It was one thing to understand, but accepting it wholeheartedly is a very difficult task.

Yes, Ran told Conan that she understood the reason behind his actions, that he never meant to hurt her and that he kept the truth from her with the purest of intentions in mind but she can't help but feel like an idiot whenever she remembered how she acted before she confronted the shrunken high school detective.

'Ignorance really is bliss.' Ran thought bitterly. 'But I can't be an idiot forever.'

She thought she was over it—that after the stunt that she had pulled with Conan, her understanding would be accompanied by blind acceptance.

But she was proved wrong. That phonecall with Heiji Hattori has forced some of the feelings that she has been desperately sealing off out in the open.

The feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt and confusion.

Other people had known about Shinichi's case before her? Shinichi was able to tell other people about his problem? How many more people were involved in this? Was she unworthy of his trust? Did he really love her or...?

Stop.

She can't let herself be consumed by ill-driven thoughts.

Ran knows that what Shinichi needs now is her support and she can't let herself become selfish by letting some stupid and irrational feelings overcome her that might drive her love away.

Didn't she tell herself that if she was going to make Shinichi confess, it was because she had decided to be his pillar of strength, not to condemn him?

She knew that Shinichi trusts her with all of his heart since he confessed to her before that the one that he's not able to trust was himself. It broke her heart into pieces when she realized that her brave and courageous Shinichi has been reduced into a scared and overly cautious'child'.

Her best friend's life was ruined and he was struggling to survive yet she was only thinking of her own troubles.

No.

That's not fair to Shinichi.

So that night, she locked the door to her bedroom ignoring Conan's persistent knocks and pretended to fall sleep as an excuse to miss their nightly meeting. She truly can't face her boyfriend in an unstable, sorry state. He didn't need to know that she harbours such shameful feelings deep inside her heart. Instead, she just silently cried her heart out, wishing that the unwanted feelings would vanish when the night's over and that her heart would lock her deepest, darkest secrets once again.

But at the same moment, she didn't know that someone was listening at her painful woes behind her bedroom door with a face full of regret and sadness.

"Ne, Ran-neechan?"

"Yes, Conan-kun?"

"Did you cry last night?"

A pause.

Then a smile.

"No, Conan-kun. I didn't."

"Okay..."

He squeezed Ran's hand.

Ran's luck has gotten the Mouri household free dinner in an expensive Italian restaurant via raffle in the supermarket that day.

Conan dryly laughed. 'As expected. Her luck is inexhaustible.'

So now, Ran was helping him with his tie and the poor boy can't help but become overly conscious with the proximity of the beautiful girl from his face.

Ran was wearing a pink turtle neck dress under a white coat that will protect her against the harsh cold winds of the night. Her hair was loose and she didn't wear any cosmetics aside from a strawberry-flavored lipgloss.

'No makeup can enhance Ran's already beautiful face anyway.'

"Did you really have to help me with this?" Conan whined to mask the true reason for his redness.

Ran properly tightened Conan's tie and patted his chest signalling that she was done with her task. "But Conan-kun, if we don't keep this up, someone's bound to notice, right?"

'She's right...'

"But Ran-neechan—"

"No buts!" Ran smirked. "And well, you're just so fun to tease soooo..."

"Raaaannnnnnnn!"

Ran kissed the whining boy's cheek and grabbed his hand. "Come on, Conan-kun. Let's check on Otou-san, shall we?"

"Wait, Ran-neechan!"

"Did you forget something, Conan-kun?"

"U-Uhm kind of. Since you're closer, can you please get it for me, Ran-neechan? It's in the front pocket of my schoolbag."

"E-Eh? Sure, no problem." Ran grabbed his bag which was placed at the end of where Conan's futon should be and checked inside for the thing that Conan forgot. Ran wasn't expecting anything but when she found a small, rectangular velvet box wrapped in a piece of white satin ribbon, she didn't know what to think. Though Ran was hoping that she was able to suppress the blush that was caused by her silly thoughts.

'Is this—!? But the box is rectangular so I doubt it. And it's Conan's, not mine so don't get so excited, Ran...' Ran smiled nervously and presented the item to Conan. "I-Is this what you're looking for, Conan-kun?"

Conan nodded with enthusiasm. "Open it!"

"E-eh!? This is a gift for someone, right? So I'm not supposed to—"

Conan rolled his eyes. "Ran, it's for you. Who else would it be for?"

"F-for me...?" Ran blinked.

'Of course, barou. As if I'd buy things like that for other people.'

"Yes! Shinichi-niichan told me to give you that as a surprise. Open it!"

"A-ah, alright alright, I'm opening it now." Pulling the ribbon and letting it fall onto the floor, Ran opened the velvet box which revealed a set of sparkling earrings.

The earrings were shaped as a flower— an orchid of course, derived from her name— and it was studded with purple crystals which made the accessory appealing to the eye.

And Ran was in love with it.

"Shinichi..."

Conan smiled. "Shinichi-niichan said that he knows that you will get the meaning of those earrings, Ran-neechan. You're good with flower meanings, right?"

Ran shyly nodded. "Respect and admiration..."

"He also said that he's giving it to you as a symbol of his promise..."

"Promise?"

"That he will definitely come back to you no matter what. That even though he can't take care of you properly now, he will make it up to you when he comes back." A pause. "So for the meantime, I'm going to be your prince, Ran-neechan! I'll take care of you!"

'Shinichi...'

"Aww come here, Conan-kun!" Ran hugged the poor flustered boy while she tried to prevent her tears from falling down. "You're really the sweetest!"

"Ran...neechan... can't...b-breathe—"

"Sorry, sorry. I was just so happy." She loosened the hug. "Okay, I'll just put these on for a bit and then we'll fetch Otou-san downstairs, alright?"

"Okay, Ran-neechan!"

When Ran was finished, Conan was not able to decide whether it was Ran's earrings or her smile that shone better in his eyes.

By some stroke of luck, no murder case has happened while Kogoro, Ran and Conan were having dinner at Ristorante Italianni. They were already heading home so they called a taxi to bring them back home.

"Ahhhh, that was a great meal." Kogoro burped while rubbing his belly. He ignored Ran's lecture about being improper in public places.

"Yeah! Ran-neechan was really lucky to get them for free!"

Ran giggled. "Let's go back next time, then."

"Okay!"

"Oi oi, I'm not paying for that, you hear!?"

"Hai, hai Otou-san. Whatever you say." Ran suddenly touched her chin in thought. "But huh, I feel strange. Did you guys get some charm or something?" Ran asked her two companions with a tilt of the head but obviously it was directed towards the shrunken detective who was very much aware of the girl's insinuation.

Kogoro raised his eyebrow. "Charm?"

"Mm! Usually when we go to places like these a case suddenly pops up, right?"

'Oi Ran, don't jinx it...' Conan laughed nervously.

"Aha! Maybe the culprit got scared because they knew that the Great Detective Mouri Kogoro was present! My presence alone was able to thwart the culprit's evil plans for tonight so that means I saved the day!" Ran and Conan stared flatly at each other before shrugging their guardian off.

'Let's just ignore him, shall we?'

'That's always the best idea, Ran.'

The teenagers, one adult-sized and one kid-sized, sighed in resignation and droned out the voice of their bragging meitantei. They were in the backseat of the taxi so it was easy to ignore the old man who claimed the seat beside the driver's.

"Ran-neechan?" Conan whispered.

Ran smiled and touched his hand. "What is it, Conan-kun?"

Ran noticed the boy's sudden nervousness and she felt that the hand she was holding was sweating despite the cool air blown by the car's airconditioner. After a few moments, the teenager-turned-kid finally replied. "...Can we talk later?"

Ran titled her head. "Hmm? Sure!"

"Can you promise me that?" Ran widened her eyes at Conan's strange question. "Because you have been ignoring my knocks since a few days ago..." Ran averted her eyes from Conan and then he knew that he finally hit the target. "So maybe it's about that again so maybe we could... talk it out?"

'That, eh? Of course, he would figure it out...'

The girl felt like she just swallowed a hard rock. She squeezed Conan's hand and tried to smile before answering nervously. "Okay, Conan-kun. We can talk whenever you want."

"Okay, Ran-neechan. Thank you." Conan smiled at the troubled girl.

Then he yawned.

"Ara, sleepy already Conan-kun?"

"A bit, Ran-neechan." He lifted his eyeglasses for a bit to rub his eyes and placed it back. "Ran-neechan..." Conan hesitated for a second before continuing. "Can I lean on you?"

"Hmmm?"

"I kinda feel sleepy and since there's heavy traffic now which will make our trip longer, I thought maybe I could have a little nap?"

For some reason, Ran knew that he was not just about taking a nap so her eyes softened at the boy and smiled brightly. "Of course, Conan-kun. You can always lean on me."

And in Conan's case, he also knew that she wasn't just talking about his nap either.

"You're always so kind, Ran-neechan. Thank you." The shrunken detective kissed Ran's cheek before settling down to her side. Ran touched the cheek where her love's lips have touched and stared fondly at Conan— Shinichi.

"You're always welcome, my Meitantei."

Despite Kogoro's loud rambling— oh the poor taxi driver's ears – the two childhood friends turned lovers slept soundly until they were woken up by Kogoro when they finally arrived at the Detective Agency.

"Geez, still drinking this late at night..."

Conan laughed dryly. 'That's Occhan for you...'

After changing out of their clothes, Ran and Conan went down to the Agency to check on Kogoro who was watching his beloved Yoko Okino's late rerun of her drama. As expected, they found an intoxicated Kogoro who was dead asleep in his office. Ran sighed miserably at the mess that she has to clean up again.

"Mou! It's always like this!" Ran turned the television off then grabbed Kogoro's collar and shook him awake. "Otou-san! Go upstairs and sleep already!"

But Ran only got some incoherent noises and a 'Yoko-chwaaaannn~' from her inebriated father.

Conan sweatdropped as he saw Ran drag her father to the door then threw the drunken man outside.

"If you don't go upstairs now, I'm not sure where my fist will land, Otou-san..." Ran smiled darkly which immediately sent her father running towards their apartment.

'Scary...'

The girl stepped back into the Agency and found Conan already picking up the beer cans that littered around the office.

Ran frowned. "Geez. This is why Okaa-san isn't coming back home. He really needs to get himself together..." She got the broom and washcloth to start cleaning, too.

'Occhan is really dependent on Ran. I wonder who really the pillar of this family is..."

Conan laughed dryly once again.

After the Agency has been cleaned and locked, the two went upstairs to finally have their long-awaited rest for the day.

...That is, if this was a normal day. Instead of heading to Kogoro's room, Conan pulled Ran into her room and locked the door. The girl sat down on her bed while the small boy remained standing in front of her.

Conan—Shinichi broke the silence.

"You really think I won't hear your cries at night? That I won't figure it out?"

"..."

They were finally alone in Ran's bedroom to talk but the girl seemed to be ignoring him as she was busy staring at the window.

"Ran..."

"..."

"Ran." Shinichi took her hand. "It's okay to admit that you still feel betrayed for what I did."

Ran whirled her head around towards her best friend. "No, it's—!"

"You think it's unfair to me for you to feel that way—That you should understand and accept what I did because it was for you and the greater good. That you should support me all throughout because I was the one who got the short end of the stick." He squeezed Ran's hand then whispered. "Is that it...?"

Ran was speechless. Honestly, she wanted to tell Shinichi about her feelings but she didn't know how to do so without making him feel bad. She didn't want Shinichi to be guilty of something he was not in control of. But it seems that nothing escapes the prodigy detective named Shinichi Kudo.

"Honestly, Ran. It's a habit of yours to keep these important feelings to yourself." Shinichi smiled. "But Ran, your feelings are valid. Don't ever think that it's not. You should never, ever keep them from me even though it will hurt so the truth will always set you free no matter what."

"S-Shinichi..." Ran's eyes were getting damp. "I..."

Shinichi's eyes softened at the sight. "Go on, I will wait for you."

Her tears fell.

"Waiting is such a painful thing you know?" A single sob. "I was given an assurance— that you will come back to me. I know, I know that I don't really mind waiting but it was just so sudden...

I don't really mind waiting. I really don't. After all, when someone you haven't seen for a long time returns, the reunion is sweeter, right? But when I realized that you were just beside me all this time, I felt like an idiot. I should have persisted when I first suspected you. I caught you off-guard many times, right?

Yet I was so stupid to reject the possibility that you were..." Ran choked a laugh. "I sometimes wished that I was a great detective like you but it's just not in my character, ne?"

As Ran was talking, Shinichi never let go of her hand.

"Barou. You are not stupid. And you could if you try, you know? Don't ever forget that you drove me into a corner recently." Shinichi smirked.

He got a playful smack in the head.

"I really felt lost, you know? I was hesitating whether to do that or not because I wasn't sure that you'd want me in. You never really wanted me to butt into your cases, right? To be honest, I did not know where I stood in your life.

But then I realized that I'm probably not the only one hurting. Because you became like that, you probably felt disoriented, helpless and alone. No one can help you or else they would be in terrible danger because of their connection to you and you can't handle the guilt of being held responsible for their deaths. And you seeing me sad because of Shinichi was just making you feel worse since you can't do anything to ease the pain. I thought that it was getting too much for you, so I selfishly decided to end the facade between us once and for all, hoping to lighten your burden..." Ran took a deep breath before continuing. "I thought I was ready, you know? I've been preparing myself for that confrontation by burying my shameful feelings deep into my heart but that call from Hattori-kun made my resolve to keep a lid on my feelings falter. I realized that I never prepared myself for that situation— that other people knew who you are before me."

Shinichi looked away guiltily.

"It's stupid, right? I know I already implied that I already knew about that but actually facing the situation was a different case." Ran bitterly laughed. "It's really hard to admit but I guess I just didn't want to be out of the loop when it comes to you. We've been together since we were in pre-school and I know every quirk and habit that you have. So to be thrown suddenly out was... strange to me. It felt like I was in a limbo. It bothered me so much that other people actually knew yet I, your childhood friend who's been with you for a long time, have been completely clueless about your situation. I didn't know what to make of it so I just shoved these feelings deep down because I know that there was a legitimate reason for all of that. I know... I know yet... I can't help but feel neglected and abandoned?

Or maybe it was just the loneliness in me that was making me a wreck. I don't even know myself... I'm sorry, Shinichi, for being a selfish person..."

Ran felt Shinichi's other hand on her cheek. "It must have been very hard on you then."

Ran's eyes widened in a fraction of a second then turned her gaze away from the wistfully smiling Shinichi. "Compared to what you've experienced, this is nothing."

"No, Ran. The severity of the problem is not important. Well, it is but not on this case. The most important thing is the effect of that problem to you. It's making you suffer so you need to let it out." Shinichi smiled sadly. "I'm sorry that I made you doubt about where you stood in my life."

"..."

"You were always been a fixture in my life, Ran. When I first met you, your smiling face made my heart tremble. As we grew up, we were always doing almost everything together. When we stumble into cases, we always stick together. I guess I need to apologize for the stint I had pulled when we were in grade school." Shinichi admitted sheepishly.

Ran knew exactly what he was talking about. That was when Shinichi told her that they should call each other by last names because they were not children anymore and they would probably be teased by their classmates if they did not stop. To be honest, Ran did not see the point in it but it hurt her so much since she felt that Shinichi's distancing himself from her. But thanks to the code that the mysterious man left in the library, they were able to have an adventure to become closer again.

"You've always been the most important person in my life ever since we met, Ran. I understand that my actions were unfair to you but if keeping you away from me will keep you alive then I will take that chance. I am not glorifying my actions, Ran. It was not the most appealing choice that I have made and you are welcome to have negative feelings for me after what I did. I won't hold it against you. It is a fact that I hurt you and made you doubt our friendship— making you cry alone at night." Ran flinched at this statement. "So imagine my surprise when you perfectly cornered me and then you decided to act like nothing has happened in the end. It was really unexpected that you forgave me immediately without erm... making me your punching bag."

Ran snorted. "I really don't want a surprise visit from child services one day, Shinichi."

Shinichi sweatdropped but immediately composed himself back to continue his speech. "We are just human, Ran. What separates us from other beings is the level of intelligence that we were equipped with due to evolution. Also, our brain is able to produce chemicals that will result to feelings. So your feelings are just a reaction to what I did, which was unjust on your side. You shouldn't be ashamed of it. I did what I did because of my feelings for you and I'm not ashamed of it— although it still pains me to know that I am still causing you grief and insecurity. If our situations were reversed and you were the one who was poisoned, I will also not stop until I find out the truth— I'd probably do worse than you did.

We both understand our intentions behind our moves so the best course of action to take is... to just be ourselves. No lies. No secrets. Not anymore. Now that we can talk like this off the phone, we can properly convey our feelings to one another, right?"

Ran nodded slowly.

"We can't probably go back the way we were before but what we have now is a start of something better, I believe." Shinichi smiled.

"But isn't it sad? We both understand the reasons behind our actions but I can't help but think that there's already a crack somewhere here." Ran clutched her chest. "Are we going to be okay?"

Shinichi chuckled making Ran feel puzzled. "Barou."

"Eh?"

"Do you know Ran? There's a method of repairing century-old pottery called kintsugi meaning 'golden joinery'. It uses a special type of lacquer dusted with gold, silver or platinum making the end result more unique and beautiful than the original appearance of the pottery." Shinichi smiled warmly at the curious girl.

"I would like to compare our relationship to that. Even though we are in constant times of trouble, we always find a way to be better, right? And this... what this lie did to us was no joke. We were both changed by this unfortunate circumstance; You learned how to live without my constant presence and I learned how to be dependent on people. Maybe we needed this for us to grow as individual people. But now that we are on equal footing again, we can work together to repair our cracked bonds. Since we are the improved versions of our past selves— although please excuse my current appearance— I think we'll be okay, Ran. It will take time, but we will. As I've said before, we can't go back before this all happened but we have the power to choose what we will be in the future. And you told me that you only wanted to be by my side no matter what, right? That's the same for me and don't you ever forget that. Did you know that I declined my father's offer for me to start a new life with them in America when they found out about what happened to me? It's because I didn't want to leave the one I wanted to be with alone."

"Shinichi..."

Shinichi kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry that we kept the truth from you back then but I love you so much and I'll never let you go.W-well unless you changed your mind..."

Ran shook her head furiously. "I only want you so I won't let go either!"

"G-good..." They both flushed. "Now, let's wipe your tears properly now eh? Wait, I'll get you a handkerchief." Conan stood up and went to Ran's dresser to get one. He was startled at Ran's sudden exclamation though.

"Yosh! I think I know what I'll do when you get your body back."

'Why do I have a bad feeling about this?'

"And what will it be, Ran?"

"I'll make you my punching bag in one of my practices!" Ran chirped.

'Aha..haha. As I've thought...'

Shinichi closed his eyes and sighed in defeat. She deserves it anyway. "Hai, hai. Whatever you want, Miss Karate Champion."

Ran grinned. "But for now, I think we both need a hug."

"That, I definitely agree."

Ran picked the miniature-sized Shinichi up and hugged him tightly.

"Ran?"

"Hmm...?"

"Will you hear me out once again?"

"What is it?"

"I think it's time for you to know the details of what really happened to me."

The girl gasped then whispered. "A-Are you sure...? Y-You don't really need to until it's over, you know? A-Am I forcing you again?"

The boy just chuckled. "Barou. No one's forcing anyone. It's my own free will so don't worry about it, okay? Also, no lies and secrets anymore, remember? But I must apologize in advance because this might cost you your sleep."

"I can sleep during class."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Mouri-san's being brave today, eh?" Shinichi smirked.

Ran pouted. "Oh shut up or I won't hear your explanations...

"Hai, hai." Shinichi pulled away from the embrace and settled himself beside Ran. "But I want to make a request."

"Hmm?"

"Please hear me out until the end."

"Baka, I'm wasting my precious sleep anyway so why not listen to you until the end?"

'Yep, sleep is more important to her than I... Unfortunately.'

Shinichi cleared his throat and stared flatly at Ran. "Okay since I'm wasting your precious time, I better get started. Remember, Ran. What I'm going to tell you is a top secret. I know you're already aware of the consequences of just knowing this story but I'm telling you again anyway. Promise me that you will always take care of yourself."

Ran nodded. "I promise, Shinichi."

"Good. So it started on the day we went to Tropical Land..."

It was morning.

Ran opened her eyes and realized that both she and Conan fell asleep in her bed. Glancing at the young face of her beloved, she recalled the things that he had revealed to her hours ago.

'So Agasa-hakase, Hattori-kun, Ai-chan, and Eisuke-kun knew, eh? And Ai-chan... I can't believe that those things happened to her." Ran frowned. "Shinichi's doing his best fighting the Black Organization so I'll try hard not to let these people know that I already know so that I won't get in their way. That was my plan from the very start but I need to be more cautious around those people— save for Eisuke-kun since he's already in America.

I was glad that Shinichi pushed for us to have this conversation. I almost thought that this will break us apart but... kintsugi, eh? Repairing with gold to make something more unique and beautiful than before?' Ran chuckled. 'It's just so him to know such weird facts.'

Ran stealthily got up from the bed and then covered Conan properly with a blanket. After dropping a kiss on his forehead, Ran proceeded to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

"Remember, you can always lean on me, Shinichi."

Conan groaned before opening his eyes. He noticed that instead of a futon, he was sleeping on a bed— Ran's bed.

He bolted out of bed in realization.

'Shit, I fell asleep here!' He glanced around the room and noticed that Ran was already gone. He sighed and picked his eyeglasses up from the table. Underneath his glasses, was a note.

S,

Thank you for telling me. Don't worry, nothing will change except that we'll be stronger than before.

Love, Ran.

Conan smiled and pocketed the note. He needed to burn it later in order to get rid of the evidence.

'I promise to make it up to you, Ran. I'll do my best to solve this case so that we'll be finally together as Shinichi and Ran.'

Conan decided to go directly to the living room instead of Kogoro's room. If Kogoro found him sneaking into the room, who knows what he'll do to him.

"Ohayo, Ran-neechan!"

"Ohayo, Conan-kun!"

And then they both yawned.

Silence.

Then the giggles started.

They both knew that they were going to be screwed at school today for sleeping during class but it doesn't matter since their hearts are finally at peace with one another.

Nothing can break them anymore.

I totally did not plan on having such feelsy chapter in this fic haha! But I thought, what will Ran do with her feelings? OFC she felt betrayed by what Shinichi did. I mean, hello. He had lots of chances to tell her the truth yet he didn't. But since Ran is very understanding plus the fact that she has seen a lot of cases and heard a lot of motives from criminals, she thought that she would become an understanding person because not confronting the person in question then taking a harsh action might make her regret her actions deeply. And she didn't really want to hurt the person that she loves so yeah, she keeps it all in.

And here goes Shinichi, helping her realize that it's okay to have such feelings etc. I kinda used Shinichi to make Ran realize that while keeping it all in will lessen the number of people getting hurt, it's ruining her own self so she needs to let go of it. Then take actions to repair what was broken plus take responsibility for it.

So ye, I did this out of place chapter omg i'm sorry. I just wanted Ran and Conan to really talk it out because you can't really have a relationship built with lies and secrets. They both understand yet it doesn't really mean that everything's a-okay. It happens in real life, right? It's like "I understand the reasons why you hate this person but hate is such a strong word..." AND MURDER CASES GUYS. The motives are basically useless because the guy is dead. you can't bring 'em back. It's permanent. Like a store with a 'no return, no exchange' policy.

I hope you guys got what I was implying in this chapter haha. So after this, Ran and Conan/Shinichi are going to prank everyone HAHA I'M KIDDING. Ran feels a lot better now and Shinichi is also trying his best to adjust to Ran so they're gonna be chill with one another and have fun pretending around others.

Thanks for reading!

...even though I probably look like I dunno what I'm doing haha!

Up next is probably the Ice cream date with some twists ofc.