Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

This chapter is short, but things are going to take off from here…the turning point. Thanks so much for your interest in Shattered and Shrouded. I truly love each and every one of you.

Chapter 8 - Past

I couldn't imagine anyone forgetting someone as beautiful as Edward Masen. Yes, he had his moments of insanity, but who didn't?

As he leaned his face against my hand, he sighed and opened his eyes. I reached up with my other hand to cradle his face, and ran my thumbs along his cheekbones. As they drifted, they caught one tear that had escaped the green abyss I so desperately wanted to dive into, to see within his soul, to understand his pain.

"Don't cry," I whispered.

His eyes narrowed and he growled, "I'm not fucking crying."

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "You really don't know, do you?"

"I have no idea."

The way he looked at me tugged at my heart, as if he were trying to lift the blanket that shrouded my mind, open up my eyes to something vital. I wanted so desperately to know what was going on in his head.

"Tell me."

"I wish I could," he whispered, tracing my lips with his fingertip.

"You can trust me, you know."

He moved his hands up to cradle my face, so we were both holding each other's. Leaning in, his lips brushed up against mine ever so gently as he whispered, "I want to, but I don't know that I can."

"You can. I want you to trust me," I murmured.

Moving his lips up to kiss my forehead ever so gently, he whispered, "I know." Pulling back, his hands dropped from my face, and he turned away to gaze out the driver's side window for a long moment.

"Put on your seatbelt," he muttered as he put his key in the ignition and turned the car on.

As we drove off I mustered up the courage to ask, "Why do you care about my past? You don't even know me."

"Why do you care about mine?" He glanced at me.

"I'd like to know you," I admitted, looking at my hands as I played with my fingers.

"Well, I'd like to know you too. What a coincidence."

I looked up in time to see his small grin before it faded. I sighed looking out my window. "It's just so hard to let people in. You know?"

He chuckled darkly, "Yes, I do."

We drove several blocks and turned on a side street.

"Where are we going?"

He didn't respond, staring straight ahead, anxiety rolling off of him in hot waves, filling the car and making me nervous.

He continued driving.

"Are you alright, Edward?"

He huffed loudly. "No." Glancing sideways at me, he slowed the car to a stop on the side of the road. "I want to show you something, but I don't know how you'll feel about it."

"What is it?"

Leaning back, he rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes. "It's part of my past." His head dropped to the side, eyes opening to look at me. "Are you interested?"

"Very."

"Okay then. Look out your window."

I turned, and next to the car was a sign that read:

ESME'S HOME

A Place for Every Child

to love and be loved

"What is this?"

"This is my home."

Imagining Edward living anywhere but in a big beautiful house with two loving parents just didn't sit well with me. It was inconceivable. I looked at him and felt fear and doubt bubbling up inside of him.

"When did you live here?"

"Come, I'll explain." He got out and made his way around the car to open my door. Sometimes he could be such a gentleman, and I wondered briefly if, outside the office, he was just as civil to the other ladies.

He pulled me along the walkway up to a large white home with pillars reaching up three stories high. It reminded me of a plantation home with its windows adorning the front, the front porch stretching across the width of the home, and balconies along the second and third floor, the pillars reaching through each. Children were laughing boisterously and frolicking in the playground beside the home, adults in kakis and white shirts stood in various areas talking to and supervising the youngsters at play.

As I turned toward the house, an image came to view. My dream Edward was standing on the porch steps, tears running down his face, left fist at his side, right hand reaching out to me as he dropped his head.

I stopped walking. The vision faded, but it felt so real. The pain in my chest at the sight made me feel as if it really was me he was reaching out for.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

How could I explain to him I'd been having these strange dreams and visions since I'd started reading Ankit's story? Telling Edward I imagined him as Ankit would make me sound crazy, and at that point I probably was. But, I found the parallels between Ankit's life and Edward's a bit too coincidental.

"I…um…I'm just a little overwhelmed. So, you grew up here?"

"Not my entire childhood. I came here when I was ten and stayed until I was adopted." He grabbed my hand as we made our way up the steps. Walking through the front door, a strange feeling came over me. Again, I felt the déjà vu.

I seemed to know exactly what the place looked like before I entered, and when I did I was surprised to feel that things had changed.

"Edward?" I started to shake.

"Yes?"

"I've been here before." I turned to look up at him.

His brow furrowed. "Are you sure?"

"Not positively, but..." I glanced around, noting things out of place. Too many things were out of place. It could just be a coincidence, maybe another time and place that was just way too similar to this one. "I think this building just reminds me of something from my past. I've probably never been here."

A kind, motherly voice called out from my left. "Isabella?"

I turned to see a beautiful brunette with a warm smile walk through a doorway. She wrapped me in her arms just as Edward shot a warning glance at her. She backed away instantly.

Edward cleared his throat. "Um…Bella, this is my mother, Esme…Esme, this is Bella."

"Oh, sorry hon." She smiled at me. "Edward has told me so much about you, I feel as if I know you already."

"Really?" I looked up to find Edward looking nervously at his mother. "I've only known him a few days. I'm hardly anything to talk about."

Esme's forehead crinkled and she gave a nervous laugh before wrapping her arm around mine and leading me through the doorway. "Come, I have something to show you."

She took me through a large room where children were reading, up a staircase, and out one of the balconies. At one end were a table and two chairs. I followed her to the table and sat down.

"Here." She pushed a book toward me.

"What's this?"

"Isabella, in my business we come across children of all ages who've lost their parents in some form or fashion. Either they died, gave them up, or cannot support them. I make it a point to find out everything I can about each and every child. I have resources, my dear."

"So…this book…"

"Is your past."

"No!" I jumped out of the seat, knocking it to the floor. "I don't want it! I don't want any of it!"

I ran past Edward, down the stairs and out the front door. Edward's Porsche sat along the road, but I didn't want to leave with him. I couldn't understand why he would do this to me, why he would make me feel cornered into remembering my past. My feet pushed me forward, and I flew around the house, down a dirt path and into the trees. I kept running, and I wasn't sure where I was going, but I let my legs lead me until I could run no longer. I leaned against a tree, gasping for air, and slid to the ground, the rough bark grating against my back in the process. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I leaned my head against them and sobbed.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, but the sound of twigs and leaves crunching warned me of someone's arrival. I quieted my sobs, feeling a pull on my heart. I didn't have to look up to see that it would be Edward that had followed me, because I could feel him. I'd never felt a need for him, because I didn't really know him, but deep within my heart I wanted his comfort.

He slid down beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I brought you here to show you my past. I had no idea Esme was going to spring that on you. Had I known, I would never have brought you here."

I lifted my head and grinned. His face blurred behind my tears. Somehow, with all that happened, it felt good to have him next to me.

He reached over and wiped my face with his fingers. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I…I've been running from my past for so long. When I lost my memory, doctors and people who said they were friends tried to get me to go home, to look through my things and find my past, but I couldn't." I turned to look through the trees. "I had a friend of mine pack up my things and place them in storage. I haven't looked back since. I figured I could start all over. No memories, no pain…you know?"

When I looked up at him, he appeared wounded. "How do you know you weren't leaving something good behind?"

"Edward," I took a deep breath, finally deciding to let him in just a bit, "I was beaten…left for dead. Whatever led up to that couldn't have been good. My parents are dead, I have no family left. You tell me, what is there I could possibly want to know?"

He looked down at my hand as he grabbed it, playing with my fingers. "You may not have family, but how do you know there wasn't someone out there who loved you, who missed you?"

"That's crazy. I would've remembered that."

Slowly, he turned his head to look into my eyes. "Are you sure?"

I wasn't. I couldn't look at him anymore. Pulling my hand from his, I wrapped my arms around my torso and buckled over. "I don't know," I breathed, "I don't know shit anymore."

He leaned back against the tree and sighed heavily. "Me neither. But I'll tell you this, with all the bullshit I've gone through in my sorry ass life, there are things I would never want to forget. Those are the things that override all the fucked up shit I've had to live through. Memories…it's all I have left."

I didn't have a response for that. I could see the logic in it. Maybe there was a thing or two I'd forgotten that was worth remembering, good things, but I was too scared to go through all the other shit to find out.

Scanning the trees, I felt the déjà vu once again. Something was bothering me about this place. When I looked at Edward, he was relaxed against the tree with his eyes closed. I watched as his chest rose and fell with each breath he took, and I wanted so badly to touch him. Drawn like a magnetic force, I pulled myself to my knees before him, losing all control of my actions as my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. His eyes shot open as my face molded against his in a deep, desperate kiss. His lips complied, opening to welcome my tongue. Running my fingers through his hair, I fisted his tresses and he groaned into my mouth.

I knew I was doing this because I wanted to feel something, anything, but I also knew I wanted Edward. There was a need deep inside of me that had to be filled, and I wanted only him to fill it, somehow knowing he was the only one that would be able to.

Edward twisted, gently lowering me to the ground, hovering over me. Our kiss grew in intensity, pulling me into him in a way I'd never thought possible. We continued, lips molding, tongues dancing, until I had to pull away to gasp for air. When I did, his lips continued their course along my jaw, down my neck.

My hands trailed down his back, pulling at the hem of his shirt until he complied with my request, his lips leaving my neck to pull his shirt over his head. He stared down at me for a long moment as I took in his sculptured chest and abs. I had to touch him, and as my hands met his skin he groaned. I ran my fingers along his stomach, making a path up his chest, curling into his chest hair.

When I licked my bottom lip, he attacked my mouth in a frantic kiss. His hands moved about my body, feeling every curve until they reached my chest. He cupped my breast with his right hand, feeling my hardened nipple through the material. I moaned against his lips and he thrust his hips into me, showing me what I was doing to him. Internally, I grinned, my inner Bella doing a happy dance.

Ever so slowly, his fingers unbuttoned my shirt, sliding it open to give him access to my goodies. His mouth never leaving mine, he traced my stomach with his fingers, slowly easing them up and over my breast, sliding them under the material, skillfully tugging at my nipple, making me groan into his mouth.

I arched my back with the sensation and he reached his other hand around me to unclip my bra, sliding it down effortlessly. He pulled back and took in my bare chest, gasping and panting.

"You're fucking beautiful," he murmured.

Before I could form a response, his lips found my mounts, kissing their way to the summit, tugging and pulling at the tips as I moaned, my body quivering under his. Through it all, I could feel his hands trembling against me, and I wondered why.

I pushed him up to ask him, but when I did he changed, the young Edward from my dream was staring down at me, his youthful eyes full of love and confidence.

My lips opened, and the words came of their own accord. "Eddie Bear?"

He gasped, "Marie!"