There was something about a seeing a man cry that was incredibly heart wrenching. Kim could somehow detach herself from the situation when other people cried, most of the time. In this job you saw people at their lowest possible point more often than not and if you let them get under your skin you wouldn't last long. However when it was someone you cared deeply about there was nowhere to hide.

Burgess looked away as Ruzek crouched over the body of their murdered colleague, Ross McCadden. His friend. His team were letting him know they were feeling his pain as they moved past him by placing a hand on his hunched shoulder. As the rest of the team walked into the victim's room Kim also rested her hand on his shoulder briefly. He felt the difference in the touch and without looking he knew it was her and he bowed his head a little more. He wanted to reach out and touch her hand, he wanted to feel her skin but he couldn't. Not here and not right now. Kim's heart was breaking. It broke for McCadden and his family and it broke for Adam, her boyfriend.

Even back in the squad room he was quiet as he withdrew into his own little world, putting the joker in him aside. Despite his tough exterior and clown like personality he felt things deeply, perhaps a little too much sometimes and it made it hard to focus on this case. He could feel it sucking the life out of him. Even the air in the room felt thick. There were too many people in here and they were using all the oxygen and he felt like there was nothing left over for him.

Her phone beeped just before midnight when Adam let her know that he had finished for the day. 'Just got home & I hope I dream about you.' It was normal for them to send each other a good night message if they had been working. Their work life was constantly throwing up challenges and they didn't get to spend as much time together as they wanted. Their late night texts were sometimes all they had and it was sometimes enough, but not today. He wanted to stop by her place, he didn't want to sleep alone but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was. It wasn't doubt because he had no doubts about her. He just felt raw.

Once they had honoured Ross McCadden's wife back at the district, Kim was hoping to see Adam at Molly's with the rest of the unit but he never showed. As Ross's wife and daughter left the District she saw his lip quiver, she saw the tears in his eyes and then he disappeared. It stung her just a little that he didn't want her help but they were still feeling each other out and she wasn't sure if the situation was reversed that she would be any different. Perhaps he didn't know how to ask her for help, perhaps he didn't know that he needed help. He was male after all.

Kim wasn't surprised that he wasn't there. Disappointed, yes but not surprised. The mood was sombre and it wasn't long before everyone made an excuse to leave. It was hard to celebrate a victory when the cost had been far too high. Someone had asked where Ruzek was. Kim didn't answer but Al did. "Ross was a good friend, He's taking it hard." He tilted his head slightly in Kim's direction. He knew.

"Hey" he muttered quietly as he stood aside to let her in before returning to the couch where he had been lying for the past few hours. "I thought you'd come by. Hoping actually."

"I just wanted to check you are ok?" she sat down next to him. Adam laid his head in her lap and grabbed her hand and rested on his chest, covering it with his own and running his fingers lightly over he back of her hand, slowly and gently. He found the rhytmn soothing. Kim ran her other hand through his hair. "Are you ok?"

"I will be." They sat in silence for a while; which generally would have been a challenge for Burgess but this felt right. She knew that poking his raw edges would make him shut down. He didn't like being pushed to open up so she chewed on her bottom lip and closed her eyes and waited.

Eventually he spoke. "Are you going to stay?"

"Would you like me too?"

"I would." He picked up her hand off his chest and pressed it to his lips.

"Of course I will stay." Adam rolled over so that he was now facing her and tucked a hand under his cheek. Kim ran a hand over his rough stubble. "You couldn't get rid of me it you tried."

It had been a steep learning curve for her when she started dating Adam. She noticed, quite easily when he was bothered by something. He would go quiet, retreat just a little bit and initially Kim had found it hard to keep her mouth shut and not push him to talk to her.

Adam found it hard to talk. He had never had to talk about his feelings because no one ever bothered to ask. That mask that he had worn through his childhood, that of the class clown had served him well. When his parent's split up he had hidden his pain behind the mask and the older he got the harder those walls became to penetrate but somehow Kim had found the light through the smallest crack in his wall and he had let her crawl through.

The clock ticked incessantly in the kitchen and the longer they stayed silent the louder it got. Kim shifted slightly and Adam's eyes flew open. He closed them again before starting to speak. "I really liked Ross and Jane. They were a great couple and I wish I had told him about you. I don't think I would have lasted more than a couple of weeks at the Academy if he hadn't pulled me aside and made me pull my head out of my ass. Jane told me that he had seen a little bit of himself in me and that's why he took the time. And she was great. I could always count on Jane for a home cooked meal and some good old fashioned common sense."

He paused, searching for Kim's hand and entwining it in his. "He teased me just last week that I must have been getting a bit because I was so damn happy lately, but of course I had to lie. He was having none of it. You would have loved them both and I know they would have loved you. Jane told me that whoever it was that was making me happy I should hang onto for dear life. And now this happens. I knew getting into this job, after watching my Dad go through this, that it was likely to happen to someone I knew, to a friend."

Kim didn't respond she just continued stroking his hair, knowing that it relaxed him. "He died trying to protect a fucked up guy, the worse type of guy. A paedophile. I fucking hated that case. I am glad we got them all, this time, but I fucking hated every minute of it."

She bent down and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "I know baby, but you kept going and those two kids are safe, and the next two kids. There is always going to be shit people in this world and we see the worst of them. Babe that's what gets us up everyday."

He knew all that. He knew that they would always come across the worst kind of people. That had to balance out somewhere. Jane and Ross McCadden tipped the balance back to the good and this woman sitting with him now, comforting him, there was more good in his life because she was in it. She got him and had gotten under his skin and he liked it. Right now she was just what he needed. He liked that, while he knew that Kim wanted to talk and tell him everything was going to be alright and that he needed to put it behind him she didn't. Wendy would have pushed him, Kim just pulled him closer and as they climbed into bed she held onto him and let him be.

The next morning Adam shook her gently and offered up the usual cup of coffee. "Good Morning Darlin". He had to laugh as she groaned and pulled the covers up over her shoulders. He just sat and watched her as she gradually woke up and reached out for the coffee. "It's time to get up. You have shift in an hour." He grinned. "Do you need to go home?"

"No, I brought clothes with me." Taking a mouthful of the coffee it brought her a little more to life. "Just need a shower."

"Need company?" Adam winked at her.

She took a big swig of her coffee and kicked off the sheets. "Make it quick."

Kim handed him the cup of coffee as she jumped out of bed. "Wow Burgess, such the romantic."

Calling over her shoulder as she headed for the bathroom. "I don't have time for romance."

Adam waited just a moment. Long enough to make her wonder if he was going to join her. Suddenly he opened the curtain and wrapped his arms around her waist as he stepped into the shower and rested his head on her shoulder. "Thanks for last night. You were exactly what I needed."

"Glad I could help. I was worried about you."

"I know and I liked it." He kissed her cheek. "It was a nice feeling. To know that you have someone that knows when you are struggling and needed a bit of TLC."

"Ah Ruzek, stop it. You are making my heart all a flutter and I have to be at work in 45 minutes."

He captured her lips in a searing kiss that left her weak at the knees.