They submitted their application three days later, after asking their friends and Alexis to write them letters of recommendation. Lanie had squealed, wrapping them both in a hug as she assured them over and over that this was the best choice for them. Alexis' eyes stayed trained on Kate the whole time her father told her, a grin stretching across her face as she asked, "Which one of you caved?" Ryan and Esposito competed to see who could write the best letter of recommendation. Kate never told them, but she never couldn't choose between them. Instead, she'd used both of their letters, bringing their grand total to four.
Thirty four days after that, they had their first homestudy visit. The social worker who visited, Tom Day, was friendly and animated, quelling their fears with a practiced ease. "You two seem like you have a handle on this. You've already baby proofed!"
"Well, we have a grandson." Castle explained, his arm tightening around her waist. "We keep an eye on him sometimes for my daughter, Alexis."
"Oh, that's sweet! What's his name?" He sat at the table, a clipboard in front of him as he talked with them.
"Owen." Kate answered, seating herself across from him. "And he is adorable. All smiles all the time, with curious brown eyes, and good tempered like his Mom." She felt her chest swell with pride as she talked about him, her face lighting up as she pictured his gummy grin.
"That sounds great. Tell me more about yourselves." So they launched into their lives, answering his questions honestly about their expectations. She answered questions about her duties as Captain, and how she had a mountain of vacation time she could take off to spend with them as they established their family. Castle talked about his book tours, and how he had an agreement with his publishers not to send him away on long trips for long periods of time while there were young children at home. They got fingerprinted and showed him around the loft, and showed him the nursery that used to be Hope's, but now was Owen's to use when he visited. He then gave them the information about the required thirty hour training class and promised to see them soon.
Eight days later they went to their physicals, requesting copies so they could go in the file. And that night they started classes, learning about the adoption and foster care system. They brainstormed as a group different ways to help a child feel some sort of stability, either by keeping them in touch with family members, or connecting them with people in their own cultural group. And they discussed Reactive Attachment Disorder, and how to deal with it.
They returned home that night, each silent as they let the lesson sink in. Castle didn't even ask, just poured them each a glass of wine, and met her at the couch. Something about the way she wouldn't meet his eye must have tipped him off. "What's on your mind?"
"What if our child never bonds with me?" His arm pulled her into him at her words, his hand sliding up and down her upper arm, comforting her. "I mean, you're the one who's going to be home more. What does that mean for me?"
He took a deep breath. "You're jumping the gun here. This might not be a problem." His hand tightened around her shoulder, his lips connecting with the side of her head. "And even if it is, we'll make it work. You can have your own special things with them that I'm not a part of. Besides, if we adopt an older child, they'll be at school for most of the day, and it won't matter where I am." As she leaned back into him, he played with the ends of her hair, twisting it around his fingers. "You're going to be a natural at this. I saw it with Hope, and I see it every time you play with Owen. Don't psych yourself out."
"I'll try." She agreed, sinking into his chest. His arms around her quieted her fears to a mere whisper, one that could be overpowered by her limited experience. But they didn't bring up the class again that night.
Twenty-six days after, when they'd been to two of the classes, Tom came to visit them again. This time, Kate handed him a folder with her service record in it, as well as their physicals and their forms that Dr. Burke had filled out. He sat with them in Castle's office, in one of the comfy chairs. Kate took his seat while her husband pulled over a chair, his hand resting on her knee. Tom took his time, looking around and taking in the room. "I like this. The books, the pictures. It tells a story about the people who live here."
Kate grinned, her hand covering her husband's. "The first time I saw it, I realized it was my dream library. I used to have books lining the stairs at my apartment." She looked around the now familiar room, her eyes catching some of her favorite books on their shelves. "I was so jealous the first time I saw this."
"I wouldn't expect anything less in the home of a novelist." Tom grinned, tilting his head to better see one of the picture on Castle's desk. "Is this your grandson, or is this Hope?"
They answered in unison, their voices falling as they spoke. "Hope." It was one of Kate's favorites. The little girl in her crib, asleep, her fist wrapped around the trunk of the elephant that now resided on the top shelf of the bookcase.
The scratch of Tom's pen on his notepad brought her back to reality. "Would it be fair to say that you're a little nervous about this process? Afraid to be let down again?"
Kate let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding as she heard her fear out loud. She'd hoped it wouldn't be so obvious. "Pretty much. But I'm trying to keep the faith this time around." Her hand found Castle's knee, giving it an appreciative squeeze. "That's what he's best at."
"And it's good that you two are open to counseling." Tom continued, his brown eyes inviting. "A lot of these kids have dealt with losses, and other life changing events. It's great that you understand and can normalize the need for help every now and then." He offered them a cheerful smile before looking back down at his notes. "Okay, why don't you tell me about your childhoods? What type of discipline you grew up with, your relationships with your parents, anything that you think is important."
They took turns describing their upbringings, Castle going first as he described the single-parent household he'd always known. He spoke of boarding schools and traveling, and described his mother's active role in his upbringing, despite the distance that came with her job. And then he described raising his daughter the same way. Listening to him describe raising Alexis helped Kate realize how this was sort of new territory for both of them. She had never raised a child and didn't count her limited experience with Hope, and he had never co-parented. He was always the one responsible for the decisions.
Kate went on to tell a different story, one of being raised by two parents, spending time with cousins, and vacations to her father's cabin over the winter. She spoke of ballgames with her father, helping her mother with Thanksgiving dinner, and singing carols around the fire over the holidays. The entire time, her husband watched her, soaking in her stories like a sponge, as per usual.
"And how would you say you get along with your parents now?"
She heard her husband snort next to her, making a grin bubble up on her face. "Are you kidding? I'm half surprised my Mother hasn't shown up today, unannounced, to declare us good parents in an attempt to 'help' us with our application." She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud, the visual both hysterical and terrifying. "But in all seriousness, my Mother is wonderful, and just as excited about what all of this could mean as we are. She's supportive, kind, and a bit too curious for her own good, but she has the best intentions at heart."
"I'm glad to hear it." The social worker trained his eyes on Kate, his gaze steady and his question clear.
She took a breath, fiddling with her hands in her lap again. "Well, my Mom died when I was nineteen." The room grew cold, the positive energy zapped up with a single sentence, her stomach sinking. "And my Dad and I were estranged for some time." It was the easiest way to put it, without diving in completely. It didn't matter anyway because it wasn't representative of their relationship now. "But we've both come around, and now we get along like we used to." She grinned as she spoke, remembering the ball game they went to a month ago, keeping track of stats as they caught up. "He's the second person I want to tell all my big news to. We meet for lunch every week, and he comes over for dinner every now and then."
"I'm glad to hear that." Tom leaned forward, both of their attention focused on him. "I know you two are trying to adopt. Even so, it's important that the child still have ties to their family members. Many of them have stayed with family before entering the system, and in some cases they have extremely close bonds."
They nodded simultaneously, like always. "Of course." Kate stated, her hand tightening on her husband's knee. "We can do that."
Tom's grin stretched wider than she'd ever seen it as he leaned over to make a small mark on his form. "Great. Speaking of maintaining familial relationships, how would you feel about taking in a sibling group?" She and her husband locked eyes, his eyebrows raised as he looked back at her, following her lead. "I don't need an answer today. Just think about it."
She heaved her shoulders up and down, searching her husband's face for a clue. "I mean, I always wanted an older sister. I just wanted to take all her clothes and meet older boys, but still."
"I wanted a younger sibling, one I could play with behind the scenes."
He wouldn't answer without her okay, a fact she found both endearing and annoying. A sibling would be great for their new addition. Except she knew that one kid was a huge adjustment. How much more of an adjustment would two kids be?
"I do want to mention that saying yes to this question doesn't guarantee you a group. We still may match you with only one child." Tom's voice cut through her thoughts, answering her questions. She took a moment to look around and imagine their future. But instead of the one child she always saw sitting on the couch, watching movies with them, she saw two. An older one, pointing and laughing at the screen, huddled close to her side, and a younger one curled up on her husband's chest.
So when she made the decision, she looked her husband in the eye. "We can do it. We can take siblings." The grin on her husband's face washed away all her doubts.
Twenty three days after that visit, they'd completed all the classes, and handed over all of their paperwork. They became registered foster parents. They celebrated at Alexis' house, their grandson nestled in Kate's lap, his fingers wrapped around her hair. "Watch out for that, he loves to pull." As if on cue, Owen yanked as hard as he could, making Kate yelp out in surprise. The sound of his giggle almost made the pain worth it, but she pushed her hair over to her other shoulder, just out of his reach. "I think he just likes seeing our reactions." Alexis explained, sitting next to Kate on the couch.
Kate pressed a kiss to his cheek while he grabbed the buttons on her sweater. "Maybe he'll be a scientist."
"That's what Emmet said!" Alexis grinned, her hand smoothing down his hair. She met her father's eyes across the room. "So, you two are licensed now. How long until you get to meet some kids?"
Castle answered, Alexis' attention focused on him, her hand resting at Owen's back. "Well, there is a meet and greet coming up in about a month that we can go to. Until then we have to wait for a call."
Alexis offered Kate a wide smile, her hand falling away from her son's back. "Well, I wish you two the best." Her eyes flickered between them before settling on her father. "It's nice to see you both so happy again."
"We've been unhappy?" Kate asked, adjusting the toddler in her lap and tying her hair back.
Alexis shrugged, her bright blue eyes now trained on the woman sitting next to her. "Sort of. It's hard to explain. I mean, you were happy before too, when it was just the two of you, but something changed after you gave back Hope." Kate could feel her heart hardening at the memory, her mind drifting back to the year that followed. "I mean, I can only imagine how it felt, I would lose my mind if something happened to this little guy." Her hand reached out to touch him, like a reassurance he was still there. "But to watch you get back on solid ground, and then make a decision that was meant to bring joy back into your lives has been wonderful to experience. And I can't wait until this all works out in your favor."
"Me neither." Kate held her Grandson closer, crooning in his ear. "What do you say, Owen, want to be an uncle?" His answering coo made her smile, his enthusiasm for everything bringing her hope.
It was six days later when she got a call at work, the harsh sound of her office phone pulling her out of her paperwork trance. "Beckett."
"Um, I'm looking for Kate Castle, I think I have the wrong extension."
"No, that's me. Sorry." When her Dad called and she answered like that, he always responded with a cheeky 'this is he'. "They still call me 'Beckett' at work. What can I help you with?"
"This is Tom." Her heartbeat picked up at that, the file in front of her closing. "We tried your house and your husband's cell, but no one picked up."
"Sorry about that, he's in a meeting with his publisher."
"That's fine, I'm just glad I got in touch with one of you. Is there any chance you can head into the office today? We have two siblings, and we'd like you to look at their profiles. They have to be placed quickly."
Her heart stopped, and her hand searched for the planner she kept underneath her mountains of paperwork. She looked it over, thankful that she didn't have any meetings planned for later. "Yeah, I can come, and Castle should be free after one. What works?"
"Just get here as soon as you can, and I'll be waiting."
"Great. See you soon." She hung up and pulled out her cell phone, typing a quick message to her husband. They may have found a match, and the kids need to be placed quickly. As soon as you're out of your meeting, head over to Tom's office. I'll meet you there. She flung her jacket over her arm, the weather warm enough not to need it, but she wasn't sure if she'd be coming back today. She left instructions with Espo, and told him to call her if he needed anything before running to the elevator, her heart beating faster as her nerves set in.
Castle beat her there. She found him bouncing on the balls of his feet, a smile plastered on his face as he talked with Tom. "Here she is!" His arms wrapped around her as she approached, his lips pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek. "Are you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be." He kept his arm around her, helping her relax as they walked into Tom's office together.
It was in Tom's office that Kate first laid eyes on the children who would one day be hers. It was only two pictures, but she felt like she couldn't take her eyes away from them. The boy was about five, with dark hair and sad eyes, a scowl on his face as he looked past the camera. And the little girl was probably just over a year, her hair a few shades lighter than her brother's, her dark eyes staring at the camera, her mouth open in surprise. They were beautiful, and Kate could feel her heart pulling her towards them.
Tom was explaining the situation, the need for urgency. "The woman they've been staying with, Diane, just found out that her mother is sick. She has to move back to Canada within the month."
"That's awful." Kate answered, her heart going out to the woman she'd never met.
"She's torn up about it. She was hoping to adopt these two, and the other girl in her care, but we can't finalize anything that quick. I assured her I'd try to find a good home for these two." He pointed to the picture of the boy. "This is Christopher. He is quiet, and for the most part takes direction well. But he is slow to trust, so it may take him a bit to warm up to you. Once he does though, he's the cuddliest kid and he opens up easier." His finger drifted to the baby, Kate's heart soaring as she looked at the picture. "And this is Olivia. At first we were worried about her because she seemed a little behind, developmentally. But in the care of Diane, she has thrived. She's still a bit behind on her language, but I think Christopher speaks for her." He sat back, his hands folding on his desk. "Just one more thing. Usually we advise against it to keep things as stable as possible, but you may want to think about legally changing their first names if this placement works out." Her eyebrow raised in question, and she and her husband shared a look before Castle asked for more information.
Tom took a deep breath. "Their mother is determined to get them back, at any cost. We were working closely with her on a reunification plan, and it seemed to be going well. Until she took them from their last foster home and tried to flee the country."
They gasped, and Kate found herself clutching her hand around the picture of Christopher, already protecting him. "So you're worried she may try to take them again."
"Unfortunately, she might. She's in prison for the next eight years or so, but I worry about what will happen when she gets out." Kate met her husband's eye, the picture of Olivia clutched in his hand the same way. She watched a playful smile tease the corners of his mouth before he turned back to the social worker, his hand clutching at hers.
"When can we meet them?"
Two days later, they knocked on the door of the house where the two children lived. Alexis had come with them, Owen in tow, with the permission of Diane, who thought that a younger child there would help open them up. The door opened, a woman Kate's age offering them a smile. "You must be the Castle family. It's great to see you all!" She ushered them in, taking their jackets and hanging them on the rack. She shook everyone's hand, pinched Owen's toes, and led them into her living room. Boxes were stacked high as she prepared to move, the house disheveled as she tried to keep children entertained and get her life on track. "Okay, Liv is napping, I'm gonna grab her in a second." She looked at the boy on the couch, who was entranced with whatever was on TV. "CJ, can you come here for a sec?" He rolled his eyes, pausing the television and shuffling forward. He clutched at Diane's leg, peering out at them from behind her, his dark eyes big and bright. Diane kneeled down, her hands running through his hair. "This is Rick and Kate, their daughter, Alexis, and baby Owen. They came to meet you and Liv."
"Am I gonna have to live with them now?"
Diane looked up at them, regret in her eyes, pleading for help, and Kate found herself wondering if they'd had this conversation with the kids yet. Kate found herself copying the woman's position, kneeling down to look the boy in the eye, opening herself up to him.
"Not if these next few visits don't go well. But you have to go live somewhere, sweetheart. I can't take you with me."
So they had talked, and he wasn't handling it well, not that she could blame him. It couldn't be easy to jump around from place to place during your life. She held out a hand to him. "Hi, Christopher, I'm Kate."
His face wrinkled into a look of disgust, his head hiding in Diane's shoulder. "Don't call me that!"
Kate found herself launching backwards. Two minutes in and she'd already done something wrong. Diane looked back at her, brown eyes full of compassion. "He hates being called by his full name. We usually stick with CJ."
"I'm sorry, nobody told me that. I'll remember that from now on." She made her voice as soothing as possible, delighting when he turned his head to look back at her. He took her still outstretched hand, shaking it once before pulling it away. "It's nice to meet you."
Diane pushed him out from around her, directing him to the couch where another girl was sitting, a few years older than him, her hands in a book. "I have to wake up Liv. But go sit and talk to Rick and Kate." She stood, addressing the adults. "Make yourself at home, please." With that she left them, climbing up the stairs and leaving the alone with the children.
Alexis sat on the couch next to the older girl, Owen cooing in her lap. The girl turned her head, her smile wide, her hair in two bushy pigtails high on her head. "You have a baby! Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?"
"He's a boy. His name is Owen. What's your name?"
"Lauren." She reached out, her hand unsure of where to go until she felt his feet. "What does he look like?"
"Well, he's got brown eyes like yours, and red hair like mine. And he's super chubby!"
Lauren giggled, moving closer. "Can I look at him?"
"Yeah?" Alexis seemed unsure, but the girl was gentle, moving really close, her hands on the side of his face. Her nose almost touched his, but he didn't seem to mind, cooing and smiling, reaching his hands forward to play with her hair.
"Lauren doesn't see very good, she has to get really close to you if she wants to look at you." CJ explained to them, watching the exchange in front of him with amusement.
Lauren grinned back at Owen, sitting back and clapping her hands with delight. "He's so cute! And happy! Happy babies are the best."
"He is." And before Kate knew it, the two became fast friends, Lauren chatting Alexis' ear off about everything she could think of, much to the redhead's delight.
Kate turned her attention back to the boy, who had fallen silent, his eyes glued to the still paused TV. "What do you like to watch, CJ?"
"Scooby Doo and Spongebob. Except Liv hates Scooby Doo so I can only watch it when she's sleeping." He crossed his arms over his chest, his scowl deepening, and Kate got the sense that this rule wasn't his favorite.
"You know, when I was little, Scooby Doo scared me. It used to give me nightmares."
"Scooby Doo only gives nightmares to babies." His grin was mischievous, revealing a set of deep dimples.
Kate chuckled, trying to meet his eye. "Well yeah, I was a baby once. But now I catch bad guys, and Scooby Doo doesn't scare me anymore."
His eyes grew wide as he looked at her, his attention no longer fixated on the television behind her. "You catch bad guys? Like a superhero?"
Now she grinned, her husband watching the interaction with laughter in his eyes. "Kind of!"
"Cool. I like Spiderman and Green Lantern the best." Their attention was drawn to the stairs, where Diane was returning, a confused looking Olivia in her arms. She could feel her heart skip a beat as she watched her husband take the girl, gently rocking her back and forth as he crooned.
Kate turned her attention back to the boy, who was watching his sister with a scowl, making her wonder how often Olivia got more attention than he did. "I like Elektra."
"Do you have comic books?"
"We do, at our house. Maybe I'll bring you a few next time." She found herself breathing a sigh of relief as he opened up a little, talking a mile a minute about his own collection. After some time, Castle handed the infant over to Kate, who listened to her brother with rapt attention.
The visit really took off when Diane came back with crayons and paper, spreading them on the hardwood floor for all to enjoy. CJ drew his favorite superheroes and Chuckie from the Rugrats while Olivia scribbled with the colors that grabbed her attention. Even Lauren had picked up some paper, drawing tiny dots so she could show her new friend how she read. She chattered about music, and how she wanted to be a songwriter someday, but that Diane hadn't found a piano teacher willing to teach a blind girl.
When the visit was over, Diane wrapped them in enormous hugs at the door. "I have been praying every night for a family for all of them, and I'm so happy that my prayers were answered for two out of three." She clasped her hands around Kate's, her eyes pleading. "Would it be weird if I asked you just to keep me updated? Just for a little while as they adjust?"
"Not at all." Her husband answered before she could. "We get it." Giving up kids that were wanted was tough, no matter the circumstances.
Lauren cried as Alexis climbed into the car, one hand on her cane, the other arm wrapped around Diane's arm. "Will she come back again?"
Diane pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead. "Maybe, sweetheart. We'll see."
Kate sat in the back with the baby, who started snoring the moment they pulled away. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, to talk with her family. "Lauren took a liking to you, Alexis."
"I know," the younger woman chuckled, "I hated leaving. You know, she knows that she'll probably end up in a group home."
"Why would she think that?" Castle voiced her feelings, her heart going out to the young girl.
"Because she's blind. She told me it was harder to be placed because of a disability. It's not fair." The car fell silent as her words sunk in, Owen's snores echoing around them. "I mean, I'd take her, but I kind of have a husband to think about, and it took you guys how long, exactly?"
"About three months." The answer fell from her lips quickly, surprising both occupants in the car. "But you should talk to Emmet. Maybe he'll go for it, and then Lauren will only be in a group home for a few months."
"I bet you could even visit her while the application is processing."
Kate could see the small smile on Alexis' face as they spoke, urging her on. "Maybe."
Five days passed before Alexis and Emmet officially asked them to write a letter of recommendation.
A/N: I keep saying, "just one more chapter," but they keep getting away from me. I have a clear vision about how I want this to end, it's just taking me longer than I anticipated. But I hope you're all up for the ride! I mean it this time, just one more left!