding officers conversation.
They had been in an empty rec room, cups of tea between them with their chess game long forgotten. At the moment of her entrance, she had seen Jim lean forward, placing a hand on Spock's shoulder. Quietly, he said, "She would have been proud, Spock."
She didn't have to ask who she was. The pure vulnerability in Spock's eyes was more than enough to clarify. Spock didn't shy away from the human's touch either. Instead he answered with an equally quiet, "I am aware."
Uhura knew at that moment, that she wouldn't be able to win against the captain when it came to Spock's affection. Spock never showed vulnerability to anyone, even with her. He would never speak to her about the destruction of Vulcan, of the death of his mother. While Spock wasn't aware of it himself, she could tell by the way Spock looked at Jim a moment later that the Vulcan was in love. Of course, Spock spent the next few days avoiding Jim like the plague, but soon enough, they were once again each other's shadow.
It was inevitable when Spock came to break things off soon after. It hurt of course, and she still had feelings for the man sitting beside her, but part of being in love was wanting that person to be happy. She had let him go.
Still, it was amusing to watch a Vulcan, specifically Spock, struggle with his love life. He was never nervous or unsure while dating her, but with Jim he was a Vulcan equivalent of a love struck fool. It was amazing that Kirk was so clueless when it came to Spock's feelings. Even Doctor McCoy figured it out and he tried to avoid everyone's love life like his life depended on it. If Spock hadn't made her promise not to tell Jim, she would have in a heartbeat.
"Well Spock, you can easily get Jim's attention if you tell him," she offered.
"I agree. You can take him just outside there and tell him," McCoy crossed his arms, daring Spock to disagree.
To Spock's credit, he didn't play dumb and asked to what they were referring to, however, "I do not wish to burden the captain with any unnecessary information."
Both the humans groaned aloud.
"Your bones aren't the only thing that's dense," the doctor snapped. "You either tell Jim or I will."
Spock opened his mouth to retort, brows furrowed just slightly to indicate his annoyance with the conversation, when Jim popped up in front of them, causing the other two humans to jump in surprise. "I hope you guys aren't planning a mutiny over here with all the whispering." It was said playfully, but Spock felt there was a warning in his words.
He apparently was the only one to notice as Uhura answered casually, "Not at all Captain. Just teasing Spock. You know, seeing if there's anyone he's got his eye on in particular."
Jim smirked, turning his gaze onto Spock. "Is that so? Well Spock, spill the juicy details."
"What details, Jim? He spends all his time lookin' out for your sorry ass, you'd think he was desperately in love with you or somethin'."
Spock sent a Vulcan glare at McCoy, which Jim missed, too busy laughing to have seen it. "Which is why he's the best first officer in the fleet. Can't live without him."
McCoy sent Spock a "you owe me" look. Casually, he got up to get himself his breakfast ration, muttering to himself about emotionally stunted children.
"Just came over to let you know, Luca and I will be heading out to take a look around now. We'll leave the phasers with you."
Uhura sent a look at Spock then got up to join the doctor, making Spock thankful that she decided not to hint at anything else. "Captain, I respectfully request to join you and Luca on your recon."
"Spock," he started. From the sound of his voice, Spock knew Jim wanted to turn him down and was already tired of the argument before it began.
"Jim," Spock said, "If there is trouble, which with you the probability of it is very high, it will be easier to protect Luca if there are two of us. One could be the distraction while the other leads Luca away from the danger."
Jim cursed under his breath. "It's not fair to use my name when you want something you know."
A loud sigh later and he agreed. While it was probably underhanded to use Luca in his plan, Jim was a bit relieved Spock was coming. He didn't want to think why that was. It was a weakness. Just like Luca was a weakness. One he couldn't wean himself off of. Not back then and not now.
Breakfast passed with minimal fuss. The portions were smaller which no one commented on. Luca was just happy to get something into his stomach, and Uhura kept up conversation by asking Spock questions about High Vulcan and pulling Jim into practicing with her which obviously led to annoyed outbursts from McCoy.
It felt normal which made it feel wrong. Jim found himself forcing his smiles, and found his smile strained the longer the façade of normalcy continued. It was wrong. The evidence was sitting right in front of them. The meal was barely going to take the edge off the hunger, and the amount of rations left would only give them five more days of food if carefully distributed. They had no idea when help was going to come. They had to plan for the long term yet they were sitting there, talking like they were still aboard the Enterprise.
A part of him realized the dark panic winding its way into his gut was from the part of him that was a Tarsus survivor. The part of him that would do anything to survive and have no guilt about it. He knew it was different now. That his ship knew he was trapped down on the planet. That he was better prepared from all his previous experiences. But he couldn't shake it.
What was he doing? A good dream? He didn't deserve such luxury. It made him too relaxed. He had actually felt complacent when he woke, and that was the most dangerous of all. He needed the nightmares. How else was he to remember why he did the things he did?
"Captain, are you well?"
Jim's head snapped up to see Spock looking at his hand. He followed his gaze to see his hand was clenched so hard, it was shaking, the nails digging into the tender flesh of his palms.
He loosened his grip, sending Spock a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Just lost in thought. We should get ready to head out. Sooner we stake things out the better."
Spock didn't look convinced, spending the next fifteen minutes watching him. Kirk made sure to come out as nothing but normal. It probably alerted Spock that there actually was something wrong, but it wasn't something he wanted to think too much about. Instead, he focused on preparing for their short trip. He packed several bottles of water, an empty sack, a spare rope, a knife, and a phaser. It wasn't much, but they were definitely essential if they ran into trouble.
Before they left, Jim took off his gold Starfleet shirt and made Spock do the same. When questioned why, he just shrugged, but still expected for Spock comply with the order.
Once set, the three of them left the cave. Luca was their guide, Spock was mapping out the terrain, comparing the scans they had looked over on the ship with what they found, and Jim took the rear, keeping an eye out for danger.
The ravine ran about a mile until it opened up into a grassland with the sea just off into the horizon. There were little to no trees and very little cover. There was one rock formation off into the distance where a large group of the planet's native predators, a reptile with a body type and eyes of a cat but the size of a wolf, lay sun bathing. It was still early in the morning, so they weren't much of a concern as long as they kept their distance.
The purple-green grass, rustled under their feet, drawing the attention of a few other animals, one being an oversized bird standing taller than 10 feet tall with turquoise feathers, and poisonous talons that could actually fly. Luca fell back, staying glued to Jim's side as they passed it. Spock on the other hand looked intrigued, studying the creature with obvious fascination and scientific interest.
Jim couldn't help but smile, wishing he could give him a working tricorder. He loved watching Spock work, and loved even more to listen when Spock talked about a new discovery. He spoke with such enthusiasm (though Spock would deny it), letting very little stop him in his lecture/report in short of an emergency or another experiment.
As they continued walking they noticed and found a few things. A mineral deposit, including large quantities of sulfur, quarts, and salt, which was useful if they had to resort to hunting, a stream of clean water that eventually led to the sea, and to Jim's surprise─
"Flint?"
"Did you not use it during your predicament?" Spock asked.
Jim shook his head, looking at the two rocks. "The colony was well equipped with phasers because there were a lot of predators around. There were a lot of secret government labs too so we had a lot of security as well. Never had to resort looking for other methods to start a fire. If we were running low on power packs or a phaser broke, I'd just . . ." He trailed off, realizing what he was admitting to then looked away. Luca looked up expectantly, clearly knowing where he was going with it and seeing nothing wrong with it. That just made it all the harder to continue. "Anyway, that'll help us save our power packs at least. We should find some wood while we're out here too."
"There are more trees twenty three degrees to the east."
"Lead the way, Commander," the human gestured with a wave of his hand.
Spock took point, easily taking Luca's place as guide as the boy had gone back to staring at the bird like creature that seemed to be stalking them at a distance. Jim really hoped that thing really didn't eat meat. Then again, maybe it'd taste like chicken. What he wouldn't give for a chicken sandwhich.
The patch of trees was mostly a small cluster of conifers, and sadly not many fallen branches. With a quick discussion, they decided to pull off any loose branches they could find. While Spock and Jim pulled off the loose branches, Luca searched the ground for whatever he could find.
At some point, Kirk found himself away from the others, doing his job mindlessly as he thought over the food situation. He'd rather not eat from live animals. They could be contaminated with the fungus, though it was a good sign that this area was still so full of life. It meant the fungus hadn't taken serious root yet, and they hadn't seen any dead or sick animals either. Even if they did hunt, they'd still have to worry about Spock. He knew being vegetarian was a choice by the Vulcan people to respect every living thing as the teaching of Surak taught them, especially since there was more than enough food to go around without resorting to raising animals for that purpose, but that also meant Spock probably never had meat before. He didn't know if Spock would get sick eating it or if his body would adapt to it if he did. Could Spock make his body produce the enzymes needed to digest it? There were questions he would have to ask, and he didn't want to be put in a situation where he would have to force Spock to stray from his beliefs. But he might not have a choice.
He wandered further away, sliding down a steep hill, barely making a sound to reach a few berry bushes. He recognized them in the report and knew they were edible. He inspected them carefully. He didn't see any signs of infection, and if there was, he would be okay eating them. He wasn't sure about anyone else. It could help the others build up immunity . . . or it could kill them. He decided to pick a handful.
As he was picking, putting them into a small sack, he heard the bushes rustle behind him. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He stayed squatted, moving towards the sound, feeling the adrenaline rush through him. Turning, he pulled back the bushes.
There was another slope, leading about a meter down just behind them. Below was another cluster of berry bushes, where a man, his back towards Jim, kneeled in front of them, eagerly shoving the berries into his mouth. Anything that fell to the ground, he quickly picked up and shoved back into his mouth, barely chewing the food before shoving in more. He didn't seem to care about ripeness as he grabbed them off by the handfuls, cutting his hands as they roughly ripped off the berries, adding a few leaves into the mix and not caring.
Jim stared at him calmly with an intense gaze. Without looking away, his hand automatically grabbed the phaser and took aim.
As his finger tightened around the trigger, a strong familiar hand, grasped his tightly, stopping him from firing the weapon.
"Spock, let go," he whispered harshly, still staring at the man.
"For what purpose?" He replied. "Why are you attempting to fire at a Starfleet officer?"
The question took time to penetrate Jim's consciousness. When it did, he finally really looked at the man below. Sure enough, he was wearing the grey dress uniform. The uniform was almost brown with the amount of dirt and grime it had accumulated and ripped in several places, but sure enough it was an officer's uniform.
Spock carefully pried the phaser out his hand, making Jim scowl, but did not put up a fight for it.
Spock stood, righting his shirt, then called out to the man. "Commadore?"
The man below twisted around, falling over onto his butt in the process, scooting away from them. His eyes were wide with alarm, full of fear. "Stay back. Stay away."
"Commadore, we wish you no harm. I am Commander Spock from the USS Enterprise."
Kirk waited to be introduced, but it never came. He glanced up at Spock, whose focus was still on the Commadore.
"The Enterprise?" The man mumbled, watching them like an animal about to flee.
"We have come to assist with the situation on this colony. However, the situation was worse off than we had predicted."
"You're here for a rescue?"The man leaned forward.
"We are out of contact with our ship, however, Starfleet is aware we planet side and the Enterprise should receive assistance in the near future."
Jim backed away from the ledge, so he could stand without being seen. He saw Luca standing on the landing above, eyes narrowed at the new adult as well. He couldn't blame the kid.
Spock went down the slope to retrieve the commodore, and Jim watched, not offering assistance or making his presence known. His right hand twitched. He wanted his phaser back. Wanted it back so much it was starting to make his hand feel hot. His mouth felt dry as the commodore came into view.
The commodore froze with the sight of him. Tentatively the man smiled. "You must be Captain Kirk."
Not able to trust his voice, Jim nodded.
Spock reappeared beside the commodore, glancing at the both of them before asking, "Is there anyone waiting for your return?"
"No. I'm alone."
Kirk's eyes narrowed. "The entire time?"
The man nodded once again. "Yeah. Um, I should introduce myself. I am Commodore Decker."
"Decker," Kirk greeted, ignoring the frown the appeared on the man's face. "Spock, we should head back."
"Indeed." Spock turned to Decker. "This way, Commodore."
Jim froze in his spot. Of course Spock invited him back. It was their job to go out and rescue the people on this planet.
"Captain?"
"It's nothing. Take the lead, Commander. I'll watch the rear." Spock stood rooted in his spot for approximately three seconds before following the order. The commodore followed behind him, and Luca joined them once they climbed the second slope, taking his position beside Kirk.
"We shouldn't let more adults join," Luca whispered, watching the commodore with intensity.
Jim watched as well, staring at the slightly hunched shoulders, the too thin frame that made the dress uniform look baggy, and tired yet wild hazel eyes. His grip on Luca's hand tightened. "Yeah."
Sorry, didn't have time to edit the entire thing and am now late for work. will edit when I get home later tonight.