I wrote the outline for this quite some time ago, which is the reason why it touches on a few themes I use in TCYDT. Here it's much more downplayed though. Katniss is a bit more "fluff-ish" at one point than I think is in-character for her but I figure it can balance out some of the angst in my other stories ;)
Two years ago I was as good as exiled to District 12 and I can't say it ever bothered me much to be forced to stay there. Twelve is still my home, for better or for worse, and I can't see how I would be any less miserable or happier in any other district. Even so it felt rather nice to receive an invitation from President Paylor to visit District 6 and partake in a three day conference that has been arranged to iron out some details on how Panem is going to be in the future. I don't care much about organization and I have precisely zero interest in contributing any own ideas but I like having the opportunity to overlook what is happening and voice my objections if I see anything that worries me. Peeta said it best when he said that it's comforting to know that decisions are being made openly and with room for objections and not secretly by a closed circle of people who can rule as they see fit.
Today is our second day in Six and we are staying in a large building that has recently been finished. It holds twenty-two separate apartments, all of them small and simple but just right for people of limited means who need a place to start out. Peeta's and my apartment consists of a kitchen about the size of the one we had in the house in the Seam, a bedroom holding little more than a bed, a dresser and a small television, and a bathroom. When we arrived yesterday we were first given keys to two separate rooms, since we're not married, but we both protested and got them house us in an apartment with a bed for two instead.
All afternoon yesterday we sat in on meetings and then we partook in a small and very informal dinner. Today there were meetings held until lunch but after that we were given the rest of the day off sine we chose not to sit in on the discussions on the fates of the few war criminals who have yet to be punished. Tomorrow there will be another full day of meetings, ending with a banquet of some sort. The day after tomorrow we can go back home.
I spent my free time today at the shooting range they have set up in a glade about twenty minutes away from where we are staying. I wasn't alone. Gale is here for the conference and took the afternoon off as well. He and I both went to the shooting range and had one of the most uncomfortable afternoons in recent memory. It's abundantly clear that the deep friendship we once shared has ended and we've grown apart. He doesn't seem to like me much anymore, much less love me. If anything we've mostly been annoyed with one another today. I can't come to terms with how aggressively he seems to view the world and he seems to find me weak.
It's a little over six in the afternoon and all I want to do is take a shower and then go down to the restaurant to have dinner. I'm sweaty and in a bad mood and I hope that I won't have to be social tonight. A quiet table for two, a quiet dinner, that is about all I can muster up the strength for.
The apartment is empty when I get there. I take a long, hot shower and put on some clean clothes. I'm not sure if I should wait for Peeta but it's past seven when I'm done in the bathroom and I'm starving. I wait another fifteen minutes and then I go downstairs to the restaurant and have my quiet dinner sitting by the bar. Nobody disturbs me and I'm very grateful for that.
After dinner I head to the ladies' room. I'm washing up in front of the large mirrors when two women I vaguely recognize from one of the meetings walk in. They look at me, share a look with each other and then come walking up. I hold back a sigh, hoping that whatever they want it will be brief and not too annoying.
They say hello, make some quick small talk about the meetings and the weather and then they share another look. Giggling like schoolgirls they then look at me expectantly.
"We heard you spent the day with Gale Hawthorne today" says one of them.
"For a while" I say, wondering where they're going with this.
"So..." says the other, giving me an expectant look. "Will there be any... reconnecting between the two of you?"
I give her a befuddled look. Her implication is clear as day.
"I'm with Peeta" I remind her. "Remember? Star-crossed lovers and all that?"
"Didn't they reveal that as fake while you were in Thirteen?" asks the second of the two women. "We were there. You two didn't exactly seem on good terms."
"For a reason" I say, not feeling the slightest bit inclined to explain mine and Peeta's relationship to the two of them. "That was a long time ago."
"Sure" nods the first of the women. "But, you know..."
"Know what?" I ask.
They share a look with each other, seeming a bit unsure now. Then they look back at me. I am quickly losing patience and interest and I reach for the soft cotton towels in a dispenser by the sink, aiming to dry my hands and leave, whether they are done talking to me or not.
"I guess we just... thought the thing with Peeta was for show and the real deal was you and Gale" one of the women finally says.
"How is it even any of your business?" I sigh, wiping my hands and throwing the towel in the trashcan. "Gale and I were friends. We're not even that anymore. Now if you'll excuse me."
"Touchy subject" I hear one of the women say on my way out.
"Bad time of the month" snorts the other.
I roll my eyes and resist the temptation of going back and snarling at them. They're not worth it. I'm rather irritated though, so instead of taking the elevator I take the stairs, running between floors to get to physical vent my state of mind. By the time I reach our floor I'm panting and my heart is pounding. At this point I'm definitely ready to call it a night and crawl under the covers.
I call out Peeta's name as I walk inside the apartment and can't help but smile a little when I hear him responding back. We haven't seen each other since lunch. There's something I really enjoy about one of us coming through the door at the end of the day and being greeted by the other. It reminds me of how my mother used to smile when she heard my father's footsteps approaching.
Kicking off my shoes and removing my cardigan I begin to relax, letting the awkward hours with Gale and the conversation with the two strangers wash off of me. I let the cardigan lie on the small, hard couch in the kitchen area and walk to the bedroom where I find Peeta sitting on the edge of the bed, unclasping his prosthetic.
"Hey you" I say, walking over to kiss his brow.
"Hey yourself" he answers. "Did you get anything to eat?"
"Yeah, you?"
He nods.
"We ate in the kitchen."
He spent the later part of the day in the large kitchen that belongs to the restaurant area, baking together with a few baker colleagues who work here. He told me this morning that they would be making cakes for the banquet. I requested the cakes he makes with pear-flavoured whipped cream and a chocolate coating but he chuckled and told me I would have to settle for something called a Pinocchio cake because it was easier to make in large enough quantities. He then described the cake in question to me and while it doesn't sound as delicious as pear and chocolate it still seems very interesting.
"How did the cake baking go?" I ask him as I walk over to the small vanity and pull the hairband from my braid.
"Made twenty large cakes" he answers. "For a gathering of fifty people. Less than ten cakes would have sufficed but who am I to argue with excess food?" He removes the prosthetic and lets it lie beside the bed. Sometimes he sleeps with it but oftentimes he feels it gets uncomfortable. "How was your day out in the woods?"
"It was okay" I say with little enthusiasm, untangling my braid with my fingers. "Gale was there."
"I know. Did you guys have a good time?"
There's something in his voice that surprises me a little. The slightest trace of an edge, something he doesn't normally have. I turn around and look at him carefully.
"Yeah, I suppose… So you know I was there with Gale?"
"Rumour travels fast around here" he says with a crooked grin that doesn't seem entirely genuine.
"There were rumours?"
He shrugs.
"People always seem to find the time for idle gossip."
"Yeah I know…" I say, thinking about the women in the bathroom. "I ran across a couple of twits who were real gossipy hens, right before I came back up here."
He nods and scoots a bit further up on the bed, unbuttoning his shirt with one hand. I study him carefully, wondering if he heard the same nonsense as those two women were spewing. I wouldn't think something like that would bother him but on the other hand we haven't yet been in a situation where jealousy could be an issue.
"What rumours did you hear?" I ask carefully.
"Nothing much. That you and Gale were off at the shooting range… reconnecting."
"I wouldn't call it that." I grab a hairbrush and run it through my hair, keeping my eyes on him. "Does it bother you? If I'm out there with Gale, I mean?"
"No" he says.
"You sure?"
"I'm sure, it doesn't bother me."
"Something else is bothering you, then."
He gives me a smile but I know him well enough to be able to tell that he's not as relaxed and content as he wants me to think he is.
"Katniss I don't mind you spending time with Gale. Really, I don't. I believe you love me and want to be with me and that you wouldn't do anything with him that…" He pauses and looks away, cringing for a second. "Okay I'm not entirely fine but it's not because you were in the woods with him."
"Then what is it?"
"I've been noticing that some people… look at me funny. People who saw me on TV when I attacked you on the Capitol streets and… Well, basically there are a few people here who seem to be nervous that I'll have another episode. And… I overheard a group of them talking about you and me, and you and Gale, and how… Well, basically how you would have been smarter to choose him."
"Peeta" I say with a frown, setting the comb down on the vanity.
"I know you love me. You've told me, not to mention shown me. I don't walk around harbouring doubts. You had ample opportunity to choose him before the war ended, before what happened to Prim, and you didn't."
"Well then what's the problem?"
He sighs heavily and runs a hand through his curly hair.
"I guess it just dawned on me that I'll never be able to escape it, you know? That image of me as a mutt. Also no matter how much I trust you it still hurts to hear strangers talk about how much better off you would be with the other guy you could have chosen."
"Peeta…" I say softly, walking over to the bed. Repeating his name I climb up in front of him and move so that I'm straddling him, my palms finding their way inside his unbuttoned shirt to rest on his chest. "Darling Peeta…" I say lovingly, in a tone I only ever think I've used with him. "My love."
He gives me a faint smile, his distress at what he overheard plainly written on his face yet seeming at least a little bit reassured.
"I know" he says gently. "I know… And I know that what those people think shouldn't matter at all."
"It bothers me, too" I tell him. "Knowing that they think that way about you… Even if it's only a few of them who think like that."
"I guess we can't fault them, though."
"They are wrong…" I say, my palms caressing his upper body slowly. "Even if I hadn't been able to be with you I wouldn't have chosen Gale. I knew that when I got out of the second arena. I knew it long before… before what happened to Prim. Maybe other people in Panem don't know it and cannot see it but they'll come to realize it in time. You are my love." I lean in and give him a soft kiss. I'm not usually this lovey-dovey but something about the situation makes me want to affirm my feelings for him, as if to prove that those people are wrong. "The one I chose. The one I will always choose. My beloved." I kiss him again and his arms wrap around me, making me feel good and loved and safe. "As for Gale, spending time with him today was quite uncomfortable. I would have preferred it if we hadn't been there at the same time."
"He was your best friend for a long time" says Peeta, his voice a touch gravelly. I grind against him a little and feel his body responding through the clothes that separate us. "I mean it when I say I trust you. I hate it, though, that people we don't even know think you should have made a different choice. I hate being judged by them." He draws a deep breath. "And I have to be perfectly honest with you, there are times when the doubts from the hijacking begin to resurface even though I know those are all lies. It's getting better, happening less and less often, but…"
While he talks I begin to pepper him with kisses and to slowly rock against him.
"I haven't given you reason to doubt me yet and I'm not going to" I say.
"I know. I know it's not fair but it's hard to fight it sometimes. Especially when I hear people talking here…"
"We'll just have to show them, I guess…" My lips press against his pulse point and he shivers. "Be a little extra cute and loving when we're out in public…" Another kiss along his jawline. His hands begin to caress my back. "Besides, if they think you're the wrong choice because you went crazy for a while then I say that makes you the right choice. I went pretty crazy too."
"You're not crazy" he mumbles against my lips, his breath hot on my mouth.
"Neither are you" I say, kissing him hotly. "You are my rock." As I say the last word I rock against him hard, for emphasis. He groans. "My stability." My hands find his cheeks and I kiss him again. "My love."
"My love" he mumbles back to me. His hands find their way inside my shirt and I sigh contently. "You're mine. Just like I'm yours."
"We're each other's."
Then he grabs a hold of me and with a yelp I find myself being spun around and lying on my back, Peeta on top of me. He doesn't use his wrestler moves in bed very often, especially not when his prosthetic is off, but I find it very arousing whenever he does. He stares into my eyes for a moment and I can tell there's still a trace of insecurity there. My hand reaches up and caresses his cheek and I hope the look in my eyes is enough to tell him that I want no one but him. Finally a smile appears on his face and he gives me a soft, tender kiss.
"We have ample time to convince people we are in love for real" he says. "We have all our lives to do that."
"We do" I nod, feeling a thrilling sensation run through me at the thought of so much time together. "In fact… We don't have to make an appearance at the banquet tomorrow. We could just stay here, in bed together…"
"It's just one night" says Peeta softly. "Being alone with you sounds perfect but we have any number of such nights and there won't be another chance to be at that banquet. Who knows, we might even have a good time?"
"We could have a better time in bed" I say suggestively, raising my eyebrows.
Peeta chuckles. Then he leans down and gives me a long, loving kiss, rocking his pelvis against mine.
"I wouldn't mind having a good time with you right now" he murmurs against my lips.
Afterward we lie wrapped in each other's arms, sharing a pillow, peace and tranquillity filling the room. My hand caresses Peeta's cheek and we smile at each other.
"You trust in my love for you" I say. "Real or not real?"
"If I say 'not real', will you prove your feelings for me again?" he jokes. He chuckles at my frown and pulls me closer. "Yes, Katniss, I do trust in your feelings for me. And as long as I have that I can put up with the looks and the whispers and the remarks."
"All the same," I say, "I'm staying glued to your hip at the banquet tomorrow. Anybody who dares say anything negative about my boyfriend will be not-so-gently reminded that I'm not a person you want to mess with."
He kisses my brow and I settle in his embrace, wrapping my arm across his chest, sighing contently as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
For those of you who are interested in the "baking Peeta" aspects, pinocchio cakes are fairly common in Sweden (and really delicious) but I don't know if they have an English language equivalent. If you're curious about it you can try googling "pinocchiotårta"!