My Dearest LuAnna,

Please forgive me but I must express my condolences. I want you to know that I am always here for you when you need someone. I may be thousands of miles away, however, you still hold my heart. When you are upset I want you to think about the love that I am sending. I want you to think about the many times I have wrapped my arms around you and held you. I want you to know that I will help you get through this even though I cannot be by your side.

I have been searching for a picture of myself to send you, however, I have come up empty handed. The next best item I could provide you was with one of my dog tags. I hope that you will either wear them or view them with pride. They serve as a symbol of my everlasting love for you. They also serve as a reminder that one day I will return home to you. We will pick up where we left off (before our fight). We can start a family and we can talk about making you the new Mrs. Blackshaw. I think I am ready for that.

LuAnna, I understand that you have questions and I would love to share with you every detail. I am just unable to. You see, the war, it changes a man. I now understand why my father acted the way he did. I have seen horrible sights. I have lost countless friends. I have heard the screams of innocent lives that should not have been lost.

I am not one to talk though. I have done some horrible things during my time here, thus far. I believe you can interpret what it is I am trying to say. I am not proud of myself, LuAnna. I would love to have an open line of communication with you. That will be key for our relationship. However, I am just not ready to open up and explain myself yet. It takes a lot to relive the experiences that I have had here. I now truly understand why so many soldiers will return home with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think I may have it myself.

I will make it my mission to return home to you. Please don't worry about receiving a letter that would pronounce me dead. I do not plan to be in a coffin anytime soon. If you were to receive a letter it would read something like:

It is with great honor that I would like to share your significant other's

achievement with you. Sergeant Ben Blackshaw has received the Kuwait Liberation Medal for his participation in Operation Desert Storm.

If you receive such a letter please rewrite it and send it to me. I would really love to hear about the nice things they would have to say about me. Also, please keep the letter in a safe place. This would be a great honor and I would love to save the document as a certificate that I can put together with the medal I will receive.

I would like to ask you a favor similar to the one you have asked of me. I would like to be reminded someway of the island. If you could send me an object, a postcard, a picture, anything that will remind me of my home on Smith Island, I will be forever grateful. I am starting to get very home sick here and would do anything to return home.

I wait with bated breath for your next letter.

I am forever yours,

Ben