Clexa, Part II

Clarke

By daybreak, Clarke, Aden and Titus had slipped from Polis undetected. They had three of Lexa's finest horses and a small trailer for Heda herself.

During the night Clarke snuck back into Lexa's chambers and obtained her armor, which she herself now wore. She had been retraumatized by the residual death energy lingering in the room, but not the site of blood. Aden had hid any trace of Heda's assassination. The longer they could go without anyone knowing, the better.

Leading the way, Clarke felt as if Lexa's arms were somehow woven into the fabric of Lexa's armor, armor that now clung to her body in all the right ways. She felt as if she were being held upright and safe, and that Lexa was offering comfort and strength, taking the reins, guiding her turns, helping her find the perfect spot to execute her plan. She couldn't describe this feeling or the location to Aden, all he knew was she'd know it when she saw it.

Before the sun reached its highest peak, they were there. It was the most beautiful spot Clarke could imagine. It was near a waterfall and beside a glorious bluff. The current ran fast and the water was crystal clear and icy cold, so cold it could preserve Lexa's body, and her own, if it came to this.

Sighing, Clarke felt a sense of relief. If she were about to experience her last moments on earth, she wanted it to be here, with the sun shining down, the sound of the water and Lexa by her side.

Clarke was in no way suicidal, but the few months she had spent on earth had taught her very quickly that life was both fragile and temporary. Her time on the ship had taught her the same. If this were the end, she was ready. Like Lexa taught, leadership came with a price. The Commander of Death was about to either pay it, or be rewarded by it.

Titus and Aden placed Lexa's body with her head facing east, the direction of the village she was born, as Clarke instructed. She had learned about Lexa's early years on their trip Arcadia. They had experienced a few moments of joy on that trip Clarke would never forget. Joy that happened before Pike committed genocide and started the events that led to Lexa's death. Wanheda would never forgot this, nor let it go. Pike would pay the price for his brutality, Wanheda was sure of it.

Once Heda's body was in place, Clarke placed the wildflowers she'd gathered in a large circle on the grass around Lexa's lithe frame then handed a journal filled with maps and instructions to Aden. An incredible wave of grief course through her veins the instant he offered his hand in a Grounder style embrace. She took it, but she could not say the words. She just couldn't. Instead, she nodded, like Heda always did and could tell by his expression that he understood.

Reverently entering the circle, Clarke dropped to her knees and faced the sky for a long time before mirroring her lover's pose. With The Flame held firmly in one hand and Lexa's long lean fingers in her other, she contemplated the juxtaposition. The technology exuded warmth and felt alive with energy; Lexa's did not. Nothing emanated from her fingertips, no warmth, no energy, no residual spirit, nothing. It broke her heart, but she wouldn't allow the pain to obliterate her hope. This was a risk she was willing to take; her plan was going to go one-way or another, she didn't know which.

Tears charged from corners of her eyes, so Clarke closed them. She inhaled slowly, deeply, and reverently then placed The Flame on the tip of her tongue. The second she closed her mouth, the technology came alive. She had considered having Titus slice her neck open and implant The Flame for her, but couldn't be vulnerable with him that way. It was easier to ingest it, and if that didn't work, she would ask Aden to handle the scalpel. Fortunately, gestation was the right choice. She didn't fight it when The Flames moved in her mouth and toward the back of her throat. She wasn't tempted to spit it out. She wasn't afraid. She simply let The Flame have its way and seek whatever it sought.

Within seconds, warmth spread throughout Clarke's body. Then came the lights. What started out with seven vertical orbs spinning clockwise and spiraling toward her quickly blurred together then expanding outward, eventually turning into a solid screen of red before her eyes. It reminded her of the time she was so tired hunting panthers she fell to the ground, landing flat on her back, eyes closing, face to the sun. She saw nothing but red then as well.

After several moments a small dot appeared in the middle of the screen. It seemed as if she was above it now, a thousand feet above it, in fact. Then the dot changed shape. It was she and she was the dot. She was seeing herself. As she descended colors and shapes become clear. The,, with a flash, she unified with herself and was standing in the middle of an amphitheater.

Clarke felt the earth vibrating below her feet, or what she thought was the earth anyway, though this version of earth was far healthier than anything she'd known previously. This earth was pristine and alive with vibrant energy, energy so strong if pulsated all around her.

Clarke couldn't believe the beauty of the mountains surrounding her. The trees seemed alive, the small stream that trickled through the circle sparkled with light, the fire next to the alter, an alter that looked exactly like the one from her dream of Aden's initiation, crackled like a drum. Everything was breathtakingly beautiful; so beautiful it brought tear to her eyes.

Then there were the wildflowers. There were so many and so many different kinds and colors and shapes, Clarke knew she could spend a lifetime just learning their names. They were the valley floors, fragrant, swaying slightly in the wind, dancing. The smell was intoxicating and their sensuality healed her in ways she didn't know she needed. She felt more alive and heightened in this moment than she had ever felt before.

The sensation of Lexa's hands sliding gently up her back and onto her shoulders should have surprised Clarke, but didn't. She felt Lexa's presence a millisecond before she felt her touch.

Closing her eyes, Clarke wanted more than anything for this sensation and this experience to be real. She couldn't take another loss and especially a loss that involved Lexa once again. She was too afraid to speak or turn, though she wanted more than anything to do both.

"I'm here." Lexa whispered. Clarke wanted to burst a 180, but still couldn't move. She feared her mind were laying tricks?

When Lexa gently pulled Clarke backward, initiating physical contact between her wing bones and Lexa's soft warm breasts, Clarke felt her paralysis lighten. When Lexa whispered, "It's okay baby, I'm really here. This is real, we're both really here," Clarke broke free. Tears spilled down her face and fell from her jaw. She turned abruptly and intended on pulling Lexa into a full on embrace, but her knees gave and everything went dim.

Moments later, Clarke awoke to the sensation of Lexa's finger tip lightly touching the indent smack dab in the middle of her chin then move lightly up and down the length of her jaw. Gaining consciousness, she realized her head was in Lexa's lap and that Lexa was looking upon her with the most loving expression she had ever seen, which says a lot considering Lexa was particularly good at long loving glances of yearning.

Clarke couldn't help but notice the lightness in Lexa's eyes. She had always marveled at the way they changed colors. Sometimes they were gray, sometimes powder blue, sometimes green, but here, in this field of wildflowers and abundance, they were lighter than usual. Sage/silver, she decided. They were the color of sage/silver and breathtakingly gorgeous.

Clarke lifted herself from Lexa's lap, being steadied all the way. That's when it really hit her. She could feel Lexa's touch. In absolute elation, she reached out and cupped the side of her gorgeous lover's face. The warmth of her soft flesh and smooth skin amazed her. The consumption of The Flame had worked. She finally succeeded to pull Lexa into her arms and hold her in their first proper hug.

Tears flowed from all all eyes and rolled down soft skin, intermingling, tasting of love and longing. It occurred to Clarke that she had found pure bliss. "Is this bliss?" she asked herself.

"A form of it, yes," Lexa answered softly

Clarke shuddered. She was sure she had asked the question inwardly.

Lexa answered again, softer this time. "We can communicate here without using our mouths."

Clarke nodded, but asked that they speak. She wasn't ready for telepathy, not yet. It was too much for her mind to process, plus she liked looking at Lexa's mouth as it formed various shapes. It was a sensual pleasure she'd never tire of.

Clarke saw Lexa smirk and knew her last thought had been read – though it was hardly a secret that she was obsessed with Lexa's mouth. She had caught been caught staring at it many a times well before they'd shared their first kiss.

Clarke wasn't sure if it was the thought of them kissing that brought their lips together or whether she reached out to Lexa, or Lexa reached out to her, or they simultaneously sought each other and decided she didn't care. The initiation mattered little. However they got there, it was where she wanted to be.

The sensation of Lexa's mouth on hers sent shocks waves through her entire being. Their kiss was tender and nourishing, long and slow, loving and kind, just like the kisses they shared after making love a day earlier.

Neither woman could let go of the other. Heat grew between them and something else. Something Clarke couldn't identiy. She lingered in it, savored it, took it deep into her soul. And, the instant, Lexa pulled away, she felt empty. She lunged forward again feeling blessed by Lexa's generous response.

When Clarke's need to devour Lexa's mouth was finally satiated, she pulled away slightly, but refused to break contact, pressing their foreheads together for many long moments before carefully positioning herself behind Lexa so that they could, as a couple, look off into the same distance. Their fingers never untwined, nor did the gentle caresses cease. Each smiled from ear to ear, hearts full and free.

After a bit, Clarke noticed something on the horizon she hadn't seen before, something coming into view with more and more clarity by the second. It was like a barrier was vanishing right before her eyes.

"That's home," Lexa offered nodding in the direction Clarke stared.

"Home?" Clarke responded playfully, heart leaping at the word and all it signified. She looked more closely and saw a quaint little cottage with candlelight flickering within. "Of course it is, it has you written all over it, Lexa," she teased.

Lexa got the joke, and liked it, but didn't add one of her own. In a very serious tone she rasped, "You're welcome here anytime. There's amazing light and plenty of things you might like to draw; the night sky is very different here. I've never seen anything like it, but you might have from space. I stared at it all night wondering if this was your view from the ship you grew up on."

Clarke loved hearing what Lexa said, but found it so painful. She considered Lexa's words welcoming her to say and needed to know how long. How long could she stay for? She asked without vocalizing, hearing desperation in every syllable.

"For as long as your attention span will allow," Lexa replied, her voice cracking a bit, giving away emotion Clarke was sure she hadn't intended.

Clarke refrained from saying it wasn't enough; that she needed more; that she wanted to stay for eternity, if that's where she'd find Lexa; that she would refuse to leave; that she would never go.

Lexa, held Clarke closer and Clarke knew her thoughts had once again been read.

The two women sat in silence for quite some time, still caressing, swaying side to side, ever so slightly. It almost felt to Clarke like Lexa was lightly rocking her, but her intuition told her otherwise. Her intuition said she was comforting herself as much as she was offering comfort. It hit her flat, Lexa was struggling just as much as she was, maybe more, and of course she was, it was she who died at the hand of her teacher.

Clarke held Lexa tighter, but Lexa pulled away gently and faced her. "Listen Clarke, there are some things I have learned since my arrival that I want you to know. The elders have given me permission to share these things with you, since you're here and have surprised us all with your presence. They truly believe you are the GREAT Wanheda so they want you to know as much as I do. "

"So, you're not angry with me for coming?" Clarke whispered searching Lexa's face, caring little about what the elders Lexa mentioned thought, only about what Lexa thought.

"No," Lexa whispering lovingly, "I know why you did it and I know your plan, well both of your plans actually."

Clarke looked deeply into Lexa's eyes. She should have felt exposed, but didn't."

"So, you know what I'm going to ask of you?"

Yes, Lexa whispered, a hint of sadness flashing across her face. "I do, Clarke, but I'm really not sure if it will work the way you're thinking, not here anyway. Your backup plan is a much better option," she added softly, caressing Clarke's hand in her own, "but it's a plan that scares me beyond words."

Clarke took a moment to examine her plan more closely. If she survived Night Blood and the gestation of The Flame, she could move onto Plan A. Plan A involved finding Lexa and having her remove The Flame whilst with her in the other world, making it available to any and all of the Heda's that came before her. It would be another spirit that returned to Clarke's body, not her own. Clarke would stay with Lexa. Of course, this all hinged on whether The Flame was actually in her neck. Given that she and Lexa could touch, there was a slight chance this plan would succeed.

Plan B, went into effect if Clarke could not find Lexa in the otherworld. If this were the case she'd return to her body and travel with Aden, Titus and Lexa to Arcadia and convince Abby to flat-line her, remove The Flame whilst technically dead, then revive her afterward. The Flame would be given to Aden and he'd be Heda, just as Lexa wished. There was a risk with Plan B though and Clarke knew it. Convincing Abby to flat-line Clarke would be tricky at best, but she had to try.

Lexa looked softly into Clarke's eyes the entire time Clarke reexamined her plans. Clarke sensed Lexa's concern and had no words of comfort. Instead she pulled her lover in for another long leisurely kiss. The taste of honey on her lips, the tenderness, the softness of her caresses were amplified immeasurably. Clarke made up her mind, this was bliss and now she wanted to know every detail. She broke the kiss gently and whispered, "Tell me what I can do to stay here with you, how it can be like this always."

Lexa looked crushed by the request. So much so Clarke's couldn't take it. It tore at her soul. All she could do in response was caress Lexa's soft beautiful features.

Lexa visibly pulled herself together and whispered, "Clarke, what I'm about to tell is a lot to process it. I wholeheartedly believe it, but I will understand if you need time to take it all in.

Clarke nodded slowly, lips slightly parted, bracing herself.

Lexa looked deeply into her eyes and seemed to be waiting for the exact moment before whispering, "Clarke, this is not the first lifetime we've been lovers."

Clarke sucked in her bottom lip and replayed Lexa's sentence in her head twice over before nodding. Instinctively, she knew Lexa was right, though she could never have so easily accepted such a proclamation on earth, nor do so with such grace and ease. Ideas around reincarnation and soulmates were concepts far from her minds reach, though clearly they were quite logical in Lexa's mind, due to her lifelong spiritual teachings.

Lexa searched Clarke's face.

Clarke playfully raised an eyebrow in response.

Lexa smiled at the display and offered a sheepish grin.

Clarke wanted Lexa to read her mind as she imagined every detail and conjured an image of them growing old together in previous lives. Then it occurred to her that they had found each other again in this one and would find each other in many to come. Hands down, they were soulmates.

Lexa seemed to see in her minds-eye every image Clarke conjured. Clarke could tell just by the look on her face that Lexa shared the same thoughts and desires.

Gently she offered, "I think you're right, Lexa. If I weren't here with you right now, in this place of absolute beauty, after having watched you die less than twenty-four hours earlier, I might not believe it, but here and now, because of all of this, because I can touch you and love you so easily again, I do. I believe every word."

The look that flashed through and over Lexa's eyes and face were miraculous. Clarke could look into Lexa's eyes for a thousand lifetimes. When Lexa whispered there was one more thing, Clarke couldn't imagine anything could compare, but remained open. She watched as Lexa's lip quivered and her eyes welled with tears. Her voice cracked with emotional duress when she finally spoke. "It's about Aden."

"Aden?" Clarke inquired, surprised at the turn in conversation.

"Aden is connected to us as well, Clarke."

Clarke felt her breath hinge and made a gesture encouraging Lexa to continue.

The brunet cleared her throat and spoke clearly, but softly, "Aden was our biological son in a past life."

Clarke felt a flood of emotions run through her entire being. In her culture, conversations around children were political, not spiritual. On earth, everything was different. Spirituality was different. Silently, she took in the significance, caressing Lexa's hands as she did, basking in the sensation, and relishing the idea of the them as parents, together.

Once again, the two young lovers returned to their comfortable silence. Both had so much to consider. Running through Clarke's mind was the speech Lexa gave the night Wanheda spared Emerson's life. How their new blood must not have blood policy would help to create a world where their children could live outside the shadows, free from fear.

Suddenly waves of sadness coursed through Clarke's consciousness. She knew she had gained the power to read Lexa's mind and that it was her grief she was taking on.

Lexa was the one who had more time to process all she'd just shared with Clarke and Clarke knew what she wanted to ask, but wouldn't ask out of sheer resect. It was just like Lexa to allow Clarke time to come to her own conclusions, in her own way.

After a few minutes of wordless caresses, Clarke surrendered to the fact that she'd need to come up with a new plan. Though she didn't need to ask, she did, "Will you help me figure this out in a way that I can still be with you and protect our son?"

Lexa nodded and showed obvious relief. Then she said something that blew Clarke's mind. "I would be more than happy to help you formulate a plan, but I need it to include you having Titus carry by body 1.5 kilometers up stream as quickly as possible. Clarke felt her ears grow hot and knew her face had paled even though her spirit latched onto hope and energy coursed through her veins. Lexa continued softly, "There's a Witch there and she will know what to do. She's expecting me, well my body. She's expecting m body. The elders have just granted her a deeper level of insight, but please know it's still a long shot, Clarke. Not all things that happen on earth are known here, so I can't promise anything, which is why I want Titus to take me so that you won't have to live through another emotional upset like before. I can promise you this though, Clarke cum Skaicru, if this necromancer can work her magic, I will do my best to breathe again."

Clarke's body shook with elation. Wanheda's did as well. Stubbornly, she said, "Lexa, I will take you to her. I know now that I am truly both Clarke and Wanheda. I believe Wanheda will have a role to play."

Lexa pulled Clarke close, knowing she was right, proud of her for cleaning her birthright, and in a tone the blonde blue eyed Goddess had never heard before whispered, "Did you mean what you said earlier about loving me?"

Clarke pulled away quickly feeling quite surprised Lexa has to ask. With a soft glance and a gentle rasp she replied, "Yes, every bit of it. I wanted to tell you yesterday when you almost said it to me, but I knew it wasn't the right time for either of us, so I held back - something I've regretted ever since. I love you, Lexa, I think I have loved you since before Mount Weather, but I knew for certain the morning I sketched you sleeping in your room. I am deeply and wholeheartedly in love with you."

Lexa bit her bottom lip and inhaled slowly, tears filling her eyes once again. It was a display of beauty that melted Clarke's insides. The second she said, "I love you too, Clarke, so much it scares me, but in a way that doesn't weaken me. The love I have for you is more powerful than anything imaginable," Clarke knew they would find a way to stay together in this lifetime and not have to wait for another.