A/N: This is a bit longer than the previous ficlets. It's a tag to episode 4.10. Thank you for your reviews!
He should have been happy. He had identified Alice – Mariana, her siblings, who were both alive and well, and the LAPD had given her a proper burial. Slider was in jail awaiting trial. The case could finally be closed, and justice served. He should have been happy, and yet, he felt sad and exhausted. All their hard work could not bring Mariana back, nor reunite Gus with his other sister, Paloma.
"Maybe I should have never brought Gus into this." He said, aloud, as he shrugged off his jacket. He saw Sharon's shoulders tense from where she stood, balancing on one boot while carefully removing the other. She looked tired, too, and as defeated as he felt. "Why would you say this?" she asked.
He shrugged, exhaling with a sigh. "Because maybe living with the hope of finding her someday is better than knowing the truth, that she was killed and dumped like trash and now she's buried forever."
She shook her head gently and turned her body so she faced him. "Nobody should have to bury a little sister. Nobody should feel entitled to take someone else's life. It's unfair, Rusty, we both know that, and especially when victims are children like Mariana." She reached out to rub his arm gently and he once again felt tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "But you gave Gus closure. He will never stop hurting, but that will still be better than wondering, day in day out, where his sister is. It's better to know the truth, however bad it might be, than to live in an endless limbo."
She was right, of course, but he found that even her words could not make him feel better. He hugged her instead, finding solace in the familiarity of her scent and her comforting arms around his back. She felt smaller than she used to when he hugged her for the first time four years back, and yet she was as solid as a rock, holding the weight of his body and that of his fears without hesitation or falter. As he felt the weight on his heart ease a little, he was grateful Flynn had volunteered to get them all takeout while he and Sharon drove straight to the condo. He assumed it was a deliberate choice to allow him and Sharon a few minutes on their own, and he appreciated that.
He gave her a last squeeze and released her. "Thanks Sharon." he said, and she gave him a warm smile as an answer. She reached up and wiped a stray tear off his cheek with her thumb, then let her arm fall at her side. "Andy will be here soon, why don't you go and find us something nice to watch while I set the table?"
Truth be told, he would have rather spent the night alone with Sharon, but he understood why she would want him there tonight. He was so used to thinking of Sharon as this indestructible hero that it was hard to imagine she might welcome, or even need, someone to lean on. Someone willing to carry part of her burden.
So, when she curled into Andy's side on the couch and promptly fell asleep 10 minute into the 90's action flick he had selected for her benefit, glasses askew on her nose and a leg dangling haphazardly off the cushions, he decided he was not going to tease her about it.
Too much, that was.