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Niylah

It took several seconds before Niylah's eyes adjusted to the unusual slant of light. She couldn't tell if it was the downward spiral climb she took to get there that made her feel light headed or the shadow cast streaming about. She grounded herself then stood in awe looking up at the magnificent natural light streaming in from above. She took in everything around her. She recognized some of the things she saw that had belonged to her Mother and others that were items from her dreams.

By no means was the cavern large, 25x25'at best. The shape was almost a perfect circle. There were drawings, symbols, lists and maps chalked on the walls. There were the remote sounds of water trickling somewhere close. The floor was clean and smooth.

The focal point was a medium sized fire pit. It was made of many small to medium sized stones and several larger boulders surrounding it. It appeared that they served as stools and workstations. In the center was a tripod that was sturdy enough to hang meat and a large cauldron. The cauldron was there hanging, asking to be used. The entire space was dedicated to keeping the Old Ways alive.

Once again, Niylah's eyes lifted toward the ceiling. The way the stonewalls arched toward the opening was magnificent. She knew without igniting a single branch that fire smoke would ascend directly to the opening above and not permeate an inch of the living space.

This is a perfect sanctuary, Niylah thought to herself and then set out like a little kid to explore. She was giddy, elated and engulfed in reverence. Every moment and every item felt like a gift.

The first thing Niylah was drawn to was the Eastern alter. Items of her Mother's could be found there as well as several of her own. A childhood hairbrush, a clay goblet she made from river clay when she was little, and a necklace. Her breath hinged when she saw the latter. She hadn't thought of it for years. It was one her Mother put on her every time she'd left the house. "It will bring you good luck," she'd always say.

Niylah reached down and touched the necklace admirably. She had always loved the way the stone shone in light; golden with moss streaks running through. Her fingertips absorbed the sensation. It was charged with electricity, which should have alarmed her, but didn't. Without hesitation she brought it to her head. It was too small to slip over cleanly, but it had an expansion, which she quickly set to a larger size. How long had it been since she'd worn it? Fourteen years perhaps? It felt absolutely magical. She loved having it back. She now understood that it wasn't lost it; her mother had brought it her.

Niylah conjured images of her Mother sitting on the floor in front of her alter, reverently honoring the shrine made of wood and stone, each trinket, each homemade candle, each bundles of dried herbs, the goblet.

"Mom," she whispered falling to her knees. She made a point of sitting next to where she thought her Mother would have been, not directly in front.

"Esthara," a whisper echoed through the chamber. "In here, I'm Esthara".

Niylah swung around and examined every corner. No one was there. No one she could see anyway. She sighed and let go. If her Mother were going to make contact, it would be here. She did not press energy or call out. She knew Esthara would appear when ready.

With absolute sincerity, Niylah contemplated her Mother's name. Until that moment she was just Mom. Now she was much, much, more. She was Esther. She was what some called a Shaman, but most called a Witch. There was a difference. Niylah knew this even before reading her Mother's journal. The difference, however, became clearer over the past few days. Esthara was both. The Witch in her manifested power on this realm and Juhn Nation, which is what she reverently referred to in her journal as the "Other World." The Shaman in her walked between worlds and could literally interact with beings, souls and spirits that walked freely in this space. The Witch in her could have as well, but retrieval was not a skill the Witch inside her honed. Shaman lineage was in her blood, the Witch lived in her DNA. Retrieval was something her bloodline was particularly skilled at.

Niylah thought back to the first time she'd learned about the other world. She was an avid reader, always had been, and at age eight came across CS Lewis's, The Man Who Knew Too Much. It blew her mind to think of what Lewis called purgatory. It scared her actually, but only at first. She asked her Mother about it. In a surprisingly grown up manner, she explained how "Some people believe there is a place where souls and spirits reside. She went on to spell out the difference by saying, "Souls leave a body with death and travel without it until they are reborn into a womb. Spirits have a body, but sometimes they experience trauma or pain so strong that they abandon it."

"I don't understand Mom, how can I leave my body? Niylah remembered asking."

"Well it's like this honey. Remember when you were really angry with that man that who was mean to his daughter?

"Yeah!"

"It's just like what happened then. Do you remember how you were so angry that you told me you felt like you were beside yourself? You had felt that little girls pain and you were so upset that your spirit left your body for a little bit, but it only left to protect you so that you wouldn't have to feel the wounding so profoundly."

"And my spirit came back?"

"Yes, of course honey, Esthara said with a head ruffle. "But it's important to know not all spirits come back. Yours always will because you're an amazing girl and you are unusually grounded, so your spirit will stay close. Some spirits aren't so lucky. There are even some that are incredibly grounded, but experience trauma so great that they simply can't stay here. The pain would devour them. So they go somewhere else to survive it. It would hurt too much to stay here, so they leave. Most make their way back here after a time, but some aren't so lucky. Some need help. They need someone to retrieve their spirit for them."

"Where do they go?"

"Most seek solace in the place between our worlds. It's a place where spirits gather. Some stay there because they prefer the company of other spirits to people with bodies. Others want to come back, but don't know how or are too terrified that if they come back it will be the same way as before. But the world between is a dangerous place, not for all spirits, but for most. It's very alluring because there's less pain, or so it appears at first, but the longer a spirit stays there, the more mental anguish they suffer from the separation and the more difficult it is to return to their body. The spirits home is in the body you see, and unification is the way to a healthy heart and mind. The ones who spend the greatest length of time in between start to dissociate in each realm."

"Mom, will it happen to me again?"

"Honey, you're my daughter and you're my blood. You will always be able to leave your body and travel and you will always find your way back; no matter what realm you enter. Integration is in your bloodline. You could become beside yourself with rage again, yes, and you could feel so in love with someone that you feel turned inside out, but you my dear sweet girl, you will always be tethered.

Niylah lingered on the memory of her mother for a very long time before setting out to explore other areas of the cave.

The South wall had a shelf and jars filled with ingredients, as well as stacks of animal skins, masks, bones and extra cloth. This was where the sound of trickling could be heard the most. There was also a large rock pile that caught Niylah's eye. She got the feeling that if a few of the lower stones were pulled loose, she'd find a second entrance/exit.

The West wall had a stack of books, rolled maps, a staff, three rattles, and a goatskin drum. It also had a large map chalked onto the wall. The cave art was skillfully drawn and illustrated both earth and sky. Niylah stared at it for the longest time. She recognized some of the images from her Mother's journal; others were completely new.

The North wall was set up as a sleeping quarters. There was a bathing basin and feather bed. The blankets were made from animal skins and appeared to be soft, clean and mold free. She couldn't resist lying down; the lure was just too strong.

The second Niylah's head hit the pillow she felt comforted by the residual energy of her Mother. She loved the position of the pillow and how it looked directly into the now darkening sky. Night was falling.

Feathers molded around Niylah. They welcomed Niylah while the scent of lavender swirled about. She thought about her day and was extremely grateful she had told her father there was a possibility she might not return that evening. Yes, she felt a pinch of guilt knowing he'd worry, but this was something she had to do. This was where she needed to be, ready or not. She took several deep breaths, stretched her long lean arms and legs and settled in. She'd catch a quick nap, then head out for firewood to keep her through the night.