For any other person, a day where the sun is shining bright and there isn't a single cloud to be found, and the temperature is perfect to the point where it's relaxing, it would make anyone happy. But for Karamatsu, it was just another day where he wanted to disappear or pretend that he didn't even exists.
After he decided against eating the breakfast his mother prepared, he threw it away and cleaned the plate before heading out. Karamatsu shoved his hands into the pocket of his sweater, sunglasses firmly on his face to hide the signs that he barely slept and the evidence that he had just cried alone at home. There weren't many places that he liked to go to get away from himself. Pachinko was really the only place that could take his mind off of things for a while, but the risk of running into one of his brothers was high considering that's where they all liked to spend their money. Karamatsu thought about going to a bar and getting drunk alone, but that was another place he could run into his brothers and it was barely noon.
Sighing, Karamatsu decided to go the bridge and stare at the river, the thing he did on most days. He looked up when he got to the bridge, walking down the sidewalk until he stopped and leaned over the railing, looking around to see if anyone was in sight. Seeing no one, he moved his sunglasses to the top of his head, resting his chin on his arms as he stared at the slow-moving water. There were times where Karamatsu would think about just jumping over the bridge into the water. Times where he thought if he drowned, he wouldn't be in pain anymore. But that idea vanished the day that Osomatsu scared him and he fell over, realizing the current wasn't strong enough to pull him under and the water was too deep for him to hit any big rocks.
"Karamatsu!" Osomatsu shouted from the end of the bridge, taking his time as he walked up to his brother. As soon as Karamatsu heard his voice, he quickly put his glasses back on, not wanting Osomatsu to see his eyes. "What are you doing here again, you're here practically everyday!" Osomatsu exclaimed. "Jeez, with all the things you could be doing, you choose to stand and stare at a river, how laaaaame." He chuckled softly, patting his brother on the shoulder. "You don't really seem to do much other than sleep, eat, stand here, and be painful."
Painful. The word that Karamatsu hated the most. The one he's heard enough in his life where the dictionary definition could be easily changed to just his name. And it killed him knowing that it's been said enough. He wanted to cry again. He wanted to scream at his brother to stop calling him painful; to tell him that he's had enough of the word. But he couldn't. Because it would only result in Osomatsu using the word even more, assuming that Karamatsu was just joking around like usual. Karamatsu smirked and laughed a bit, holding onto his own chin. "Ah, you've seemed to figure me out, brother. Is it possible that you care enough to spend time with me?" He knew what his answer would be, but just a little sign that Osomatsu cared about him, even if it was just an hour together, Karamatsu knew that it would make him genuinely happy. It would make him happy if any of his brothers wanted to hang out with him. Even just for a little while, it would show him that they cared.
Osomatsu started laughing, moving his arm away, rubbing under his nose for a moment. "I wouldn't even be able to last five minutes alone with you, Karamatsu. Without the others with me, I'm afraid you'd rub your painful aura onto me!" He chuckled, looking at his brother. "I just wanted to point out that you barely do anything and you should do something. Anyway, I'm going to find Choromatsu. I heard he's going to try to meet Nyaa-chan again and I wanna embarrass him like last time." With that, he walked to the other end of the bridge, out of sight.
Karamatsu hung his head, hands balled into fists by his sides. Why, he thought. Why do you keep calling me that. Why can't you see that it's hurting me? "WHY CAN'T YOU FOR ONCE TELL ME YOU CARE!" His eyes widened, realizing that last part was said out loud. People who were scattered around the sidewalks stopped and stared. Some whispered to each other things like "is the guy okay?" or "what's wrong with him?" Karamatsu looked around, his heart racing, knowing people were talking about him. Knowing they probably thought he was insane. And maybe he was. After all this time, he felt like his sanity had completely left. He gulped, not wanting strangers to see him cry.
Without a second thought, Karamatsu started running. He didn't know where he was going to go where he could get away, but he couldn't stop. Not now. Not where he could still be seen.