Hello! Yes! It's me! I'm back! More exclamation marks! Sorry it took so long, guys, but my interest in this story plummeted. However, I do plan on finishing, no matter how long it takes (I published this over a year ago, it should be done by now uGH).
Sorry in advance for the lack of comments from the characters. The months without this story have been filled with me re-evaluating some of them, so I'm trying to get back into writing the characters correctly while also not injecting my personal feelings about each of them in. It's been a tough process, so I didn't get much in.
So, as a refresher, have a seating chart: Dumbledore is in his armchair by the really big couch, Snape and Malfoy are sharing a couch a bit away from everyone else, sort of by Dumbledore, Fred, George, Sirius, and Luna are on the floor in beanbag chairs, Remus is in an armchair on the opposite side of the giant couch that the rest of the teens are on, in the following order: Neville (by Dumbledore's side), Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny (by Remus's side).
Thanks to all those who have reviewed, followed, and favorited the story, and those of you who PMed me about the story. I love you guys!
Disclaimer: I don't own JKR's characters, or Starkid's musical.
ACT 1
SCENE 4 – ALWAYS DANCE
NARRATOR: Lights up on the Girl's Bathroom.
GINNY: No. P-p-p-p-p-p-lease. Please don't let it be t-t-true. (suddenly MOANING MYRTLE, a ghost, floats out of a nearby stall)
"I know Hermione used to be the type to cry in bathrooms," Ron said. "But Ginny?"
Ginny looked unimpressed. "First off, that was a horribly insensitive thing to say," she said. "Secondly, I am allowed to be emotional and cry in bathrooms, Ron."
"Like when you're on your, you know, when it's that time of the month," Ron said, as if clarifying.
"It's not like we're only allowed to be emotional when we're on our periods," Hermione snapped. "We have emotions every other day of lives, too."
Ginny and Luna nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
"Yeah, but well, isn't it like, aren't you like," Ron spluttered, and looked towards the males in the room for assistance. They shook their heads, eyes wide, not wanting to get pulled down with Ron, and also not stupid enough to agree with him. Fred mouthed 'you fucked up' at his youngest brother. Ron paled.
Hermione shared a victorious look with the girls as Ron sunk into his seat, defeated.
MOANING MYRTLE: Hey! Shut up over there! People are trying to use this bathroom and they're not doing it…and I think it's your fault!
GINNY: I'm sorry Moaning Myrtle…I'm just heartbroken.
Harry's jaw dropped. "Myrtle?" he squeaked.
"She doesn't even look remotely like that," Hermione said.
"But at least she isn't flirting," Ron commented.
MOANING MYRTLE: Awww, awwwww, poor baby! Harry Potter's girlfriend sad because she's still alive! Does baby want some whine with that cheese? FUCK YOU!
"I like this Myrtle," Sirius said.
GINNY: That's just it, I'm not Harry Potter's girlfriend anymore. I might as well be dead…
"Never kill yourself over a boy, and especially not me. That's so stupid, boys should never define your life," Harry told Ginny. She smiled at him.
MOANING MYRTLE: Well don't die here! The last thing this castle needs is a whiny BITCH stalking the hallways and the bathroom! And your voice is annoying! (she floats away)
"Thanks so much."
GINNY: Okay. Diary time.
Harry and Ginny both winced.
(Ginny takes out the Diary that Harry gave to her and starts writing) Dear Diary. It's me, Ginny. Today my whole world fell apart. My boyfriend dumped me! Well, you know what? I am done with him! I hate him! Do you hear me diary? I hate Harry Potter! (an eerie voice emits from the Diary; the voice of TOM RIDDLE)
TOM RIDDLE: Tell me about it.
"It never did that," Ginny blurted. She bit her lip nervously as everyone stared at her.
GINNY: Huuuh? Huuuuh?! Who said that?
TOM RIDDLE: Somebody who understands you Ginny.
"As if."
Somebody who knows what it's like to be filled with hate.
"Little sister Ginny?" Fred cackled.
"Filled with hate?" George scoffed.
"Good one." The twins said in unison.
GINNY: Diary?
TOM RIDDLE: I'm a journal! Not a diary! Diaries are for girls.
"Oh wow."
"How sexist."
But yes, Ginny, I'm a magic diary…shit, journal.
The room burst into laughter.
I'm a magic journal…enchanted with the spirit of its former owner.
GINNY: Harry?
TOM RIDDLE: No.
GINNY: But Harry gave it to me.
TOM RIDDLE: Read the name on the cover, stupid!
GINNY: Huh, okay! Tom… (tries to read middle name) Marv… Marvle… Mar…
"Marvolo," Dumbledore said quietly.
TOM RIDDLE: Just skip that name. It's a made up name for this letter re-arranging trick…you'll find out later.
"What?" Those who were not involved with the Chamber of Secrets incident looked confused.
"Tom Marvolo Riddle is an anagram for 'I am Lord Voldemort,'" Harry explained.
Just go to the next name.
GINNY: Riddle.
"How can you even pronounce that wrong," Hermione said incredulously.
TOM RIDDLE: Yeah, Tom Riddle. I'm a piece of his soul, separated from the whole and bound to this diary… SHIT! JOURNAL! BOUND TO THIS FUCKING JOURNAL!
The group laughed again.
GINNY: What do you want, diary?
TOM RIDDLE: To help you, Ginny. That's what journals are for. See, I once was like you. Alone. Angry. The world had turned its back on me.
"I never want to be compared to him ever."
GINNY: What did you do, diary?
TOM RIDDLE: Let me show you…in a magic flashback.
"A what?"
It all started when I was a boy, an orphan boy…
"No way," Ginny gasped dramatically.
"I'm having a magic flashback," Harry proclaimed, catching on. "A magic flashback to the first musical."
"To a totally awesome musical number," Ginny continued.
"To dancing again with my Death Eaters."
"To taking my little foot—"
"—and with that foot—"
"—I'd start to shake!" Ginny finished as those who had been around during the first musical dissolved into laughter.
"We don't get it," Sirius interjected.
"Yes, do enlighten us," Remus said.
"And stop stealing our act," Fred and George chimed in.
"There was a song from the first musical," Malfoy said quietly, "and the first line was what, uh, Tom Riddle just said. The orphan thing. That's why it's so funny."
"Thank you for explaining," Luna said cheerfully while Sirius stared. Neville nodded once in acknowledgement as the twins gaped comically.
"What," Malfoy said flatly.
"Nothing," Remus said before the twins could say anything. "Thank you, Mr Malfoy."
NARRATOR: Lights down on Ginny. Lights up on the magic flashback; we find ourselves in Wool's Orphanage, many years ago. (Mrs. Cole enters in the midst of conversation.)
MRS. COLE: I think you'll find that Wool's Orphanage is a first rate establishment. We have seven breeds of orphan, including street urchin, rosy-cheeked, delightfully small, and one little, evil, telekinetic anti-Christ…
Harry snorted.
Now, what was it you were interested in today, Mr…
DUMBLEDORE: Dumbledore. (Dumbledore enters. He is dressed in a purple suit; he wears Scarfy around his neck) Albus Dumbledore. But you can call me Dumby, or Big D. You know, the"D" stands for, uhh, my doctorate!
"Nice, Professor," Fred said.
"What's a doctorate?" Malfoy asked no one in particular.
"It's the highest type of degree you can receive from Muggle universities," Hermione explained patiently. Malfoy bowed his head in thanks. Everyone was starting to become a little worried (or hopeful, in Dumbledore's case) about Malfoy.
I'm a professor, at a school for very magical children—ah, fuck shit. Imean, very regular children.
"Nice save, Professor," George said.
MRS. COLE: Oh, well, you're in luck, Big D, because we have plenty of those in stock. Follow me.
DUMBLEDORE: Oh yeah. Listen, Doll-Face, I'm here to see one little cutie in particular. That Tom Riddle. I think he might be just right for our school.
MRS. COLE: Tom Riddle? Suit yourself, but I warn you this boy's a monster!
Harry nodded rapidly.
(Mrs. Cole and Dumbledore enter Tom Riddle's room. Tom sits on his bed.) Thomas, you have a visitor. AProfessor Dumbledore.
DUMBLEDORE: How do you do, Tom? (Tom turns to Dumbledore)
TOM RIDDLE: Professor? Like a doctor? So they come here to take a look at me, huh? Well, there's nothing wrong with me!
Many people raised a skeptical eyebrow at this.
MRS. COLE: Stop shouting at him, Mr. Man! He's from a school! He might just take you off my hands, you filthy little heathen!
DUMBLEDORE: Thank you very much, Mrs. Cole. I think I can take it from here. Now get outta here! (Mrs. Cole exits)
TOM RIDDLE: Why don't you get outta here, too? You're not gonna want me. She's right, you know. I'm evil.
DUMBLEDORE: You are not evil, Tom.
"Yeah, no, he's evil."
TOM RIDDLE: Yes I am. Mrs. Cole told me that my mommy died when I came out of her tummy. The first thing I that ever did was kill somebody.
DUMBLEDORE: Well, Tom, you know, sometimes you accidentally kill your family. It's nothing to beat yourself up about. Hey, listen, you know who accidentally killed his sister while he was in a fight with his boyfriend? This guy, right here. (Dumbledore points to himself)
Dumbledore lost his eye twinkle and he frowned deeply.
"Professor?" Hermione asked timidly. "Is that true?"
"Alas, Miss Granger," Dumbledore sighed heavily. "That would be a story for another time."
TOM RIDDLE: You've killed people too?
DUMBLEDORE: Oh yeah, tons of times. But it doesn't make me bad, and it doesn't make you bad. There are just some things you don't know about yourself yet. All you need is a big strong hand to put you on the right path. Tell me, Tom, do you ever feel like you're a little bit different from the other little boys?
TOM RIDDLE: Uh huh.
DUMBLEDORE: Sometimes can you make extra special things happen? Silly fun things?
TOM RIDDLE: Well…sometimes when I'm really happy, I can shoot sparkles out of my fingers!
Harry nearly fell over as he started laughing at the thought of Voldemort shooting sparkles out of his fingers.
DUMBLEDORE: Gasp! You know what that means?! Tom, that means...you're a magic boy!
TOM RIDDLE: What?!
DUMBLEDORE: That means you're a magic boy! Those sparkles from your hands? That's magic! You're a wizard, Tom!
TOM RIDDLE: Oh boy! I knew I was special!
DUMBLEDORE: And you're gonna come with me, and I'm gonna take you to a magical school for wizards with a silly name! You wanna know the name? It's Hogwarts!
"It is pretty silly," Hermione admitted. "I think that if I had just gotten the letter and a professor hadn't come to tell me about it, I would've thought it was a dumb joke just by the name."
TOM RIDDLE: Hehe! That's funny!
DUMBLEDORE: And at Hogwarts the professors are giant people, and tiny people, and werewolves, and cats! And we play games! And there's no fucking homework! All we learn how to do is sing and dance!
"I wish," Ron said.
TOM RIDDLE: Yay! Yahoo! Sparkles! (Tom jumps around happily and shoots sparkles from his hands)
DUMBLEDORE: Oh Tom! Look at that sparkly magic! You look as gay as the fourth of July!
"That's Dumbledore's Scarf of Sexual Preference sorting," Hermione explained to the clueless ones as everyone else in the room started laughing.
"What?" Nevillelooked really, really confused.
"It's this scarf to tell you your sexual preference," Hermione explained. "Like the Sorting Hat, but instead of putting you in a house, it tells you your sexuality."
"Oh. Oh."
"Yep."
TOM RIDDLE: Yay! I'm magic! I'm gay!
Ron successfully turned his laugh into a cough at Hermione's look.
DUMBLEDORE: Me too! Tom, from this moment forward, you're turning over a new leaf.
SONG- ALWAYS DANCE
DUMBLEDORE:
Now you are a boy,
an orphan boy,
and deep inside of you
a broken soul,
a gaping hole
has left you feeling blue.
But you're not like the other boys
you've got that magic flair.
Cause when you start to sway, you get carried away!
And no one can compare.
"It's the same tune as before!"
I've been watching you play,
I've been listening to the things that you say
and I've come to tell you today,
You're no ordinary blighter.
You've got a broken heart,
and you keep reaching inside to tear it apart,
But I'm here to give you a brand new start
And make your spirit brighter!
When all the other boys start to laugh and jeer,
I know a secret way you can make them disappear.
You've got the talent, kid, so here's your chance.
They might not understand, but just stick to the plan
and show 'em all its time to dance!
Always dance!
Always dance!
Though they'll try to stop you, always dance.
Shut your mouth and stop your yapping,
Take your foot and set it tapping!
You were born a magic boy, so leap and twirl and prance!
And, Tommy, always dance!
(After Dumbledore finishes his verse Tom grabs his bag, takes Dumbledore's hand, and prepares to leave for Hogwarts)
DUMBLEDORE: Are you ready to go to Hogwarts?
TOM RIDDLE:
I've been waiting to go,
for how long I really don't know,
but one look at you and I know
that you would never fool me.
I've been living a lie.
Ever since I made my poor mommy die
I've been softly wondering why
they all choose to ridicule me.
"Well," Harry started before he was shushed. Rude.
(he gets sad during that last part, so Dumbledore chimes in to cheer him up)
DUMBLEDORE:
When all the other boys start to laugh and jeer,
DUMBLEDORE & TOM RIDDLE:
I know a secret way you (I) can make them disappear.
DUMBLEDORE:
You've got that talent, kid!
TOM RIDDLE:
This is my chance!
DUMBLEDORE & TOM RIDDLE:
They might not understand, but we'll stick to the plan
and show em all its time to dance!
Always dance!
Always dance!
Though they'll try to stop you, always dance.
Shut your mouth and stop your yapping,
Take your foot and set it tapping!
TOM RIDDLE:
I was born a magic boy, I'll leap and twirl and prance!
DUMBLEDORE:
Oh, Tommy, always dance!
TOM RIDDLE: (overlapping)
Dumby I'll always dance!
(By the end of Tom Riddle's verse he is at Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat is placed on Tom's head)
SORTY: Slytherin! (Dumbledore removes the hat. Tom starts to walk away. Dumbledore stops him)
DUMBLEDORE: Wait Tom! You're sorting's not done yet. The Scarf of Sexual Preference! (Dumbledore places Scarfy around Tom's shoulders)
SCARFY: Oh! Interesting. I could see you going a number of ways.
Harry looked scarred for life. Well, I mean, he always looked scarred, what with the lightning bolt scar on his forehead, but—whatever, you know what I mean.
(Tom walks over to the Slytherin benches; there he sees a young Lucius and Bellatrix. Lucius dances in place as Bellatrix watches in astonishment. Lucius turns to Tom.)
LUCIUS: Why, hello there!
TOM RIDDLE: Um... hi.
LUCIUS: My name is Lucius, but you can call me Louie!
Neville stared in astonishment. Malfoy choked on air.
When I grow up, I want to be a Rockette!
Hermione and Harry snickered as everyone else looked confused.
BELLATRIX: And I'm Trixie. I like Hogwarts cause there's lots of nice friends to make and yummy food to eat!
Neville scowled at the sight of his parents' tormentor.
TOM RIDDLE: Are you making fun of me?
BELLATRIX: No! You wanna be friends? (Bellatrix holds out her small baby hand for a handshake)
TOM RIDDLE: Back off! (Tom pushes her to the ground. Bellatrix is turned on.)
BELLATRIX: Gasp! What a man!
Harry gagged.
LUCIUS: Oh, we'll see how much of a man you are! Care for a friendly dance-off?
"No," Malfoy groaned. "Not the dancing again."
TOM RIDDLE: Do I!
"Oh my Merlin."
(Lucius and Tom have a dance off)
Malfoy groaned again and hid his face in his hands.
TOM RIDDLE: Hm, that's pretty good, but can you do this?!
SLYTHERINS: Oh, oh! Oooh.
(It is clear Tom is the better dancer; he thus gains dominance in Slytherin House)
SLYTHERINS:
Look at his style!
Look at him go!
Watch his technique!
Check out his flow!
My, how he leaps!
Oh, what a prance!
Look at him look at him look at him dance!
ALL:
Always dance!
Always dance!
Though they'll try to stop you, always dance.
Shut your mouth and stop your yapping,
Take your foot and set it tapping! (bring it home tempo)
He was born a magic boy, so leap and twirl and prance!
Always, always, always, always, always, always dance!
(The magical flashback fades away, except for Tom. Ginny is now alone.)
TOM RIDDLE: So, you see, Ginny, when the world sucks, just dance. And the world always sucks, so always dance! Dance with me?
Ginny looked horrified. "Say no, say no, say no," she chanted.
GINNY: Oh boy, yeah! (Tom and Ginny dance.)
"UGH."
TOM RIDDLE:
You've got the talent, kid, so you're my nominee.
You might not understand, but you will dance with me…
Always dance…
Always dance...
Though they'll try to stop us, always dance.
You were born for my control, so step into my trance...
Ginny winced.
Always, always, always dance!
(Lights down.)
"Well," Harry said. "That was…interesting?"
"Sure," Ginny said glumly. "Interesting."
"Moving on," Hermione said quickly, noticing Ginny's discomfort. "We still have several more videos to finish before going to bed."
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