Disclaimer: Hell's Kitchen is a reality show produced by Chef (and former football player) Gordon Ramsay. Hetalia and all further anime adaptations are the work of Hidekaz Himaruya.

DAY SIX

"I never thought this day would come. I get to finally undo your blouse…"

Germany's face is a deep red. Redder than the red he gets from war. We really can't see anything else from this point onward because, even by Hetalia standards, some things are better left to mild and wild imaginations alike.

"Bare my soul, love..." Ukraine's voice can be heard. Some happy sniffles too.

DAY FIVE: AGAIN

The Baltic countries are behind Sweden, murmuring amongst themselves while Sweden waits for Ukraine's response.

"We need to solve this, quick. We can't turn this into the Real World. We can't turn this into anything that's not Hell's Kitchen…" says Estonia in a series of hushed whispers.

"If Ukraine finally leaves, can we get rid of Russia?" Latvia jumps, demanding attention. "It's the best thing that could happen to me right now."

Lithuania looks frantic. "We don't have time to worry about your size right now!"

"Exactly. We need to make this about cooking" Estonia whispers, serenity suddenly washing over him. They were getting somewhere. "Again."

Sweden's just said he needs to hear from someone else anyway. All the countries in the room are looking at each other. Eyes wide like saucers, they all start wondering how this ordeal will end.

"America, come to the front, please" comes Sweden's deadpan voice. "Why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?"

America's forehead is showing a few beads of sweat. The alien beside him reminds him it can't offer any kind of assistance. Despite his palpable frustration, America gathers his resolve. "I know I am the best chef here, Sweden. I just need time to prove myself to you."

Sweden just stares at him.

"I know my time will come. It'll be glorious. I promise it'll be so memorable, a movie will come out of this!"

Sweden sighs. "This is a cooking show, America. I need you to leave because I just can't have people refusing to cook what's been assigned to them…"

"No! Sweden, you must solve this Germany/Ukraine travesty first. Why do I get to leave when those two might elope?!"

For the first time, we get to see America angry. Not freaked out over his usual superstitions and gullible self, but angry at this injustice. The Baltic countries are nodding their heads. It might be the one and only time the countries involved get to see America's spark of true wisdom.

"America, I have a show to run. I know part of my devoted audience doesn't always agree with my decisions, but I can't risk disappointing them too much."

"BUT—"

"It stops here. America, everyone here needs to deal with vegetables. There's no such thing as a vegetable reform, if that's what you're thinking. Give me your jacket. Your time here is done."

Lip quivering, America hands over his jacket. He is walking towards the exit. The alien is accompanying him, patting America on the back.

"Now, you two" the camera is zooming in on Sweden "I have plans. You are not leaving yet. There are nine of you left and next time you will prove yourselves worthy of this competition. Germany, whatever world domination plans you have, put them aside for now. Prussia… I am watching you. Go to your rooms, all of you."

DAY SIX: AGAIN.

"Rise and shine, morning w—"

"PRUSSIA! Get out of my face! It's four…" Germany is now lying on his side. His face is red. Very red. Redder than the time Italy caught him too engrossed with the magazines he received on Christmas during their island episodes.

"You'll have more than enough time to think about Ukraine. But first, I need you to help me win."

"Why would I do that?" Germany retorts, still not facing Prussia.

"Italy is our biggest competition. Don't you see? Didn't you notice Italy the moment you said you wanted Ukraine instead? I've thought about it. You can't encourage him. He can't get brave all of a sudden and stop running away."

Germany turns around. While Italy's feelings of betrayal still ring true, at the end of the day, he was a decent cook and a lady killer. "What does any of this have to do with you winning?"

"It's simple. You let me get ahead, you get to keep your ally. Loneliness is a terrible, terrible thing for a drill sergeant invested in his cause, right? History can't change because of Italy."

Germany facepalms himself in frustration. "Yet you want me to try and change it because of the Ukraine… idiot…"

The gleam in Prussia's eyes grows brighter. "It benefits YOU, dumbass. I get what I want, you get what you want. Have you forgotten about world domination? What if you and I make NEW history? Help me quadruple my empire. We must show them!"

Prussia's knowing smile can only mean one thing… Bratwurst will finally be on the menu (in the most expected and unexpected ways).

SNIPPET: America stands outside Hell's Kitchen. This makes his leave official.
"England! I don't care what anybody thinks! Amityville was real! Amityville is a thousand times scarier than Enfield!"

STAY TUNED. MORE MADNESS AWAITS.