Two weeks between chapters now, most likely, since chapters are so long. (Have I mentioned how long these chapter are before? I mean damn. They used to be half this much, or even less.) Though I'll still try for every Saturday.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of JKR's fabulous characters, or Team StarKid's fabulous musical.
ACT 1
SCENE 2 – THE BURROW
NARRATOR: Lights up on The Burrow.
(MOLLY WEASLEY enters in a huff.)
MOLLY: Rise and shine, Weasleys! It's September 1st and you know what that means! You little knuckleheads better be dressed and packed and ready to leave for school after breakfast! (GINNY WEASLEY enters)
"This version of your mother is much funnier," Luna commented to Ginny, who smiled.
GINNY: Moom! Have you seen my boyfriend, Harry Potter?
Neville grinned. "Boyfriend?"
"No!" Harry and Ginny said at the same time. They looked at each and turned red. Neville laughed.
"Their musical selves got together in the first one," Ron explained.
"Ooh, okay," Neville nodded.
MOLLY: No, I haven't dear. I've got all these extra kids staying at the house! Bill's wife. Ron's girlfriend!
"Ron's girlfriend?" Luna asked. "Do they mean Hermione?"
"Well, who else?" Neville answered. "And don't say Lavender."
"I wasn't going to."
Harry's girlfriend!
"What? But-I'm her daughter!" Ginny spluttered as everyone else laughed.
I'm swamped! Would you go and wake everyone up for me?
GINNY: Okay!
NARRATOR: Ginny walks up a crooked staircase to the bedroom, where she finds RON sitting on the edge of the bed, lightly strumming a guitar and singing with his meager voice.
"Hey!"
RON: Hey!
"Don't-"
"Repeat myself, yeah, I know, Sirius."
NARRATOR: Sorry, Ron.
GINNY: Heeeeeyyy, Harry Potter! It's time for breakfast!
RON: AHH! EVER HEARD OF KNOCKING!? Get outta my room! (RON hides his guitar from GINNY)
GINNY: It's my room too Ronald! What are you doing in here anyway?
RON: None of your beeswax, thunder-butt!
"Thunder-butt?" Ginny turned towards Ron incredulously. "Seriously?"
Ron shrugged. "I didn't write it. But I will use that now, that's a good one."
CHARLIE: He's writing a love song for his girlfriend. (CHARLIE WEASLEY pops up from beneath the covers.)
RON: Charlie! Get outta here!
"That's the girl who plays Cho, right? I never saw them very clearly last musical," Hermione said.
Ginny nodded. "Yep."
FLEUR: I think it's romantic! (FLEUR DELACOUR pops up from beneath the covers)
RON: Fleur!
BILL: I think you're romantic. (BILL WEASLEY pops up)
FLEUR: Bill! (they kiss)
"Oh, Merlin," Ginny rolled her eyes and mimed gagging. "Those two are horrible."
Luna frowned. "Why would you say that? For all you know they could be very happy with each other."
"I really doubt that," Hermione said.
Luna's frown deepened. "Well, I think that you're all just being mean now. Your opinion doesn't always matter in things like this."
Hermione and Ginny opted to stay silent after this, and not pursue the topic any longer.
RON: Ew! Just–just get a room you two!
BILL: This is our room!
"Wait, why is everyone sharing a room?"
PERCY: Will you guys shut your fat faces! It's the ass-crack of dawn! (PERCY is also in the bed)
Everyone burst into laughter.
"I have a new morning line," Sirius said over the laughter. "Every day, every morning, no matter the time. It's always the ass-crack of dawn."
BILL: Percy, you're just jealous of Ronnie's girlfriend, and my beautiful wife.
PERCY: As if! Argh! I'm gonna go sleep in the garden! At least the gnomes are quiet!
RON: Percy! Don't go out there! Hermione's reading in the garden!
"So?"
PERCY: So? Why isn't she in here with you, Mr. Perfect?!
CHARLIE: Yeah, what's up Ron? Why didn't Hermione crawl into bed with us last night?
"Hold on, we all share a bed, too?"
BILL, FLEUR, GINNY: Yeah?
RON: Well, she was up late reading. We haven't been spending too much time together cause she's really into these young adult novels lately.
Hermione perked up. "Which ones?"
RON: I thought I could sweep Hermione off her feet if I wrote her a song. I'm just trying to get her to kiss me again.
CHARLIE: Well, when was the last time she kissed you, buddy?
RON: Let me think… Um… Yeah. Yeah. It was that first time.
"That was second year," Harry said. "So you've spent five years dating, and only one kiss? That's pretty impressive. You go, guys."
Ron and Hermione turned red.
FLEUR: Ron, as someone who's so very happy in love,
Luna stared pointedly at Ginny and Hermione.
I have advice for you. Just… how you say?... Be yourself!
GINNY: Yeah Ron! Girls don't want cheesy compliments or songs or surprise presents.
Harry groaned. "I have a bad feeling about this..."
NARRATOR: Just then HARRY literally surfs into the room on a heart shaped guitar, being held up by enchanted rose petals. HARRY then surfs onto the bed and flips the guitar into the air. He sings:
HARRY: "Ginny, Ginny, Ginny, you're cool, you're my girlfriend, I love you so much, you're hotter than all the other girlfriends that ever were in the world!"
Harry smacked himself repeatedly for this as Ginny laughed.
GINNY: EEEEEEEEEEEE!
HARRY: I love you Ginny Weasely! You're the most magical creature I've ever seen in my whole life. Surprise! A present from your boyfriend! (he pulls out the Diary from the Department of Mysteries with a bow on it)
Harry gaped at the screen. "Oh my God, are you kidding me? I'm giving her the diary?"
"Worst boyfriend ever," Ginny joked feebly. But she sill looked visibly upset.
GINNY: OH OH OH OH OH! What is it?! What is it?! A diary!? Harry Potter, you are the best boyfriend ever! (She kisses his cheek) I'm going to go write in it right now! (She exits)
HARRY: Hey Ron. Hey Weasleys!
WEASLEYS: Hey good buddy!
"Creepy..."
HARRY: Guys, thanks for letting me stay at the Burrow all summer.
RON: Hey, no problem pal. I'm just sorry you had to share a bed with Ginny. It must be weird sleeping with your girlfriend.
All the males in the room stared at Ron.
"What?" he said defensively. "It's not me! I know it's not weird!"
HARRY: No. No, it was weird that your mom was there too. And you. And your whole family. Like, all in one bed. You guys are so poor.
Ron glared at the ground.
RON: Well, are you all packed for Hogwarts?
HARRY: Yep. I got my invisibility cloak, that piece of the mirror Sirius gave me, and my talk boy. But what I can't find is my lucky snitch.
RON: You mean the one Dumbledore left you when he died?
"You leave me a snitch?" Harry asked Dumbledore. "Why?"
"It's a very special snitch," Dumbledore said. "You will understand soon enough."
HARRY: Yeah, have you guys seen it? It has an inscription on the side of it that says "I open at the close", whatever the fuck that means. (Bill, Fleur, Charlie, and Percy exit.)
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, Sirius, my character doesn't even know!"
RON: Man. I am literally surrounded by people kissing. Bill and Fleur. You and Ginny. I wanna do that!
HARRY: Dude, she's your sister, just ask her.
"Ew."
"No thanks."
RON: Eugh! (just then Hermione enters, sighing and closing her copy of the book Mockingjay)
HERMIONE: Oh wow. Our young depressed heroine reluctantly settles for the doughy boy next door. Another perfect end to another perfect young adult novel series. The Hunger Games, by Gilderoy Lockhart.
"WHAT?!"
"I KNEW HE WOULD BE IN THIS ONE!"
"THIS IS GREAT, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW THEY MAKE FUN OF HIM!"
"THIS IS GOUNG TO BE HILARIOUS."
"What's the Hunger Games?" Hermione asked.
"Paper says it's a super popular book series from the future," Ginny said shortly. "Now how are you not freaking over Lockhart?"'
Hermione shrugged. "While I admit to having a crush on him way back then, I don't anymore, so it doesn't matter."
"You realize that we will still tease you about him throughout the whole musical."
"Yes."
"Okay, have fun with that."
HARRY: I'm sorry, who's Gilderoy Lockhart?
HERMIONE: Who's Gilderoy Lockhart!? He's only my favorite author and idol! He's given the world so many wonderful young adult novels series. Like the Twilight Series, The Hunger Games, Percy Jackson and whatever he did…
"Twilight is that series the whole Team Edward, Tem Jacob thing is from, right?"
"Yup."
HARRY: Twilight? Oh, yeah, yeah, I've heard of that. I don't like how those books objectify men.
HERMIONE: Oh yeah! Have you ever read 'em!? Have you ever read a book!?
HARRY: Have you ever not read a book?!
Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment. "No."
HERMIONE: No! I can't stand people who don't read. Ron, are you almost done with the Hunger Games? I gave you the first book weeks ago.
RON: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…Yes. Yes. It was good. It was a good game.
"I get the feeling I didn't read the Hunger Games..."
"No shit, Sherlock."
HERMIONE: Oh yeah? What is it about?
RON: Uhhhhhh….It was about a…. um…uh… hungry! hungry… uhhh… hungry withholding girl who won't KISS HER BOYFRIEND!
HERMIONE: You did read it!
"I feel like this would have been funnier if we had read the book," Sirius said.
GINNY: Hey you guys! I already told my diary so now I'm gonna tell you! It's time for breakfast!
NARRATOR: They walk downstairs to the dining room. The table is set. BILL, FLUER and THE OTHER WEASLEYS enter.
FLEUR: Bon jour, Weasleys!
PERCY: Yeah, sorry mygirlfriend couldn't be here everyone, but uh, the wifi—I just can't get it to work.
"What's wifi?" Malfoy asked. No one answered. Because no one cared. Poor Malfoy.
MOLLY: I'm just so sad that this is the last meal we have with these boys before they leave me for a whole year! I can't wait until you're all done with Hogwarts so you can just move back in here with me! Like all my other children! Even Fred came back from the dead as a ghost to stay at home! (FRED floats up through the table)
"Oh my Godric, that is ridiculous," Hermione said as Fred and George high-fived each other.
FRED: Oh, the light… I see the light… guess it's time to go now… guess I won't be able to do the dishes… looks like Percy will have to cover for me… (chuckles from the rest of the WEASLEYS)
The twins laughed. "The best way to get out of chores!"
MOLLY: Oh Fred, knock it off. (GEORGE comes from around the corner with a sheet over his head and eye holes cut out.)
GEORGE: But I'm Fred!
MOLLY: George! HAHAHAHA! (Everyone laughs raucously except PERCY)
"I changed my mind," Hermione said. "That is far more ridiculous."
MOLLY: That goes for you too Harry! The second you're done with Hogwarts you're more than welcome to move right in here!
Harry smiled.
HARRY: Oh golly, that's really nice of you Mrs. Weasley.
MOLLY: So… ARE YOU MOVING IN OR NOT?
HARRY: Um, I don't know. I guess I never thought about life after Hogwarts. It's the only home I've ever really known. I can't even begin to imagine what's it's like to leave behind.
"Perfect way to start a song," Harry grumbled. "Here we go..."
BILL: Well you don't have to worry about that, Harry. You've still got your whole senior year ahead.
ARTHUR: Speaking of senior year! Ronnie, my boy, I've got a present for you! It's a Weasley family tradition! It's the keys to the flying car!
Ron and Harry groaned.
WEASLEYS: YAY!
ARTHUR: Yep! Here you go, son! And you can have it all year!
HARRY & RON: This is gonna be the best year ever!
ARTHUR: Yep! It sure is! Cheers everyone! To senior year!
EVEYONE: To senior year! (they all clink glasses)
"And here's the song."
RON: (singing)
We're going back to Hogwarts for the very last time
HERMIONE:
our final year, at last it's here, gonna start our lives
GINNY:
and everyone's excited 'bout what the future holds for you
what the world's most famous wizard is gonna get into
ALL:
well we're going back today
in the very same old way
tell me Harry, can't you hear
it's gonna be your year
It's a VERY POTTER SENIOR YEAR
"I like it so far," Ginny said, fingers tapping against her leg.
(They hear the "Honk! Honk!" of the Flying Car as it magically pulls up outside. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny pile into the Flying Car and take off for Hogwarts)
RON:
I never thought that we would get this far
But we made it, we're on top of the world!
ALL:
(We're on top of the world)
RON:
I feel unstoppable, I'm super-charged
ALL:
It's contagious that's for sure
(We're on top of the world)
HERMIONE:
We'll have some cool new spells to learn
And we're gonna earn good grades
GINNY:
You're gonna spend lotsa time with me
And this is gonna be
The very best year!
ALL:
The very best year!
ALL:
It's a very potter senior year!
Senior year!
We're not just kids anymore!
Senior year!
Senior year!
Better than ever before!
ALL: It's a very Potter Senior Year!
"This is catchy," Neville commented.
HARRY:
Something's on the horizon
And I know that something is me
I've been realizin'
There's no one else I'd rather be than me
you know I'm gonna rule the school
RON:
Just remember when you need a friend
Our friendship never ends
I'll be there
GINNY & HERMIONE:
(We're at your side)
HERMIONE:
Don't forget I got a hand to lend
You don't have to pretend
Anymore
GINNY & RON:
(No don't do that)
HARRY:
Cause you're the very best friends to me
and this is gonna be the very best year!
ALL:
The very best year!
ALL:
It's a very potter senior year!
Senior year!
We're not just kids anymore!
Senior year!
Senior year!
Better than ever before!
GINNY & HERMIONE:
This is the last time
HARRY:
I'll be the king of the school,
RON:
Oh man it's gonna rule!
GINNY & HERMIONE:
This is the last time
RON:
We gotta make it count,
HARRY:
That's what I'm all about!
GINNY & HERMIONE:
This is the magic
HARRY & RON:
Of growing up and showing up for
ALL:
Senior year
GINNY, RON & HERMIONE:
This is the last time
HARRY:
And soon all the fun
Will be over and done
GINNY, RON & HERMIONE:
This is the last time
HARRY:
It's hard to pretend
That I'm not scared of the end
GINNY, RON & HERMIONE:
This is the magic
HARRY:
There must be something more
But I should get ready for my senior-
ALL:
senior year!
Senior year!
We're not just kids anymore!
Senior year!
Senior year!
Better than ever before!
(this is the last time)
It's a Very Potter Senior Year!
"We are still great singers, even after all those years," Ron declared.
NARRATOR: Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look out their windshield to see HOGWARTS off in the distance.
RON: Well, there it is, Harry. Hogwarts. God, she's beautiful.
NARRATOR: As they descend the ride becomes very turbulent.
HARRY: Whoa, whoa, Ron, keep her steady man. Don't hit the Whomping Willow or anything.
"Jinx it, why don't you," Harry said.
RON: Okay, dude, I'm trying! Uh oh! We're going down! Hold on!
HARRY: TO WHAT!?
KIDS: Ahhhhhhhh! (they crash)
"Well, that was fun," George said.
"Except the end, when you crash," Fred continued.
"Yeah, that kinda sucks," Geroge finished.
"Well, duh," Ron rolled his eyes.
"We just crashed into the Whomping Willow," Ginny said.
"All because Harry jinxed it," Hermione added.
"Don't blame me! Blame musical me!" Harry exclaimed.
"I still blame you for the actual crash, by the way."
"Ron!"
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